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astrocat · 05-26-2021, 01:04 AM

SPOILER!!: Amir + Professor Kazmi

"I'm not mad at Gemma. Just the government, and the universe, and certain specific people who aren't Gemma." And she wasn't even lying. On the scale of how mad Ash was at people, Gemma was like, a three. Cambridge was a seven on the scale of anger. Healer Poppy was an eight on the scale of anger. Ash... didn't really want to go past that. Actually, she really didn't. Slight correction in the order.

"I can see how that exploding stuff would happen." Yeah, Ash did a lot of rage outbursts. Mostly in secret. Mostly internally. Most of that rage was taken out on stuffed animals that she stitched back together by hand. Or game controllers she kept needing to replace. Mirrors that needed to be swept up. But some of it got directed at people. She couldn't help it. "I'm not afraid of saying something I don't mean. I'm scared of saying something that I really do mean." Because if you didn't mean what you said, you could just apologize and take it back. If you meant every word you said, where did you go from there?

"I would like to avoid saying things that I agree with too much to take back and also things that other people don't get to know. But how do you have those thoughts and not say them?" Because obviously, she couldn't go around screaming 'what if I never produce a patronus'. She couldn't scream a lot of other things. She couldn't scream in general. Obviously. People would use it against her. They'd never understand. But she couldn't just... stop those thoughts. Had he ever tried to cover a faucet with his hand and had the water spray everywhere? It was like that. Healer Poppy was trying to cover a faucet with her hand right now. And Ash's thoughts were like the water.

She looked at the cat rubbing at her ankles. She felt the crystals in her bracelets, the gifts from Serena. Both there to calm her down. She did not look up. "This could be avoided if I just didn't come back." The therapy sessions, she meant. But also, the wizarding world. If she just held on until the winter holidays, returned to Australia for break, and then conveniently missed the returning train... she'd be free. Her gaze remained pointed at the floor, her eyes wandering from cat, to bracelets, to phoenix tattoo, to burns, to the other burns, and back to the tattoo. She still didn't look up. She looked at the cat again. Cute cat. Fuzzy cat. Soft cat. Ash remained almost motionless, like she was dead or something. But really, she was just silently distracting herself with Professor Kazmi's cat. Kitty cat. Nice cat. Ash had half a mind to purr at the cat... there was a cat. A fuzzy and soft kitty cat... pet the cat... cats. So soft... where were they again? Ash looked up from the cat, momentarily distracted. Then her eyes cleared. She remembered perfectly, as usual. Then she went back to looking at the cat. She would much rather look at Amir the cat. There was a cat... the cat was fluffy... just, cats. There was a cat. Look, right there. A cat.

"I like Amir." The cat. There was a cat. Named Amir. And that was the single most important thing happening in this discussion.

05-26-2021, 01:04 AM	#14 (permalink)
astrocat Puffskein Join Date: Jul 2020 Location: New York City Posts: 2,126 Hogwarts RPG Name: Brandon Fox Hufflepuff Fourth Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Phoebe Calypso [s]Dupont[/s] Slytherin Second Year	Which came first, the phoenix or the flame? SPOILER!!: Amir + Professor Kazmi Quote: Originally Posted by Felixir Again with the voice activation. Amir pushed to his feet, stretching out his front paws, and then legs, and hopping down off the desk. As Kamran brushed away the stray fur left behind, the cat wound its way around the Ravenclaw's ankles, still purring loudly. Show off. Kamran left the cat to it. "I don't think anyone could blame you for being mad, whether at Kitridge, or the government, or the universe." Teenagers generally had a lot of righteous anger inside them, especially those who'd been through it. And, actually, most had, but very few been through what Fox had been through, from what he'd heard. Kamran didn't begrudge Kitridge her anger either. There wasn't a single student in this school not entitled to their thoughts and feelings, and Kamran stood by that even for the kids he didn't understand in the slightest. Trying to convince them they were wrong was not only a fool's errand but, in his long experience, actively harmful. Fox was rambling just ever so slightly, and Kamran allowed it, clearly listening, though he didn't intend to respond to every word. Frankly he'd been surprised that had been the only major outburst he'd witnessed so far, but he supposed it might be a while before the students accepted even subconsciously that they were safe enough to behave in those typical teenage ways again. One thing to look out for with the yelling is that if you have certain thoughts building up, some might burst out one day when you least expect it." Which was exactly what Kamran suspected had happened, but now he phrased it as what might be one day, rather than what had already happened. "Is that something you're hoping to avoid at all?" Not even implying she had thoughts she didn't want to share. Even though everyone had those. "I'm not mad at Gemma. Just the government, and the universe, and certain specific people who aren't Gemma." And she wasn't even lying. On the scale of how mad Ash was at people, Gemma was like, a three. Cambridge was a seven on the scale of anger. Healer Poppy was an eight on the scale of anger. Ash... didn't really want to go past that. Actually, she really didn't. Slight correction in the order. "I can see how that exploding stuff would happen." Yeah, Ash did a lot of rage outbursts. Mostly in secret. Mostly internally. Most of that rage was taken out on stuffed animals that she stitched back together by hand. Or game controllers she kept needing to replace. Mirrors that needed to be swept up. But some of it got directed at people. She couldn't help it. "I'm not afraid of saying something I don't mean. I'm scared of saying something that I really do mean." Because if you didn't mean what you said, you could just apologize and take it back. If you meant every word you said, where did you go from there? *"I would* like to avoid saying things that I agree with too much to take back and also things that other people don't get to know. But how do you have those thoughts and not say them?" Because obviously, she couldn't go around screaming 'what if I never produce a patronus'. She couldn't scream a lot of other things. She couldn't scream in general. Obviously. People would use it against her. They'd never understand. But she couldn't just... stop those thoughts. Had he ever tried to cover a faucet with his hand and had the water spray everywhere? It was like that. Healer Poppy was trying to cover a faucet with her hand right now. And Ash's thoughts were like the water. She looked at the cat rubbing at her ankles. She felt the crystals in her bracelets, the gifts from Serena. Both there to calm her down. She did not look up. "This could be avoided if I just didn't come back." The therapy sessions, she meant. But also, the wizarding world. If she just held on until the winter holidays, returned to Australia for break, and then conveniently missed the returning train... she'd be free. Her gaze remained pointed at the floor, her eyes wandering from cat, to bracelets, to phoenix tattoo, to burns, to the other burns, and back to the tattoo. She still didn't look up. She looked at the cat again. Cute cat. Fuzzy cat. Soft cat. Ash remained almost motionless, like she was dead or something. But really, she was just silently distracting herself with Professor Kazmi's cat. Kitty cat. Nice cat. Ash had half a mind to purr at the cat... there was a cat. A fuzzy and soft kitty cat... pet the cat... cats. So soft... where were they again? Ash looked up from the cat, momentarily distracted. Then her eyes cleared. She remembered perfectly, as usual. Then she went back to looking at the cat. She would much rather look at Amir the cat. There was a cat... the cat was fluffy... just, cats. There was a cat. Look, right there. A cat. "I like Amir."** The cat. There was a cat. Named Amir. And that was the single most important thing happening in this discussion.