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Felixir · 02-21-2021, 04:09 AM

"You didn't have to." Not in so many words, at least. Reading between the lines, however, it was right there. Not even necessarily in what Grantham did or did not say, but in how she reacted. Granted, not an obvious or exact marker, but close enough to serve, and reliable enough too.

The sarcasm served as confirmation. It was born of emotion, of malice, even, however short-lived. Despite Nem being firm in the knowledge that emotional displays were a clear sign of weakness, sometimes Grantham could be fascinating in spite of them, or maybe because of them. Entertaining, yes, that too. But really, legitimately fascinating. What must that feel like, to be so reactive? How much was she thinking about her actions, if at all? And again, that previous question returned to them, the one Nem really had wanted to know the answer to. Did the anger fill her up? Not to mention the hypothetical follow-up, which they likely wouldn't have voiced: what did that feel like?

In the face of Grantham's biting remark, Nem only stayed silent once more, though it would have been the perfect time to point out that they had not actually mentioned finding any of the Jake situation 'rough' at all, that it had been nothing more than a matter-of-fact statement that she had twisted into something else entirely. It was better to let her keep going; Grantham's responses said much more about her than they ever would about Nem.

Ultimately, it turned out not to matter. Grantham did not seem interested in a response, if the wand she had pointed at Nem (more or less) was anything to go by. But while she had drawn it, Nem didn't move, didn't flinch, didn't blink. They breathed no faster, and their heart continued at the same steady rate. Nothing. Less, even, than they would have expected, and that realisation triggered within them the most curious sense of loss which, while not exactly intense, translated into a more acute emptiness than they were accustomed to. How could that make sense? That feeling so numb could be at all painful? There was a word for it, maybe, but Nem didn't know what it was, only that the feeling, such as it was (or was not), still wasn't enough. That it would never be enough.

Vaguely aware that Grantham seemed to be going through some sort of journey of her own, Nem tried to soften their gaze, and match what they thought they could see in her, but knew it was unlikely to work. They could tell there was nothing in their eyes either, and so words would have to do.

"I'm not going anywhere, Berns." They clearly weren't, either. Nem still hadn't moved from that spot, their feet were planted and their hands were still shoved deep inside their pockets for warmth, wand still holstered. "Whether you hurt me or not."

02-21-2021, 04:09 AM	#53 (permalink)
Felixir Book Club Mod Alley Proprietor MO & DoM Banshee Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Posts: 50,103 Hogwarts RPG Name: Charlie Upstead Gryffindor Third Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Aurelio Kaiser Slytherin First Year Ministry RPG Name: Daxton Prince Mysteries Ministry RPG Name: Nikolai Kaiser Minister's Office Diagon Alley Employee: Ezekiel Ransom-Kruus Ollivanders x12 x12	Lovely™ \| Captain Hurted \| Ariana's Bane \| Resident Antagonist \| Unparalleled Delight "You didn't have to." Not in so many words, at least. Reading between the lines, however, it was right there. Not even necessarily in what Grantham did or did not say, but in how she reacted. Granted, not an obvious or exact marker, but close enough to serve, and reliable enough too. The sarcasm served as confirmation. It was born of emotion, of malice, even, however short-lived. Despite Nem being firm in the knowledge that emotional displays were a clear sign of weakness, sometimes Grantham could be fascinating in spite of them, or maybe because of them. Entertaining, yes, that too. But really, legitimately fascinating. What must that feel like, to be so reactive? How much was she thinking about her actions, if at all? And again, that previous question returned to them, the one Nem really had wanted to know the answer to. Did the anger fill her up? Not to mention the hypothetical follow-up, which they likely wouldn't have voiced: what did that feel like? In the face of Grantham's biting remark, Nem only stayed silent once more, though it would have been the perfect time to point out that they had not actually mentioned finding any of the Jake situation 'rough' at all, that it had been nothing more than a matter-of-fact statement that she had twisted into something else entirely. It was better to let her keep going; Grantham's responses said much more about her than they ever would about Nem. Ultimately, it turned out not to matter. Grantham did not seem interested in a response, if the wand she had pointed at Nem (more or less) was anything to go by. But while she had drawn it, Nem didn't move, didn't flinch, didn't blink. They breathed no faster, and their heart continued at the same steady rate. Nothing. Less, even, than they would have expected, and that realisation triggered within them the most curious sense of loss which, while not exactly intense, translated into a more acute emptiness than they were accustomed to. How could that make sense? That feeling so numb could be at all painful? There was a word for it, maybe, but Nem didn't know what it was, only that the feeling, such as it was (or was not), still wasn't enough. That it would never be enough. Vaguely aware that Grantham seemed to be going through some sort of journey of her own, Nem tried to soften their gaze, and match what they thought they could see in her, but knew it was unlikely to work. They could tell there was nothing in their eyes either, and so words would have to do. "I'm not going anywhere, Berns." They clearly weren't, either. Nem still hadn't moved from that spot, their feet were planted and their hands were still shoved deep inside their pockets for warmth, wand still holstered. "Whether you hurt me or not." __________________ Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You? You are Chocolate!