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Old 09-14-2016, 05:03 AM   #25 (permalink)
Erindipity


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Originally Posted by hermygirl View Post
Sam's brow furrowed into frown. "But I'm not tryna hurt yeh. I've only ever been fighting for yeh to make it better. I hate seeing you upset, and I'm on your side." And it showed on her face. The strength that Sam had been trying to project whenever they had interacted of late was starting to crumble. "You're not the onleh one who's lost stuff, you know." Dora had a loving family, a house to go home to, a full wardrobe, money. Sam had a father in Azkaban, her rat Ollie, and the contents of her school trunk. Once upon a time she hadn't known anything else, but now she did.

She knew she deserved Dora's reaction for the street trash comment, and Sam regretted immediately the choice of phrase. "I'm sorry, okay? That was me lashing out." She looked up at her friend, a mixture of guilt and hurt in her eyes. "I know you don't feel like that. But you've shut down on me so much recently, avoided me...it kinda feels like that. The way people used to treat me 'n' t'other kids around Diagon Alley...as if we didn't mean anything to them." And she thought she meant something to Dora. Maybe only hoped she still did at this point. The Gryffindor had been her family, and she thought families stuck together.

...and then the older girl started to take off through the selves. Sam shook her head as she picked up her bag. "No, no you don't," she said under her breath, following closely behind. "You're not garbage, Dora. You're my best friend." She looked down at her feet, trying to hide the tears that were welling in her own eyes. "...if you still want to be, that is."
"I don't think that I am the only person to lose someone... or something. I simply know how it makes ME feel. How bad it hurts ME. I don't know how anyone else feels about their own losses," she said as she slowed, but kept moving toward the door. It pained her to be having this fight YET AGAIN, but it didn't mean she didn't believe what she said. How she felt was valid and Sam had really hurt her, whether she meant to or not.

Sam's next remarks made Dora stop short though, caused her steps to falter. That hurt HER. Likening her to every other person in the world... every other person in the alley. She noticed Sam from day one. Was drawn to her. She never thought, in a million years, that Sam could compare her to one of those people that ignored her existence. Never. "You say that like you're the only person I have shut down on, Sam. Seriously, you're not the only one. I avoided Charlotte for an entire summer... and part of the term previous. It's not personal. It's how I cope. Which you, of all people, should know by now. I told you I needed time to figure things out and you kept pushing. I am not used to people caring enough to push, okay." Which probably wasn't much of an excuse to Sam's ears, but it spoke volumes to Dora. Legit.

"Best friends don't tell the other they are in love with them... when they aren't. And then make them feel like crap... like trash, like you said. I did those things to you. How could you still want to be my friend? I don't understand." She truly didn't. Dora had caused her friend so much pain... why did she still care? "I mean... I still care about you and you're definitely the one I consider my best friend, but how could you put up with all... that?"
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