Every few weeks, Rae had the urge to dig into her chocolate stash under the seventh stair. Fletcher, wanting to know why she only ate chocolate every four weeks, decided to try her “diet.”

So he bought a chocolate bar on September first, bit off a square, wrapped it up, and stowed it under the floorboard. He did his best to forget the chocolate, and eventually made it to the end of the month.

Thirty days later, when Fletcher pried the floorboard back, all he found was a bar of mold. Some things, he learned, are just meant for women.