Chapter Three
"Mother...why won't you look at me?"

"Because you represent everything that I am afraid of."

Vision blurred, Kurumi tried to read the words her mother had so painstakingly written with her own hands, but it was impossible. Her eyes couldn't focus on anything for longer than a few seconds and even then nothing was registering. She heard her mother moan again and she nervously lifted her gaze to meet her. She exhaled sharply and unevenly through her nose when she saw her mother's lips quivering as if she were trying to speak. But that was impossible. The doctors had said that the ability to produce speech had been lost long ago.

Kurumi set the journal down on the table and reached for the chart when her mother groaned aggressively and Kurumi's movements froze, eyes back on her mother. She tried her best to read her face, focusing on her eyes to try and figure out what her mother wanted from her. The woman groaned again, eyes on the chart and then flicking them back to her daughter. "Mother..." she whispered, confusion plastered all over her face.

Timidly, Kurumi set the chart down and rose from her seat beside the bed, taking a kneeling position instead. Her own small hands reached for her mother's, taking them in her own and clutching them like she had never done before. She had never had the chance to. Her mother holding her hand had been a privilege that the sixteen year old had never hand...until now.

Why had it taken so long? Why now? Why hadn't her mother shown her any of this compassion before? Why had she been present but not in Kurumi's life? Why all the stern looks? Why all the disappointment? Why was nothing Kurumi ever did good enough? Why? Why? WHY?

Kurumi's thumb traced random circles on her mother's palm and she couldn't help but wonder if her mother could even feel her touch. She had been too afraid to ask the details of her mother's illness. Somethings were just best left a mystery.

Her mother moaned again, her lips still quivering and Kurumi saw something reflected in her eyes that frightened her. "I'll go get the doctor," she said in a hurried tone as she began to pull herself away...only to find that her mother's hand had suddenly clasped itself around her wrist, causing Kurumi to freeze again. How was this possible? She shouldn't have reflexes anymore. Her violet eyes were back on her mother's face, her own full of terror at what she was seeing. What she could sense was coming. All she wanted to do right now was to go get a doctor, surely they would know what to do. Why was her mother not allowing her to go?

Yet another question that would never be answered.

"Ku...."

Kurumi exhaled, her breath shaky and the tears pouring down her face now. "Mother...please...." But her mother's fragile hold on her wrist kept Kurumi from moving. All her senses were heightened and the soft beeping noise of the machinery was now deafening.

"Ku...ru...mi..."

Kurumi's face contorted and her eyes shut again, her own tears burning them so much that she felt as though she would go blind if she stayed like this for too long. Surrendering, Kurumi returned to her kneeling position on the floor and forced herself to open her eyes and look at her mother. Again, the gentleness, the warmth, the motherly look there caused her heart to feel like it was going to erupt. She had wanted this for so long...but not like this. Gasping for air between waves of tears, all sound in the room muted save for her own heavy breathing and her mother's voice.

"A...i...shi...te...ru....I...ki...tte..."*

And then her mother's eyes closed and her lips curled up into a smile. The beeping noise that had been deafening before was no more, replaced by a constant drone. Kurumi could feel it, the change in her mother's hand.

"Mother?" she whispered, giving the pale hand she held a squeeze. No response. Nothing. "Mother....mother....MOTHER?" Kurumi jumped to her feet and wildly turned around. "SOMEONE! PLEASE! HELP!"

*Aishiteru (愛してる) means "I love you" & Ikitte (生きって) means "please live"。


Next chapter shall be the last one for this story. Thank you all so much for reading and I really hope that I am doing this sort of situation justice.