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| | Ye Olde Home for the Olde Poem Finished poetry threads come here to rest and be remembered. | Vote for SS!
07-28-2003, 07:56 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Location: Earth ( most of the time ) Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 386
| Hey, everyone! I hope you like my poems. They're about the world through my eyes. Tell me what you think.
You look at me.
I look away.
I look down at my feet,
Appearing to be so far.
I feel the warm blood rise in my face.
Thinking so hard about being perfect,
My words string together,
My voice distant,
Unreal.
I look to your face.
You look down.
Why must we go through this torment,
Tearing,
Ripping us apart.
Icy cold runs through my body,
Erasing my mind of all around me.
I see you looking to your feet,
Feeling the pain I know.
I'm bleeding,
Pleading,
Screaming inside,
Though you don't hear a thing. |
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07-28-2003, 08:20 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| Here or not Bugbear
Location: Here Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 11,996
| That's really good.
From how I see the poem, I get how you feel. |
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07-28-2003, 08:53 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Location: I'm not sure,somewhere I guess Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 58
| This is good.You are very talented please write more. |
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07-29-2003, 04:36 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: MIDDLE TN Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 900
| Wow!! |
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07-29-2003, 07:59 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 941
| Great job! I hope you write more! Lol, must be better than mine, it got more reviews *winks* |
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07-29-2003, 09:05 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Location: Earth ( most of the time ) Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 386
| Thanks everyone! I'm really happy you liked it.
Through you,
All depression was lost.
Pain was forgotten.
I was no longer out of place.
The warmth of your arms.
Your sweet touch.
The way you made me laugh,
When I thought all joy was lost.
You were my strength in my time of weakness,
But now you are weak.
I need you,
But you need me more.
I know you do.
You are screaming with pain,
As I am screaming with lonliness.
You need to be held,
And I need to hold you. |
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07-29-2003, 09:45 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Location: I'm not sure,somewhere I guess Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 58
| This is good and I am like anti-love so if I like it,it must be good!  |
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08-01-2003, 04:04 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: MIDDLE TN Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 900
| Wow!! |
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08-02-2003, 05:26 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| Here or not Bugbear
Location: Here Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 11,996
| Great work!
It's really touching. |
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08-02-2003, 09:38 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Location: The olympics, 4 Figure Skating, 2010, move over Sarah Huges and Sasha Cowen Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 85
| *sitting looking at poem, mouth opening wider with each line* I can't belive that ur 14, well yes i can cause ur my best friend, but any way........WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good jod Firebolt!!! i give it a :up: |
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08-03-2003, 12:23 AM
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#11 (permalink)
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Location: I'm not sure,somewhere I guess Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 58
| Okay....I'm waiting.....  |
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08-03-2003, 05:10 AM
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#12 (permalink)
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Location: Earth ( most of the time ) Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 386
| he, he  Thanks!
What is it about you.
Why do I feel this pain,
Pulling me down into you,
Robbing me of my sanity,
Piercing the blood in my veins,
Tying up my voice,
Hoarse,
Weak,
Suffocating,
Drowning.
I ask myself,
Am I to always feel this way.
I am lost,
Denied,
Broken. |
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08-03-2003, 05:21 AM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: MIDDLE TN Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 900
| *Sits there with mouth wide open looking very stupid*
Wow!!! :o |
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08-03-2003, 04:19 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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Location: neverland Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 496
| i like ur poem it has a lot of emotion and it is very good |
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08-03-2003, 04:29 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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Location: USA Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,205
| yeah, u can tell everythin ur feeling, and i think its even just great of you to put so many of ur feelings out in the open good job  |
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08-04-2003, 11:38 PM
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#16 (permalink)
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Location: I'm not sure,somewhere I guess Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 58
| That is good.If you call I have some more poems I wrote last night. |
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08-08-2003, 10:17 PM
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#17 (permalink)
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Location: Earth ( most of the time ) Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 386
| :snowman: |
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08-09-2003, 12:34 AM
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#18 (permalink)
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Location: I'm not sure,somewhere I guess Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 58
| I compete too but I don't get that feeling.That was very good.By the way did you write that after Escondido or another one? |
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08-09-2003, 02:32 AM
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#19 (permalink)
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Location: Earth ( most of the time ) Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 386
| UGH, NO! I was talking about Disney Ice, you know, Glacial Falls? |
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08-19-2003, 05:54 PM
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#20 (permalink)
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Location: The olympics, 4 Figure Skating, 2010, move over Sarah Huges and Sasha Cowen Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 85
| and life and I know how mean u get when ur cold, this is u
"hey steph...."
"WHAT?!?!"
"I was just gonna say good luck"
"THANK U" *eye poping out of socket like the guy on Daria.
he eh, just teasing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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09-06-2003, 02:04 AM
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#21 (permalink)
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Location: Earth ( most of the time ) Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 386
| Poet's Block! |
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09-21-2003, 06:04 PM
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#22 (permalink)
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Location: New England Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 3,378
| Then I'll step in and do one for you. (artists help each other out. Look at Mozart and Whatshisname) I love your work, but I always write lighter stuff:
(enspired by the name of the post)
I fly through the air with the gratest of ease,
My hair gets messed up as it's tossed by the brease,
I'm admired and loved by all of my peers,
Potions master Snape is the least of my fears,
The guys envey and hate me and swear I will pay,
'Cause their loves I have stolen away!
P.S. tHis is a parody of that (old) poem "The man on the flying trapees" |
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10-03-2003, 12:46 AM
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#23 (permalink)
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Location: Earth ( most of the time ) Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 386
| Quote: Originally posted by Zymurgy@Sep 21 2003, 05:04 PM Then I'll step in and do one for you. (artists help each other out. Look at Mozart and Whatshisname) I love your work, but I always write lighter stuff:
(enspired by the name of the post)
I fly through the air with the gratest of ease,
My hair gets messed up as it's tossed by the brease,
I'm admired and loved by all of my peers,
Potions master Snape is the least of my fears,
The guys envey and hate me and swear I will pay,
'Cause their loves I have stolen away!
P.S. tHis is a parody of that (old) poem "The man on the flying trapees" | he, he, he! I think it's wonderful! Keep it up. You should start your own file of poems. I think you have real potential. :up: |
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