"Erm well," Marco ran a nervous hand through his hair, "I saw Josh with Agie. And Agie said something about not living without Josh." He found that quite easy to say, "And they were sort of consoling from what I caught. So I have a feeling he may be cheating on you."

Lyra went to open her mouth but nothing came out so she closed it. And then opened it, and began to giggle. "Umm...I do know that Agie and Josh are friends and have been for a while," she began as she really couldn't believe something like this. Agie was her friend...her best friend at that. And now another one she had to tell. Marco would make the second person...now that was a thought she never saw coming.

"And as far as Josh and I go, we are no longer together," she began as she stood up proud for a moment. "I broke up with him. Thought it might be the best so he could...have his freedom." She looked back to Christian and snickered lightly, still not believing the story but it was worth asking. "Seems someone is already on the prowl and he is accusing me of dating you? Umph! I would personally send an invitation to him letting him know if he is so interested."

Now she was beyond mad and the more she thought about things, the more angry she got. But in the back of her mind, the one thing that she kept telling herself was one thing. "I would never expect anything like this from Agie. She is my friend and would never do anything like that to me." She looked back to Marco and smiled.

"Umm, thanks Marco," she spoke as she began to twirl her hair. "I'm...sorry about my actions at school and I know that it took a lot for you to...ask to speak alone to me. I know I haven't been the sweetest thing to you." She giggled as she opened her mouth once more. "Thanks again."

She shook her head once more as he revealed another thing of Josh. "H-he wants to kill you?" she said with a sigh and rolled her eyes. What in the world had gotten into Josh lately? He was definitely not the same person she last saw at school and maybe it was a good thing. She knew he was not fond of Marco but there was no need in going around telling people you wanted to hurt them in some form or fashion. That just wasn't right.

"I don't hate you Marco," she began as she placed a hand on her hip. "I just was not fond of what happened between you and the Slytherin Prefect and that poor girl that went to crying over the whole scene. I just thought things could have been handled a little better, that's all." Yeah like talking to the girl and letting her know that you were engaged.

"At least now we can say that we had a civil conversation." She completely ignored the statement Marco made about her and Josh lasting forever. She believed the same once when Josh was nice and now he was just blowing things out of context...or at least that's what it was when he left the room.

"Well, I'm sorry about the nose breaking thing. I'm not one who likes to watch people fight. Never have and never will be." She was really never quite impressed with the whole thing in Fabian's office, from caged boys to nose breakings to....marriage arrangements. Her eyes flicked back to Christian and smiled. "Well, I thank you once again, Marco."

She still didn't know. Coming from the 'studmuffin' she could understand but not her best friend. Not Agie. "I need to go and see what Josh wants, although I'm quite ready to leave right now if you ask me but I still haven't seen Agie yet." She sighed as she pushed her hair behind her ears.

Christian smiled and nodded, "you go find out what's up. And then once you're done, let's blow this popsicle stand. Annoying Fabian'll be a much better enjoyment than this...sure, he threaten to feed me a chimaera, but at least we'll both get a laugh out of it." He chuckled and rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. "I'll be over here if you need me."

Lyra sighed as she looked up to Christian. Her smile was only partially formed. "I won't let him feed you to that thing...not yet at least." She forced a smile on her face and gave a nod of her head as she felt him rubbing her shoulders for comfort. This was the part she hated the most and she knew she should have left the first time Christian suggested on leaving but...she was not a coward by any means. She wanted to get to the bottom of whatever the heck was going on around here.

She slowly made her way over to where Josh was. Her smile was gone, the laughter had ceased. It was time to get serious. "I'm here," she spoke softly as her eyes couldn't look at him.

Josh had his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the counter. he heard her voice as he looked at her. Well seeing as she ignored him the time when she left with christian to talk to marco.. it hadnt gotten any better. " take a walk with me?" he asked her as he headed out of the house. He wasnt about to talk about anything with other people around. It was hard enough with just the two of them. he watched her as he then asked," what did marco want? If i can ask."

Lyra followed Josh out of the house and walked beside him with her arms crossed. This was not what she wanted to talk about and she was not starting the conversation with Marco of all people. "Marco just wanted to inform me on something he found strange." She didn't say another word and kept her eyes forward.

strange? who knew what that meant. he let it go as he walked a bit in silence as he watched her the whole time. she still wasnt looking at him. At least at hogwarts she would look at him. He hadnt done anything wrong. At least to his knowledge. Who knew with woman. they were so touchy. " Why wont you look at me?" he asked her as he stopped walking to face her completely.

And then there was the first thing. She tightly closed her eyes together as she placed her fingers on the bridge of her nose. Crying was not an option but she couldn't help it. The tears began to fall once more. "I don't know how to feel, how to act and then your sudden outburst earlier was totally uncalled for." She finally opened her green eyes to look at him.

Josh sighed inwardly when she started to cry. He wanted to pull her into his arms and let her do whatever she wanted."you think i know how to act around you. I only know how to act one way around you. The way we are suppose to act." he told her as his mind told him to reach out for her hand. the other part of his mind..more common sense told him that if he did that she would pull away. when she looked at him, well he almost wished she hadnt looked at him. he moved to push some of her hair away from her face as he let his hand linger there. " It wasnt uncalled for. What do you expect me to be like when your with some one else." he sighed as he looked down for a moment." you know i dont do well when your with him. Your always flirting with him and it makes me nervious. it drives my inside upside down. like im watching you pull away from me and closer to him. Even at hogwarts i felt that way. Why do you think i never liked it. I never bothered you two when you were together because i was afraid you'd let me go and go to him. You havent excatly helped the image any. Holding his hand and coming with him. I might as well of showed up with mia." he looked at her as he spoke to her. He knew this wasnt going to go over well...but she need to know how he felt.

"you did pick him first.Lyra your one of the few things that im afraid to lose the most. Its not easy feeling like your being replaced. Not to mention so quickly."

She felt his hand brush the hair from her face as she closed her eyes. Now she was completely confused as his attitude towards her had totally changed from earlier. She listened to his explanation of Christian and sighed as her head fell backwards. "Josh, how could Christian and I have anything going on? He is with Mallory. Dating Mallory? She was supposed to be here with us tonight but apparently couldn't make it," she began as she shook her head and sighed once more. "How am I supposed to treat someone that has made a point to come and see me every day since we left school knowing that I was upset?"

She threw her hands up in the air as she began talking with her hands. "If you showed up here with Mia it probably would have been easier to deal with than what Marco proceeded to tell me. At least I could deal with you flirting with Mia..." she paused as she really didn't want to bring this up. "Not only did I have to inform Christian tonight that we had broke up but I also had to tell..." she squinted her eyes together again when she said his name. "Marco. Do you know how bad that is?"

"Just because someone has a girlfriend doesnt mean that nothing can happen." he didnt want to make this sound bad, but whatever." He has more free time to spend with other people. that gives him time to make better relationships with people. When people pull away or go away it makes it worse." in his mind he could see that working against him, but it was lyra who pulled away first."I dont know." he told her honestly as he shrugged. being here with her made him miss her even more." i thought about owling you if it helps any...but i didnt think you would want me around. You broke up with me and that doesnt usually mean an invite to come bother someone. Not to mention how we left things off. Then the train. I didnt know if you wanted to see me. Or how to be."

"i hate to break it to you lyra, but you never really handled me flirting with anyone that well." he told her honestly.Better than others that was for sure." what did marco say?" he asked her now he was going to push the subject." why would me showing up with mia help what he said?" This was going to be interesting. he smiled at her as she squinted her eyes at having to say his name. a little part of lyra he knew. He missed it." I see we are still a fan of his." he teased lightly." im sorry. i havent really told anyone either. You were suppose to be gone by now to France. i would of helped if i knew."

Lyra's eyes widened at what Josh was telling her. "Well, you don't know him like I do, Josh. He is not one to cheat on anyone," she began as that was the one thing she could always count on Christian to do was the right thing. And then the wheels began turning in her head at what he was saying. "Oh so you would admit that spending time with other people would bring you closer in a relationship?" Hmm...that was a strange analogy, but it would put things together. Now she was jumping to conclusions...or was she?

"Josh, I broke up with you for two reasons," she began as her voice softened a bit. If there was anyone outside, she would run them off like a giant grizzly bear at the moment. "Number one, I didn't want to keep you tied down to me when I was miles away. You seemed like you weren't going to come and visit me anyway when you told me to basically have a nice life in Paris so I thought if you were going to be that way, then I didn't want to stand in your way.'' She had waited a long time to say that.

"And number two, I know what you have to do after this next year and it breaks my heart knowing that you have to do that and knowing that..." she paused as she looked away. Tears began to stream down her face once more. "I want you to be ready. I want you to win...whatever it is out there that you have to do, I wanted to know that you were fully prepared and not thinking of anything else...or anyone else for that matter. I wanted to keep you in one piece...and alive." She brought her hand up to wipe the tears from her face as that was one of the hardest things she had to say. "I love you and I will always love you, but I don't want to stand in your way when it comes to keeping you safe."

And so much for being sentimental. She knew that couldn't last very long. "Well, you are a fine one to be talking about the same thing. Isn't that the reason why you stormed out of the room, Josh? Because you thought I was flirting with Christian?" she asked as her eyes were now drying up. "I'm sorry that I didn't take off for France right after school. Maybe next time I will remember to do that...or better yet, just learn to keep my mouth shut." She sighed as she really didn't want to talk about the Marco thing because it was just silly anyway and so she avoided the question once more.

She wasnt getting his point."Nevermind." he told her as he added,"Too be honest i dont think mallory would like to see christian holding hands with you either." He was just gonna stop there. josh stood there looking at her for a moment...was that a trick question. It made sense to him." Yes. You spend more time with a person and you know them better. How do you explain what happened to us? Actually ours wasnt spending time together it was flirting with each other.. To my point about the flirting." nevermind.

"Just because your a million miles away doesnt mean i dont want you." she was only a few feet away and he wanted her." i explained that to you already." his voice became more soft as he spoke." i was upset that i was having to give you up. Let alone you went to everyone else first. I know you said that you didnt want to tell me because it was going to be the hardest, but thats not how i felt about it. If i was leaving i would want you to know first because you were the one i care for. I know it hurt us both, but you have to understand seeing you tell him first.. it didnt make me feel any better either. I was upset and everything came so fast and at once. Im not good at goodbyes in the first place." something he should obviously work on."goodbye means forever for me. Thats how it is in my life. Pretty much everyone has done it to me. You saying goodbye forever....isnt something i want to think about."

"I knew what my summer was going to be like and i wasnt sure if i was going to be able to make it. i might visit and i might not. I dont really know what my life is like right now. Its messed up if you ask me." rather predictable really. People he cared for came and went. That was the predictable part.he should just accept it and learn how to not love people. make everything easier.

he listened to her as she talked about her second reason. josh moved his hand to her face as he was about to wipe away her tears when she had beaten him to it. he listened to her as he wasnt sure what to say about it. In a way he was ...what was that word. Touched. Very few people did things like this for him."lyra..." he said looking at her as he paused. He really didnt know what to say."You wouldnt side track me. I would make time for what i needed to do and make time for you." the matter of the fact was that lyra's time would be the one that would be cut if anything had to be lost." if you were to stay it wouldnt be excatly the same but i could always study and if you wanted to you could be in the room with me. I know technically its not spending time with you, but it would be. you would be there."

he smiled at her." you are very distracting, but i would find a way to study.You'll never be a bad distraction. at least not one bad enough to where i wouldnt want you there." he told her as he smiled at her." You and agie are my reasons for being safe.you give me a reason to come back." he told her."your a reason to stay alive. Im a fighter, no matter what happens. I've made it this far and if im going down their is nothing that could help me. I've got good people on my side.they will do a good job. Im not saying its safe...its not, but its going to be okay." he told her as he caressed her cheek."Your not in my way beautiful." he looked at her as he moved to give her a hug. "If it helps any...i would of waited if you would of. i know it would be hard.its not like im going to be around much. here and there. Thats why its hard. I dont want to let you go, but i understand. i dont want to put you through something that is going to damage you in anyway. I just cant seem to make myself accept it. i dont want to let you go." he repeated the last part to her in a whisper.



"No. i didnt storm i walked out of the room. Storming would require me stomping around. Which i did nothing of the sort. I just left. Its not like enjoy seeing that. Why stay and watch something thats only going to hurt you?" he sighed as she yapped about flirting again." Lyra you dont see yourself when your around him." There was no use in fighting this.She would never understand it. she had not from the begining and still had not.He wanted her to understand this. He didnt mean to be this way, she was his friend. He was grateful to him for helping lyra through her life, but it still didnt stop the feeling he got." Lyra.." he sighed as he looked at her." when your with him i feel second best. I cant stay around and be second best. I love you to much to do that to myself again. call me selfish if you like." he took a moment before starting again."You shouldnt have to keep your mouth shut, just make up your mind." he told her as he added," dont tell me your going to france and then decide to stay for the summer..." he paused as he looked at her." Doesnt really matter now does it." he said letting it go.

Well, he was probably right about one thing, it wouldn't have looked good to Mallory if she saw them on the train but that was beside the point...or to her it was. He just didn't seem to grasp the fact that to her, Christian was very trustworthy. He was never one to harm anyone, unless it called for it of course, and he was honest in his friendship and in his relationships.

"I apologize for keeping you until the last and if I had it to do all over again," well, there was a statement she could of have kept to herself. "I would have done it differently, I guess. But, if I was going to tell you, then I wanted to spend time with you and telling you first meant that I couldn't spend time with you." Like it mattered any way. That night was the single worst night, or one of them at least. She couldn't believe the emotions that came along with the heartache and the pain. "And Christian was not the first one I told, he was the second. Agie was the first." And look what Agie did for her. She was there to hope on the train and leave to be with her. What a friend she was in doing that. There was not another person...well, one...that would have done that. She never asked her to do it, Agie just did it herself and she loved her for it.

"I told you I was not saying goodbye forever, Josh. I mean, you have family in France and you said yourself that you have a couple of cousins that go to Beauxbatons. It's not forever, or at least I didn't think it was." And then she took in a deep breath because she knew what had to happen. Her heart was breaking all over again. Why didn't she leave when Christian said to leave? To her, it would have been much easier.

Tears began to stream down her face once again. She was hurting on the inside knowing that her reasoning behind it was the truth. They had talked about it before, but before, she was going to finish school and then they could be together. But then things changed...people changed. She didn't understand.

He moved in to hug her as she wrapped her arms around him. There was the scent from his clothes again. A familiar scent that would forever stay with her. "At least knowing that Agie and I are the reason you try to keep yourself safe and come back is enough to ease my mind. Just always remember that I love you no matter what happens in this world. No matter what things come our way. I don't want to let you go either, but I think it is for the best of us both, Josh." She pulled away to look at him and his blue eyes. "It's not something that has to be forever. Remember what I told you in the Great Hall? If you love something, set it free. Only if it comes back to you, it was meant to be." There was a small bit of hope that he would be back, but that was something in the future and neither of them knew about the future and what it had in store for them.




Sigh! "Can we bring the bad stuff up first and leave the good stuff for the end?" she said as she pulled away from him. Her fingers ran through her hair as she sighed again. Everything seemed to go okay until this. Now they were right back to where they started again. "You know what? At this moment, this very moment, Christian has shown me more affection and more compassion than you have." Oh this was not good. She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath and concentrated on the words she was saying. She didn't want to say anything that would hurt, but at this point, her emotional state was hanging by a thread.

"All you have to do, or had to do was step in and take over. I wanted you to be there for me and all you had to do was just step up to the plate, Josh. But you didn't and he did, and to him, I am greatful. If it weren't for him, I would be a mess. I would have never left my room and God knows, I would have starved myself because the feeling of getting up every day just wasn't there for me, until he came over and dragged me out of bed and got me going every day." Only if Josh would have contacted her, she would have been better. "He has shown me that he cares." She shrugged her shoulders as she was being honest in her words. "It took Agie to push you to me and to get you to talk to me. That hurt."