Dear Dobby,

I see you like riddles and brainteasers. I have a few for you.

1.There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?

2. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. How did sloppy die?

Dear Dobby,

My job of taking care of the youngest witches and wizards in our community has taken a huge toal on my poor little back. For some reason, my boss has frowned upon me using a hovering charm to lift the little munckins. Just because I lost my concentration one day and almost dropped one of the kids. I mean honestly it wasn't my fault. One of the little stinkers had a temper tantrum and next thing I knew a plate was flying at my head while I held a child hovering in mid air. As I ducked I nearly dropped my wand and the child. It couldn't be helped. I'm usually a very responsible witch!!

Anyway, my question for you is how can I lift these kids and help my poor aching back without using magic??? Is this even possible or is it time to think about hexing my boss and finding a new job?

Dear Dobby,

Soo I was wondering... How do they make smelly markers smell? and while we are talking about smelling things how do they make scratch and sniff stickers smell? and why are they SO cool?

Thanks,
JadeyJade

Dobby says:
Dobby has never seen either of these, but maybe the green goat has a wee bit of the Irish in him and the llama likes to spit and it's fur makes nice clothes.So if you combined the two you would have a creature that had a temper, drank alot and spit while wearing nice clothes.....

Dobby says:

Actually, AuroraRissa, there is canned water. The muggle beverage company Anheuser-Bush makes canned water every year for hurrican victims. Also, La Croix makes canned water both plain and flavored. You can get some from Accent foods.

Dobby says:

1. Incorrectly!
2.Sloppy is a goldfish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him. Very sad! Dobby


Dobby says:
Poor Kerry! Dobby understands how working hard everyday can hurt your back. Lifting small witches and wizards can take their toll. Dobby thinks that you should wear a special lifting belt that has magnets in it. It will take some ofthe added weight off your back when you lift them. Plus, you wear it under your robes so know one will know... Dobby also thinks hexing your boss would be rather entertaining but, finding a new job is a pain in the tush! Dobby hopes your back feels well soon..

Dobby says:

How scratch and sniff is made - Background, History, Raw materials, The manufacturing process, Quality control
Go here and you shall see the complicated process in making scratch and sniffs. Smelly markers are made similarly but of course are made into writable instruments. Dobby can only say that these things you speak of are "cool" because so many people love them that they become popular.

Dear Dobby,

I see you like riddles, so I have one that I think will really stump you. What is a 9-letter word, that starts with "q" and has 5 consecutive vowels?

Hope you can help me,

Jess

Dobby says:
This one was very hard! But, Dobby thinks he has it... queueing. Did Dobby mention he loves to play the muggle game of scrabble?

Dobby says:
You are not wrong Grace, it would seem that children grow up much faster than previous generations. The world is becoming very fast paced and I think some think they must keep up with it and grow up as soon as possible. It is normal however, for preteen girls to have crushes or puppy love. So if your friend gushes over a boy or two, take it in stride. It's when she decides to act on those crushes at that young age where I would start to really worry. So just be her friend and look out for her.

Dear Dobby,

I have tons of questions that perhaps you can help me with! But I'll be nice and only ask a few that are burning a hole in my mind. And you know me... I need every bit of brain I can sacrifice!

1.) Which really came first? The chicken or the egg?

2.) Why do we park on a driveway but drive on a parkway?

3.) How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

4.) Why did the chicken really cross the road?

5.) Does condensed milk come from smaller cows?

6.) Why is a doctor's office called his practice and don't you find it scary that he practices medicine? Will he ever master it?

7.) We've all been scared 1/2 to death at one point. What happens if we were scared 1/2 to death a second time? Would that result in a person finally being scared to death? Are you scared answering this question?

8.) Do fish get thirsty?

9.) Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

10.) If you wear a sheet for halloween does that really make you a ghost or a mattress?


I think that's it for now Dobby. I'll pick your brain again at another time. Thanks for letting me get this off my mind. I feel much lighter now!

Dear Dobby,

Sometimes I think that others think I do too much in FCs. But lately, in one FC I belong to, someone's been trying to do my job. I snapped at them once, though I'm not sure if they saw it ... and I really, really don't want to be rude again ... but it's my job, you know? And I love doing it, even though I just recently got it. If it happens again, what should I do? I don't want to be mean.

Thanks so much!

-- Caitlin

To get away from the bassoon concert! Actually ... I shouldn't laugh at that, as I am a bassoonist, lmfao ...

Dobby says:

1. According to the Creator of chickens, and the author of the Record of their origins, chickens came first. It was on the Fifth Day of Creation Week that He created "every winged fowl after [their] kind" (Genesis 1:21) complete with the DNA to reproduce that kind. Then He "blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply" (v.22) using that DNA. For the chickens this meant lay chicken eggs. Problem solved. However, if you believe in evolution then, Evolutionary theory tells us that at some point, a non-chicken creature laid an egg which grew into a chicken. This means that the chicken-egg came first. Whether the chicken or the egg came first doesn't bear answering, it's not that sort of question. Rather, it's used as symbolic of the problem of resolving causal loops. The Creationist and Evolution responses refuse to accept the reality of the case by finding get-outs. That may be the way to go, and that there are no examples of the chicken-and-egg problem in real life.

2.Dobby doesn't know if this question can ever really be answered but, he thinks that the words drive and park were actually around before any vehical was invented. These two words were later adapted to refer to the motion or non-motion rather, of a vehical. Now, Dobby does know that a driveway is where one muggle would "drive" their vehical to get to their home. So even though they eventually "park" they had to "drive" to get there first. Now, a parkway, may refer to the early times of vehicals,when there used to be large parks with roads that led through them, hence a "parkway" or way to get through the park by driving.

3.Dobby loves these questions! Well, Dobby thinks that the amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the seasons and with the metabolisms of any individual woodchuck.It is said though, that an average amount of wood a woodchuck would chuck in a given day is 100 butt cords of wood. The median amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck in a given hour is 4.16 butt cords of wood.
Record high for woodchuck wood chucking of 221 butt cords
was attained on 6/15/1996.
(NOTE: the above tabulations take into account that woodchuks chuck no wood on February second, in observance of ground hog day.)

4.Dobby respectively refers to the cast of "Lost" to effectively answer this question...

Jack Sheppard: I don't know, maybe the chicken was just moving in that direction. Why does it have to mean anything that it crossed the road?

John Locke: The Island demanded that the chicken cross at that moment.

Sawyer: Why are you so interested in the damn chicken, Colonel Sanders? Tired of mangos?

Sayid, calmly: I know more about chickens and the use of them crossing roads than I care to remember. I don't know what is more disturbing. The fact that that chicken has crossed the road, or that it has only three toes.

Early Shannon: Ohmygod Boone, why should we care if the chicken crossed the road or not? It has nothing to do with us.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes: Dude, did you see a chicken come this way?


5. No. Condensed milk does not come from smaller cows. Condensed milk is milk reduced by evaporation, with sugar added. 1 can (14oz) = 1 quart whole milk plus 7oz of sugar.

6.Dobby thinks it all comes down to the definition of "practice" you refer to. In this case, "practice is referring to performing something habitually or repeatedly to carry out in action. Which a doctor does everyday to help people. The "practice" referred to in your question is more along the lines of performing (something) repeatedly in order to acquire or polish a skill.

7.Dobby is very scared to answer this question! Dobby thinks that some figures of speech arescary anyways....

8.Dobby likes Technically fish do not get thirsty because of the mechacondrial glands on the back of their upper cartilage. However, Marine fish need to "drink" water to keep in equilibrium with their surroundings.

9.Any highway built under the auspices of the Federal Aid Highway Act of 1956 and funded by the federal governent is called an interstate highway, even if it doesn't cross state lines. In fact, there are many local routes that lie entirely within a single state funded by the Act.
Hawaii has three interstates - H1, H2, and H3 - which connect important military facilities on the island of Oahu. Dobby did his research!

10.Dobby thinks that if you cut three holes in the sheet your a ghost and if you happen to be a bit rectangular and flat then you are a mattress!


Dobby says:

Well, if it happens again, Dobby thinks that maybe you should PM the person and let them know how you feel. If you don't talk it out then it will never be resolved. You are a very nice person so I think that the other person will understand, and might not even realize thay are stepping on your toes. Good luck!

Dobby says:

It is unfortunate that this girl has a problem with you being from Durmstrang, however, this can not be changed and she must learn to accept it if your friendship is to transpire into something else. Avoiding things that we find uncomfortable to think or talk about, can only makes the situation worse. So Dobby thinks that this matter should be discussed as soon as possible so that any and all issues can be resolved. Once this is done then you both can move on together and on to whatever type of relationship might come. Dobby wishes you luck!

ooc: of course!

Ahhh most wisest of House Elves! My brain has been churning again with more questions just yearning to be asked! Will you please help me in finding out these most perplexing answers?

1.) Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up for free anyway?

2.) Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?

3.) Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?

4.) Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?

5.) You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

6.) Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?

7.) If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?

8.) When the French swear do they say pardon my English?

9.) What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror?

10.) Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?

Dobby says:

1.)Well Dobby thinks that Sally was an enterprising young lady with a flair for business ideas, so she decided to capitolize on the growing trend of sea shell collecting. Many a lazy individual soon came to Sally to buy her wares at moderate prices. Sally now lives in a nice house in Malibu with 2 cats and a BMW in the driveway.

2.)Dobby has always found ducks to be overall, much more pleasant than chickens, as does the majority of the rest of the world.Therefore, ducks good, chickens bad.

3.)Because we never get paid enough and always seem to be overcharged when we pay out.

4.)So people can get a "taste" for what the sea is like..

5.)Hmmm... Well since the sign says nothing about not serving people without pants and once they sat down the table would hide their bits and pieces...so Yes!

6.)Because it scares them to sleep faster. If they were sung something nice they would want to stay up and listen.

7.)Dry-Cleaning...

8.)Actually the French usually just swear at the English!

9.)well the black cat walking under the ladder would cancel each other out. So that leaves the mirror.. Well since a cat has nine lives that means that at least 8 of those would still be lucky!

10.)This just in: Mickey Mouse is actually a direct result of nuclear testing that caused mice in Orlando and the surrounding area to become frightening large and converse in increasingly high pitched tones. Research is ongoing as there have also been incidents of ducks with speech impediments and dogs exhibiting a less than intelligent persona that one might say is just goofy.

Dobby says:

Dobby thinks that it is the reverse psychology theory where people will do the opposite of what they are told. When someone yells 'duck', because they are such pleasant animals, people want to look up to see the duck. Whereas when someone yells look out, then people seem to think that there is something out there that's scary and thus they duck down.

There are 10 hotdogs in a package, because the makes of the buns want you to buy more products. It's all a conspiracy to get you to purchase more so that you have equal numbers of each

It is called rush hour not because you're going fast, but because there is a mad rush of cars during that hour (or more) and they are all going to the same area.

Cats and dogs seem to think that it is cute for them to lick their privates, and it will make you want to snuggle with them. Perhaps they lick their privates before licking you as an appetizer

Dobby does not think the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about, because he does not think Hokey likes Pokey. However, he says that you can Dobby Pokey anytime you like

Twinkle twinkle and the alphabet song have the same melody to make it easier for little kids to learn their alphabets. The melody is actually an old French tune known to Mozart in the 18th century as Ah! Vous Dirai-je Maman.

Dobby says that you can fly beyond the rainbow; all you need is wings or a broomstick and an imagination.


Dobby looks forward to more questions from his avid fans.

Dear Dobby,

How do you make it stop raining? It has been raining here for several days and it's flooding really bad.