OK! Well, I got the idea for Dear Dobby when I noticed there were always members asking other members for advice in the chat threads of fan clubs, including ours. I loved how everyone offered their advice on how to help and thought how great it would be to have a thread like Dear Abby where members could get advice for their problems.

This is how it works, a member posts their problem or question like so: "Dear Dobby, (insert your problem or question here)", Dobby will post his advice and then you guys can either agree or disagree with the advice and even add to it if you like. You will know which post is Dobby's as it will start off, "Dobby says: ......"

It will be a great way to get to know everyone and hopefully help each other get through life a little easier!

Dobby is [IN]


-All SS rules apply
-NO bashing! DO NOT make any unfriendly remarks about someone's problem or the advice that is given! You have been warned!

*Clears throat*

Dear Dobby,

I've had these questions in my head that i don't have any answers to... I was hoping you could help me out.

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do penguins have knees?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
Who shuts the door when the bus driver gets off?

As you can tell these are very serious questions that need urgent answers. I hope you can help me out Dobby.

Dear Dobby,

Why won’t more people become active members of the awesome HEFC? Is there something we are doing wrong?

Thanks!

Dear Dobby,

I was wondering, why doesn't everyone on SS join HEFC?

Thankies

Dear Dobby,

I have some very important questions for you that need answering immediately. I hope you will be able to answer them for me.

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why - don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Thank you very much,

Hermi

Dobby says:
Ahem, Dobby will do his best to answer.

Glue does not stick to the glue bottle due to special polymers blended into the plastic that is used to form the bottle. Much like a non-stick pan.

Yes penguins have knees. Penguins appear to have very short legs and no knees because only the lower leg is externally visible. Their knees and upper legs are feather covered, hiding them from view. This also means that penguins never get cold knees!

Money does not grow on trees, however, since the old adage is used quite often I imagine somewhere along the way a clever indivual decided it to be the perfect satire to refer to a bank's multiple offices as branches.

Sheep do not shrink in the rain. They have a water repellent lanolin in their wool so during a regular rainstorm they have a naturally oc-curing water repellent coat. Shrinking, I believe, occurs in our clothes after we wash them in warm or hot water and then maybe even dry them in the dryer. So with the cold rain water and natural drying it's a lot like washing your sweater in cold water and Woolite and then laying it over a chair to dry... no shrinkage. I am assuming the person asking the question is referring only to the coat of a sheep shrinking since I have never heard of the living skin of an animal shrinking."

A bus driver, being quite clever only half closes the door when he or she leaves. As they emerge from the bus they pull on the door to close it. Another way would be for them to shut the door and leave by the emergency exit at the back of the bus.

Dobby hopes that he has been helpful.

Dobby says:

Dobby thinks that people just don't realize how awesome the HEFC is. Dobby thinks you are an excellant member and is doing everything right! Dobby thinks maybe if everyone who is a member had siggys or avvies saying how wonderful HEFC is, then maybe more people will come.

Dobby thanks you for your question.

Dobby says:

See above post!

Dear Jordan,

I agree with Dobby. The HEFC is awesome, but a lot of people don't realize just what all there is to appreciate about house elves! That's why we might just have a new competition coming up soon.

Dear Dobby,

I have a few questions (7 of them). I hope you can answer them.

1. Why is the sky blue? Why not orange? Orange is brighter!
2. How come House-Elves like yourself are put to work, when your the cutest thing on earth?
3. What is the best way to curse Draco Malfoy?
4. Why am I so clumsy?
5. I'm picked on because I'm so clumsy. I ignore the bullies who pick on me, but it doesn't seem to work. Should I A) run away screaming my head off, B) hex them with a jinks, C) give them socks, or D) do the tango with them?
6. Why is the earth a circle? Why not a sqaure? Squares are way more entertaining!
7. Can I have a sleep-over party with you and the other House-Elves in the kitchen? Pretty please? I'll have socks to share!

Miss Clumsy Canadian Monkey

Dobby says:
Abbreviated is such a long word so that we may all better appreciate the nice short abbreviation.

Doctor's call theirwhat they do a practice because thats what they are actually doing. They are practicing what they have learned over and over again.

It does seem weird that the sun bleaches our hair and darkens our skin. This mostly has to do with hair being dead and skin being alive.
The sun bleaches and destroys the melanin in your hair giving you lighter hair. Since hair is dead, the hair will stay that color until new hair comes in.
When sun shines on your skin, it destroys the melanin as well. But since your skin is alive, it can respond to the sun’s damage. Your skin cells make more melanin and your skin becomes darker.

A woman keeping her mouth open while she applies mascara is an involuntary automated response of concentration. Maybe the brain is concentrating so hard on applying the makeup that it forgets to hold the mouth closed.

Because psychics now that to keep silent will let them win more than once. If everyone knows they are a psychic and thats wht they won, then the psychic would be banned from playing at all.

Because the " little black box" is made of a much heavier grade of materials than used in making the actual plane. It would make the plane weigh too much and it would not be able to fly properly.

They are called apartments, because even though they are all stuck together, because apartments are units within a single structure. Similar to "compartments", they are used to house a single person or group of people.

Yes by the looks of things Congress is the opposite of progress!

They are called terminals because they are referring to the definition meaning the end of or end of extremity. The terminals at an airport are at the very ends of the overall structure. Thus called terminals.

Dobby needs a nap after those questions..

Dear Dobby,

I need to know the answer to this question or I might die.

Why is Jeopardy SO much better than Wheel of Fortune?

Thanks a TON,
Jade

Wow thanks soo much for that Dobby *bows down to you*

I have a problem this time...


Well there is a guy, who has an on and off again girlfriend. But i know he likes me and i really like him. He says im his best friend, and he loves me with all his heart, and also says im too good for him.... what do i do?

Dear Dobby,

My House elf, Sally, has a huge crush on you, but she's only eight years old. What do I say to her to let her know that she isn't old enough for a boyfriend without hurting her feelings?

Dear Dobby,
Here in the US, English is a hard language to read. can you please explain why these following words are the way they are?
T-O-M-B, C-O-M-B, B-O-M-B (They dont rhyme, But are spelled the same)
C-O-M-B, H-O-M-E (They Rhyme but are not spelled the same?)
S-O-M-E, H-O-M-E (Again, they are spelled the same but do not rhyme)

WHY OH WHY does this happen? Please help me Dobby!!

Dear Dobby

I have this friend who is trying to steal my precious House Elf from me no matter how hard I try to stop her. My House Elf is irate now, she won't sleep, won't eat and refuses to have a vacation even though she's been wanting one for months. Is there anything I can do to help her?

Thanks,

Dobby says:

The sky is blue and not orange because, well, the first thing to recognize is that the sun is an extremely bright source of light -- much brighter than the moon. The second thing to recognize is that the atoms of nitrogen and oxygen in the atmosphere have an effect on the sunlight that passes through them.
There is a physical phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering that causes light to scatter when it passes through particles that have a diameter one-tenth that of the wavelength (color) of the light. Sunlight is made up of all different colors of light, but because of the elements in the atmosphere the color blue is scattered much more efficiently than the other colors.
So when you look at the sky on a clear day, you can see the sun as a bright disk. The blueness you see everywhere else is all of the atoms in the atmosphere scattering blue light toward you. (Because red light, yellow light, green light and the other colors aren't scattered nearly as well, you see the sky as blue.)

Dobby at being called cute. We, as house elves, love to do work and want to do work so we don't feel as if we are put to do anything we are not most eager already to do.

The best way to curse Draco Malfoy is to hex him with something that affects his looks. Vain that one.

Maybe you are so clumsy because like me you have inherited the clutzoid gene. If there is a wall your going to walk into it, a chair, your falling off it,a rug, your tripping over it etc. Good luck with that!

Well, when you are being picked on and I had to choose one of your choices...running away screaming is counter productive...hexing is waaayyy to easy...giving them socks is too nice, so.... do the Tango with them! And maybe then you will get them so dizzy they have their own clutz attack when you are done!

The earth is round due to gravity. Gravity pulls with equal strength in all
directions; therefore any variations from a spherical
shape will lead to gravitational forces that
bring the shape back into that of a sphere.
This is without considering the rotation of the earth,
however. The rotation of the earth adds centrifugal
effects, which cause the earth to bulge slightly at
its equator and flatten slightly at its poles.
(This is like twirling a rock on the end of a string
and then letting go--the rock flies away from the
twirler.) Because of these centrifugal effects, the
distance from the center of the earth to the surface
of the earth is about 0.33% shorter at the poles
compared to the equator.
If the earth was a cube then some points on its surface would be farther away from the center than others. The corners, for example, would be much farther out than the rest. Since gravity works equally on everything, there would be a tendency to pull those uneven places down. The surface would even itself out.

Dobby would love a sleep over! Yay socks!

Dobby says:
Jeopardy is much better than Wheel of Fortune because we, as intellectuals, find the challenging material to be far more entertaining.

Dobby says:
This boy obviously has a committment problem already if he is on and off again with his girlfriend. You must decide if you feel you would be able to condone a relationship where he would be able to put you off and on. If he says you are his best friend, then you would be chancing ruining that friendship if something were to go wrong with you romantically.Is that something you are willing to lose? Sometimes, things will work themselves out over time. You must be patient and most importantly, stay true to yourself. Do not settle for less than you deserve. And that is not being selfish, it is being smart. Good luck!

Dobby says:
Well, first off let Sally know that she is special and a beautiful elf, but she needs time to figure out what love is and she will , but, when she is older and wiser. She has plenty of time to do this. Don't rush through life, sit back and enjoy every second. You only get to live it once.

Dobby says:
The main reason is that English has 1,100 different ways to spell its 44 separate sounds, more than any other language. This situation exists because English has adopted words from many other languages, or at least has partially adopted them. Very often, English has accepted the new words with their original spellings, but has not always adopted the original pronunciations, or pronunciations were changed by common habit or political expediency, but the original spellings were never changed to match the new pronunciations.

Dobby says:
Your elf sounds like she is suffering from a form of traumatic stress. She needs to maybe find a therepy group to help sort out her feelings. You need to be supportive and loving.(which I know you to be already) Maybe go on vacation with her. Let her feel like it's something the family is doing. she will feel less alone and in turn less afraid. If she continues to refuse to eat and has trouble sleeping I would take her to St Mungos and have her checked out so she doesn't get sick.

Dobby wishes her well.

Dear Dobby,

My RPG School charrie, Molly, is seriously depressed that her first year at Hogwarts is over. She is excited that she gets to spend the summer with her friends, but she doesn’t know how she is going to manage not using magic until her second year starts. What do you suggest she do to keep her mind off magic?

Also, I have always wondered which way you should do this...

Siggie or Siggy
Avvie or Avvy

It's never the same.

Thanks!!

Dobby says:
Though Molly can't practice magic, she can still study it. So have Molly get her books for next term early and she can study all summer. Not only will she get to still have magic in her life but, she will be ready for all her classes by next term! This way she won't have to be without magic at all.
Siggie vs siggy and avvie vs avvy .. pish posh you say tomahto I say tomayto, either way whatever you choose! There is no wrong way.

Dear Dobby,

What are your remedies for tierdness? I've played many games of basketball and I am frankly worn out afterwards. Is there anything I can do?

Thankies!
Obi Wan K'Lari (Wildmutt)

Dear Dobby,

I have a friend who has really bad allergies. No matter what, her nose just won't stop dripping and she says it itches. It really bothers her, and she wants to know what your remedies are for allergies?

Thanks,
Hermi


OOC: This is hilarious! great work and keep it up!

ooc.... I love this!!


ic... Dear Dobby,
My kids' last day of school for the summer holidays is tomorrow. Any ideas to keep them amused this summer? Both are boys. One is 7 and the other is 12.
It is going to be a long summer.

Dobby says:
Sleep! But, if you need something to help a little more, try these easy steps to help you feel more energized and less tired.
1. Improve your sleep
Go to bed and get up in the morning at the same time every day, no matter how you feel.
Make sure your bedroom is comfortable: not too hot, not too cold, and not too noisy.
Don't eat or drink a lot late at night. Try to have your evening meal early rather than late.
Try to gradually reduce the time you spend 'napping' during the day.
If you can't sleep, don't lie there worrying about it: get up, leave the bedroom and do something you find relaxing. When you feel tired enough, go back to bed.
Pick a way to relax before going to bed - such as reading, listening to music or using a relaxation technique.
Have a hot bath before bed. This should be as hot as you can bear and last a good twenty minutes.
If something is troubling you, and there is nothing you can do about it there and then, try writing it down on a piece of paper. Tell yourself you will deal with it in the morning, and then go to bed.
Try and cut out too much caffiene.
If none of this works, go and see your doctor.
Or Dobby can follow you around and everytime you start to feel tired Dobby will you!

Dobby says:
If conventional over the counter medicines don't do the trick, then try some natural herbal remedies in the form of vitamins or even tea.
Herbs such as Rose hips, Licorice and Eyebright have anti-inflammatory effects and moderate the production of histamine. These herbs can provide quick relief from allergy symptoms.
Other herbs, such as Red clover, Nettles, Burdock and Dandelion help to purify the blood. These herbs, when used over time, help to eliminate the underlying cause of inflammation so that allergy symptoms do not occur.
However, one should always see their doctor first before trying anything so as not to have any adverse reactions.

Dobby says:
Good luck! Well, Dobby would make sure to have plenty of DVDs, video games, and board games around for rainy days where they are stuck inside. However, if the weather is nice and depending on where you live, make them play outside! They will get excersise and be out in the fresh air. Both very good for them. Another idea, is to have family days every week where everyone does something together. Movies, park, swimming, etc. Camps are always fun for the kids and they are out of your hair and happy. Maybe start a project that will last the whole summer and keep them engrossed and entertained. Even though they will probally drive you up the wall most days, enjoy every minute of it. Before you know it they will be grown up and off on their own.

Yes this is very fun! Although I must say you guys are keeping me on my toes. OK Ready for more! Bring it on!