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Go Back   SnitchSeeker.com > Forums > SnitchSeeker RPG > SnitchSeeker RPG Archives > Hogwarts Archive > Headmaster: Malachi Trent's Reign > Term 53: September - December 2019

Term 53: September - December 2019 Term Fifty-Three: (Sept 2099 - June 2100)

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Old 08-15-2019, 04:59 AM
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Default Office of Professor Schmoe

If one were to walk a few paces to the right of the class bulletin board, they'd find a completely repurposed broom closet which now serves as home to Professor Schmoe's Office. Once you've been welcomed in, you'll notice two things. First, the ceiling. It is LOW, you may need to watch your head. So, y'know, it may be wise to duck. Second, the closet office is quite stuffy.... And damp.

Look, Schmoe doesn't love it either, but it's what we've got.

Your professor has managed to fit a small wooden desk at one end of the closet office, on top of which there is always a mess of books, papers, a framed photo of Alina, and random muggle gadgets 'n gizmos. Puzzles! Rubik cubes! Fidget spinners! It's all there (even if the mess prohibits you from seeing it). Next to the door are two small, fold-out chairs. And on the wall there is a single, moving cat-clock, whose ticking echoes quite loudly in the small space.

If you'd fancy a chat, just knock on the door!
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Old 09-17-2019, 08:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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After class ended, and she had a chance to eat a cookie so she'd be in a slightly better mood, Bernadette approached the Muggle Studies professor's ....er, office door. Honestly, it just looked a bit like a random broom closet, but who was she to judge how the French stored their Muggle "Studies" Professors.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

She stood back from knocking loudly on the door and WAITED, arms crossed, for this MAN to ANSWER.
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Old 09-18-2019, 04:47 AM   #3 (permalink)
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After class ended, and she had a chance to eat a cookie so she'd be in a slightly better mood, Bernadette approached the Muggle Studies professor's ....er, office door. Honestly, it just looked a bit like a random broom closet, but who was she to judge how the French stored their Muggle "Studies" Professors.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

She stood back from knocking loudly on the door and WAITED, arms crossed, for this MAN to ANSWER.
Finneas was hunched over at his desk, trying to organize all of the NEW things he had to keep in piles on top of it. All of the catalogues from the lesson were slipping and sliding off the already-crowded desk, the giant post-its hardly even fit underneath, and there was also a horrible, horrible problem much worse than everything else: he couldn't find his fidget spinner!!!

It was in this chaos when he heard the knock, knock, knock on the door and lifted his head, promptly letting go of his hold on the catalogues and causing a huge avalanche of ikea magazines off his desk. "Errrrrrrr, come in," he called out with some hesitance.

If this was the Beauxbatons Headmistress, he was really screwed.
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Old 09-18-2019, 09:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ArianaBlack View Post
Finneas was hunched over at his desk, trying to organize all of the NEW things he had to keep in piles on top of it. All of the catalogues from the lesson were slipping and sliding off the already-crowded desk, the giant post-its hardly even fit underneath, and there was also a horrible, horrible problem much worse than everything else: he couldn't find his fidget spinner!!!

It was in this chaos when he heard the knock, knock, knock on the door and lifted his head, promptly letting go of his hold on the catalogues and causing a huge avalanche of ikea magazines off his desk. "Errrrrrrr, come in," he called out with some hesitance.

If this was the Beauxbatons Headmistress, he was really screwed.
Oh hmm, the door had been unlocked the whole time. Well excuse Bernadette for having MANNERS today. She turned the knob to the door and walked in, taken aback by the, uh, cramped-ness of the space and the clutter of all the THINGS from their class. PILES of THINGS, eh? This one wasn't really the organized typed, she KNEW IT from the START.

"Interesting place you have here," Bernie announced somewhat stiffly, pretending to be snobbish and posh as she entered into the closet space and was almost immediately forced to take a seat on a folding chair. She frowned at the chair, as it faintly reminded her of a cheap Muggle festival or wedding, but sat anyway and pulled out her spiral-bound notebook. Yes yes, she too had Muggle relics amongst her things. She hadn't learned how to charm a quill yet and was faster at writing with Muggle pencils than quill and parchment. And this activity DEFINITELY required speed and deftness.

So here she was, prepared to interview the professor about his qualifications. "Can I ask you a few questions," the first-year stated rather than asked, staring down the professor with the same suspicious intensity she had applied in class. She had worn her fake glasses today and her cleanest, most new-looking school uniform sweater, tie, and skirt. "My name is Bernadette O. Grantham, and I am a Muggle expert. I need to verify your qualifications for teaching my peers and myself." And that was ALL the explanation he was going to GET.
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Old 09-20-2019, 12:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Oh hmm, the door had been unlocked the whole time. Well excuse Bernadette for having MANNERS today. She turned the knob to the door and walked in, taken aback by the, uh, cramped-ness of the space and the clutter of all the THINGS from their class. PILES of THINGS, eh? This one wasn't really the organized typed, she KNEW IT from the START.

"Interesting place you have here," Bernie announced somewhat stiffly, pretending to be snobbish and posh as she entered into the closet space and was almost immediately forced to take a seat on a folding chair. She frowned at the chair, as it faintly reminded her of a cheap Muggle festival or wedding, but sat anyway and pulled out her spiral-bound notebook. Yes yes, she too had Muggle relics amongst her things. She hadn't learned how to charm a quill yet and was faster at writing with Muggle pencils than quill and parchment. And this activity DEFINITELY required speed and deftness.

So here she was, prepared to interview the professor about his qualifications. "Can I ask you a few questions," the first-year stated rather than asked, staring down the professor with the same suspicious intensity she had applied in class. She had worn her fake glasses today and her cleanest, most new-looking school uniform sweater, tie, and skirt. "My name is Bernadette O. Grantham, and I am a Muggle expert. I need to verify your qualifications for teaching my peers and myself." And that was ALL the explanation he was going to GET.
His office, if it could really be referred to as such a thing, was in no condition for visitors. Well, to be fair, it hadn't ever been in the condition for visitors. There was really only so much that could be done with a space as... er.... confined as this. It wasn't the WORST thing that could happen. But yeah, it was pretty bad. Finneas tried his best to salvage what remained of the catalogue pile on his desk as young Bernadette made her way inside. And by made her way inside, what I really mean is that she took three steps inside. Because really, that's as many steps as could be taken. Unless you were a houseelf, in which case... Maybe six.

Her comment elicited a strange sort of uncomfortable Schmoe-branded laugh. "Ha, ha, ha," just like that, but six times. "Yes." He blinked a few times, knowing very well that he ought to keep his comments on the matter neutral. Wouldn't want to give the Headmistress ANOTHER reason to hate every single thing about him!

Surprisingly? (Or maybe unsurprisingly)? (Yeah, unsurprisingly). UNSURPRISINGLY, Finneas hadn't received any student visitors yet and wasn't entirely sure how these drop-in hours were meant to go. He assumed that it was his turn to ask what he could help her with, but she had beat him to the punch! Oh ho ho ho har har har. Anyway, anyway, anyway.

"Of course," he gave her an awkward sort of grin. Verify? Qualifications? ........... "...............O-Okay," was she.......... sent here by the Headmaster......... or something? Because........ he had.............. already....... signed his yearly contract?
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Old 09-20-2019, 02:15 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ArianaBlack View Post
His office, if it could really be referred to as such a thing, was in no condition for visitors. Well, to be fair, it hadn't ever been in the condition for visitors. There was really only so much that could be done with a space as... er.... confined as this. It wasn't the WORST thing that could happen. But yeah, it was pretty bad. Finneas tried his best to salvage what remained of the catalogue pile on his desk as young Bernadette made her way inside. And by made her way inside, what I really mean is that she took three steps inside. Because really, that's as many steps as could be taken. Unless you were a houseelf, in which case... Maybe six.

Her comment elicited a strange sort of uncomfortable Schmoe-branded laugh. "Ha, ha, ha," just like that, but six times. "Yes." He blinked a few times, knowing very well that he ought to keep his comments on the matter neutral. Wouldn't want to give the Headmistress ANOTHER reason to hate every single thing about him!

Surprisingly? (Or maybe unsurprisingly)? (Yeah, unsurprisingly). UNSURPRISINGLY, Finneas hadn't received any student visitors yet and wasn't entirely sure how these drop-in hours were meant to go. He assumed that it was his turn to ask what he could help her with, but she had beat him to the punch! Oh ho ho ho har har har. Anyway, anyway, anyway.

"Of course," he gave her an awkward sort of grin. Verify? Qualifications? ........... "...............O-Okay," was she.......... sent here by the Headmaster......... or something? Because........ he had.............. already....... signed his yearly contract?
Was this guy really a professor, or was he just an actual Muggle the Headprofessor had taken in as a charity case? Bernadette wasn't sure he was even a wizard, first of all, and second of all, she knew full well what charity looked like because she had volunteered to visit old folks back in her Guides days. She added that question to her list just as he began to laugh like a malfunctioning robot. And then he SMILED at her. WHY? Bernie was half-expecting to be blinded by braces, since the professor looked so young. No no no. He needed to put that suspicious smile away. Bernadette's deep frown should have told him as much.

She cleared her throat without further ado and began with her first question. "Tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?"
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Old 09-22-2019, 04:26 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Was this guy really a professor, or was he just an actual Muggle the Headprofessor had taken in as a charity case? Bernadette wasn't sure he was even a wizard, first of all, and second of all, she knew full well what charity looked like because she had volunteered to visit old folks back in her Guides days. She added that question to her list just as he began to laugh like a malfunctioning robot. And then he SMILED at her. WHY? Bernie was half-expecting to be blinded by braces, since the professor looked so young. No no no. He needed to put that suspicious smile away. Bernadette's deep frown should have told him as much.

She cleared her throat without further ado and began with her first question. "Tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?"
Finneas shifted uncomfortably in his chair, causing another small avalanche of papers to fall off of his desk. To be fair, he did try to save them by throwing his arms over the disaster. Though... it ended up looking more like he was trying to hug his desk and less like he was embarking on a rescue mission. Alas. Anyway, anyway. Still hunched over, arms hugging the desk (and paper avalanche), he looked up at Bernadette with that same awkward smile. He was anticipating a question that he could answer with his YEARS of background knowledge. Despite what it looked like, he was an academic.

"Oh," he found himself surprised. "Excellent question." Though he wasn't entirely sure that it was. "Well, uh, the rubber duck has, er, stumped academics for hundreds of years..." he began, his arms still extended and back still hunched. "There are a few trains of thought..." He blinked a few several times. "Some say they are made for children, others believe the rubber ducky, errr, makes bath time lots of fun!" There was a song about that. He remembered.

"But," he whispered, leaning in as if sharing a secret. His eyes were on a spot just past her ear. "I believe they are a symbol of comfort."
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Old 09-23-2019, 01:09 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Finneas shifted uncomfortably in his chair, causing another small avalanche of papers to fall off of his desk. To be fair, he did try to save them by throwing his arms over the disaster. Though... it ended up looking more like he was trying to hug his desk and less like he was embarking on a rescue mission. Alas. Anyway, anyway. Still hunched over, arms hugging the desk (and paper avalanche), he looked up at Bernadette with that same awkward smile. He was anticipating a question that he could answer with his YEARS of background knowledge. Despite what it looked like, he was an academic.

"Oh," he found himself surprised. "Excellent question." Though he wasn't entirely sure that it was. "Well, uh, the rubber duck has, er, stumped academics for hundreds of years..." he began, his arms still extended and back still hunched. "There are a few trains of thought..." He blinked a few several times. "Some say they are made for children, others believe the rubber ducky, errr, makes bath time lots of fun!" There was a song about that. He remembered.

"But," he whispered, leaning in as if sharing a secret. His eyes were on a spot just past her ear. "I believe they are a symbol of comfort."
Heavens, the professor needed to hire a maid or an assistant to straighten and organize all these papers for him! That, or, um, he was perhaps very close to his desk? She had heard of people who fell in love with objects, and he was still SMILING suspiciously...

But, alas, the duck.

She scribbled something down as he began talking, her face revealing nought about her thoughts on his answer. "And why would they be a symbol of comfort?" She asked sharply, finally looking up from her desk. "Why would Muggles in particular be interested in rubber ducks, as opposed to wizards?" Did wizards NOT have rubber ducks? She just now thought of that question, and wondered how sad and terrible her classmates' upbringings must have been without fun bathtime toys.
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Old 09-25-2019, 03:08 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Heavens, the professor needed to hire a maid or an assistant to straighten and organize all these papers for him! That, or, um, he was perhaps very close to his desk? She had heard of people who fell in love with objects, and he was still SMILING suspiciously...

But, alas, the duck.

She scribbled something down as he began talking, her face revealing nought about her thoughts on his answer. "And why would they be a symbol of comfort?" She asked sharply, finally looking up from her desk. "Why would Muggles in particular be interested in rubber ducks, as opposed to wizards?" Did wizards NOT have rubber ducks? She just now thought of that question, and wondered how sad and terrible her classmates' upbringings must have been without fun bathtime toys.
Look, it wasn't always this messy, okay? Quite the opposite! In fact, Finneas was a rather organized man. Kind of. Okay, okay so his things were typically just as scatted as his mind, but in his defense it wasn't normally THIS bad. THIS was just a horrible consequence of having to share a castle and having very limited opportunity for free space.

But he was making it work (hardly!). What a trooper, truly. Speaking of which, he was really hanging in there. Didn't dare let go of his hold around the desk, as any wrong move and there would be another catastrophic avalanche of paperwork. Such! A! Trooper!!!

"WELL," it was another good question, he had to admit. "For many reasons, er, typically the rubber duck is introduced to the muggle at a young age. The formative years, if you will." His eyes looked at a spot just above her right ear as he explained. "It wouldn't be surprising if a sense of childhood nostalgia was involved or if a sense of dependency was built or if the rubber duck became... a friend." He smiled uncomfortably from his hunched over position.

"I guess the fondness towards rubber ducks could potentially extend to wizards too," he mused. "But they are far more relevant in muggle pop culture, just one of those things that never made it's way across the pond," HAHAHA GET IT? That was a pun. Finneas looked at her expectantly waiting for the joke to make her laugh. Yes.
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Old 09-25-2019, 11:31 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Look, it wasn't always this messy, okay? Quite the opposite! In fact, Finneas was a rather organized man. Kind of. Okay, okay so his things were typically just as scatted as his mind, but in his defense it wasn't normally THIS bad. THIS was just a horrible consequence of having to share a castle and having very limited opportunity for free space.

But he was making it work (hardly!). What a trooper, truly. Speaking of which, he was really hanging in there. Didn't dare let go of his hold around the desk, as any wrong move and there would be another catastrophic avalanche of paperwork. Such! A! Trooper!!!

"WELL," it was another good question, he had to admit. "For many reasons, er, typically the rubber duck is introduced to the muggle at a young age. The formative years, if you will." His eyes looked at a spot just above her right ear as he explained. "It wouldn't be surprising if a sense of childhood nostalgia was involved or if a sense of dependency was built or if the rubber duck became... a friend." He smiled uncomfortably from his hunched over position.

"I guess the fondness towards rubber ducks could potentially extend to wizards too," he mused. "But they are far more relevant in muggle pop culture, just one of those things that never made it's way across the pond," HAHAHA GET IT? That was a pun. Finneas looked at her expectantly waiting for the joke to make her laugh. Yes.
Perhaps there had been an earthquake, one of those small, insignificant geological tremors that Bernadette hadn't felt, but which "Professor" Schmore had? And thus, he'd felt the need to continue to hug his desk, lest it all fall apart right now? He was such. an. oddball. What a wonder, truly. He was literally hanging on to the desk. Such! a! weirdo wonder!!! She had to blink several times in a row at him little did she know the man's oddness was contagious just to force her thoughts to focus on rubber ducks and not on the potential awesome catastrophe that would befall this room should a more severe earthquake occur.

Anyway. ANYWAY. AnYwAy.

She was a bit placated by his response. It did ring true, and sounded QUITE academic for such a... curious person. She hadn't actually been expecting a decent answer from Schmoe, and might have nodded along at his response. Bernadette might have even cracked the faintest of smiles at the professor's pun, but she quickly looked down at her notes again and cleared her throat, as though clearing away all signs of amusement. It also signaled that she was moving on to a new line of questioning. So he'd passed the object test, big deal. That was the SMALLEST of the TESTS.

"What is Muggle primary and secondary school like, and how does it differ from the wizard education system?"

All REAL "professors" would know this one.
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Old 09-28-2019, 07:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Perhaps there had been an earthquake, one of those small, insignificant geological tremors that Bernadette hadn't felt, but which "Professor" Schmore had? And thus, he'd felt the need to continue to hug his desk, lest it all fall apart right now? He was such. an. oddball. What a wonder, truly. He was literally hanging on to the desk. Such! a! weirdo wonder!!! She had to blink several times in a row at him little did she know the man's oddness was contagious just to force her thoughts to focus on rubber ducks and not on the potential awesome catastrophe that would befall this room should a more severe earthquake occur.

Anyway. ANYWAY. AnYwAy.

She was a bit placated by his response. It did ring true, and sounded QUITE academic for such a... curious person. She hadn't actually been expecting a decent answer from Schmoe, and might have nodded along at his response. Bernadette might have even cracked the faintest of smiles at the professor's pun, but she quickly looked down at her notes again and cleared her throat, as though clearing away all signs of amusement. It also signaled that she was moving on to a new line of questioning. So he'd passed the object test, big deal. That was the SMALLEST of the TESTS.

"What is Muggle primary and secondary school like, and how does it differ from the wizard education system?"

All REAL "professors" would know this one.
The more she blinked, the more he blinked. Truly a conundrum. It was all happening, subconsciously of course. It was one of his nervous ticks. Ho, ho, ho. Don't mind the Schmoe! Arms still outstretched, and body still crouched over the desk, Professor Schmoe had absolutely no idea that Bernadette was doing so much analyzation. This was going exceptionally well, in his own opinion. Though he didn't know how much longer he could sit like this... His back was starting to ache. He wasn't as flexible as he used to be, y'know. He would surely regret this tomorrow morning.

He was disappointment in the lack of true response to his joke, though he was still wearing a grin anyway. At least he made HIMSELF laugh. Ho, ho, ho. Ha, ha, ha. Anyway (anyway, anyway). But he quickly recovered, just in time for another question too. "WELL," he began again. Blink a few times. Twitch of the head. Normal! Finneas! Things! "That depends upon which elements you would like to focus on... From a far-removed perspective, it is-er-clear that there are differences in subject material... Astronomy, History of Magic, Muggle Studies, Potions... Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera," he waved one of his hands before very quickly realizing the mistake and throwing it right back down to the desk.

Precautionary.

You could never be too safe from an impending paperwork avalanche!

Where was he? OH YES.

School. "The primary and secondary systems are otherwise, similar in terms of age range, though-uh state boarding schools are not as er common," that was a PRETTY big difference. "Muggle schools also take far more pride in their sports, I find... We, uh, just focus on Quidditch. And Gobstones!" Which was a sport in his own opinion. AND CHESS. Chess was a sport of the MIND. The greatest muscle of them all.
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Old 09-29-2019, 10:04 PM   #12 (permalink)
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The more she blinked, the more he blinked. Truly a conundrum. It was all happening, subconsciously of course. It was one of his nervous ticks. Ho, ho, ho. Don't mind the Schmoe! Arms still outstretched, and body still crouched over the desk, Professor Schmoe had absolutely no idea that Bernadette was doing so much analyzation. This was going exceptionally well, in his own opinion. Though he didn't know how much longer he could sit like this... His back was starting to ache. He wasn't as flexible as he used to be, y'know. He would surely regret this tomorrow morning.

He was disappointment in the lack of true response to his joke, though he was still wearing a grin anyway. At least he made HIMSELF laugh. Ho, ho, ho. Ha, ha, ha. Anyway (anyway, anyway). But he quickly recovered, just in time for another question too. "WELL," he began again. Blink a few times. Twitch of the head. Normal! Finneas! Things! "That depends upon which elements you would like to focus on... From a far-removed perspective, it is-er-clear that there are differences in subject material... Astronomy, History of Magic, Muggle Studies, Potions... Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera," he waved one of his hands before very quickly realizing the mistake and throwing it right back down to the desk.

Precautionary.

You could never be too safe from an impending paperwork avalanche!

Where was he? OH YES.

School. "The primary and secondary systems are otherwise, similar in terms of age range, though-uh state boarding schools are not as er common," that was a PRETTY big difference. "Muggle schools also take far more pride in their sports, I find... We, uh, just focus on Quidditch. And Gobstones!" Which was a sport in his own opinion. AND CHESS. Chess was a sport of the MIND. The greatest muscle of them all.
All this blinking reminded Bernadette of that Doctor Who episode with the Weeping Angels, and the thought of those horrible creatures possibly being real suddenly cured her of the blinking. Don't blink. Schmoe could have an angel statue in his office right now! He would be daft enough to do that. And knowing the wizarding world so far, Weeping Angels TOTALLY WOULD be a real threat here.

More! Blinking! And! Twitching! "Do you have Tourettes, sir?" Bernadette blurted out, then quickly put her hand over her mouth. Oh no, how rude! But DID HE? He certainly met the symptoms she'd read about when her one Muggle classmate kept cursing, which was allegedly due to this disease and not to the fact that he was a brat....

She hurriedly jotted down his answers, which were actually accurate, and made a note of the sporting differences with an illustration of a broom in the air. Bernie added on to her question with another question: "Well which did you attend, sir? Muggle or wizarding school? Did you do any field work to study Muggles, like living amongst them?" It was important for a so-called Muggle expert to have actually studied Muggles in the wild, in her opinion.
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Old 10-05-2019, 03:43 AM   #13 (permalink)
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All this blinking reminded Bernadette of that Doctor Who episode with the Weeping Angels, and the thought of those horrible creatures possibly being real suddenly cured her of the blinking. Don't blink. Schmoe could have an angel statue in his office right now! He would be daft enough to do that. And knowing the wizarding world so far, Weeping Angels TOTALLY WOULD be a real threat here.

More! Blinking! And! Twitching! "Do you have Tourettes, sir?" Bernadette blurted out, then quickly put her hand over her mouth. Oh no, how rude! But DID HE? He certainly met the symptoms she'd read about when her one Muggle classmate kept cursing, which was allegedly due to this disease and not to the fact that he was a brat....

She hurriedly jotted down his answers, which were actually accurate, and made a note of the sporting differences with an illustration of a broom in the air. Bernie added on to her question with another question: "Well which did you attend, sir? Muggle or wizarding school? Did you do any field work to study Muggles, like living amongst them?" It was important for a so-called Muggle expert to have actually studied Muggles in the wild, in her opinion.
What.

The blinking came to an immediate stop when she asked the question. ".... No," and suddenly, he was no longer blinking. No, that was a lie. He was still blinking, but at a far more normal pace now. He was still holding onto the desk, keeping all the papers snug and in place underneath his tum. That much did not change.

Errrrrrrrrrrrrr. "My primary and secondary education were wizarding schools," he had attended Hogwarts! Hufflepuff! Yes. "And university as well," but but but but. There was always a but. "For my doctorate, I went to a muggle school." YES. "Had a muggle roommate for the first three years." Todd was a true disaster. What a weird, nervous bloke. Always fidgeting. So strange. Schmoe felt a little bad for him, y'know? Must be difficult living your life in such a nervous state all the time. Ho ho ho. "I took every opportunity to be with muggles. The supermarket was my favorite sector to study. Very fascinating stuff. Especially watching watermelon-picking strategies." You had your tappers, your put-em-by-the-ear and listeners, the chaotic choose one and be done with its! So. Many. Watermelon. Choosing. Techniques.
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Old 10-13-2019, 02:48 PM   #14 (permalink)
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What.

The blinking came to an immediate stop when she asked the question. ".... No," and suddenly, he was no longer blinking. No, that was a lie. He was still blinking, but at a far more normal pace now. He was still holding onto the desk, keeping all the papers snug and in place underneath his tum. That much did not change.

Errrrrrrrrrrrrr. "My primary and secondary education were wizarding schools," he had attended Hogwarts! Hufflepuff! Yes. "And university as well," but but but but. There was always a but. "For my doctorate, I went to a muggle school." YES. "Had a muggle roommate for the first three years." Todd was a true disaster. What a weird, nervous bloke. Always fidgeting. So strange. Schmoe felt a little bad for him, y'know? Must be difficult living your life in such a nervous state all the time. Ho ho ho. "I took every opportunity to be with muggles. The supermarket was my favorite sector to study. Very fascinating stuff. Especially watching watermelon-picking strategies." You had your tappers, your put-em-by-the-ear and listeners, the chaotic choose one and be done with its! So. Many. Watermelon. Choosing. Techniques.
Bernie still had her hand over her mouth until he replied about erm... NOT having Tourette's? She... she wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or not, but he WAS still holding on to all the papers, so.... He was just weird, then? She shuddered slightly and decided to let that line of questioning die... for now....

She tried to write as much as she could about his so-called Muggle education, though she KNEW that he was NOT MUGGLEBORN. "Knew it!" the firstie muttered to herself, continuing to scribble scribble in her notebook with her ordinary Muggle pen. She was somewhat surprised that he had a doctorate.... he just didn't seem organized enough to get through so much school... and then he began discussing supermarkets, and didn't... didn't wizards pick out their own produce too? "How do wizards get their food then? They all have house elves to grocery shop for them?" Bernie didn't realize she had asked this out loud, but now she really wanted to know.

Oh, and back to her previous question: "Don't you think wizards should be taught Muggle Studies by a Muggleborn, sir?" Bernie adjusted her fake glasses with a few tap taps on the bridge of her nose.
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Old 10-18-2019, 01:12 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Bernie still had her hand over her mouth until he replied about erm... NOT having Tourette's? She... she wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or not, but he WAS still holding on to all the papers, so.... He was just weird, then? She shuddered slightly and decided to let that line of questioning die... for now....

She tried to write as much as she could about his so-called Muggle education, though she KNEW that he was NOT MUGGLEBORN. "Knew it!" the firstie muttered to herself, continuing to scribble scribble in her notebook with her ordinary Muggle pen. She was somewhat surprised that he had a doctorate.... he just didn't seem organized enough to get through so much school... and then he began discussing supermarkets, and didn't... didn't wizards pick out their own produce too? "How do wizards get their food then? They all have house elves to grocery shop for them?" Bernie didn't realize she had asked this out loud, but now she really wanted to know.

Oh, and back to her previous question: "Don't you think wizards should be taught Muggle Studies by a Muggleborn, sir?" Bernie adjusted her fake glasses with a few tap taps on the bridge of her nose.
"Well............... No," he shook his head. Well......... Sometimes. It was possible...... But mostly... No. Er. Yes. Anyway. "Also at grocery stores, but you know," this is where he'd gesture vaguely with his arms, but at the moment his arms were... preoccupied. "Muggle grocery stores are an excellent place for observation. Not many places like it where all sorts of people go," not necessarily limited to culture, age, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. YOU KNOW? It was the best place to see them in MASS quantity. In BULK, if you will.

................... Ah.

He understood now. The point. He was wondering when she would get to that.

It took a moment, but then his lips twitched into an uncomfortable thing that could only be described as..... a??? Smile???

"Ah," he blinked three times. "I can assure you, Ms. Bernadette," he began. "I am qualified for this position." Because clearly that was the worry, no?
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Old 10-18-2019, 01:50 AM   #16 (permalink)
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"Well............... No," he shook his head. Well......... Sometimes. It was possible...... But mostly... No. Er. Yes. Anyway. "Also at grocery stores, but you know," this is where he'd gesture vaguely with his arms, but at the moment his arms were... preoccupied. "Muggle grocery stores are an excellent place for observation. Not many places like it where all sorts of people go," not necessarily limited to culture, age, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. YOU KNOW? It was the best place to see them in MASS quantity. In BULK, if you will.

................... Ah.

He understood now. The point. He was wondering when she would get to that.

It took a moment, but then his lips twitched into an uncomfortable thing that could only be described as..... a??? Smile???

"Ah," he blinked three times. "I can assure you, Ms. Bernadette," he began. "I am qualified for this position." Because clearly that was the worry, no?
Okay, well, w h a t e v e r. Bernadette rolled her eyes BIG TIME. It seemed that despite having access to MANY elves of ALL KINDS, NONE of the wizards here, or there, or on the train, or plane, or even in Diagon Alley, KNEW MUCH ABOUT ELVES. Shmoe included. One would think, with all the ho-ho-hos he did, that HE ESPECIALLY would understand elves. Ya know, because Santa.

Back to the subject at hand.

"Uhhhhhhhhuh," she drawled in a know-it-all tone, furiously scribbling SOMETHING in her notebook and then making a BIG show of CROSSING IT ALL OUT and SLAMMING her notebook shut. She let a nice long pause follow this dramatic flourish as she carefully stowed her notebook and pen away, and adjusted her glasses as she looked up at the professor. Bernie's head was tilted up so her nose was in the air and her hands were carefully folded together in a pyramid to complete her scholarly look. "I think," pausepausepause "with all due respect," which, in her opinion, was minimal, "sir," a token title for him, that was all, "that you should take me on a teaching assistant for this school year. Sir, all we have learned in class is how NOT to build furniture, and with my expertise, your students could be building SO much more knowledge. I know what it's like to be raised by Muggles. I also know a few things about the wizarding world." Literally, just a few. "Unlike some of your students, and you, I have a unique perspective that could help you plan HELPFUL lessons that bridge the gap between wizard life and the Muggle ways of doing things. I could make YOUR class be one of the MOST USEFUL classes at Hogwarts! Because where else will most Wizard children learn the function of a rubber duck?"

Come on, how could he turn down that offer? Look at how SCHOLARLY this first-year was. A veritable EXPERT on Muggles.
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Old 10-27-2019, 12:50 AM   #17 (permalink)


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Alexandre had gone full detective. He was still bummed that he didn't have a detective costume or any detective props, like a magnifying glass or a torch or something like that. If he was better at magic he could maybe make something like that happen but he was only a third year, and he didn't have time to get an older student to help him. He had to investigate this cookie thing and then go to his next class.

He had arrived at the office of Suspect Number One. Aka Schmoe. He'd gotten all the evidence he needed from potions class and now it was time to confront the suspect. So he knocked on Schmoe's door and waited. Waiting wasn't very detective-like, but he was still a polite student and he wasn't just going to go barging in, even if he was a suspect.
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Old 10-30-2019, 04:52 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Okay, well, w h a t e v e r. Bernadette rolled her eyes BIG TIME. It seemed that despite having access to MANY elves of ALL KINDS, NONE of the wizards here, or there, or on the train, or plane, or even in Diagon Alley, KNEW MUCH ABOUT ELVES. Shmoe included. One would think, with all the ho-ho-hos he did, that HE ESPECIALLY would understand elves. Ya know, because Santa.

Back to the subject at hand.

"Uhhhhhhhhuh," she drawled in a know-it-all tone, furiously scribbling SOMETHING in her notebook and then making a BIG show of CROSSING IT ALL OUT and SLAMMING her notebook shut. She let a nice long pause follow this dramatic flourish as she carefully stowed her notebook and pen away, and adjusted her glasses as she looked up at the professor. Bernie's head was tilted up so her nose was in the air and her hands were carefully folded together in a pyramid to complete her scholarly look. "I think," pausepausepause "with all due respect," which, in her opinion, was minimal, "sir," a token title for him, that was all, "that you should take me on a teaching assistant for this school year. Sir, all we have learned in class is how NOT to build furniture, and with my expertise, your students could be building SO much more knowledge. I know what it's like to be raised by Muggles. I also know a few things about the wizarding world." Literally, just a few. "Unlike some of your students, and you, I have a unique perspective that could help you plan HELPFUL lessons that bridge the gap between wizard life and the Muggle ways of doing things. I could make YOUR class be one of the MOST USEFUL classes at Hogwarts! Because where else will most Wizard children learn the function of a rubber duck?"

Come on, how could he turn down that offer? Look at how SCHOLARLY this first-year was. A veritable EXPERT on Muggles.
Bernadette was quite a character. So much pizzazz for such a little body. She made him sliiiiiiiiiightly uncomfortable. (Nevermind the fact that he was always slightly uncomfortable). He blinked a few times as he watched her little hand scribble furiously in her notebook. He did want to know what it said, but he also did not want to ask.

So instead he fiddled his thumbs and waited until she was finished.

It was what came out of her mouth next that made a single brow lift up into his general forehead area. As eyebrows tend to do when one is..... intrigued? ..... Amused? .................. Slightly confused?

He paused for a moment in thought. A long moment. Finneas wasn't planning on taking on a teaching assistant any time soon, but he did give it some consideration. Or pretended to, anyway. "Th-that is a fine idea, Bernadette," he bobbed his head up and down, up and down, up and down. "But what makes you qualified to teach?" Was it his turn to interview now? "Knowing a subject and teaching the subject are two completely d-different beasts."


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Alexandre had gone full detective. He was still bummed that he didn't have a detective costume or any detective props, like a magnifying glass or a torch or something like that. If he was better at magic he could maybe make something like that happen but he was only a third year, and he didn't have time to get an older student to help him. He had to investigate this cookie thing and then go to his next class.

He had arrived at the office of Suspect Number One. Aka Schmoe. He'd gotten all the evidence he needed from potions class and now it was time to confront the suspect. So he knocked on Schmoe's door and waited. Waiting wasn't very detective-like, but he was still a polite student and he wasn't just going to go barging in, even if he was a suspect.
Grading papers was such tedious work. It was oh-so fortunate that he had a nice snack to keep his mind at peace while he worked his way through the never ending stack of essays. One bite for each paragraph. Ho, ho, ho. Truly, Professor Noble was a decent man.

Finneas nearly bumped his head on the very low ceiling when he heard a knock on his door. He was an easy man to startle, y'know? But ah, he ought to have been expecting the company. The lanky man took his time before bumbling his way to the doorway. There were crumbs on his sweater vest, but there was a guest at his door and there was no good excuse to keep whoever it was waiting. "Oh, Alexandre!" he smiled at the boy in that awkward way of his. As Schmoes do. "H-how can I help you today?"
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Old 11-07-2019, 12:26 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Bernadette was quite a character. So much pizzazz for such a little body. She made him sliiiiiiiiiightly uncomfortable. (Nevermind the fact that he was always slightly uncomfortable). He blinked a few times as he watched her little hand scribble furiously in her notebook. He did want to know what it said, but he also did not want to ask.

So instead he fiddled his thumbs and waited until she was finished.

It was what came out of her mouth next that made a single brow lift up into his general forehead area. As eyebrows tend to do when one is..... intrigued? ..... Amused? .................. Slightly confused?

He paused for a moment in thought. A long moment. Finneas wasn't planning on taking on a teaching assistant any time soon, but he did give it some consideration. Or pretended to, anyway. "Th-that is a fine idea, Bernadette," he bobbed his head up and down, up and down, up and down. "But what makes you qualified to teach?" Was it his turn to interview now? "Knowing a subject and teaching the subject are two completely d-different beasts."
WELL? What did Schmoe think? It was a wonderful offer, was it not?!

Yes, he agreed. Good. Bernie scooted forward on her chair, finding herself nodding along with the professor, until he suddenly stopped and started asking ze questions. Oh.... her? Q u a l i f i e d? To teach? Hmm, she hadn't thought he would question her after all her questions.

"Um, yes, that's true," the first year agreed, returning to bobbing her head, and then adjusting her fake glasses, and then tapping her foot. She was a little bit nervous at being put on the spot, see. "I can teach because... I know what it's like to be a student!" Yep, yep, that was true. "And I have a lot of E N E R G Y!" She threw her hands up like an wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tubeman to emphasize how much ENERGY she really had. "Plus I have lots of good ideas, and I'm not shy," well, not usually, "and I can be VERY helpful and hardworking." When she wanted to, and was interested in the material. "PLUS," and this was important, "people follow me! They copy me, and do what I do!" She had a little sister copycat, for example, who never stopped following her around! "See, I'd be the PERFECT teaching assistant for Muggle Studies." How could he turn her down? Look at how CUTE but BRILLIANT she was, at only eleven years old.
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Old 11-16-2019, 01:42 AM   #20 (permalink)
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WELL? What did Schmoe think? It was a wonderful offer, was it not?!

Yes, he agreed. Good. Bernie scooted forward on her chair, finding herself nodding along with the professor, until he suddenly stopped and started asking ze questions. Oh.... her? Q u a l i f i e d? To teach? Hmm, she hadn't thought he would question her after all her questions.

"Um, yes, that's true," the first year agreed, returning to bobbing her head, and then adjusting her fake glasses, and then tapping her foot. She was a little bit nervous at being put on the spot, see. "I can teach because... I know what it's like to be a student!" Yep, yep, that was true. "And I have a lot of E N E R G Y!" She threw her hands up like an wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tubeman to emphasize how much ENERGY she really had. "Plus I have lots of good ideas, and I'm not shy," well, not usually, "and I can be VERY helpful and hardworking." When she wanted to, and was interested in the material. "PLUS," and this was important, "people follow me! They copy me, and do what I do!" She had a little sister copycat, for example, who never stopped following her around! "See, I'd be the PERFECT teaching assistant for Muggle Studies." How could he turn her down? Look at how CUTE but BRILLIANT she was, at only eleven years old.
Finneas held back a smile, covering his mouth with an awkward hand as he kept bobbing his head up and down. Bernadette was quite eccentric. Not wrong about the energy. There was so much of it in such a little body. It was truly a wonder that she hadn't exploded already. Though the arm-flailing did look like an explosion of sorts. Again he waited, giving her words due consideration.

And in attempt to build up the antici........... (SAY IT) ........ pation!

"Very well then," he finally spoke. "You speak with conviction, Bernadette." She would make a great lawyer one day, if she were interested in such a thing. "I'll need a copy of your CV of course and a letter of interest, as I consider your offer. All standard." He waved a dismissive hand, so she could see just how standard all of this was. SO standard. So so so soooooooo standard. "If you can get that to me errrrrrrrrrrrrrr," he checked his watch... "Tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow morning. I can see what I can do."
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