Zander Adair hated visiting office hours. Even though he didn't hate most of his Professors. Or even offices for that matter. Actually, he kind of liked the offices. They were... cozy. And unique. And... What was the point here? Oh yes. Professors made Zander a little uncomfortable when he talked to them one on one. But he was here because in all his years of Hogwarts, he had never once made it to Arithmancy office hours.

Straightening up his messy tie, as he wasn't really careful when putting it on this morning, the Gryffindor walked straight up to the door and knocked knocked knocked.

Hiiiiii. Zander Adair out here.

For the first time ever.

Tiara put down her quill and looked up at the door. Was that a knock at the door? If so, this was the first visitor of the new school year. Assuming it was a student, of course, which it actually might not be. What were the odds it was a student? Her third years were covering something tricky at the moment, so it might be --

And what was the point of this? "Come in!" she called, rolling her eyes at herself.

It was always the wait to be invited in that made him question himself for showing up in the first place. Did he really want to be here? Actually, uh, he wasn't all that sure. But alas, here he was. And there was Tanner. Well, there was Tanner's voice anyways...

He wasted no time opening the door and walking right into-- Well. This was... Well... He wouldn't say it was disappointing... Just... Unexpected maybe? Most Professors went out of their way to make sure every single inch of their office was decked out in their personality. There was hardly ever a space that didn't scream 'THIS IS ME, CAN'T YOU SEE IT?'. But Tanner's office was... a little empty. A little plain. A little... Woah. Would ya get a load of that broomstick.

Ahem.

"Hi, Professor," he smiled still letting his eyes linger around the room for a moment longer. He scanned the books on the shelf, but didn't linger there as none of the titles sounded any bit interesting to him. And just a single picture. Huh. He turned back quickly, realizing that he couldn't just stand around surveying her room forever. Ahem. That'd be all kinds of rude, wouldn't it? "Uh, sorry... I just realized I've never been in here before," he scratched his head slightly embarrassed as he walked towards one of the chairs.

Though he didn't quite take a seat yet, 'cause was he supposed to wait for her to tell him too? He wasn't sure. He could make about twenty office visits a year and still not be sure. What was the protocol here? But he'd wait because Culloden seemed to like that, so maybe Tanner would too. "Its uh, really... clean," he offered nodding.

Also another point to add here... Zander had no idea how Tanner saw him. As a good student? A bad one? The one that stuck around Ms. Perfection Sophie Brown? The lackey? A weirdo?... So it made this very difficult. Because if Tanner thought he was good, then he had to be EXTRA good just to make sure it stayed like that. But if she already saw him as a terrible kid, then eh he'd just be regular good.

Oh, Zander Adair. What an interesting character. But he was part of the Arithmancy Dream Team along with Tobias and Sophie, and by that fact alone he was always welcome in this office. "Hello, Mister Adair. No need to be sorry, feel free to gaze about." After all, he wouldn't be able to focus on the purpose of his visit until he did.

Clean? Tiara chuckled involuntarily. "Take a seat if you'd like, Mister Adair," she said, indicating one of the few chairs in the office. She reached inside her desk and pulled out a tin. Prying the lid off, she revealed a few shortbread cookies and proffered then. "Have one or don't, it's up to you." She had no idea of his meal schedule, after all. "And then whenever you're feeling comfortable, we will get to the reason for your visit."

She certainly was going to help herself to a cookie!

So was he on extra good behavior today? Or just regular good? He wasn't quite sure. But he did give his Arithmancy Professor a goofy smile as he went to sit down. You know what, forget all this good behavior stuff. He was just gonna be Zander Adair the only way he knew how and then... Well... Hopefully this wouldn't be a total disaster because sometimes that happened when he tried to be just Zander Adair.

"Oh, thanks Professor that's awfully nice of you," normally he wasn't one to take any food that a Professor offered. But only because the candy in Culloden's office was a complete trick doused with cheering potions. Hmph. He would NEVER trust any Professor with food EVER again. Especially not cookies because Flamsteed poisoned the entire class that one time too. But he was hungry and the cookies did look nice. But he was cautious. Ahem. But only because constant vigilance, y'know? Nah. He was gonna devour this thing. AHEM.

After he chewed and successfully swallowed a giant bite, he again gave her a goofy smile. "Well I don't really know why I'm here to be honest, Professor." Was that a good way to start the meeting? No. Definitely not. "'Cause I'm not in love with Arithmancy... But I don't hate it either...." Uh. Where was he going with this? "But I guess I did well on my OWL exam," GOOD? PFT. HE DID AWESOME ON THIS ONE. The only one at that. Aheeeeeem. "And I really need to do well on my NEWTs and-- I guess I do know why I'm here actually... I was hoping to get some advice." He again mussed his hair, in a slightly embarrassed matter. "How am I supposed to rock my Arithmancy NEWTs when I've got so much other stuff on my plate?" Or maybe he just needed a therapy session.

Too much pressure. It was horrible.

Also uh, was that even a valid question? What did normal students use office hours for?

She liked this kid. He was almost always in a good mood, and that smile just served to reinforce that fact. Sort of like Tobias in that way, actually. Tiara continued to munch away at her cookie, hoping that Zander was enjoying his as much as she was her own. She chose not to reply to his thanks, but only because she was really enjoying her treat.

But her curiosity was aroused when he expressed the reason for his visit - or rather, the lack of reason for his visit. The Head Boy seemed to be rambling a bit.. well, okay, he was rambling a lot. She continued to nod as he continued to talk, but finally felt like she knew where this was headed. If only she could keep her focus on the Gryffindor and off of a second cookie.

She let a thoughtful pause grow between them as she considered the best way to address his concerns. But she realized that she actually didn't know too much about him, so that she couldn't give him much advice. "Well, what exactly is it that you are juggling? Classes, of course," she said, "but what else?" Was there a club, a girl, family issues?

Zander opened his eyes rather widely. What else? LOADS else, Professor. ALL THE ELSES. There were far TOO many things. And of course they were eating his brain away. That's why he had rambled so much. Too much to think about. Much too distracted. "Everything, Professor." Every single thing in the world. Is that a thing? Yes? Then Zander was juggling it. He was juggling ALL THE THINGS. He didn't even know how to juggle and that is where the problem probably sat. Ahem.

"I've got a girlfriend now, and she's kinda going through a lot so I've got to be there for her," Sophie Brown. He was proud of that. "And I've got loads of homework, Prefect duties, now I'm Head Boy so there's even more pressure and tasks I've got to do for that, Gobstones, and on top of all that I've got to figure out what I want to do for the entire rest of my life." There were more things too. But he hardly thought throwing things out there would be at all useful.

He slunk back into the chair. Was that enough? 'Cause for Merlin's sake he was only seventeen!!! "But..... I just don't get it. Professor, how did you know what you wanted to do for the rest of your life?" Had she always wanted to teach Arithmancy? Because no offense, but why?

Everything. Well that was nice and specific, thank you Zander Adair.

Okay, yes, see this was helpful. Girlfriend.. she had her suspicions about him and Miss Brown, but she wasn't about to pursue the subject. What concerned her was his allusion to her having issues as well, which certainly wouldn't do for her Prefect. Mental note to talk with her later. "If this girl is truly worth your time, Mister Adair, she will be willing to spend time with you whilst you take on other challenges, such as the homework and Prefect duties you allude to." And if her suspicions proved true, this was even more true in his case. "Don't let a romantic relationship drag you down when that is the very opposite of what it is intended to do. If that's not the case, then you should count that as a stress reliever rather than instigator, and I officially strike it from your list." She made a crossing out motion with her arm and smiled.

On to the student leader roles. "Head Boy is not all that different from Prefect, so if you can handle one you can handle the other. And might I remind you that Miss Brown is more than capable of shouldering your load. If I know her at all, she understands the pressure you feel, I have no doubt about it. Let her comfort you in that."

"Gobstones is simple. It meets very rarely, lasts a short amount of time, and should be fun rather than work. But if it becomes something you dread instead of enjoy, then simply stop participating. Your housemates will understand, I am quite sure of it." True, loyalty was a Hufflepuff trait, but that did not mean that Gryffindors were completely devoid of it.

And the last reason was what she suspected to be the root cause of his panic. "Well you are dead wrong on your last problem, I'm afraid. You do NOT need to know what you want to do for the rest of your life." Even Tiara herself did not know that, and she was far older than Zander! "All you need to know is a bit about who you are, what your passions are, and what motivates you in life. From there, you should be able to piece together a few potential paths to follow: more schooling, travelling, job hunting... whatever it may be. But count on it: whatever you choose, you will likely be doing something else by the time you reach my age." Hopefully that didn't scare him more than his present state of alarm.

"As we age, we grow physically, spiritually, emotionally, socially... and therefore we are molded into a different version of ourselves. In twenty years, your desires may have changed and your career might go with it." Just look at her own jobs! "So no, not the rest of your life. You just have to figure out the next step, not the whole journey." If he could remember that, it would relieve him of a lot of pressure.

He had asked about her own story, and why not? "I wanted to be a gymnast.. but the hard ground had other ideas. When I came to Hogwarts, I found Quidditch and knew that refereeing could be a good alternative. I did that for several years.. but then my tastes changed. I took the job at Hogwarts to mirror that change." And of course there was Jason, but her love life was a topic for another day. or never "Then with the Quidditch threat and Miss Domingo leaving suddenly.. Arithmancy was open, so I took the plunge. And here I am today!"

Heh. Yeah. He was good at being specific. Oops. Sorry Professor Tanner.

”She is, Professor,” Sophie Brown was definitely worth his time and… Tanner was right about all that stuff. It wasn’t actually Sophie that was stressing him out or anything… Just Sophie was under even more pressure than he was and he wanted to help make it all go away, but he didn’t know how. That’s the part that was bothering him. He couldn’t fix things. But either way he nodded and gave his Arithmancy Professor an understanding nod, whilst mimicking the crossing out motion with his own arm.

And… Well, she was right about Head Boy being only a small step up from Prefect. But it didn’t really feel like it. Zander had screwed up so much in the past and they still gave him this role. That was the intimidating part. Felt like he had to be perfect now, but she was right… Again. Merlin, how did Professors even do that? He was glad to have Sophie as Head Girl, though. Otherwise he probably wouldn’t have taken the position because he had no idea what he was doing. At least Sophie sort of knew.

The Gryffindor scratched his head at everything she said next though. ”But Professor, the only problem is… I don’t know where to start?” On his path, is what he meant. Honestly, at this point he didn’t really feel a strong enough pull towards anything. He liked Herbology, but did he like it enough to pursue it? Doubtful. He was decent at Arithmancy, but was he decent enough to want to work with numbers and guesswork his entire life? Also doubtful. Whereas someone like Sophie Brown knew she was going to be a wandmaker, potioneer extraordinary from the moment she stepped through the Hogwarts doors. And his doormmate Benny was no doubt working with dragons. Merlin, even that first year kid knew he was going to be a journalist. And where did that leave Zander?

As he listened to Tanner tell her own story, he let his thoughts quiet down for a bit. ”So you’re saying I should just wait for an opportunity to come to me?” He scratched his head. But uh, what if that opportunity never came? Was he just supposed to sit around and wait for something magical to happen? Man. Zander did NOT want to graduate.

Tiara already knew that Sophie Brown was worth Zander Adair's time, but she also knew the value of having the boy voice this fact aloud. "As awesome as you are, Mister Adair, you are not a superhuman. No one can fix every problem, nor would you be doing her any favors if you did. This is a stage of life where you can learn to cope with pressure and stress in a relatively safe environment that has a safety net; your character is being molded by this, remember that." Trials come to develop perseverance, after all.

The woman nodded her head as he voiced his frustrations and worries. She understood that knowing where to start could often be the hardest part. "If nothing else, you can start by figuring out what it is that you do not want to do. Process of elimination, you know." And often, knowing why you eliminated something would show you something about yourself that may help you rule something in. "No, not just wait. It can be hard to be patient, but sometimes good things come to those who wait. Still do your research, pursue apprenticeships or internships, all of the normal things. But don't panic if nothing happens right away."

Well actually Professor, technically Zander did feel like a superhuman. He could do magic. How many regular humans could do that? Not many, Professor. Zander would know. But he also didn't want to just be a regular human. He WANTED to play the hero. He wanted to FIX things. But she was right, of course. Again. Was it a Professor thing or was it a Ravenclaw thing? Because Zander had a good feeling Tanner was of Ravenclaw decent. She sure spoke like it, anyway.

But what she said next, the part about learning to cope with pressure and stress.... That it molds character.... That brought Zander to a long silence. It was like Davie had said in the owlery. in Fifth Year when Zander had been in the forbidden forrest... When he couldn't save Gregoire, it was horrible. Zander had beat himself up about it for months... But.. But now he knew that it helped him become a better person... And a better leader because of it. It molded him.

... Huh.

Maybe Professors did actually know what they were talking about some times.

"I will, Professor," remember it, that is. Actually, he would probably right down exactly what she said as soon as he was able to walk out of this office. He had a track record for writing down nuggets of wisdom. It helped him remember them. 'Cause otherwise, he'd totally forget everything that was every told to him. Oops.

"Well I do know that I don't want to work with DADA?" Was that a start? He nodded along, looking down at his feet momentarily. She was right. He had really made this a big deal when really the answers were simple and straight forward. There wasn't much to worry about. Right? "Thanks, Professor... This was all super helpful." And Zander did feel loads better already.

It was always heartwarming when students appeared to actually listen to what you were saying. More than just listen, actually - interact with it, apply it, chew on it. And that was exactly what the Head Boy was doing. She could tell. He was going to be thinking about this conversation for a long time.

But his rumination didn't prevent him from being himself! Tiara laughed aloud. "Yes, that is actually helpful to know," she said, settling down. "That is quite a broad category, DADA. You have just ruled out many different paths. Perhaps you are further along in the decision process than you think." She knew that, but the trick had been getting him to see that. "And you are most certainly welcome, my dear. Now, go enjoy the rest of your day and try not to spend too much of it in deep thought!" she suggested, smiling.

"Thanks for dropping in! My door is always open."

He was going to think about this conversation for a long time.... Probably even longer than he'd like to admit. Tanner's advice was good, but it also lead to even more questions. Even more concerns. It felt like he had to have his whole life figured out right now, but he didn't even have a clue. This helped though. It helped a whole lot.

"Maybe," he commented skeptically. Or maybe he wasn't further along. He wasn't exactly sure where he stood on the whole scope of things. But ahem.

"Thanks for everything, Professor," he stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. "And don't worry, I won't." Already had too much deep thought for one day, thank you very much. And with that, the Gryffindor waved and walked out the door. Merlin, he needed some ice cream or something.