B, Stevie and I had rushed up to the girls dormetries after Luke and Will had left. None of us said anything, even thought I was sure we all wanted to say loads of things.
"B, thanks, the, you know, Percy..." I tried to say. Not only would the curse have hit me, but it would have hit Will if she hadn't.
I went to sleep, not able to get the thought of Jason out of my head.
---
I woke up the next morning before B and Stevie and walked down to the Common Room, hoping no one would be there, luckily it was only Luke and Will.
"You're up early, for you that it," Luke said dully, I knew if nothing had happened the night before he'd be grinning.
"Any word from your Mum yet?" I asked Will sitting down opposite from the two.

I couldn't sleep at all that night. The moment I closed my eyes, I felt sick and saw hooded figures, aka Dementors, coming closer to me. Oh, what had I done? Was there any way to go back in time? I'd change so much. I wouldn't let it get down to this. I had thought this so much before, but still, I didn't recognise myself anymore. Thinking back to what I used to be, only the shell was left. Someone else was living in my body. Why won't no one stop me? I am a danger to everyone, I should be... And again it came back to Azkaban. I lied in my bed the whole night, staring at the cealing above me. I had to do something. Maybe the best thing for me would be if I never used any magic again, then I wouldn't be able to do Dark magic either, right? The morning came and I heard someone waking up, I turned my back to whoever it was in my bed, acting as if I was asleep, when actually I wasn't. How could I sleep with all there horrible things I had done were spinning infront of my eyes; the flash of green light going off over and over and over again. And then there was Percy's body in front of me, motionless all over, except for his lips: his dead eyes were glassed on me, and the lips, with no voice, mouthed: Murderer!
I heard everyone in the room leave one by one, yet I didn't. It would be safer for everyone to just keep away from me. And now that Hermione was having a baby, I couldn't possibly let myself near the baby, who knows what I might do without even knowing it. God knows I don't want to hurt anyone. I never wanted to hurt anyone, even more so kill someone. I had no explanation to what had taken me to those things. Maybe I was under an Imperious curse without even knowing it? I would hope I was, but somehow I knew I was not.

Luke and I looked up as the girls walked in, I hadn't slep much that night. The images of Jason, B killed Percy and a new baby kept haunting my mind. Just a Kira had aske her question and owl came flying in.
"This is it" I grinned broadly, unwrapping the parchment and stopping.
"Will!" Kira said excitedly, "Read it outloud!"
"Wow" I smiled, "I'm going to be a big brother..." I looked down at it and read out-loud,
Dear William,'
Hermione has given birth to a healthy boy, both are doing well. We have named him Tudor. I have just spoken to Mc Gonagall and she will be coming to get you all to come to Ephram's funeral in America. We have organised to meet you all there and will be returning home straight after so pack your things.
Stay safe,
-- Krum
I closed the letter and looked over at Stevie, no one had told us we would be going to Ephram's funeral today. The joy had seemed to be broken once again.

OOC: sorry it's short, in a rush, just off work, she made me do an extra hour! I told a friend I'd meet them at 8! It's 9:30 AHH!

I put a hand to Stevie's back, she stepped away to hug Will. I caught eyes with Luke then looked down.
"I'd better get my things before McGonagall comes," I said and rushed upstairs, packing a small bag, knowing we wouldn't be staying there long.
"B," I tapped her back, not knowing if she was asleep or not, "We've got to go to Ephram's funeral... but you have a baby brother, I mean, Hermione had a boy," I smiled.

I walked into the dormetry and over to my trunk, I waved my wand a few times and all my things flew neatly into it. I began to change into some muggle clothes for the funeral. I noticed Sean was staring at me from the corner of my eye.
"What?" I asked coldly. He didn't reply, he just looked over at Jason's now empty bed. "It's not my fault"
"Then whose is it?" Sean replied angrily, "You know he didn't have many friends, he looked up to you, he always said you were a talented wizard, and you led him right to his death!"
"Shut up" I snapped, my voice angrier then before. Sean raised his wand, he shouted out something but was interrupted by another voice,
"Levicorpus!" Luke shouted from the door, Sean was flung into the air by his ankles.
"Come on, lets go" I said, picking up my trunk I followed him back into the hallway. Before shutting the door I raised my wand and flicked it at Sean, he fell back onto his bed. We slowly walked down the stairs and saw Mc Gonagall holding out a goblet.
"This is your Portkey," She said as I took it, "Now, you both have a good summer. I... I don't want you worrying about Jason Longbottom, I have spoken to his parents and they are both going to be... they're going to be okay" She turned around and left the common room. Luke and I took a seat, waiting for the girls.

Sleeping was not something I had done the night before at all. My eyes were bloodshot and my brain was going a thousand different ways.
"I was wrong about B?"
"Hermione's having a baby?"
"Percy's dead?"
and worst of all,
"B killed him?"
I pushed the thoughts out of my mind when I heard we were going to Ephram's funeral. This should have been MY desicion, they all would have never gone had i not gone. So why now am i being Made to go?
I walked over to McGonagle with the portkey.
"Where is it?"
"Where is what?" She asked.
"The funeral" I said.

I heard someone walk back into the dormitory and then felt someone nudge me on my shoulder. When Kira's voice talked to me, I didn't look at her, but insted sank out of my bed and sat down on the floor next to it and rested my back against it.
"Great! Another person who I can fail myself to..." ((Ooc: Erm, bad grammar, I know. I just couldn't put that into words... Bic: )) I shook my head a bit and closed my eyes. I was surpised that she talked to me. I didn't ecptect any of them to ever want to have anything to do with me. But there I was wrong. It made me feel a bit better, that they at least tolerated me enough to still talk to me, and they had lied to Snape as well. But that wasn't enough to make me forget everything I had done. I was sure it will never go away. "Tell Stevie I'm sorry about Ephram, but I'm not going anywhere." I said in a silent voice. Didn't think she might care what I have to say, but still. My mind went back to what I had thought about earlier, about not ever going to use magic again. I took out my wand, took a look at it, and then threw it on the floor. "And you can do whatever you want with that, I'm never going to use it again." I said, staring at it with my narrowed, red eyes.

I walked up staris in the dorms to get Kira and B and let them know that we were leaving. I found the both of them on the floor,
"Hey"
"Um we're leaving" I said a bit nervous, i now felt uncomfortable around B. And that wasnt a good thing. I was mad at Will, Kira, I didnt know where our friendship was going. And I was just plane scared to be with B.
"Go ahead without me." B said.
"Hermione and Ron are expecting you" I said to her.
"Doesnt matter, ok?" She was starting to get snippy.
"Fine. Kira are you coming?" I looked to her.
"Yea" She said waving her wand, a black slim-fitting dress suddenly appeared on her. I did the same thing.
"Oh yea" and flicked my wand, my hair was done up with just a few wisps of fringe hanging down.
"Ready?" And I walked out of the room, not looking back.

I took a last look at B, she wasn't looking at me still, but looking at her wand on the ground right next to my feet. I didn't want to give up on B, a big part of me still trusted her.
I didn't want to leave her with the state she was in, I picked up her wand and set it on her bed, "Here, just...," I had no idea what to say, for a second I wished I was Will, he always knew what to say.
"Kira!" I heard Luke call up the stairs.
I grabbed my bag and rushed downstairs.
"B's not feeling up to it," I said and caught eyes with Stevie.

I looked up the stairs, it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I pulled out the Portkey and held it out for them all to touch.
"She can catch the train home alone, then" I said shortly. We didn't have long, there was suddenly a tugging feeling and everything was spinning. We stopped almost instantly at a large cemetary. There where hedgestones all around, just up ahead was my mother, Krum, Ron and Courtney, all smiling down at a bundle in their arms. The four of us hurried over,
"Hey guys" Hermione smiled, "Will, this is Tudor" She leaned forward and I saw the small, pale face of a sleeping baby. I couldn't help but smile as she let me take him into my arms.
"Cutie" Kira grinned, leaning over my shoulder.
"Yeah, like his big brother" I said with a laugh. Krum was looking around with a confused look on his face. "B's not feeling well, she'll catch the Hogwarts Express home" No one seemed to question this as at this moment we spotted Ephram's father walking over to the grave, Madam Pomfrey on the other side. Ephram's coffin was lieing above it. "You ready?" I asked Stevie.

I took a seat between Luke and Will, who sat next to Stevie. The wole service went by slowly, Ephram's father talked for a bit, but I wasn't entirely paying attention. Every other minute I turned to Stevie to see how she was holding up.
We stood around the grave as Ephram's coffin was set in, I looked at Stevie, she was whiping her eyes.
It all appeared over, no one seemed to know exactly how to break the silence. Luckily Tudor let out a small cry from Hermione's arms.

I looked over at Stevie, I could see her eyes watering, she was trying so very hard to hold back tears. I leaned over and put my arm around her shoulder. I placed my forhead on the side of her head and kissed her cheek slowly, she pulled away. I knew why, I too felt guilty for just holding her at Ephram's grave. I looked down and knew what this meant.
"Stevie... why are you so sad?" I asked in a whisper. She took a deep breath,
"I miss him so very, very much" she replied slowly. I took a deep, cold breath, before speaking again.
"I am meant to fulfill what he has left behind. But I think... I think we both know that this, this could never work" I was surprised to see that she didn't expect me to say that. I had been thinking it for so long, I had known it. "Stevie, I love you; but you and I, we don't match, we just don't work. I can't live knowing I am only with you because you can't have him"
"Will, you know--" Stevie began, her voice sounding desperate.
"I know that you love me, I do know that. But what has been different?" I paused, "We give each other exactly what we gave before we were a couple. Except, I don't feel the way I know I should, like I did with Rachel. It might be because I will always feel as runner up, or that you have always been like a sister to me, maybe I am looking for something else, someone who makes my stomach jump everytime I see them, but that girl just isn't you Stevie... I am so sorry, but I'm not inlove with you" I stopped and pulled away. "I'm here for you, anytime, anyway... But we can never be, because we were nothing more then a crush..." I turned around and left, my heart feeling heavier then ever before.
I felt horrible, but I knew she needed to let me go, to find someone like Ephram that would really make her happy, someone who wouldn't father her like I did. I turned around to see her one last time, then headed over to Kira.

I turned to Will as he walked up to me from the food table, "Heya, think we can drink the wine?" I grinned, he didn't respond. I looked from him to Stevie who was still standing over Ephram's coffin, "What'sa matter? Why aren't you over with Stevie?"
"I..." Will started, I looked up and saw Luke trying to eavesdrop in.
"Luke!" I waved a hand, he rolled his eyes, walking over to our mum.
"We broke up," he said quietly.
"Here? Right now?" I asked, feeling confused, "Why?"
"Look, it's hard to explain. Just go comfort her, please," he bit his lip.
Without a word I set down my glass and walked over to Stevie, "Hey," I stood with her, putting a hand to her back, "You okay?"

I sat and watched Stevie and Kira talking to each other in a low voice, I hoped that Stevie would get through it soon and we would be able to become friends again. I knew if anyone, other then me, could talk her around it would be Kira. My mum had just sat down next to me, trying to calm Tudor down.
"He's a loud little tyke" I said with a grin, then added in a whisper, "Lucky he didn't get Krum's nose" My mum laughed, then after a few moments her face became emotionless again.
"Where's Birgit?" She asked. I stared at her for a moment,
"She's upset. She feels guilty" Before quickly adding, "about Jason"
"Right" She said sadly, "And, are you okay?"
"I broke up with Stevie" I said, she didn't seemed too sad to hear this, "I guess... I guess that I'm just not..." I paused, it was awkard to say it.
"Inlove with her?" She asked, understanding with just a glance, "I know Will. I know how it feels to be with someone, but be inlove with someone else" I stared at her,
"You weren't inlove with Dad?" I asked, breathless. Her eyes went wide,
"No! Oh no! Not that, I meant... I meant when I was in high school. Ofcoarse I loved your father! Don't be rediculous" She said hastily.

I sat by my bed for some time, quite a while, about 30 minutes, or so, I didn't care about the time now. Every now and then, when my mind wondered to the last events, I gritted my teeth. I didn't know what I was supposd to do from now forth. Weather I return to Hermione and Krum, and try to act like nothing has happened, though I would constantly feel guilty in front of them, and espectially Will; or, this was the worst option of the two options I had, was to join Draco's side. Not to hurt people, no, of course not, but maybe just to see that he doesn't do anything too bad. I knew I had very little chances in that, but maybe if I talk to someone before, I could be like a spy... Not that McGonagall or anyone would allow me, ever. I didn't think I'd have the courage to tell anyone either. Or if I left out the part where I killed, and just tell them that Draco trusts me, and then maybe? Will I be returning to Hogwarts next year? I dearly hoped so, but how? The school might all know about my 'little' secret by then, or what was worse, I might be in Azkaban... I gritted my teeth once more. But at least, now I had made up my mind on what I will do, whatever might happen. I stood up, and stomped out of the dormitory. There were only a few more students in the common room, searching for their last belongings, others might already be in the Great Hall, having the last meal before going to the Horgwarts Express. I hoped Ginny was still in the school as I ran through the corridor and stopped behind her classroom door. She wasn't at the funeral, cause she hadn't met Ephram more then once or twice. I knocked on the door, and gladly, or sadly, I didn't know at the moment, a sweet voice called me in.
"Please, sit!" She said friendly as I had closed the door behind me. She didn't really seem to notice my red eyes, or maybe she though it was because I had cried for Jason. "Can I help you?" She asked smiling, sitting opposite me, behind her desk.
"Yes..." I said, hesitating a bit, but then decided to just blur it out. "But I beg you not to say anything before I finish, cause nothing you say will make me change my mind." I said, looking into her eyes. Her expression fell a bit as she nodded. I nodded too, staring onto the desk. I didn't raise my head as I spoke. "I decided to join Draco Malfoy as a spy. He trusts me, and I think I can be of some assistance to get some info and to, finally, bring him down. I already have the Mark," I said, pulling up my sleeve for a while, I heard Ginny make an odd noise, but I didn't look up. "If you feel the need, you can tell the Order about it, I will not, but don't tell Will, please. He'll find out soon enough when I don't return to him at Hermione's place. I will find a way to send you, and only you, the info I get." I said and lifted my head a bit now. Ginny was looking at me with a very concerned look on her face. "Please understand..." I added.
"I do. And I'm not going to stop you. I will just ask you to be extra careful!" She said in a silent voice.
"You do?" I asked, suprised a bit. I didn't expect her to agree this easilly. "How?"
"Let's just say, I have done my bit of reading. You really should read Harry's autobiography someday." She said. I might have been wrong, but I thought I saw a wink and a smile in her eyes. I only nodded. "Will you be going now?" She asked, after some silence.
"Yes." I said and looked down again, sighing. "I hate doing this, I don't want Will to hate me, which I know he already does." I mumbled under my breath, though Ginny heard it.
"No he does not. None of us hate you. We are just very worried about you, that's all. And Will cares for you the most, that's why his dissapointment is the biggest..." I almost started crying as she said this. She noticed it and quickly added. "But don't worry about it. As soon as he finds out what's behind it, he won't be. That is a very brave thing you are doing, and a very dangerous one too, I might add... But none of us can stop you. You are of age and you have your own will." She said. I had stopped my tears now. "Will you be returning to Hogwarts next year?" She asked.
"I hope so... But I don't know..." I answered. Before I could say anything else, she had rushed up to me and pulled my into a hug.
"If only I could help you with it..." She said, her voice shacking now. "Just try not to get yourself killed." And added quickly, "and not to kill anyone yourself." With that, I couldn't help myself and started crying. Ginny quickly pulled away and looked to my eyes.
"I didn't mean it!" I sobbed.
"Didn't mean what?" She asked, confused.
"Percy! He was.......... going to kill......... Kira and....... my mouth and wand-hand worked faster then I.........I could think to stop myself!" I tried to say through my cries. At first, I expected Ginny to step away from me and tell me to leave, but instead, she pulled me into another hug, stronger then the last one.
"Oh, Birgit...." She whispered quietly. After a few moments, I pulled off again, not looking at her, whiped my tears and rushed towards the door, where I suddenly stopped, and looked at the floor next to me, holding my hand on the doorknob.
"Tell everyone I love them..." I said, and exited the room.




((Ooc: Ooh, dear, I got a bit carried away... <IMG class=inlineimg title=">_ And perhaps overdramatic too... Heh. I could have written it in two posts, but it was a whole story, so I thought there wouldn't be much point to it.... Gah... Well, this is my last post in this thread! *sob* Year 6 is over... *sniff* You may finish up, and then someone starts a new thread, the Lilar 7, the last. *sob* I don't want it to end! <IMG class=inlineimg title=">_ *cries* Well, at least the last one will be the most interesting! :shiftyeyes: I'll read your posts, but just in case, bye, till the next one... ))

ooc imputting in a post since i havent in a while, whose starting lilar 7 ooc

What Will had said had not surprised me, It was what i was feeling for a while. But to here him blurt it out hurt. Now not only was i thinking about Ephram, but about William too. I needed that comforting, and yet, i wanted the relationship too. I felt hopeless, iwas shocked he'd broken up with me at a funeral. I stopped staring at Ephram's lifeless body and walked over to where Hermione was standing. I looked at the ground for a moment, knowing we were alone. Thoughts billowing up in my brain.,
"Do you know where my father is" I looked her straight in the eye. The look she gave me, will never be erased from my mind.
She sighed.
"Yes"

ooc: Here's my last post in this thread, it's a big one and I've been planning it for a while. Sorry, I have to get Hermione back to the apartment so you can put the rest of the conversation with her later, unless you want to keep it a secret till the next thread, because my post is meant to be sort of cliff-hangery...

I stopped spinning suddenly and relised I was back in our apartment in London, Krum, mum, Tudor and myself had used another Portkey to return home. My mother had said something to Stevie I was surprised to see B hadn't returned, no doubt it was because the Hogwarts Express hadn't returned yet, but it would in a few hours and I knew I would have to see her again soon.
"Well, we should really get packing" My mother said, but instantly Tudor exploded into tears again, "Oh, dear! He must be hungry again. Vicktor, can you start packing up the silver. Will, there are some boxes in the back room full of old junk, I am going to have it thrown out. Bring it out into the living room"
"What kind of stuff?" I asked, over my screaming brother. She didn't hear and followed Krum into the kitchen. I turned around and headed into the back room.
It sure was full of boxes. I tried to pick up the first one but it was too heavy, so I tapped it with my wand and it suddenly became much more lighter. I moved it out the way and saw a much smaller bow at the very end of the room, covered by a rug. I pulled the rug off and lifted open the lid.
"Dad?" I whispered, picking up the picture of our family together when I was only four. I smiled and placed it on the gorund, lifting up old jumpers that use to belong to my mother. Then I saw it, lieing at the bottom was a small, neatly folded piece of parchment. I slowly leaned in and pulled it out, then opened it carefully.
I read for what felt like an hour, though it was surley only a few seconds. The letter was short, but it explained everything. I stood staring at the words, my heart pounding. It couldn't be true, what I was reading, it just could not be true.
"Mum?" I asked as my voice shook with rage, stepping into the kitchen where she was feeding Tudor from a bottle, and Krum was packing some plates into a box with his wand.
"Yes, dear?" She asked nicely.
"What is this?" I asked, her eyes fell onto the parchment in my hands. She recognised it instantly, she took a sudden gasp. "Where did--"
"Is it true?" I asked, almost a whisper, "What it says... it's true, isn't it?"
"William... you have to listen..." She said, Krum getting to his feet and looking at me.
"Does he know?"
"Yes... I told him before we got married" She said, her face going pale.
"HE KNEW?" I shouted, rage rushing through my blood "HE KNEW WHAT YOU DID? YOU'RE A HORRIBLE MOTHER!"
"William! Listen--" She started, Krum also spoke.
"NO! YOU LIED TO ME! I HATE YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! ACCIO KRUM'S BROOM" I had raised my wand and instantly a broom came flying in through the next room. I walked over to the glass doors that led onto the balcony.
"William!" My mother screamed, she was crying, "Stop! Sit down, we can talk! I can explain!"
"BOMBARDAS!" I shouted, the glass shattering into a million pieces. I stepped out onto the balcony, mounted the broom.
"Wellem" Krum said, his voice surprisingly calm, he was walking towards me.
"IMPEDIMENTA!" I screamed, he flew back off of his feet and crashed into table, breaking it before my eyes. I mounted the broom and kicked off the ground.
My mind raced, I was so full of rage. I didn't know where to go, or what to do. I needed to be alone with my thoughts. For a day, or for a year, my entire life was a lie. Everything I knew.
And as I soared off all I heard was the dramatic screams from my mother. I didn't care, she was a liar.
My whole life had changed in seconds.

((Ooc: Ooh, Will! I love the length! Hehee! Good one, by the way. I suppose maybe Kira will post here too if she gets the chance, but indeed, who will start the 7th? I could, or any of you could... *shrug* ))

ooc: I'll go start it now. Catch you all there! The last year, exciting!

OOC: The next one's started I'll feel odd posting! besides, I'd say that's a good way to end it! aaah last year