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Old 12-17-2011, 05:59 AM
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quill The Extendable Ear QQ

Welcome to the Extendable Ear!

We've all done it, we've all had that moment where we peruse the RP threads and come across something that is SO funny it makes you spit water at the screen and have to come up with hasty excuses for laughing at your computer. This is the place where those witty little quips, quotes and snippets can be posted for the enjoyment of others! Share the love and the lulz!

Formerly known as Quotable Quips, a place in SS Hogwarts Haven made just for keeping the events/posts that are just too good to lose. There are a few changes to how this thread works starting 2012! Firstly, it will be a per-term thread. Secondly you are not to post your OWN snippets as that is not in the spirit of the RP!
Please remember to abide by the following guidelines or your posts may be deleted.

1. All quotes must come from the School RPG. In the case of students being RPed outside the School RPG, they can still be quoted, just so long as it is the student/school characters. No KA, DA, MoM character quotations here, please.

2. Post only quotes. Comments can be submitted in the chat thread or via private message/visitor messages.

3.Please don't post your OWN character's quotes here. The point is to share some funnies and some love that others come up with. You can include your own character for context but the focus should be on someone ELSE being funny. After all, if you post something funny, someone else can pop it here!

4. In the event that something memorable occurs and it is either a large body of text (more than 6/7 sentences) or a collaboration of multiple posts by multiple people, then please submit it under a textcut or spoiler (you do them the same way!).
textcuts: can be achieved by typing in the following:
[textcut=type something here]place what you wish to share here[/textcut]
Example:
Text Cut: type something here
place what you wish to share here

Have fun and please remember SS rules apply at all times!
Old 04-22-2012, 06:10 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Caterpillars...a new delicacy...

SPOILER!!: XD
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tegz View Post
West, who had his eyes INTENT on the measuring tape, did manage to spare a look for Aspen, when she said that bit about a holster. COOOL! A HOLSTER! COOL! He beeaaaaamed at her and, just to make sure that the measuring tape got the right measurements, he stretched even more. Or at least, it FELT like he was stretching, really there was probably only a millimetre difference, if that.

"Our dad has a Manticore holster." West thought that was worth mentioning, and he did so GOOD not to interrupt. He did!

He didn't notice that the Wand dude and his sister were subtly working together to block him from the displays. WHY WOULD HE? He had priorities. Right now his priority was GETTING HIS WAND! YEAH!

AHHHH LOOK HE IS GOING TO GET A WAND FOR HIM! West POINTED. To make sure Aspen was WATCHING. LOOK LOOK. He hopped from one foot to the other and then when the man came back - WITH A WAND- West FROZE, EXCITEMENT was too much.

GIVE IT A WAVE? He took it, Beamed at his sister and then....

... GAVE IT A BIG FAT WAVE! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

A shower of... green sparks? came from the tip of the wand, fell to the floor, and apparently began wriggling about much like West was wriggling about. He bent over and eyed them in astonishment. OH HEY THOSE WEREN'T GREEN SPARKS! THEY WERE CATERPILLARS, AND THEY LOOKED DELICIOUS!

He picked one up and popped it into his mouth. OMNOMNOMNOM.

As if in shock, and trying to escape the same fate, the other caterpillars spontaneously became cocoons.

Just cocoons, hanging out, on the ground, while West slurped down their compatriot.

NOW WHAT? En guarde! He pointed it at the wand dude and GRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNED a toothy toothy grin.
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Old 04-22-2012, 06:17 AM   #27 (permalink)
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I found this kinda funny, and awkward too imagine if your charrie has a same model with others, how if they met each other?

Can I say that it was.. Doppelganger?

SPOILER!!: *whistle*
Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessiqua View Post
Zhenya had somehow found herself in front of the Street Vendors. She didn't even know they were here, but Merlin's Beard she was not going to buy anything from them.

She took out her watch to check the time, and she still had a few hours until she needed to meet up with her family. What could she do? She already had most of her school supplies, and had already got some Ice Cream. And... a weird birthday present from a stranger who went to Hogwarts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eve. View Post
Liesel was so boooooored at the moment. Most of the time she was bored but never like this. She just had absolutely nothing to do. Well she did but that was just a tad more boring than walking around this alley thing. Oooh! She knew what to do now! She could tie up her hair. So there she was just tying up her hair into a ponytail. But that just didn't cure her boredom. Uhh.

She opened her bag and found some jelly snakes and started to chew on them. Jelly snakes were always nice and had sugar which was a GREAT thing! I mean who couldn't live without them! She knew no one.

As she strode through the alley she spotted a scary girl. Not in the real scary but she looked exactly like her. Creepy, right? She approached the girl she said something that she though. "You know your scary, you look exactly like me." she really did. "And that is not cool!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessiqua View Post
Zhenya was just about to turn around to go somewhere else when she heard a voice. It said someone was scary. Zhenya thought it could be a ghost person or a werewolf, someone who was scary. But as she looked around she saw herself in a mirror. Wait... Zhenya wasn't wearing that. She frowned, and heard the voice again coming from that girl... Who was looking at her. So, was she the scary one? She frowned, looking around. This was weird.

"um you... We... How is that possible?" she asked, looking at the girl. She had seen her face many times but that face belonged to her. Only now it also belonged to someone else?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eve. View Post
This was weird. And not her idea of fun unfortunately. Though her mum always say meeting people is a great, great thing she opposed that and thought it was one boring thing. Her mum also said that lollies were bad, but lollies were definitely no bad. She gave herself some advice on never trusting her mum on those moments because she'd be sure she was wrong.

Liesel was STILL waiting on the creepy girl. Why did they look so a like? Liesel could not have copied her because she was 15 and the creepy girl look as if she was 12. She put some more jelly snakes in her mouth. Oh oh. One of the snakes tasted bad. Disaster.

The girl finally responded. Thank you! Liesel was quite impatient and hated it when people took a lot longer than they needed to, this time round this girl. "I don't know! Ask a muggle scientist!" she said to the creepy girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessiqua View Post
Zhenya frowned a little. Just what she needed, ANOTHER rude person to ruin her birthday. But Zhenya decided that this girl was probably not so much being rude, but was more shocked. Well, she didn't know but she was nice and didn't give up easily.

"What does a muggle scientist have to do with anything? I... I wouldn't want to see a Muggle Scientist. Do... I... we look the same!" Then she had an idea. Zhenya had a birth mark on her shoulder. It was the shape of a drop of rain. She put her hand on her shoulder, over the birth mark, and said "Do you have a birth mark?"

She was curious. Were they spitting images of each other, or did they simply just look similar?
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Old 05-10-2012, 08:34 PM   #28 (permalink)
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A small snippet for your reading pleasure from the ever-entertaining WWW. The last line.. LULz!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BanaBatGirl View Post
Now on to the COOL part of the Book Club. PARTNER WORK. WOOOOOOOO!

He leannnnnned around the surly Slytherin kid and grinned at one familiar Hufflepuff. "Sup, Keefer!" William was might proud of himself for remembering that name. "SURE, I'd LOVE to join your group. Thanks for inviting me!"

He threw out his fist for a knuckle bump. POUND IT, PUFF!
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Old 05-28-2012, 05:48 AM   #29 (permalink)

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Roro...you ALWAYS slay me in some way *fangirls Willy like WOAH*
Quote:
Originally Posted by BanaBatGirl View Post

Williamson didn't notice the blush, and thank Merlin he didn't, because if he could read thoughts then he would be blushing too. Perhaps this 'study session' thing with the prefect had been a bad idea after all... he'd probably have more fun sitting and watching Roro sleep....

Nahhhhh. Look, he was corrupting kids with sugary drinks! What could be better than that?

"It's Diet," he mentioned as she took the can, then realized that meant nothing to her, "so it doesn't have any calo--- er, real sugar. Only fake stuff." That made it sooo much better, right? Gosh he felt like a girl explaining fake eyelashes to another girl. Or whatever girls did. "Just try it. You'll like it. It's bubbly."

It's bubbly was clearly the answer to everything. As William turned his attention back to the film, which was starting now, hope I'm allowed to say that he started to wonder just what sort of childhood meek, cookie-loving Kurumi Hollingberry had had. It sounded a bit like his own, only it was the Muggle things that had been kept away from little Willy. Huh.

"Oh I'll let you know all right," he snacked on some more popcorn and tilted the box toward her out of habit, "I'm a talker." He couldn't shut up for five minutes during a film unless it was some kind of girly romance movie. Then he was just confused into silence.
Bolded my favorite bits
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Old 05-30-2012, 11:30 PM   #30 (permalink)
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The brilliance that is Everett "Dash" Dashiell Scabior, everyone.

SPOILER!!: Staff vs. Staff vs. Staff
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaos.Doodles View Post
Oh? Was William Whateverwnamecamehere Williamson actually laughing or rather snickering at his sarcasm? Dash looked around the staff room, not finding what he had been looking for. It was a shame, if the room had indeed been blessed with windows then he would be able to catch a glimpse of flobberworms flying. Not because William was laughing at something he said no, that was unlikely but it happened. It was rather because the younger man actually had enough sense to catch his sarcastic comment.

And that was something no one probably thought possible.

Dash didn't know why he had decided to speak about something that required braincells and the ability to forum intelligent thoughts with William. He could almost see the stupidity oozing out of his brain as the Care of Magic Professor attempted to listen. Fortunately they were both saved.

He had no intention of getting up from his cosy seat, so he let William get up while he simply took a large gulp of his tea. As William returned, Dash blinked, slightly confused before picking up paper that was disposed off on his lap. A small smile tugged on his lips before he crumpled the paper up and stuck it in the side of the chair. "They are learning the importance of an effective rally and protest which can often be the change of many laws in Wizarding society, as shown by the Goblin Rebellions, and the No More Borr campaigns." Sorry, Williamson, you couldnt challenge him."Plus, its far more educational than anything Lainey even made us do." He loved her. He truly did, but the woman was slightly nuts.

He supposed being dead once did that to you.

So? Did Dash care? Not at all. He was feeling generous though, just slightly, as he sipped his almost perfect tea."So.... you have a year to do something about that thing. I won't bother you anymore." William didn't have his word on that though.

Dash wouldn't bother him about the Dragon anymore..today.

As the staff room door opened, his attention was drawn toward one of the newer staff members. "Oh, what a pleasure it is to see you too Bellaire!" He started off acidly. Really, did the woman not know how to say hello?
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Old 05-31-2012, 03:02 AM   #31 (permalink)

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so much win....I can't even

Quote:
Originally Posted by from Care of Magical Creatures
Aspen mentally measured the dragon... hmm... then did a mental measure of Professor Williamson. If it came down a brawl, she was betting on the dragon.

Shouldn't he be on a leash?The dragon, that was. Aspen made a note to look up how fast dragons could run.

Then look up the record fastest time it took for a dragon to eat a hooman human. THEN... she looked around the class, picking out who was most likely to get eaten by a dragon.

Clearly Professor Williamson. But maybe the Gryffindor Prefect. Obviously all the first and second years would be easy pickings...

"He needs a bib," Aspen commented, more to herself than to anyone else. A dragonhide one to match their gloves?

Lastly, Aspen mentally cataloged the least likely to get eaten by a dragon. She put herself on the list, Joao, Kennedy, Louisa, and DEFINITELY Sierra would be spared. Sierra would leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth, even blood-sucking, dead-ferret-eating dragons.
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Old 06-07-2012, 10:36 PM   #32 (permalink)
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This had me craaaaaaacking up. Best parts in bold.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephyr View Post
Looking up at Professor Williamson, Mordred along with the Toot team, made their way toward him and gave back his precious Roro. “It was an interesting walk professor.” He said as he gave him his leash. “Roro’s amazing!...He made Kurumi fart.” Magical creature, right? With all his might, he pulled a poker face, turned his back to the professor and stood with the rest of the students and waited for his next instruction.
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Old 06-08-2012, 02:06 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Ah, Lee. Please note the new Hogwarts rule, kiddos. No gorgeousness allowed.

SPOILER!!: Alleged "Bro" of Professor Williamson
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeness View Post

A number of things occurred within a few minutes of each other and it went a bit like this:

First of all Williamson, his bro, told him how right he was with his answer. I mean, Elijah KNEW he was right in the first place, but there is nothing quite like a bro to confirm this fact for you, right? Williamson probably thought he was such a genius with all this knowledge trapped inside such a gorgeously, well-shaped head.

However, from this point on things went sour.

He began speaking to Soph, explaining to her that it wasn't her fault, which is true! It isn't her fault that she was falling madly in love with him. It was a hard thing not to do and clearly his bro was backing him up and letting her know that it was okay, BUT then he threatened to deduct house points! Elijah couldn't tell you the last time he saw the Hogwarts rule book (or if he EVER saw the Hogwarts rule book), but he was sure it didn't read as so:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Totes ze Offical Hogwartz ruleezzzzz
Anyone being too unbelievably handsomely, dashingly, knee-dropping, drop dead gorgeous will find themselves eligible for potential house point deductions.
Pfft!

Maybe it was jealousy? Maybe Williamson was so jealous of how attractive Elijah was and this was his way of getting back to him? Or maybe he was trying to show people that despite his looks he wasn't perfect and can have flaws, too. Girls loved flaws. It made you look vulnerable and stuff. Yeah, that was probably it AND it would fit in with the bro-code.

However, the second threat sounded a LOT more serious and this time it was directly at him. It somewhat frazzled Elijah and his usual confidence slipped somewhat as he wasn't entirely certain what to DO. He hadn't been anticipating a bro-trayal like this! It was un-bro-lievable!

He crossed his arms in a huff, making sure to give his sexiest pout to illustrate how dark and broody he was, and ensuring he was still as attractive as ever.

When the option to help bathe the dragon was offered he decided against it. "No way am I going near that thing with all that baby oil. I am WAY to good looking to be getting my hands dirty like that. The dragon can smell for all I care," he whispered to Soph. He watched on, though, excited to see what less-attractive students would offer to help. This was bound to be entertaining.
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Old 06-10-2012, 02:54 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Pfff..hahahaha! XD Best parts in bold.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tegz View Post
It wasn't West's fault that he was already done untangling. It wasn't his fault that the plimpy legs were calling to him and trying to get him to make them dance. Obviously he needed to distract himself, so that's why he was looking around and being nosy at someone else's work.

He shifted over to peer at what the Hufflepuff was writing, and then he sniggered. "Its not pimply. Its plimpy." So helpful, he was.

But that DID make him wonder.... did plimpies get pimples?
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Old 06-12-2012, 12:44 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Lafaaaaay!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Droo View Post


"An orb? What are you talking about? A bludger must have hit you in the head! Vindictus froze because he's a tired old man..."

Woops...

She shouldn't have said that out loud...

Ok...
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Old 06-12-2012, 12:50 PM   #36 (permalink)



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And this is from the same post as the one above. *giggles* :3

Quote:
Originally Posted by lazykitty View Post
Then the professor was asking if anyone had pulled something. If they had, it wasn't her. Nope she wasn't that foolish. Not this girl, no way. But she did make a helpful suggestion. "Maybe try splashing him with water...?" That's what people normally did when people fell asleep out of nowhere, maybe it'd work in this case too?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Droo View Post
Hecate turned to the girl, and cast an aguamenti spell straight to her face...

... yeah...

Patience was no longer in her vocabulary...

"When I need your help, I will ask for it."
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Old 06-20-2012, 02:34 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Some people juct make me laugh...
Quote:
Originally Posted by originally posted by verbain in reference to lunae-Pluvia Niteo in charms lesson 3
Originally Posted by verbain
This wasn't fun anymore, NOPE.

And now it was the learning time. As if he was really in the mindset for a fun-filled lesson now? Psssht. Lunae-Pluvia Niteo. Theo had NEVER heard of that before, so he guessed.

"Does it turn on the sun? Cos I think we need a bit of sun down here."

Serious.... poor forest looked like it never saw the light of day.
Poor kid - bad at astronomy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry174 in the same topic of lunae-Pluvia Niteo
Laura looked at the Professor and smiled. "It sends up an SOS incase we are lost, we say the words and some sparks go flying out of our wands and then BANG in the sky are three letter SOS." Laura had no idea if she was right but well she thought it was a good guess after all they would need an SOS in the forbidden forest right, after all the creatures had finished with them.
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Old 06-21-2012, 10:34 AM   #38 (permalink)
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This got a snort out of me.

Question: "What do you know about Magical Portraits?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tegz View Post
West knew something.

He put his hand up.

"Some of them are really annoying, but if you thump them, they mostly shut up."
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Old 06-23-2012, 06:54 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Lol Max happening in the hospital wing... this is how old people wake up: startled.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demented_death_eater View Post
A finger on the left hand that was grasping a silver, feather-shaped whistle twitched. Then another finger on the same hand twitched. The right hand was still grasping an imaginary broom handle. The fingers on that hand began to twitch. Slowly, the chest began to move up and down - a definite sign that the occupant in the hospital bed was breathing. Yet the patient's eyes remained closed.

A deep breath and a sniff of the air. Max sniffed the air again. It smelled like . . . antiseptic! WHAT?! The Pitch was supposed to smell like grass, dirt, sweat and NOT antiseptic.

He flexed the fingers of his right hand. Where was his broom? He was holding it! But the crowd had gone quiet. Did Kate collide into him or did Keefer suddenly launch himself from the Stands to tackle his team mates and accidentally hit him instead? Seriously, why did bad things happen to him whenever Hufflepuff played?

The fingers on his left hand were still on his trusty whistle and he brought it up to his lips because he wanted everyone in the Stands to know that he was perfectly okay.

TWEET!

The shrill whistle echoed throughout the room and the sound of it made him open his eyes at last.

He blinked twice.

There was a CEILING over his pitch.

"Who is messing with MY PITCH? SLYTHERIN WON FAIR AND SQUARE! NOW REMOVE THIS ILLUSIONMENT CHARM OR ELSE!"

His right hand dropped to the sheets that were on the bed. He fingered the linens and took a deep breath. "And return my grass to normal!" roared Vindictus.

Yes. Professor Vindictus was definitely back.
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Old 08-25-2012, 05:08 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Plimpy soup for the wizarding soul publishing party thing? What has that got to do with the school? Well when the father of a prefect meets a current professor and a former one, sarcasm ensues. sections of my posts only included for context, irrelevant segments have been removed

SPOILER!!: little ray of sunshine

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurumi's father
Drink in hand, Charles figured that if he was going to rub elbows with anyone he was going to have to initiate the rubbing. Figuratively speaking that is. So, off to figuratively rub elbows he went!

The man walked around the room, idly looking at the copies of the book being celebrated for a moment before noticing a couple standing by the door. He didn't really recognize the man, but the sophisticated woman in green. His cupcake of sweetness had raved about her for two terms and he had happened to see a picture or two when she had been working on some sort of school project over the summer. "You must be Professor Schirmer," he said with a slight nod of the head and a raised glass. She deserved a toast for not only teaching his little princess but inspiring her as well. "I've heard an awful lot about you from my little ray of sunshine." And now he was practically BEAMING with his glass in hand.

His green eyes shifted to the gentleman she was with, a somewhat familiar face but not one that was exactly ringing a bell as it were. "Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners," he said with a small chuckle. "I'm Charles, Charles Hollingberry."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schirmer
Oh. Company. Althea smiled slightly in acknowledgement at her name, eyebrow went up a little at the raising of the glass and a 'little ray of sunshine'.

Uh huh.

Oh.

Hollingberry. She shot an almost sly glance at Dash.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scabior
He was still staring, intensely, until an unknown voice grabbed his attention. Eyes changing direction to the unknown man who had approached them. Or rather Professor Schirmer. Obviously the man was a parent. And not an informed one at that. Thea could correct him on that.

Charles Hollingberry?

Kurumi's father. Ah.

Did he know that he apparently, hated his daughter?

"Mr. Hollingberry." Dash repeated. Ah. That explained the 'little ray of sunshine' thing. He held out his hand in a slightly bored fashion. "Everett Scabior. Kurumi never informed me that her father was a writer." Probably because he hated her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schirmer

Althea hadn't yet offered her own hand, she let Dash do that, and was inwardly amused by him. She was well aware of his dislike for the young Gryffindor overachiever. Thea moved her hand to the small of his back and focused her attention on Charles Hollingberry.

"A pleasure, Mr. Hollingberry. Your daughter always did well in my lessons." She was SO diplomatic. "Of course, I'm over at the ministry now, Department of Accidents and Catastrophes." Head of said department. Obviously. "Your daughter has quite the talent for charms and for alchemy." And for irritating Dash beyond belief.

Queue a pleased and dazzling smile.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scabior

Well of course Hollingberry always did well in Charms. She was a walking talking dictionary, with no personality to help make her vast knowledge less annoying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurumi's father

Charles was BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAMING now. Granted, he usually did whenever his little perfect pearl was brought up in conversation, but to get compliments on top of it all. Well, Charles was simply over the moon...so much to the point that he wanted to hug the woman. Only that probably wouldn't go over too well - with both her and the rather grumpy looking individual standing next to her. So, reluctantly, Charles refrained and simply nodded his head.

"Why thank you, I'm simply tickled," he grinned - almost boyishly actually. Odd man, Charles Hollingberry. "Yes, she did tell me that you had taken up a new post, congratulations by the way. The Ministry can always use strong leadership and great minds." At least if everything his little apple pie had said was true, that is. "I do believe you have sparked an interest in alchemy in her. She asked for some books on the subject for her birthday..."

At which point Charles was now reaching into his pocket for something. Something that had an Undetectable Extension Charm placed on it...


Only his movement were interrupted by the other man who was holding out his hand.

OF COURSE! He KNEW that he was about to show pictures of his little sweetest of cupcakes and was just SOOOO eager to see them that he was reaching for them already. "Ah yes! Professor Scabior, History of Magic professor at Hogwarts, correct?" She had not spoken about him too often...if at all? "I used to work for the Daily Prophet, but I returned to the Japanese Ministry a few years ago. I am not surprised she never spoke about me...she is such a busy little bee..."

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike....

Right on cue, Charles THRUST a picture RIGHT in the man's face from his little princess' instructing a small group children in their home's kendo dojo. "JUST LOOK AT THE WAY THOSE CHILDREN LOOK TO HER FOR GUIDANCE LIKE FLOWERS LEANING TOWARDS THE SUN FOR LIGHT!"

Did he want a copy or two? Charles had a few in this album and he could always duplicate things with a simple spell. Brighten up the office? Did he want it poster sized?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scabior
Hollingberry.

All smiles, grinning like an idiot. If anything it caused Dash's demeanour to turn cold.

"Correct." Ex-Daily Prophet employee? So what was he doing here? It was not like he had any use to any one of the authors. "Right." He said, attempt to sound as interested as possible. "If you don't mind me asking then" - Even if he did Dash would still ask - "is there a reason pertaining to the Japanese government as to why you are here?" Here. In London. And not Japan with his 'busy bee'.

Within seconds of the question leaving his mouth the man suddenly pushed something right into his face.

The man was not sane.

It was a given that he would be slightly obnoxious seeing as how his offspring was, but he was not slightly obnoxious, he just seemed to have been dropped on the head one to many times as a infant.

Swiping the photograph away from the mans hands, Dash didn't even bother to take a proper look at it. "Wow. Astounding. Just astounding. A group of children that now know how to recite passages word for word from any book. Shocking. Just. Just how would they survive otherwise? This is right up there with finding a cure to every disease known to Wizards clearly."

It would be so hard to catch the sarcasm in his voice. He held the picture back to Charles, handing onto the smallest amount of it possible. "And I'm extremely sure that Althea would agree." His eyes flickered to her, resting the urge to shake his head in disbelief.

This man? Yeah. It made sense why Kurumi was the way she was.


Oh dear. Kurumi best watch out this term, I don't think Scabior is likely to cut her any slack after this little exchange.
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Old 08-28-2012, 10:57 AM   #41 (permalink)
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Pretty good summary of what OWLs are. It made me giggle.

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Originally Posted by the fastest seeker View Post

"Mmm... OWLs year," Cassia said when Ari mentioned she was in her fifth year. Though the girl seemed to hesitate before saying it?! Nah...Cassia just imagined that. "Pretty important year for you," The twelve year old said. See she isn't always clueless ,she knows a couple of things. Like OWLs are in the fifth year and they are important.
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Old 08-29-2012, 05:39 AM   #42 (permalink)

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*loves all over Dash's face* Continued a bit from Tegz's last post regarding this
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaos.Doodles View Post
A former journalist, and to think, Dash assumed that he would get along well with people who wrote, for once he was wrong. Althea moving closer too him would have been good almost like a sign that she understood what he was thinking, if the man wasn’t so eccentric.

The man didn’t understand sarcasm! The History of Magic Professor had no clue why he was hearing about a student who he couldn’t care less about. Perhaps Kurumi had been a bit better this term however-

Did…he just…?

Dash stared, first at his shoulder where Charles’ hand had come in contact with four times, then to the man. His eyes just flickered back and forth from shoulder to man, until finally they rested back on his student’s parent, and a large smile formed on his lips.

Yes.

He was smiling, baring teeth and all in a sickening over the top sort of smile.

“Charles.” Smiling Dash rested his OWN hand on the man’s shoulder. “Fair warning here,” He cleared his throat. “If you ever touch me again, they’ll be two possible options. I will cut your hand off in the most painful way imaginable. Or I’ll just make sure that your little ray of sunshine fails all her NEWTS. The former is actually most likely to be painful to someone like…well, you, but I think it would be best for you not to touch me.” He dropped his hand, and the smile faded almost instantly.

With that said, he would have taken the moment to lead Althea away from the man, if the familiar red head had not appeared at his side. “Ivy.” How was he? Well. He stared, paying no mind to her arm pokes. “I’ve been better.” That should have been obvious, he did attempt a real smile though. “Neither are friends.” Dash corrected. One was an acquaintance at most, and Althea and him had never been friends.

“Mister Charles Hollingberry here, is apparently here to give the book exposure.” Or to brag about his daughter, invade people’s personal space and be a Hollingberry. As for the woman on his other side, he took a few seconds, figuring out the perfect wording. “And this is Althea Schirmer,” he licked his lips, and looked to Althea. “We are currently dating.” Dating. Yeah. They were. Hm.
Got to love publishing parties
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Old 09-01-2012, 06:10 AM   #43 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by BanaBatGirl View Post


Lucky? Bunz was lucky? "I don't think I believe in luck, Mr. Recard." She made her own luck, if anything. "Does this look lucky to you?" The woman's frown deepened as she gestured toward the train. If this string of 'luck' kept up, she was going to be left with unsightly mouth wrinkles....

Ugh. Yes, she was in trouble, and she was, unfortunately, asking for help. From a Ministry man, nonetheless.

"Well." Anastasia regarded his diagnosis and sigh with a sigh of her own, taking a tiiiiiiny step closer to him. She blinked at him with her best, most innocent, help-me-I'm-new-and-a-ditz expression. "Help me, Mr. Recard. You're our only hope."
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanialRadFAN01 View Post
Well, she certainly didn't appreciate random sayings. Obviously all those aboard the Hogwarts Express weren't very lucky they had broken down but he was here to help them now. Duh.

Armen was looking at the train, wracking his mind for what he could do to help transport the multitude of students and Headmistress to Hogwarts when he looked back to the woman he was talking to, finding her right besde him, eyeing him weirdly.

Oh, he was? Recard's chest puffed out slightly and he turned his look from her back to the train dramatically and then spoke quickly. "Was the Prophet article true, the Board of Governors are stranded with you on there too? You all must be so afraid out here all alone." Yes, so scary for a woman and her students out in the elements but again, he was here.

"I've got a plan, wait here I shall return in a few minutes." He touched her hand reassuringly and Disappaperated.
This totally made me laugh & think "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."
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Old 09-02-2012, 03:44 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shanners View Post
Ah, Elodie could understand that. The whole not looking where you were going. She did that. Sometimes. ONLY sometimes. "It's okay. Maybe you should get tested for needing glasses, though." Just a helpful suggestion. It didn't occur to her that it could be taken negatively, because she'd meant it as a help.

Oh dear. Sadface. The girl was trying to hide her wrist. "Let me look at it?" She had no medical experience, and therefore wouldn't provide a great idea, but still. She wanted to see if it would need to be chopped off.

She held her hand out for the girls wrist, and watched her inquisitively. "It doesn't matter. My bottom hurts, and I only landed on that. Some girl broke her leg, and I bet someone died or something. Let me see it.." Ha, Elodie was pretending to be all knowing. When really, she knew nothing about healing. Smiling at her new accompanient, Els nodded. "That's pretty. Elodie." Just incase she wanted to know her equally, if not more, pretty name.
This post is so win.
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Old 09-02-2012, 04:41 PM   #45 (permalink)


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Originally Posted by Tegz at the platform View Post
"Lots of things. Slytherin is the best team at Hogwarts. Seven players of our team are on the top of the stats list. We got the MOST goals all season last year, we've got Isaac Muir who is the best Keeper in the school AND a great Seeker too, we've got Sierra Greingoth and Kennedy Escalante who will break your FACE with a bludger, then there's our captain, Dylan Montmorency, and he can play ANY position."

Paaause. "And Hufflepuff were third overall last year. We beat them TWICE."

Just so that she knew. "And now you know."
You just can't beat this. Nope. Nada.
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Old 09-03-2012, 08:43 PM   #46 (permalink)



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A post...showing the awesome nature of Lainey


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Eye Touz View Post
Lainey arrived to the Great Hall at last. She was wet, dripping even, and was dragging a trunk along behind her. The metal feet of the trunk made ear-splitting screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeches with every inch she moved, but the VP didn't seem to hear it.

Drip. Step. Drip. Step.

She paused at the Ravenclaw table to see if those kids from the Food Trolley were Ravenclaws or hat munchers, then carried on towards the table.

Drip drop. Step. Drip drop step screeeeeeeeeech.

Because most everyone was there, and it was too tempting not to, Lainey BOPPED everyone's head down the line of present Professors. Like duck, duck, goose Staff Table style. BOP. BOP. BOP. BOP.

FINALLY, the soppy ex-professors, ex-auror, current VP of BoG arrived at her chair. Beside Rae. Sup, Rae.

She lined the trunk up with the back of her assigned and usual chair by Rae, climbed on top of it, then went over the TOP of her high back chair to take her seat.

"Well. I lost my food." So that sucked.
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Old 09-04-2012, 04:40 PM   #47 (permalink)

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Simply brilliant.

SPOILER!!: Lainey AGAIN
Lainey shrugged and nodded and dripped in response to Rae. As it turned out, she suddenly lost her appetite anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toddles View Post
The Elfsies had done it, they did what the red haired lady told them too! They did so good Toddles wanted to run around the room and dance like he loved to do. Big pink plant was still on his head.

No one spoke, not Pips, not Nimma, not Beezley, no one. So Toddles did.

"SPECIAL DEWIVERY!!!" There, that was that. Head lady wasn't still talking was she?



Now the plant was getting heavy and giving Toddles a headache so the baby elfsie snuck out from underneath it without the other elfsies seeing him and scurried under the table to look at all the pretty shoes. Toddles was told he couldn't wear shoes but his feet got cold, they did.

One in particular caught his attention they were VERY wet. Yucky. Toddle looked at them and slowly climbed up one tall leg and then the other. Suddenly his baby elf head popped up over the table as he SAT IN PROFESSOR LAINEY'S LAP.

"You're all wet Misses, want Toddles to help?" he slooooowly raied part of his pillowcase and wiped her cheek ever-so-gently-like. Big baby House Elf eyes.

It wasn't SHOCKING to find a baby house elf in her lap. This was Hogwarts, after all.

She STARED RIGHT BACK with Big Grown Up Lainey Eyes. STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARING WAR ON.

"I taught a class on how to barbeque house elves once." She hadn't. But hahaaaaa. See who blinks first now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Droo View Post
Yup... the woman was a weirdo.

"VP Lainey, I think you and I will get along swimmingly." Merlin, his wife would be jealous if she'd met the woman. She was delightfully quirky.
"Hmmm?" She was a little busy here, battling a house elf. Lainey didn't want to go swimming right now. Later, maybe. "At least where people can see, anyway."

Quote:
Originally Posted by fanficfanatict View Post
As the new headmistress spoke, Selina made sure to tune into everything that she was saying. The redheaded lady's speech was well spoken, to the point and very nice although Selina would be lying if she did not sincerely miss the don't die advice at the end. Ah well, she knew that rule by heart now anyway. But once the lady finished her speech, Selina figured it was good a time as any to finish out her work to find Mortimer.

Honestly, Selina needed to cover all of her bases if she was going to find her bat in time for Quidditch season... or for his daily night ritual of story time and cookies before bed. The stories were for Mortimer, the cookies were for Selina. Oh how she missed story time. Her bat had been missing for just over two months now and she was finding it increasingly more difficult to live life without her bundle of destruction joy. She just missed her bat so much.

So with a determined look on her face, because maybe one of these adults had seen Mortimer or knew where he was, she approached the staff table. Although, once she arrived she realized just how elevated the staff table was from the house tables. It was like the Professors either wanted to demonstrate some level of authority during meals or they were afraid that the students would turn rabid one day and the extra height would help them stay out of reach.

Clearing her head of such thoughts, she was on a specialized mission, she cleared her throat attempting to draw the professors attention to her. With a calculated and monotone voice, as if she were reciting a small, practiced speech which was relatively practiced, she said, "Hello! Bonjour! Salve, for our Latin speakers. My name is Selina Skylar for those of you who don't know me. First of all, I would like to take this time to say how excited I am to spend another term with all of you as professors. You all are gifted witches and wizards. So cheers to this term, but, erm, more importantly I would like to draw your attention to something very important- this..." She handed each of them a flyer.



"If any of you has seen this bat- please contact me at your earliest convenience. We appreciate your consideration and support. This is the best of causes..." Because what was better than reuniting a girl and her beater bat? THAT WAS THE QUESTION!


"Oh that sounds serious," Lainey took the Missing Bat Poster, but kept her EYES ON THE ELF. SUSPICIOUS ELF WAS SUSPICIOUS. Suspicious plant was even more suspicious, but Lainey would let the Expert Planty-affiliated Bunbury handle that. She'd recognize how SUSPICIOUS that was, surely.

The staring continued through the rest of the speech. STARE STARE STARE.

"That Gryffindor needs help finding her bat. Did you STEAL it, Elf? Do you know where it is? Bet I can find it before you."

With that, Lainey stood with the elf cradled in her arms, then DUMPED the elf in the lap of Amoroso (though.... gently-ISH sort of kind of maybe some). She strode from the table to find a bat, but not before DRAGGING THE TRUNK ALONG behind her again.

And bopping all the Professors again. BOP BOP BOP BOP. She headed towards the tables of STUDENTS.


Edit: Best part is the post title "Not making ALL the quotes. Ern, Droo, Elf with a death wish... Selina & Droo again"

Last edited by cake.ninjak; 09-04-2012 at 04:48 PM.
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:17 PM   #48 (permalink)
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SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE I CAN BUY A TODDLES!!!!? Please? SOOO KEWT! :3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toddles View Post
No, Toddles was not going to come back over there Pips! Not when Missis was all wet and yucky, Toddles had to do his job in caring for the Misses. Toddles liked her hair too, he didn't have any.

Oh and see the Headmistress with the red hair is letting the elfsies stay for the feast! That meant he was going to get to see everyone eat the potatoes he dipped his toe in. FUN!!!!


"The misses is pretty even though she is wet and yucky." Yep, Toddles liked when the masters were pretty not all of them were though, Nope. Since Toddles had done a good job wiping the Misses's face he expected her to hug him or tickle his feet or SOMETHING fun but no, she stared at him.

Toddles stared back. His eyes were probably a bit bigger.

"Barbeque? Is that a game? Toddles hasn't heard of that one before. Will you teach me?" More STARING.

Suddenly he was up and being held like a baby, the good kind that he was, but then she DROPPED HIM IN A MASTER'S LAP! AHHHH. The pretty Misses didn't want him anymore? Was it because she thought Toddles stole the little girl's bat? "Misses, I promise Toddles didn't steal it, honest!" He didn't steal things, just the shiney but that was his friend.

But know the Misses was saying she could find the bat first and started to run off to beat Toddles, A GAME. Toddles was going to get to play with her! "No wait, wait, waiiiiiiiit. Misses, Toddles will find it first, he will."

And Toddles bounced after the Board's VP, tapping around her knees to try and hold her back so he could win.
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Old 09-05-2012, 09:57 PM   #49 (permalink)
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There are some GOLDEN nuggets here at the staff table, and I'm not just talking about the food. *har har har har*

Emphasis added by me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fanficfanatict
Pumping her fist up in the air, she said, "YOU GO GLEN COCO! That is what I am talking about people! Whose with me?" With her arms still raised in the air she turned to Lafay, "How 'bout you, Lafay?" Headmistress? Anyone?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marion Burbage
Marion cocked an eye brow at the little dear missing her bat. "I'm sorry darling, but that is NOT the woman's name." Marion would have suggested that the girl wash her ears out to hear properly, but the darling was already distraught over her missing bat and she simply could not bear to make the poor thing more so.

Even if she HAD been rather rude just now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by He's Not You, Lafay, That Much Is Certain
Hecate's head had spun when she heard the captain. Her eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry, but do we know each other of a familial level? Are you and I... friends? I am PROFESSOR Lafay or POTIONS MISTRESS Lafay to you. I hae earned that amount of respect! Five points for insubordination." What idiotic student would lose their bat?! Her Lucille was like an extension of her arm and who in Hades depths was Glen Coco?!

Also, the Astronomy professor talking to the Arithmancy Professor Hufflepuff Head of House...

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixRising
Josephina tried not to grin too much at Marion, but her sweet, grandmotherly attitude was just splendid and refreshing. "Thank you. Yes, Arithmancy is rather fascinating, I must agree. And very consistent across the world. So is Astronomy, come to think of it. My sister and you would get along well, I'm sure." Her sister, the Astrophysics nerd.

But then, as the students began appearing the staff table, she really couldn't hold back the smile and laugh about it being a normal occurrence for Hogwarts students to forget their mannerisms. "Kids will be kids," Fina replied simply enough. Surely Marion Burbage would understand that one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WHO PLAYS HER? SO funny.
"Oh I am so glad that we agree, darling," Marion smiled as she finally tucked back in to her mice pie. "Why, you must introduce us sometime. Perhaps all three of us can have tea together." Oh yes, Hogwarts cuisine really was divine. Oh how she had missed it. How many years had it been now?

"That iiiiiis true," she mused as she sipped on her pumpkin juice. "I do not remember my housemates being quite so rude when I was a student however. I pity the poor fool who is the Head of Hufflepuff House. That one student," she continued as she pointed her fork in the girl's direction. "SIIIIIIIIMPLY appalling."
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixRising
Oh good, she understood that about kids being kids. But then, Marion went on about the girl, who was a Hufflepuff and saying something about pitying the fool who is Head of Hufflepuff House. "Um..." she started to say, looking awkwardly from her water goblet to the girl to Marion and back to her water goblet. "I'm Head of Hufflepuff. And really, they just need guiding. Some of the students, they just ... they come from homes, and they feel privileged. Unsure of proper behavior. She's new." Not that newness was any excuse for rudeness, but it did explain that she wasn't accustomed to the Hogwarts ways yet.
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Old 09-10-2012, 01:26 AM   #50 (permalink)



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Headmistress Truebridge in Professor Lafay's office:

Quote:
Originally Posted by BanaBatGirl View Post
Would she care to have a seat? No she would not. However, Anastasia was curious to see how Hecate Lafay--- who had a file in the HM Chambers larger than Peeves' ---handled discipline issues. So she sat, smoothing out her skirt as she politely crossed her feet at the ankles and turned her attention to the children being reprimanded.

Was this about that scuffle at the Slytherin table during the feast? Annie frowned and touched her brooch as she watched the girls.
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