*hugs back*

omg!!! that was just soooooooooooooooo good.
great post
i don't think it is unmanly for a guy to cry. it shows that he has feelings and its hard to keep things bottled up and its good to let it out every once in a while.
PAMS

Roshni

ZOMG! That was fantastic! Mione, you are a brilliant writer! I'm on the edge of my seat...PAMS!
Poor Ronnikins...broken hearts suck...

Can't wait for the next post!!

Mioneeeeeeeeeeeee...*looks around* Hmm...
Hope you post soon! This is awesome!
Shan

Where are you? I need a post! Ha ha! Please?

<3 Cai

I agree!!!!
PAMS

-Happy

^mmhmm .. I agree as well!!

Cait xxo

Hi everyone I am so sorry I've been gone so long. But I've been super busy because school started last week and then band every Tuesday and Thursday and football game Friday and than competiton on Saturday (my first one is this week yay!!). And the teachers have just been laying down the homework! I already had to do an essay today due friday and a packet of papers...I'm so tired lol But it is only going to get worse because I start ballet class on Wed. next week. Ekkk. But I promise, I promise! I will have atleast, at the very least, one post for you every week. I really am sorry. Hopefully this first week of full on busyness was a flook. I have been itching to write but I haven't had the time...I got my paper finished today and my packet done last night so all I have to do is write one more paper and I'm done with those for atleast a couple weeks so I probably will have some free time to write more. It's a good thing I wrote alot before school started because if not I wouldn't have anything to post! I would reply to all your comments but I have to go study for a States and Capitals test...whoopie! So thanks everyone *huggles and smoochies you all*

Okay here is the post...it's a long one too! Enjoy!! Also, everyone's FF that I'm reading (and if you do have an FF and I'm not reading it...what is it?!?! ) I'm sorry I haven't commented or read posts. I will do that hopefully tomorrow!!


The train jerked into action as it left the station. Hermione looked at the door of the compartment expecting someone would come join her, but it remained still.

Shrugging, Hermione placed her trunk and bags up into the holders and set Crookshanks in the seat beside her. “Hey Crookshanks, how are you doing?” she said as she opened his basket and took him out. Hermione held Crookshanks close and petted him lazily as she watched the buildings zoom past the window. She had no idea how long she had sat there staring out the window till it started to grow dim and the buildings had changed into tall foreboding trees. Crookshanks had fallen asleep in her arms. Snuggling closer to the chair and Crookshanks, she tried to fall asleep as well.

But for the life of her she couldn’t. She was restless about what lay ahead of her…and especially behind. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Ron’s sorrowful face looking at her. All she could feel where Ron’s arms as he embraced her during their last hug. She could even remember the tingling sensation she felt as he came so close to kissing her. So close.

Why did she step away? Before she knew it her feet were caring her away from Ron and towards her bags. And why, why, did she punch his arm?

Hermione racked her Crookshanks-free hand through her hair as she groaned. “You idiot,” She softly hit her head against her palm, “he was going to kiss you! You!” she grounded out the last word. Too irritated with herself to even consider sleeping, Hermione continued to stare out the window.

“I just don’t understand why I moved away?” she said aloud to the empty compartment as if she was continuing a conversation. “Yes I’ll admit it. How he makes me feels scares the **** out of me. When I don’t have those blasted nightmares I dream of him…” Is this why she couldn’t be happy? Was it all because she wasn’t with him?

Hermione shook her head in disbelief. “No it can’t be. Ron and I are past this. He doesn’t love me that way anyway. He said himself he didn’t want me to leave all because he would be lonely. Well as soon as Ginny and Harry are back at home he won’t be alone. So Ron has nothing to worry about.”

Back when she was leaving the Burrow she had finally admitted to herself that she loved Ron. And she knew deep down, that it was one of the reasons she had had to leave. She couldn’t give Ron half of a person, which was exactly what she was right now. But that was only if he wanted her at all. Her emotions were running wild and she had no idea what direction they were going in. Hermione knew that getting away from her life, taking a much needed break, would help her.

Ever since her first year in Hogwarts she had changed so much. But especially the last two years. Hermione closed her eyes. She is just so tired of it all, fighting and running. That is why, after this trip, she is leaving her job as an Auror. Yes it paid very well; she never had to work again if she didn’t want to. But in all reality it was as if she has been an Auror for the past 8 ½ years of her life. Yes, it was part of who she was. Being at Harry’s side was where she was meant to be. Her entire life was turned upside down ever since that Halloween night those 8 years ago, and she kind of liked it. But there was more to her than just fighting. Now that the rest of the world was going on with their lives since Voldemort’s downfall, it was her turn. Those eight years were only part of her journey, as was this.

Hermione opened her eyes and looked at her reflection in the window. She didn’t even recognize herself sometimes, she was so different. Her cheeks had thinned out and her face no longer held any baby fat. Her brown eyes seemed larger but the color darker, no longer the color of fresh apple cider but a rich caramel. She had slight bags underneath her eyes from lack of sleep and worry. They held a sorrow that even she couldn’t place. Hermione’s peach colored lips had filled out and her cheekbones were more noticeable. Her hair had smoothed out from a frizzy mass to soft waves that framed her lovely face. She may not have grown taller over the years but her figured had grown more curvy and womanly. Physically, the years had been good to her. But emotionally…well she would get there. Time fixed everything didn’t it? And that’s what this trip was for…time. She became what she is over time so it can help her grow in other ways too.

She stared at her own reflection as if trying to figure out the world’s most difficult puzzle. There was an ache in her chest that had been there since she walked onto the train, since she had said goodbye to Ron.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she realized how she was so very alone. But it was her own fault, she reminded herself. She made the choice to leave, and even now as she felt she could die from the quiet, she did not regret it. It was something she had to do, and something she had to do alone. It was inevitable. She had always had someone in her life to turn to, her parents, her friends, anyone.

But even now she couldn’t even remember what it was like to just lie in her Mother’s arms without a care in the world. Every chance she had away from school she was usually with Harry and Ron, figuring out some adventure or helping Harry through one of his more troubled times. And times when she has at home she was so preoccupied in her own problems to even think twice about her parents and spending time with them. All those times she could have been with her parents and wasn’t had come back to haunt her.

She had spent a month with them after they had been released from Saint Mungo’s fully healed. All Hermione had wanted was to be with her parents. Though nightmares had visited her and letters from Harry, Ron, and Ginny kept everything else that was going on in the world very much alive to her. So as soon as that month had past she was dragged back to the harsh reality of the world and pulled back to work. Back to the world she lived in and everything she had to do.

Consequently she was almost glad to get away from her childhood home. She almost couldn’t bear to be in her parents’ presence. They remind her of times that are long gone, an innocence that is never going to come back, those times when she had lived in glorious ignorance. That hurt too much. She isn’t the same little girl they use to know, and they haven’t accepted that. They probably never will. Her parent’s wanted her to forget the world she now lived in. That was how they all had gotten captured.

Her parent’s had come to convince her that this War had nothing to with her and that she was too good and precious of a little girl to risk her life fighting something she had not caused. She tried to argue her point and all the yelling and confusion drew attention to the house. And before Hermione could even register what was happening, they were under attack. Her parents and she were taken prisoner and she was tied to a tree and had to watch as the Death Eaters slowly tortured her parents. They mocked and hit her, one man had even tried to rape her before the Leader pushed him away telling him they would deal with her later. So many regrets and memories had plagued her as she screamed and yelled for helping. The only sound filling her ears was the sounds of her parents’ screaming. After what seemed hours, her Mother had finally passed out and lay on the ground beside her Father. Hermione had thought they were dead and sobbed uncontrollably as the Death Eaters untied the rope that held her to the tree.

They dragged her half dressed by her bound hands away from the tree and they made a circle around her, getting ready to torture—to kill—her. But she didn’t care. She just laid face down on the ground crying her heart out for her parents, “Please forgive me…I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me…” A particularly rotund Death Eater kicked her in the stomach causing her to grunt in pain, “You haven’t felt anything yet you damn mudblood.” He raised his wand and shouted “CRUCIO!”

Pain like any other pulled at every part of Hermione’s body, she screamed in agony. When the pain had subdued, she felt as if she had run a thousand miles and would never be able to breathe again. She closed her eyes in a silent prayer and she waited for them to strike again. And oh, how they did. After three more attacks the pain didn’t ebb away and she felt as if she would feel this way forever. Again, the rotund Death Eater shouted the curse and Hermione screamed. But, it was ended more quickly this time. She heard noises all around her: shouting, spells, and the sound of bodies hitting the ground. After what seemed to be hours, but in truth only fifteen minutes, the noises stopped suddenly and there was a peaceful silence around her. But for the life of her she couldn’t open her eyes. Hermione heard worried voices above her. A deep baritone voice seemed closer than the rest, a warm breathe danced across her face as she heard her name being whispered. Hands ran along her body, searching for something. “She has some nasty bruises and cuts but I see nothing life threatening. Hermione wake up” She felt hands gently shake her shoulders, “…hurry go get Lupin.” Soon she felt older hands on her cheek and than a wand tip on her temple; a voice whispered something over her. All of a sudden the world opened up before her and she couldn’t stand the light. Blinking her eyes furiously, Hermione adjusted to the light. Hovering above her was Ron with Harry standing right behind him. She sat bolt up and scanned everywhere around her. Not seeing her parent’s anywhere she started to cry. “Where are my parent’s bodies? Where did they take them?” she tried to get up but Ron pushed her back down. “Hermione, your parents aren’t dead. They have been taken to Saint Mungos.” Hermione’s heart had leapt and she threw herself in Ron’s arms and buried her face in his chest and just cried out everything she felt. She felt someone, probably Harry, place a warm blanket around her bare and bruised shoulders. Quickly all emotion drained away from her crying and the warm blanket and Ron’s embrace made her drowsy, she fell into a deep sleep. Everything following after that was all a blur of light and voices, she doubted if she would ever remember what happened.

Even now when she looked back at it all what hurt the most was that she could protect herself but she couldn’t protect her parents. After that night she was on her guard every moment. Spells and enchantments had been cast around her parents’ ward to keep them safe. She told them how she had to go back and they told her “…don’t go. You’ll be making the biggest mistake of your life. You have nothing to do with this Hermione. Came back with us and you won’t ever have to think on this again. Please don’t leave, you’re still our little girl.” Her heart had been ripped apart when they had said that. They didn’t realize that this was who she was, something she had to do. Nothing could have changed that. But even after they said this she couldn’t hate them. She loved them no matter what and checkup on them twice a month.

But they needed to realize that she has changed and is continuing to change. She never will be the same. After all she has seen and done, that was impossible.

The only people who could possibly understand were Harry, Ginny, and Ron. Oh, Ron. Hermione choked back her tears. He was the only person who made her feel safe anymore. The only one who could make her smile. Even though leaving him for his protection tore her heart apart it was for best. It had to be. She would just hurt him even more if she would have stayed and tried to cover everything up. There was no going back to how she use to be and she couldn’t cover up these terrible and glorious feelings. Hermione had to grow to love him. He deserved that. He deserved someone whole, everything she wasn’t.

Hermione closed her eyes as she remembered his bittersweet embrace. She let the tears fall while she laid her head back. “Only in time can I go back to be with you,”


♥

Hey! That was absolutely great! I loved it! But it was so sad... *tear* But I wish Hermione would stop acting so stupid... ha ha! If she loves Ron, then she should go to him... and he saved her too... anyway... PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS!!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW............................... ....

So beautiful!!!

PAMS

-Happy

great post
yet really sad, i wish she wud just go back or ron wud go after her so they can be together
PAMS

Roshni

p.s. - I have a fan fic. link in my siggie. "Harry Potter's Final Year". I'd love it if you read.

Mione, I'm so sorry! I'll be back really soon to read all the updates, and I'm positive that they're oh so great. (school has started!)

How beautiful and how sad! Very good writing! I can't wait to read more!!!!!!

Mione! That was absolutely amazing! The amount of emotion and feeling you put into it... ZOMG! You will never cease to amaze me with your writing!
Good luck with your papers, etc and don't worry if you can't post as often as you'd like to. We'll still be here for you!
With love and huggles and smoochies forever,
Shan

New Reader!!!!! OMG this is soooooooooo good!!!!!!! Kinda tear-jerking too! Poor Hermione! Ron too! I don't think it's "unmanly" for a guy to cry. I think it shows they're strong because they aren't embarrassed to show their feelings, but never mind what i think. PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS!!!! Hermione needs to go back! She needs to be with Ron! Harry and Ginny got married...aww!!!!!!!!! I'm a Hr/R and H/G shipper all the way!! PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS!!!!!!!

~Lili

that's so sweet i hope to read another post i thought it was beautiful.
-sarah

Heyy!! Thank you so much! *hug* You'll just have to wait and see...

*huggs* Thank so much Happy!!!


Thank you tons! *hug* If only life were so simple lol.

I will have to read it this weekend!!! I don't have time tonight or tomorrow night but I'm off from school Friday and then I have a free Saturday ahead of me! So I will def. be reading it Thanks for telling me and for reading mine!!


Emma it's okay! I completly understand. School has been so hectic with me too. Then band and ballet and...well you get the picture lol. I know how you feel. Read them when you can or even not at all. Just the fact that you droped in to tell me makes me all happy! lol Miss ya girly.


Thank you!!!!! *hug* I will have more for you very soon! I promise!!


Thank you so much... lol *glomp*
Thanks, I need it. Thankfully right now I have no papers, and no packets. I had a couple of tests this week and a couple I know for next week. But I'm trying not to think about them.lol.
*huggles&smoochies*


I luff luff luff you too! Thats okay, I understand in the fullest sense. I have been so busy I can't post as often as I want. And I have no idea what my FC are doing and I'm just lucky to keep up with the FFs I'm reading. Are you the same way? It's driving me crazy! lol Ohh school and activities rule our lives... *hug*

Hello Lili!!!! Thanks so much for reading my story! I'm sooooo happy you like it! *dances* And, in advance, if I ever forget your name I am very sorry. I'm just terrible with names. But I think your should be easy to remember because lilies are my favorite flower lol. Glad to hear you don't think it is "unmanly" because I don't. I just hate when guys say stuff like "Ohh I've never cried before." First off thats can't be true and what are you a machine???!! lol. So you think Hermy should be with Ron?? hmmm *ponders* Well you will see. Yeah I love the Harry and Ginny ship. It is just to cute *hug* Thanks agian!! I will have the next post up very soon!!


*hug* Thank you The next one will be up as soon as possible!!


Thank you everyone for being patient with me! I luff you all!! *huggles* Thanks for sticking around even though I haven't been able to post as often as I wish I was. Or just flat out be on SS as often as I was during the summer. If only I would have started this sooner lol. Oh well. I have a couple posts ready to be posted waiting for you all so you don't need to worry about me running out of story on you. I will post it maybe tomorrow night after band practice or early Friday afternoon (for me that is...as I said before I don't know all the time diffrences so I don't know what it would be for people not living in Eastern US... ). Friday I don't have school and I might possibly be able to do some writing and I also have to go shopping with some friends for some gifts for Seniors. But I really am trying to get on her as much as possible. It is just proving to be very hard. I think when band is over that my schedule will be less hectic and I will be able to get on here more...hopefully. Well I have to go, as I need to shower and study English. Toodles and thanks agian. You all rox!!

*tackleshnugglesandsmoochiesthenrunniesaway*

*Mione

Anytime, and it's not like very many of us have time to come on every day.... atleast I don't, so timing isn't an issue.

PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! !!

-Happy

Please post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always put my name after I comment, so please don't forget my name!!!!!! lol, if u do it's ok. I don't hold those kind of grudges. I don't blame you about not being able to get on and write, since I'm a sophmore, I have tons of homework. Please post tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this story!! Yes I think Ron and Hermione should be together. About guys being machines, they think they are, but they aren't. PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS!!!!

Lili

Btw, lilies are my fave flower too. Ha, I wonder why?

Alright...it is offical you all rock. And yeah I know I said I'd post on Friday and it is Monday. But I truly didn't have time. Well enough with the excuses. Because you don't want to be reading about me! Nah you want some Hermy and Ron action....*cough* Well even if you don't want to read THAT I don't blam you. I don't know about this post. Tell me what you think!!! Comments? Critique?



The train ride to Paris went quickly and soon Hermione was boarding an airplane on her way to Russia, St. Petersburg to be exact. This was Hermione’s first time on an airplane, she didn’t really feel scared though. She didn’t have any emotional space to spare for being frightened. She had spent the last day and half on a train thinking of nothing but Ron and what lay before her. A chance at a life she never expected. Let alone something she thought she would ever want. It was almost to overwhelming. Who would have ever thought that she would be going across the world. To Russia no less. Her excitement burst from her as she sighed in happiness. Doing this felt so right.

Hermione reached the woman checking tickets, she asked Hermione something in French. “I’m sorry I don’t speak French.” Hermione answered back, hoping that she would understand.

“Sorie. I saaid tickouts an pasepurt, pwease.” The woman’s French accent was very thick it was almost as hard to understand her in English as it was in French.

“Thank you. Here you are,” Hermione showed the woman her passport and handed over the ticket. The woman tore off half of it and handed the other half back, “Haff a wunderfuul flight Mizz.”

“And you,” Hermione nodded and walked into the Jet way carrying her carry-on bag and Crookshanks in her arms. Finding her window seat in Coach, see sat down and placed her bag on the floor in front of her. Stretching out she tried to make herself comfortable before the person who was going to sit beside her arrived.

Hermione opened the top of Crookshank’s basket and petted the top of his head, “I’m sorry Crookshanks. I’ll take you out as soon as we take off, alright?” He purred in response. “That’s a good kitty.” She scratched behind his ears once more than closed the mesh lid.

While waiting for the entire plane to be seated, Hermione took to staring out the window at the runways.

“Excuse me,” said a deep, and very masculine, voice “is this seat taken?”

Hermione’s head whipped around and just stared at him for a moment. She couldn’t remember seeing a man that good looking ever before. He had light blonde hair that was streaked with a light tinge of brown, it was styled very severely so it lied exactly how it should above his gorgeous eyes. Which were a dark blue at the pupil and extended to a baby blue on the outside. His perfect lips were curved in a secretive smile. He was so tall that he had to hunch over so that his head wouldn’t scrape the top of the plane. His broad shoulders took up the length between the seat in front of him and the one he was going to sit in. His clothes were in the lasts style: a pair of khaki jeans and a Navy blue button down shirt, the t