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07-01-2013, 03:22 AM
| | |  Ministry's Extendable Ear
Welcome to the Ministry's Extendable Ear!
We've all done it, we've all had that moment where we peruse the RP threads and come across something that is SO funny it makes you spit water at the screen and have to come up with hasty excuses for laughing at your computer. This is the place where those witty little quips, quotes and snippets can be posted for the enjoyment of others! Share the love and the lulz! Just as there is a special place over in the SS Hogwarts Haven for you to keep those posts that are just too good to lose in the School RPG, now you have a place to do just that here in the Ministry of Magic! Keep in mind that you are not to post your OWN snippets as that is not in the spirit of the RP!
Please remember to abide by the following guidelines or your posts may be deleted.
1. All quotes must come from the Ministry RPG. In the case of employees being RPed outside the Ministry RPG, they can still be quoted, just so long as it is the Ministry characters. No KA, DA, or school character quotations here, please.
2. Post only quotes. Comments can be submitted in the chat thread or via private message/visitor messages.
3. Please don't post your OWN character's quotes here. The point is to share some funnies and some love that others come up with. You can include your own character for context but the focus should be on someone ELSE being funny. After all, if you post something funny, someone else can pop it here!
4. In the event that something memorable occurs and it is either a large body of text (more than 6/7 sentences) or a collaboration of multiple posts by multiple people, then please submit it under a textcut or spoiler (you do them the same way!). textcuts: can be achieved by typing in the following: [textcut=type something here]place what you wish to share here[/textcut] Example:
Have fun and please remember SS rules apply at all times! | |
07-01-2013, 01:03 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Demiguise
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Hobbiton
Posts: 24,244
Hogwarts RPG Name:
???
Ravenclaw
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Ronnie Thurkell
Gryffindor Seventh Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Stella Jarsdel
Transportation
Ministry RPG Name:
Calyx Morgan-Bott
Ecological Protection
  x12  x12
|  lives in a hobbit hole || Ern and Touz's Nuzzle || roflysst || looking at a seed packet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lollipop!  What did it mean if there was an explosion in your office on your first day?
There had to be something Divination-y about it. It wasn't exactly an common occurrence, right? After the tour, it made sense to just avoid the lab, right? Leave it to the not-so-new people to take care of it. Cleaning up an explosion was more of a second day on the job sort of thing anyway.
A couple of people inside the conference room. Great. It would be a lot easier to enter and empty room and introduce herself as people came in. Of course, she wouldn't be alone anyway, thanks to the dude with the kid who'd made her pay for a crystal ball she couldn't afford and the tour guide. What was she supposed to say?
She didn't want to just be rude and say nothing - she was only rude when she saw it necessary. And when it came to that Eleanor person. Persephone smiled, though it could easily be mistaken for a grimace and just chose the nearest empty seat. It was a good thing this job came with a decent wage, otherwise there'd be a blurry line that would look suspiciously Sephy-like zooming through the door.
Bolded parts by me because I lol'd. 
__________________
love is like a letter wrote :: and life is like an envelope
be careful who you give it to :: they might not give it back to you | 
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07-07-2013, 01:10 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Ramora
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Valhalla
Posts: 5,651
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Kalie Carter-Hope Gellar
Hufflepuff Sixth Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Ronan Victor Carter
Law Enforcement
Ministry RPG Name:
Alfred Ludovic Devereaux
Accidents & Catastrophes x7 x4
| Dem Carters | even 🕊🕊 have pride | | Expecto PAWtronum 🐈 | U-NA-GI
Someone's on fire 'round here figuratively, anyway  Quote:
Originally Posted by Lollipop! ‘How to Know You’ve Made a Mistake’ a book by Persephone Walters. Chapter One: you find yourself dressed in a ninja costume in the middle of a forest attacking aurors. The ninja darted behind a tree, much more uncomfortable being in the line of spells than her fellow BAMFs, it seemed. The rather talented dude sending spells at her employees needed to be taken DOWN.
...Or up.
Yes, you were after getting an anti-gravity charm sent your way. HA. Bolding by me, mmmhmmm
__________________ Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You?
You are Salt! | |
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07-07-2013, 07:41 AM
|
#4 (permalink)
|  Wizarding World RPG Admin
Minister for Magic
DoM & MO
Alley Proprietor
  Romanian Longhorn
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: The Paths
Posts: 39,343
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Anna Walles
Hufflepuff Sixth Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sage Ransom-Kruus
Slytherin Sixth Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Charles Hollingberry
Minister's Office
Ministry RPG Name:
Airey Flamsteed
Mysteries
Diagon Alley Employee:
Zachaël Lufkin
Owl Post
x12 x12
| astronomizzle ♧ gryffinDORK | & the rest is drag ♣ #badluckDerf
looks like we all just can't get enough of the girl Quote:
Originally Posted by Lollipop! Well, this was definitely her last (and first) kidnapping and she was very glad for her disguise when she accidentally fist-pumped in victory when her boss POP!ped away with their... victim? Why were they even doing this again? Some kinda beef with the MLE department? They didn't like aurors or something? That's cool, as long as Sephy was getting paid, she was happy.
Nodding at her fellow ninja she pushed off from the tree and focused. Apparating was never easy and not exactly her idea of fun. She usually splinched. Once she'd left a toe or two behind and kept bloody falling over with the balance. No way was that happening again. Not dressed like this. Ninjas just didn't fall over. It had to be against the rules.
She was spinning on the spot and had risen an inch when the red spell hit her, straight in her chest. She didn't even have a chance to widen her eyes. She just fell backwards onto the leaves, not even aware enough to be thankful that her ninja costume was protecting her hair from the moss. bolded bits made me smile and giggle 
__________________
When you’re stuck in a moment and your spark has been stolen .................................................. ...........
this is our time to own it, so own it.....................................
baby we were born with fire and gold in our eyes | |
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07-09-2013, 08:41 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Ramora
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Valhalla
Posts: 5,651
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Kalie Carter-Hope Gellar
Hufflepuff Sixth Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Ronan Victor Carter
Law Enforcement
Ministry RPG Name:
Alfred Ludovic Devereaux
Accidents & Catastrophes x7 x4
| Dem Carters | even 🕊🕊 have pride | | Expecto PAWtronum 🐈 | U-NA-GI
Who knew Auror training could be so funny? Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubbles All chaos broke loose once more. More darkness powder, people taking off their shoes, all that training junk. Though, Kennedy had expected training differently. Sort of the kind his father put him through when he was younger. The kind that got you sweating the first five minutes and dragging yourself across the ground. That sort of thing.
This...this was new. New was...exciting. He heard Simon's incantation and decided to tryout his other senses instead of relying only on sight. Since sight was pretty much a fail right now. As he concentrated, Kennedy heard some rustling. If that was from his co-workers or more ninjas he wasn't sure.
He heard Joshua. Hmmm. "They've got the element of surprise and obviously know the grounds better than us. We should concentrate on where they come from." Like listening. Listening was good. Besides, they weren't being shot at with spells, yet, so they could take this as their chance to channel where more company was. "Then attack." Attacking was good too. But that was his opinion. He turned to Simon.
Whatcha think, buddy?
For a brief moment, he turned around away from Simon and Genevieve. Just like that Kennedy got lost in the fogginess and his foot tripped over an uprooted root, and bumped into something (Aspen). At first he thought it was just a tree. A small tree. Then...it wasn't a tree. He squinted his eyes, then they widened in surprised.
"Aspen?" She was drowned in vines and...stuff. He would have compliment on what a great tree costume she was wearing had it been close to Halloween or if this wasn't a training exercise.
Kennedy poked her with his wand. Aspen looked kind of...clueless? Confused? "You okay? Come on, ninjas are out to get us." He cast a severing charm, concentrating enough to just cut the vines and roots. No need to cut the newbie on the first day.
Plus, he wouldn't dare harm this Odessa. He might end up getting headbutted by a Slytherin. Red bolding by me 
__________________ Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You?
You are Salt! | |
| | |
10-01-2013, 03:09 AM
|
#6 (permalink)
| | Ramora
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Valhalla
Posts: 5,651
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Kalie Carter-Hope Gellar
Hufflepuff Sixth Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Ronan Victor Carter
Law Enforcement
Ministry RPG Name:
Alfred Ludovic Devereaux
Accidents & Catastrophes x7 x4
| Dem Carters | even 🕊🕊 have pride | | Expecto PAWtronum 🐈 | U-NA-GI
This from Wes Ferguson at the trial: Quote:
Originally Posted by BanaBatGirl Yes, yes, Sinner Windbagworth was allowed his chance to speak. Wes made eye contact with Bones, just so he could roll his own to show what he thought of the two 'masterminds' on the floor, but then he looked to Windbagworth and gave him a motion to go on.
Might as well. It wasn't like a few more minutes were going to drag out this case any longer.
__________________ Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You?
You are Salt! | |
| | |
12-04-2013, 06:31 AM
|
#7 (permalink)
| Wizarding World RPG Admin
Minister for Magic
DoM & MO
Alley Proprietor
Romanian Longhorn
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: The Paths
Posts: 39,343
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Anna Walles
Hufflepuff Sixth Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sage Ransom-Kruus
Slytherin Sixth Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Charles Hollingberry
Minister's Office
Ministry RPG Name:
Airey Flamsteed
Mysteries
Diagon Alley Employee:
Zachaël Lufkin
Owl Post
x12 x12
| astronomizzle ♧ gryffinDORK | & the rest is drag ♣ #badluckDerf
WHY isn't this in here yet?!  Quote:
Originally Posted by TakemetotheBurrow
The red head crept forward, eyeing the man curiously as she assessed the situation. After a moment or two, she came up with the only solution she could think of. "William, I think you'll need to remove your pants." Perhaps she could use some of the ruined fabrics hanging on her walls to make a makeshift dressing room or something. In any case, at least these would get William's legs out of harms way and allow the creature to stay hidden within the material. Perhaps then they could maneuver it into a cage.
"I suggest you start by removing your shoes...slowly."
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahlooo
Wait.... what? Harmony wanted him to take his pants off? Right now? Really? And was that a completely innocent request? January gave her a curious look. "Perhaps... there is an alternative?" January wasn't quite sure she wanted to see William's underwear today.
January quietly summoned an empty cage from the holding room and caught it in her hands. She carefully set it on the ground near William's foot. "Maybe you could try immobilizing or stunning it from... inside your pants." Merlin. What a situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BanaBatGirl
His mouth literally dropped open when his boss asked him to remove his pants. Wasn't there some kind of law against that in the uh workplace????? Not that he was complaining, exactly, except maybe he was. They were standing in the middle of a hallway, here. Hello.
I dunno know about you, but I say good call boss lady! 
__________________
When you’re stuck in a moment and your spark has been stolen .................................................. ...........
this is our time to own it, so own it.....................................
baby we were born with fire and gold in our eyes | |
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02-19-2014, 03:49 PM
|
#8 (permalink)
| Wizarding World RPG Admin
Minister for Magic
DoM & MO
Alley Proprietor
Romanian Longhorn
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: The Paths
Posts: 39,343
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Anna Walles
Hufflepuff Sixth Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sage Ransom-Kruus
Slytherin Sixth Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Charles Hollingberry
Minister's Office
Ministry RPG Name:
Airey Flamsteed
Mysteries
Diagon Alley Employee:
Zachaël Lufkin
Owl Post
x12 x12
| astronomizzle ♧ gryffinDORK | & the rest is drag ♣ #badluckDerf
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fira He cleared his throat.
"Ahemm..." was she angry? "Sorry for being...late, boss...Emily." Maybe she would be less angry if he used her first name to ease the...air. "I had to find a bathroom. I drank too much tea at breakfast i suppose so...bathroom was needed urgently. It took so much time, sorry. And um..."
He eyed everyone in the place and turned back to his boss before going on. "And i apologize everybody for choosing a random...place for that. I know it won't add anything good to this already smelling area but i was being late. I guess you guys understand that."
Did they?
Eh... 
there are no words, Josh Carter. There are NO words
__________________
When you’re stuck in a moment and your spark has been stolen .................................................. ...........
this is our time to own it, so own it.....................................
baby we were born with fire and gold in our eyes | |
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02-22-2014, 02:39 PM
|
#9 (permalink)
| | Guest |
Quote:
Originally Posted by HogwartsStudent11 Cynthia de la Rosa did not have a job requiring fieldwork, but she thought it would improve her understanding of the current problem. So on her lunch break, at 11:53, she entered the ladies' bathroom, going down the stairs with a hand on the rail. Such an odd choice of an entrance for the Ministry.
The bathroom was old and dirty, probably not ever entered by muggles. She slipped into one of the seven stalls, and the hinges creaked as if the door might fall. Cynthia rummaged in her rather large pockets for what she was looking for until she found it. She dropped the golden token in, then another one for good measure. The toilet gurgled in an unhappy manner.
Cynthia supposed she'd have to step in. She was a little afraid, though she knew that was silly. She gingerly picked up the hems of beige robes and plopped in. Surprisingly enough, she was still dry, which felt weird to her. The toilet hissed as it was flushed and spurted water everywhere in sight. When it hit Cynthia it instantly evaporated, still refusing to get her wet.
"Ugh," the witch groaned, surveying the aftermath. Then she heard footsteps and froze. Turn around slowly, she thought and her body obeyed. There was a muggle.
"What's happening?" it asked.
Cynthia searched for a reasonable answer. "Um...I...I fell in."
"You know, I'm just gonna...go away, I think..." But the muggle woman didn't just yet. Cynthia was in trouble. The Ministry's problem was worse than she'd thought. Quote:
Originally Posted by Becky Charles had wanted to check the public toilets so he could report back the condition of them if he was asked. They were working on trying to get back into the Ministry, too. But he noticed his coworker, Cynthia, entering the ladies too. Frowning, he decided after a few minutes to go after her. Whether there was a muggle down there or not. When he reached the toilet level, he found Cynthia trying to come up with an excuse. "Oh, there you are. Come on. We need you to take your medicine." Charles coaxed gently, giving Cynthia a look of 'go with it and come with me'.
Being insane was the only reasonable explanation to a muggle for someone to be standing in a toilet.  /loves on Charles and Cynthia xD
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08-12-2014, 05:12 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Guest |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Becky Brown eyes were fixed on Gidyun as he spoke, but they flicked down to his papers as he noted about not having a repeat of the last world cup. That had been nasty. "Can do." Charles answered, but he was wondering what the snappiness was about. Maybe his wife was torturing him and making him sleep in the garden? He did look a little like he hadn't slept much. Heh. Okay, so he'd just get everything re- "Excuse me? Mental Health Checks?" What were they all about?! He'd been far too busy focusing on getting his paperwork done and catching up with people to get a mental health check! Also, WHO GAVE A 50 SOMETHING YEAR OLD A MENTAL HEALTH CHECK? Seriously? He'd rather be tasked with doing the moonwalk on the milky way than going through one of those hell sessions.
Eva and I were giggling this morning at this | |
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12-17-2017, 03:47 PM
|
#11 (permalink)
| Wizarding World RPG Admin
Minister for Magic
DoM & MO
Alley Proprietor
Romanian Longhorn
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: The Paths
Posts: 39,343
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Anna Walles
Hufflepuff Sixth Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sage Ransom-Kruus
Slytherin Sixth Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Charles Hollingberry
Minister's Office
Ministry RPG Name:
Airey Flamsteed
Mysteries
Diagon Alley Employee:
Zachaël Lufkin
Owl Post
x12 x12
| astronomizzle ♧ gryffinDORK | & the rest is drag ♣ #badluckDerf
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krel Ansell
I’m gonna die... he thought forlornly as he tried to struggle against the hold on him. I’m gonna die and there’s so much I haven’t done. His thoughts then shifted through everything he had wanted to do…taste Spam in Hawaii, buy a house, munch on Rattlesnake in the American West, get a pet that wasn’t a fish, try Escamoles in Mexico, create that hybrid orchid/lily, eat udon in Japan, swim in a waterfall fed pool, sample jellied moose nose in Alaska, kiss someone, find out what turtle soup like or if it even was made from turtle…
Lost in his food doomed thoughts, Adam floated towards the black hole, arms stretched out in front of him as if he were Superman flying across the sky; a pose he might have found funny in other circumstances. It was sad really, Adam was too young with too voracious an appetite (for life) for him to die. He had always thought he’d die because he eat a bad Fugu, not because he’d BE eaten by something.
such priorities 
__________________
When you’re stuck in a moment and your spark has been stolen .................................................. ...........
this is our time to own it, so own it.....................................
baby we were born with fire and gold in our eyes | |
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