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| | Italiano (Italian) Aiuto, regole, guide, lezioni private e le informazioni in italiano. | 
08-06-2008, 04:16 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Language Support Witch
Ministry Department Head
Italian and FanFic Mod
DMFC SponsorVeela
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,209
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Professor Hecate Lafay
Graduated
Ministry RPG Name:
Gina Latorta
International Cooperation
Diagon Alley Employee:
Atropos Trelawney
Dark Wizard & KA Shop owner |  Jokes - Battute e Barzellette The Harpy of Hogwarts | | Bimba di Serpeverde
In Italian, "una battuta" literally means a blow, or stroke, but figuratively is a frase spiritosa, a witty reply or remark.
This is a place for you to post jokes in Italian. ALL SS RULES APPLY - Clean jokes only please.
I'll start!
p.s. If the joke is funny in english too, include the translation, or send me a pm and I'll translate it.
Last edited by Droo; 08-07-2008 at 03:19 PM.
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08-06-2008, 04:18 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Language Support Witch
Ministry Department Head
Italian and FanFic Mod
DMFC SponsorVeela
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,209
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Professor Hecate Lafay
Graduated
Ministry RPG Name:
Gina Latorta
International Cooperation
Diagon Alley Employee:
Atropos Trelawney
Dark Wizard & KA Shop owner | The Harpy of Hogwarts | | Bimba di Serpeverde
Italiano
L’ipocondria è l’unica malattia che non ho.
English
Hypocondria is the only illness I don't possess.
Last edited by Droo; 08-26-2008 at 05:51 PM.
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08-07-2008, 03:17 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Language Support Witch
Ministry Department Head
Italian and FanFic Mod
DMFC SponsorVeela
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,209
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Professor Hecate Lafay
Graduated
Ministry RPG Name:
Gina Latorta
International Cooperation
Diagon Alley Employee:
Atropos Trelawney
Dark Wizard & KA Shop owner | The Harpy of Hogwarts | | Bimba di Serpeverde
Italiano
Il maestro fa agli alunni, "Bambini questo il compito per casa, scrivete:" Quote: Il mio maestro prende 750 euro al mese di stipendio, sapendo che, spende 350 euro per la casa, 300 euro per mangiare, 100 euro per spese varie e divertimenti. Domanda: Come si può fare per essere promossi? "Fatevi aiutare anche dai genitori!" English
The professor tells his students, "Kids, for your homework, write:" Quote: My teacher makes 750 euro dollars a month, knowing that he spends 350 euros on his mortgage, 300 euros on food and 100 euros on various necesseties and fun. Question: What can I do to pass this grade? "Have your parents help you!"
Last edited by Droo; 08-26-2008 at 05:50 PM.
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08-08-2008, 07:17 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Language Support Witch
Ministry Department Head
Italian and FanFic Mod
DMFC SponsorVeela
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,209
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Professor Hecate Lafay
Graduated
Ministry RPG Name:
Gina Latorta
International Cooperation
Diagon Alley Employee:
Atropos Trelawney
Dark Wizard & KA Shop owner | The Harpy of Hogwarts | | Bimba di Serpeverde
Italiano
Albert Einstein una mattina, appena svegliato, spalanca la finestra e a torso nudo fa una diecina di piegamenti sulle braccia. Poi compiaciuto si ammira nello specchio e fa "Però... che fisico!" E la moglie "E' tutto relativo..."
English
One morning, Albert Einstein, just as he woke up, opens the window and, barechested, he does ten arm curls. Then, happy, he admires himself in the mirror and says "But... what a physique!" And he wife replied. "It's all relative." | |
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08-09-2008, 01:12 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Language Support Witch
Ministry Department Head
Italian and FanFic Mod
DMFC SponsorVeela
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,209
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Professor Hecate Lafay
Graduated
Ministry RPG Name:
Gina Latorta
International Cooperation
Diagon Alley Employee:
Atropos Trelawney
Dark Wizard & KA Shop owner | The Harpy of Hogwarts | | Bimba di Serpeverde
Italiano
Pierino va dalla mamma e le fa "Mamma! Mamma! Ho una notizia buona e una cattiva..."
"Inizia da quella buona, caro!"
"Allora quella buona è che ho preso dieci in classe!"
"Bravissimo!!! E quella cattiva?"
"Quella cattiva è che non è vero!!!"
English
Pierino goes to his mother and says "Mom! Mom! I have good news and bad news."
"Start with the good news dear."
"The good news is I got an A in class today."
"That's worderful! And your bad news?"
"The bad news is I'm lying."
Last edited by Droo; 08-26-2008 at 05:50 PM.
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08-26-2008, 05:50 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Language Support Witch
Ministry Department Head
Italian and FanFic Mod
DMFC SponsorVeela
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,209
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Professor Hecate Lafay
Graduated
Ministry RPG Name:
Gina Latorta
International Cooperation
Diagon Alley Employee:
Atropos Trelawney
Dark Wizard & KA Shop owner | The Harpy of Hogwarts | | Bimba di Serpeverde
Italiano
Professore - Mi sapete dire perché due rette parallele in geometria non si incontrano mai?
Studente - Perché non si sono mai date appuntamento?
English
Professor - Can anyone tell me why two parallelle lines never meet in Geometry?
Student - Because they never made an appointment? | |
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10-01-2008, 02:25 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Language Support Witch
Ministry Department Head
Italian and FanFic Mod
DMFC SponsorVeela
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 14,209
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Professor Hecate Lafay
Graduated
Ministry RPG Name:
Gina Latorta
International Cooperation
Diagon Alley Employee:
Atropos Trelawney
Dark Wizard & KA Shop owner | The Harpy of Hogwarts | | Bimba di Serpeverde
Italiano
L'avvocato e l'italiano
Un Avvocato ed un italiano sone sieduti accanto l'un l'altro su un viaggio a volo molto lungo. L'avvocato, che pensa che italiani siano cretini, chiede se l'italiano vuole giocare un gioco divertente.
L'italiano è stanco e vuole dormire, ma l'avvocato persiste, e dice "Le chiedo una domanda, e se lei non sa la risposta, mi paga solo $5; poui lei me ne chiede una, e se non so la risposta, la pagherò $500." Questo prende l'attenzione dell'italiano e decide di giocare.
L'avvocato fa la prima domanda. "Quant'è la distanza dalla terra alla luna?" L'italiano non dice una parola, tira fuori una banconota da cinque dollari, e lo da` all'avvocato.
Ora, è il turno dell'italiano. Chiede l'avvocato, "Cosa sale una collina con a tre gambe, e scende con quattro?" L'avvocato usa il suo computer portatile e ricerca tutti i riferimenti che si puo` trovare sull'internet. Invia degli e-mail a tutti i suoi amici, ma tutto inutilmente. Dopo che un'ora di ricercare, finalmente rinuncia. Sveglia l'italiano e gli da` $500. L'italiano intasca il $500 e ritorna a dormire.
L'avvocato sveglia l'italiano ancora e chiede, "Allora? Cosa sale una collina con a tre gambe e scende con quattro?"
L'italiano gli da' $5 e ritorna a dormire.
English
A Lawyer and an Italian
A lawyer and an Italian are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that Italians are so dumb that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if the Italian would like to play a fun game.
The Italian is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Italians attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' The Italian doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the Italian's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Italian and hands him $500. The Italian pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Italian up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The Italian reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
Don't mess with us Italians.
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