“Oi Moon-Face, tell me again why we’re doing this?”

“…If you’re not going to call me Moony, then you might as well use my name. We’re doing this to warn the future generations of students so they don’t make the same mistakes—“

“But Mooooooony, mistakes are half the fun!”

“…. It’s also our alternate assignment since YOU landed us in detention,” Remus grumbled.

“Oh yeah…Sorry.”

“No you’re not.”

“That hurts,” Sirius put a single-hand over his heart in mock-disdain. “Okay, I’m not.”

“Alright everyone ready?” James turned directly to Peter, “It is essential that we focus on our assigned targets.”

"Actually uh, guys… Maybe this isn’t such a good idea… I’m catching a cold."

"Nonsense, Peter-boy! James is right, we can’t pull this off without you,” Sirius chimed in. “Even Remus is helping!"

"Now that, that’s settled, everyone get under the cloak! Remember, I’ll take Slughorn, Remus has got Binns—"

“For the last time, James, you can’t throw snowballs at a ghost. They’re—“

“SHHH!! They’re coming!”

“Ready, Aim—“

“ACHOOOOOOOO!”

“Place your bets here, place your bets here!”

“Ten sickles that it’ll be under twenty seconds!” “No way! twenty sickles that it’ll take twenty-five!”

“…. Wormtail, I have a feeling I’m going to regret asking, but why in Merlin’s name are you gathering bets?”

“Sirius and James are throwing kneazles off the Astronomy tower and we’re betting on how long it will take for them to hit the ground,” Peter replied coolly, waving off the prefect badge on his friend’s robe. “Better put in your vote now, Moony!”

Sirius Black was in an absolute rage. He practically stomped all the way to the room, not even bothering to give the boy’s a warning as he flung open the door.

“WHO is responsible for THIS?” He asked, dangling a bundle of pink clothes in the air only to hear stifled snickering in response.

“Why don’t you just scourgify your robes like the rest of us?”

“Because Pettigrew, I like the warm, fresh feeling that…”

Again more snickering.

“I hate you all.”

“We love you too, Sirius!”

“The first step is admitting the problem, Moony.”

“Peter, for the last time. I don't have a chocolate problem,” the Prefect was trying exceptionally hard to keep his cool. This was absolutely ridiculous.

“You haven’t even got to say the words ‘I’ve got a problem’, you’ve just got to admit that you’re addicted.”

“Peter,” the Prefect spoke through gritted teeth. “This isn’t funny anymore.”

Peter shook his head, unwilling to succumb to Remus’ pleading, but Remus couldn’t take it anymore. So he launched.

“HEEEEEELP, I’M BEING ASSULTED BY AN ANGRY WEREWOLF!”

Peter had been waiting for this moment his whole Hogwarts career. Normally it was James’ job. When James couldn’t make it, he passed it over to Sirius. And when Sirius couldn’t make it, Remus took over. Remus hardly ever skipped class, so Peter hardly ever got the opportunity. But it was his time to shine.

So when Lily raised her hand to answer the question about color charms, Peter leaned over his desk and gave her raised hand a hardy high-five.

Five points to Peter.

But, “Five points from Gryffindor, Pettigrew.”

All Christmas presents were accounted for. He had gotten a bag of treats from Honeydukes for Peter, some books about something or another for Remus, he had already given Sirius his gift earlier this morning, and an emerald locket for Evans.

Normally this would’ve been his extent of gift giving. But this year James Potter sent off another special gift with the Potter-family-owl: A shampoo and conditioner set for Severus Snape.

Merry Christmas Snivellus. Give a good scrub behind your ears, yeah?

“Tell her some masked bloke will visit?” James offered.

“I already used that one last week,” Sirius shook his head as he crossed another idea off his parchment. He let out a long sigh, “being a seer is a lot harder than I thought it’d be.”

“Your death visions are always well done?”

“If I do another student death, we’d have lost the entire Hufflepuff population…. Though… I guess it’s about time we lost them anyways... It’s a wonder that they even made it this far.” He scribbled it down.

Remus walked into Gryffindor Tower, clearly angry. And Peter was giggling harder than ever. Normally Sirius and James handled pranks, but this one was all Pettigrew.

“JAMES! SIRIUS! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU TWO!” The Prefect walked up the stairs. In retrospect, maybe tampering with his quill before an exam was too devious. But Peter was going to get a promotion to head the pranking team; he could feel it. James and Sirius were sure to praise him for this… Well, if they got past Moony alive.

“In hindsight Moony, it sounded like a good idea at the time,” Sirius shrugged.

It seemed that Remus, however, was not as amused. “In hindsight??? Sirius, we’re sitting in detention…. AGAIN.”

“Lupin, please. I’m starting to warm up to this place. It’s like a second home. Besides, it’s only Tuesday, the week is young.”

How the werewolf got caught in this mess was beyond him. He didn’t even play Quidditch! He was only trying to save the poor creatures; so much for being a contributing member of society, hmph.

Remus Lupin was paying attention to the lesson, Lily Evans was paying attention too, James Potter was paying attention to Lily Evans, Sirius Black was paying attention to Peter Pettigrew, and Peter Pettigrew was taking a nap.

The circle of life.

ZzzzzZZZzzzzZZZZzzzz…….ZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZZ…

…….He was snoring again. And this time, Sirius knew exactly how to put an end to it. See, Pettigrew slept like a brick. So there was only one way to go about this.

*WHACK*

“Oi!”

Hey, no one said it had to be pretty.

“James, you can’t set anymore cauldron explosions, Slughorn’s going to kills us!” Remus whispered, not to sound amused despite how entertaining he found the explosives in class.

“Fine, fine. Remus, I solemnly swear not to set fire to anymore cauldrons,” James Potter smirked as Slughorn walked to the front of the classroom to begin class.

Was something… burning? Remus turned to James and gave him a VERY pointed look. “James you SWORE”

“But Moony, you said nothing about hair,” the Gryffindor grinned.

Remus Lupin was sitting in the corner, vigorously taking notes. However, Sirius, James, and Peter weren’t listening. It wasn’t much of a surprise to any other bystander, but Remus was still quite embarrassed. Sometimes he had to stop and wonder how his friends were still at the top of their class when they never listened. Which is why it was a surprise for everyone when Peter raised his hand to answer Flitwick’s next question.

“Have you seen any rainbows lately, Professor?”

…Remus had no words. Absolutely none.

“They are not paying me enough for this,” Sirius frowned as he picked up a banana peel from the floor, holding it up daintily with two fingers. “Actually, they aren’t paying me at all! Why the heck did we agree to this again?”

But instead of a reply, all Sirius Black received from his three friends were very well placed glares.

“Oi, Prongs! Quit pretending like you weren’t the one who wanted the feast food fight in the first place. I just put the plan into action.”

Remus Lupin cared for a lot of things. For example, he cared for his friends, he cared for the well-being of society, he cared for Charms, he cared for Lily’s cat whilst she was out studying. But see, one thing he did not care for was Quidditch, which, was quite unfortunate because sometimes he felt as if that’s all his friends cared about.

So when he noticed their Common Room needed a sweep, he grabbed the broom without a second thought. Oh well, Sirius would live.

“You know, we hardly spend any time together anymore, Moony,” Sirius mused.

“I mean, how the hell is it that every time YOU do something stupid, I’M the one who lands in detention right next to you?” The Gryffindor Prefect huffed in annoyance.

“Oi, I take offense to that,” Sirius said drawing a hand to his heart. “Besides, you have got to admit, the licorice wands were brilliant.” He smiled, “And I bet you look forward to our joint detentions.

Sirius Black couldn’t have been anymore wrong.

The marauders minus Remus had been standing outside the Common Room for a grand total of two hours. And they weren’t happy about it. “For the last time Sirius, she’s not going to let you in no matter how many times you try to compliment her backdrop,”

You’d think having a Prefect for a best mate would mean always knowing the password.

“Oi, Peter! I was finally starting to make progress,” he looked back at the Fat Lady, batting his lashes. “So as I was saying……..”

Clearly flirting his way into the common room wouldn’t work, but Sirius Black was willing to try despite. Though, James Potter was starting to get very impatient and Peter Pettigrew still had a divination essay to write.

“Let me try,” James pushed Sirius aside and cleared his throat. Ahem. “Knock, Knock…” he said to the portrait.

…. After a long silence, Sirius spoke up in his best Fat-Lady impersonation, “Who’s there?”

“Three very apologetic Gryffindors, now would you please let us in?”

Apparently knock-knock jokes don’t work either.

James Potter made his way over to the Gryffindor table with a great smile on his face. Breakfast was the best time of the day. His bum only hardly made it onto the bench before he began shoveling food down, only then pausing to look over at Peter. “Oi, what’s wrong with him?”

The round boy in question was currently tied to the bench, but didn’t seem to notice, as he was oogling Professor McGonagall with hearts in his eyes and a dopey grin on his face.

“Oops?” Sirius shrugged sheepishly.

“Oi, Remus! What did you get for number two?” Sirius peered over the boy’s shoulder to get a better look.

“Do your own homework, Sirius!” Remus hardly even looked up.

Ignoring his friend completely, Sirius edged even closer. This time he craned his neck even fuuuuuuurther, leaning on the edge of his chair…. Looming over the boy’s parchment and almoooooost there and—

“PADFOOT!”

“Oi, it’s not my fault your writing is so hard to read! If you didn’t have such dainty writing I wouldn’t have to lean this far forward.”

“Five galleons! Get your roof access passes for only five galleoooons!” Sirius stood in the corridor waving around the elaborate passes he had made just the night before. Of course there wasn’t a pool on the roof, but how were the first years supposed to know when James and Peter had helped spread the rumors all last week?

“That’s not going to work,” a slightly amused Remus Lupin rolled his eyes as he leaned back against the wall and watched the act.

“Sometimes I question how you even managed to get past third year,” Remus shook his head at James. Their plan was a recipe for disaster. As a prefect, it was his job to stop it.

“Don’t worry, Moony. We’re not going to let anyone get hurt.” There was a fine line when it came to pranking and James Potter prided himself on knowing where it was.

“Yeah, we’re not complete savages,” Peter chimed in.

Sirius nodded in regards to his friends sentiments, “Yeah, we’re only partial savages!”

“Can you believe her!?” James huffed as he slung his backpack onto the couch in the Gryffindor Common Room. “What does she mean it’s not optional!?! I’ve gone my entire life without writing a single essay and it suddenly now becomes ‘not optional’???”

….. Peter gave his friend a funny look. “Uh mate, I’m pretty sure the homework has been mandatory all year long.”

James squinted. A hard, annoyed squint. “Don’t be daft, Peter.” Absolutely ridiculous. Mandatory? HA. Suppose the next thing McGonagall will say is that class is mandatory too. Ridiculous.

“I don’t see why they had to ban me,” Sirius shrugged as he took a bite of his apple.

“…. Because this is the third time you’ve fallen asleep there and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t qualify as an accident anymore when you’ve got a blanket and pillow nestled between the bookcases.”

Again, Sirius shrugged and took another bite, “But Remus, that’s what libraries are for.”

Remus deadpanned. What was the point of trying to argue here? None. There was never a point.

James was taking Remus’ side for one of the first times in history. Which, by the way, came as a surprise to everyone.

“You two could’ve gotten into a lot worse trouble. You’re just lucky Dumbldore isn’t vengeful. What were you thinking?!”

Remus wanted to chime in, however, he stayed quiet allowing his friend to carry on. It was a rare moment to see James disapproving of such an act.

“And furthermore, that was perfectly good firewhiskey you just wasted!”

Sirius only shrugged, “Sometimes good pranks call for great sacrifices.”