Another one!!


Santa : What is the name of your car ?
Banta : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Santa : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaari gaadi to
petrol se start hoti hai.


I love Santa-Banta jokes!

Who is Ghanta Claus ???

??
??

??

A Santa Claus that brings you nothing....
Another One
Ek ladki bahut zyada intelligent thi. Schooling karne ke baad usne decide kiya ki wo ek Lawyer banegi. Us Ladki ne LLB bhi complete kar li. LLB karne ke baad wo Lawyer bhi ban gayi !

To batao ki usey kaun si sabzi pasand hai ???

Law-key (Lowkee)

Aap log lion ko kaise pakadenge?? Inse inspiration le!!!!

Indian Police Method
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.


Rajnikanth Method
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.


Ramarajan Method
Remove the make-up and put it over lion. The lionwill die notwithstanding that heavy weight.


Jayalalitha Method
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !


Manirathnam Method
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.


Karan Johar Method
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont !


Yash Chopra method
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.


Govinda method
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.


George Bush method
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!


Ravi Shastri method
Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Karan Johar Method and Govinda method are like

Teacher : 'Ek Avivaahit yuvti neeche khadi hai' is sentence ko angrezi mein batao

Student : Misunderstanding (Miss-under-standing)!

Hehehe

_________
A joke:

Why does not Santa wake up early.. i.e. when the day dawns.. or sun rises.. but
instead get up when the sun is already shining bright...

Because he has realised the fact that.. "dawn ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin.. na mumkin hain.."

_________

Okay.. another one:


Q.What would an angrez[american/british] say to his indian naukar [servant] who can only understand hindi if he wants him 2 open the door!!

A."There Was A Cold Day " - (say it fast)!

^

Q. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)

^
Another one...
What is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
??
??

Wondering How?
..
That's bcoz....
............
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

^ hehe

rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi.........

sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????? ????????


rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahu-mat do

^

Heres another one:


A scientist disconnected his doorbell..

Why??

Because...he wanted to win the No-bell prize!
hehe..

^ hahaha

Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.

On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.

Stranger: "Sir, can I know your name please"

Gulshan: "I am Gulshan Grocer"

Stranger: "Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??"

Gulshan: "No it is Grocer"

Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...

scroll down for the ultimate PJ
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Further…

Because at the speed of light V=C

^

Here's one from me:


For people with strong hearts…

...
AGAR TUM 90 TIMES PAAP KAROGE TOH 45 TIMES PAKDE JAOOGE........

...
WHY???????????

...
CAUSE

...
...
...



*****************
SIN 90 = COT 45
*****************

Here are some more PJs that I was discussing with my friends! Enjoy!

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Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.

****************


What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants to tell her to
call him up…?
...
...
...
...

Ring De Basanti

****************


A dentist was examining a patient having a highly contageous deadly
disease….
As soon he opens the patients mouth the disease gets transferred to the
doctor… how??
?
?
?
?
?
…Because the patient had a bluetooth!!

****************

Zindegi ek paheli hai…
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scroll karne se solve nahi hogi….

Here's the next....


Santa galti se samundar me gir gya ........doobte doobte uske hath mien Machli aa gyi......usne machli ko bahar fenka aur kaha ""ja tu toh apni jaan bcha le ""

^ Hehe!

Here's next...

Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says,"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese"
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,"You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship,not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carsberg, you're all the same

^ Ha ha ha

A girl reported for her University final examination, which consists of "yes/no" type questions.
She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
"I finished the exam in half and hour. But, since the teacher said, I am rechecking my answers."

^

A policeman caught a Pathan driver stopping the bus at the road and

began asking questions:

Policeman: “Tumne bich road pe bus Kyun rok di?”

Pathan: Hum seher mein naya aaya hai magar Kanoon nahi torta!

Woh samne dekho likha hai “Bus Stop” Toh humne rok diya...

^ he he he

Here's another one:


Once in MIT, there was an Indian student.
He was very brilliant, and his General Knowledge (GK) was excellent.
He won every Quiz in the institute ....
Once he fell in love with a Phirangi girl...
He proposed to the girl, but she straight away rejected him ... calling him
Bloody Desi...
After this, his GK fell drastically, and he stopped taking part in Quiz
and all.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

because,

Jab Dil hi toot gaya....
to GK kya karenge ...


_________________

Another one!


What is the Center of Gravity?

V


"gra V ity"

^ hahaha

^^

Here's another PJ:


Narak me bahut log maza kar rahe they...

God: Ye log narak me bhi maza kar rahe hain??

Yamraj: Mumbai wale hain, kahin bhi kaise bhi adjust ho jaate hain!

________

And that is so true!!