omg!!!!
whats he gonna do!?!?!?!?!?!

Lily could feel James’ eyes on her as she sat listening to Severus talking about how he had found a way to stop a Mandrake-cry killing you.

“…and so, once you’ve let it brew for two months, you place a dead Mandrake in it and stir it five times counter-clockwise. Once it turns orange, you quickly place it in a flask and I’m really not interesting you, am I?”

“Hmm?” said Lily distractedly, blinking as Severus shook her out of her thoughts.

Severus gave her a hard look then looked over the other side of the room, to see James staring at them.

“Something I can help you with, Potter?” he enquired, looking both smug and annoyed at the same time.

“How about washing your hair, you filthy grease-ball?” spat James, angrily.

Sirius guffawed heartily next to him as Severus turned pink.

Lily caught his hand as he plunged it into his robes, intent on pulling out his wand and cursing James into oblivion.

“Don’t start!” said Lily furiously, glaring at Severus and James in turn.

Lily couldn’t stand another fight between James and Severus. She didn’t care that they hated each other – duelling was not an option.

“Let’s all just…just relax. Talk about fluffy things and…wonder where the rest of the class is…” she finished, a frown on her face.

“Where is the rest of the class?”

Sirius, James and Severus all looked around the room, as though this action would cause the class to appear.

“Were we ‘sposed to go to the Library or something?” asked James.

“Probably,” replied Sirius, looking supremely unconcerned.

“We should go and look,” said Lily, getting to her feet.

Severus followed suit, much to the annoyance of James.

No way was he letting Snape go anywhere alone with Lily.

“Come on, Sirius,” he said, standing up and elbowing him in the process.

“Oi! Where’re you going?”

“To find our class!”

Sirius looked confused, then glanced over at the door and saw Snape and Lily leaving together.

Rolling his eyes, he said, “You’re such a loser, Prongs,” but heaved himself up all the same.

James glared at him.

“James, are you coming?” called Lily from the other side of the room.

James felt his stomach do a back-flip at the sound of Lily saying his name, but Lily’s stomach was doing more of a sickening lurch as she realised what she’d just done.

No way were she and Potter going to be on speaking terms through any action of hers. She’d apologised - now he had to make the effort to accept it.

“Ooh, check it out, Prongs,” whispered Sirius. “Looks like you’re in there, mate!”

“Shut up,” hissed James.

The pair of them hurried to catch up with Lily and Snape, who had just gotten to the end of the corridor.

“So,” said James, trying to act cool as he watched Snivellus inch ever closer to his beloved, “You two an item then?”

The shock on both Lily and Snape’s faces were priceless.

Snape recovered first, and bitingly replied, “Shut your face, Potter! Although it may be hard for someone as dim-witted as you to understand, girls and boys can actually spend time together without fancying each other!”

James raised his eyebrows.

“Well, actually, Snivellus, I can understand the principle of a girl and a guy being just friends – it’s just that we all know that that isn’t how you regard Lily, is it?”

Snape’s face flooded with colour, and James smirked, satisfied.

He began to walk past the two of them, but his smirk was replaced with a look of worry, as Lily broke away from Snape and strode towards him.

“What is your problem, Potter?! Leave Sev- No! Sev, don’t!”

James looked round just in time to see a fist swing towards his face.

The resounding crunch made Lily wince.

James bought a hand up to his bleeding nose.

“Oh, that’s gonna cost you!” he snarled, pulling out his wand as he did so.

“James, don’t!” cried Lily, but the words had barely left her mouth when Severus yelled “Protego!”

Lily had to duck as the curse rebounded towards her.

“Sev!” she yelled, as the wall behind her exploded.

But neither James nor Severus was listening. They were both glaring at one another, daring the other to make the first move.

Sirius was currently watching them like a predator watches its prey, ready to strike the minute he thought James was in trouble.

But Lily had had enough. She strode over to Severus, intent on talking him out of this ridiculous fight but just as she reached him, James shouted, “Impedimenta!”

The force of the spell blew her off her feet and she crashed into a stone-gargoyle.

James looked horrified at what he’d done.

“Lily!” he yelled, just as Snape did the same thing and they collided as they both raced to check that Lily was ok.

“Get out of my way, you scumbag!” roared James, punching Snape in the face.

Snape responded by spitting in his face.

“You’re the scumbag, not me Potter!”

The pair suddenly found themselves flying through the air. James smashed into a potted plant and Snape landed awkwardly on his side.

Gasping as he dragged himself to his feet, James looked round wildly and saw Lily glaring at him, her wand in one hand, as she wiped her bleeding lip with the other.

“Lily, I’m sorry, I-”

James grimaced as he heard another vase smash behind him.

“Just go away, Potter!” spat Lily, tears running down her face as she dragged herself to her feet.

Slapping away James’ helping hand, she hurried off to the hospital wing, leaving James to stare after her, and wonder if he’d ruined everything.

He didn’t even grin when he heard Snape yell, as Sirius’ curse hit him.

He did, however, freeze at the unmistakeable tone of Minerva McGonagall.

“SEVERUS SNAPE, SIRIUS BLACK, AND JAMES POTTER! WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PLAYING AT?!”

Turning slowly around, he was met with the unpleasant sight of Snape’s greasy head, right in front of his face.

“Oh, god, move over greasy,” he said disgustedly.

“Potter!” roared McGonagall, making him jump. “I am absolutely appalled at this! Your attitude, it’s just… unacceptable! This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from the Head Boy! You will come to Dumbledore’s office at 8pm, and explain yourself. And don’t be surprised if you find yourself stripped of your title!”

James gasped.

“But… Professor-”

“No buts! You are in serious trouble! And I don’t know why you’re sniggering, Snape! You and Black both have detention – for a week!”

James barely heard their protests – he was too wrapped up in his own dire situation.

Stripped of his Head Boy status?

He couldn’t believe it.

No, he couldn’t believe himself, his stupidity!

He’d thought that his immature days of being an absolute git were gone – how very wrong he’d been.

And now, he was going to have to pay the price.

Perhaps Lily had been right about him all along…

awesome!!!!
i luv this story!!!
PAMS PAMS PAMS
-Jezz

Awesome!!

Lily was just getting up, ready to leave after Madam Pompfrey had patched up her war wounds, when the hospital wing doors burst open and in flew Romeda and Alice, both looking flushed, but excited.

“Lily, Lily! Guess what?! Guess what’s happened!” gasped Romeda, her eyes shining with anticipation.

Lily raised her eyebrows.

“Hey, Lily, how are you? I hope you’re ok, seeing as how you’re in the hospital wing!” she replied sarcastically.

Romeda just rolled her eyes.

“Oh, shut up, Lils, of course you’re alright! I’d hardly call crashing into the wall a major injury!”

“Uh!” said Lily, her mouth hanging open.

“Aw, Lils, don’t look like that! We have much more important stuff to talk about-!”

“-Yeah, like how James Potter’s going to have his Head Boy badge taken off him!” cut in Alice excitedly.

“What?!” shrieked Lily, causing Giles Fawcett, who was laying in the bed next to her, to gasp in pain as he snapped his neck round to see what had happened.

“Miss Evans!” cried Madam Pompfrey, appalled. “There are very sick patients in here, and I do not wish for them to be disturbed!”

“Sorry, Madam Pompfrey,” she said sheepishly, signalling for Alice and Romeda to leave the hospital wing with her.

As soon as they were clear of Madam Pompfrey, Lily burst out, “What happened?! How come it’s being taken off of him?!”

“Something about Professor McGonagall catching him, Black and Snape duelling with each other!”

“Yeah, it’s a good job you scampered when you did Lils; she might’ve demanded you give up your badge too!”

“What, so he’s not Head Boy anymore?!”

“Nothing’s been confirmed, but I would say that outcome is very likely.”

Lily couldn’t believe what she was hearing!

She knew she’d threatened James with getting his Head Boy-ship taken away from him, but she’d never really meant it, and she did genuinely think that he was a good head boy.

A slightly bent one, but good nonetheless!

“I’m going to see Professor Dumbledore,” she burst out, surprising Alice and Romeda.

“What?!” gasped Alice, staring at her wide-eyed.

“I thought you hated James now,” added Romeda, looking bewildered. “Surely this is what you wanted?! I mean, he did hex you, and you two had that massive fight-”

“I know,” said Lily, “But that doesn’t mean I want him to lose his badge! It means everything to him!”

To Lily’s great surprise, Romeda and Alice looked at each other, grinned, then burst out laughing.

“What?! Why are you laughing at me?! Alice! Romeda! What did I do?!”

“It’s just… you-”spluttered Alice, shaking her head.

“‘Oh that James Potter makes my blood-boil; I can’t wait until we leave Hogwarts and I never have to see that obnoxious git again!’” quoted Romeda solemnly, as she regained some of her composure. “Wasn’t that what you said just last night, Lily? Or was it some other fiery red-head that shares our dorm?”

Lily turned red.

“When I said that, I… I just… It’s not that I like James now-”

“Oh, come off it, Lils!” grinned Romeda. “He’s gotten under your skin, and, you’ve gotta admit, you like it.”

“I do not!”

“You do too,” said Alice, with a smirk.

“I-” began Lily, but suddenly remembered a very similar argument she’d had with a certain arrogant, albeit very attractive, Gryffindor.

Lily froze.

She couldn’t believe what she’d just thought!

“Oh god,” she muttered, looking terrified. “I haven’t-”

“You have!” chorused Alice and Romeda, grinning widely.

“Noooo!” cried Lily, burying her face in her hands. “Oh, mother of Merlin, my life is over!!”

Her friends eyed her bemusedly.

“He’s not that bad,” commented Romeda, smiling slightly.

“It’s not that he’s bad,” said Lily, lifting up her head and shaking it. “It’s just that I’ve spent nearly seven years saying how much of a toad he is, and how stupid the girls who liked him were, and now I’m one of them! Oh, I’ll never live this down!!!”

A sudden horrible, terrible, thought crossed Lily’s mind.

“You won’t tell him, will you?!” she gasped, looking at her friends frantically. “If you did… if he found out… well, at least there’s only half a year left in which to bask in the humiliation!”

“Oh, for crying out loud, Lily, we’re not gonna tell!” laughed Romeda, smacking Lily on the arm. “We’re not that mean! Now, if you wanna go and save your love, then-”

“Andromeda!”

“Alright, alright! And don’t call me Andromeda!”

Lily just glared.

“Quit glaring Lily, and put your running shoes on!”

Lily frowned.

“Why?” she asked confusedly.

“’Cause if you wanna save James’ neck, then I suggest you get to Dumbledore’s study pronto – it’s two minutes to eight.”

“What?!” she gasped, grabbing Romeda’s wrist in an attempt to see her watch. “How did it get so late?!”

“Ah, Lils, you know what Madam Pompfrey’s like!”

“Argh, I’ve gotta go!” cried Lily, panic evident in her voice. “Get out of my way!”

“We’re not in your way, you silly cow! Dumbledore’s office is that way!”

As Lily spun round and tore down the corridor, Romeda looked at Alice and said, with a smirk, “How long do you give it until she starts dating him?”

“Two weeks?”

“You’re on.”

LOL, I give it less than that

Haha
thats was funny
i luv it when people realize that they are totally head over heels for the person that they thought they hated
keep up the awesome writing
-Jezz

Thanks to all of you who have reviewed!

As Lily rushed along the corridor that led to the entrance of Dumbledore’s study, she quickly tried to formulate an argument in her mind.

On the one hand, James had cursed her, causing her to spend almost an entire day in the hospital wing. But, on the other, and as much as she hated to admit it, she liked working with James, and didn’t fancy having to find a new balance with somebody else.

No, it would be much better if James remained as Head Boy.

All she had to do was convince Dumbledore of this.

James fidgeted nervously as he waited for Dumbledore to sit down.

He really really didn’t want Dumbledore to take his Head Boy badge off of him.

Being able to stand the silence no more, James began, “Sir, I know that I’ve been an idiot-”

“It has always fascinated me, Mr Potter,” said Dumbledore, pressing his long fingers together and fixing James with a piercing stare, “when it comes to the prospect of losing one’s high position, how repentant one becomes. If one were not in danger of being demoted, I rather suspect that there would be no remorse. Am I correct?”

James blushed.

He always felt as though Dumbledore’s piercing blue eyes could see right through him, and now really wasn’t a time when he wanted Dumbledore knowing what he was thinking.

“Look, Sir, I know that I’ve acted like a complete idiot, and I probably don’t deserve to keep my badge, but I just lost it when I saw… uh… well, um…” James coughed uncomfortably.

Dumbledore smiled knowingly.

“It has been brought to my attention that yourself and Miss Evans have had a fight. Is that correct?”

James reddened further and nodded.

“And what, may I ask, was the argument about?”

“Um…” stammered James, uncertain as of how to answer. “Lily- I mean Evans - thought that I’d been going through her bag, which I hadn’t. She got really mad and said loads of stuff that really ****** – uh, I mean, annoyed – me, so I lost my temper and, um-”

“Took it out on the contents of Gryffindor’s 7th Year boys’ dormitory?”

“Um,” said James sheepishly, “Yeah.”

He faltered for a moment, wondering whether Dumbledore was going to tell him off, but Dumbledore merely smiled and began to hum slightly.

“Um, and then Evans came and apologised, and said that she’d like to be, uh, friends… A-and I told her that… that I didn’t want to be,” finished James, bowing his head slightly and mentally slapping himself for the hundredth time for turning down Lily’s offer.

“I see. You did not wish to accept Miss Evans’ apology?”

“No,” blurted out James, “No, I just… didn’t want to be friends with her…”

“You wanted to be more?” nodded Dumbledore.

James’ insides shrivelled with embarrassment.

How did Dumbledore know this?!

“Mr Potter, despite Professor McGonagall’s insistence that you be stripped of your title, I do not have any plans to do so.”

James looked up at Dumbledore disbelievingly.

“Y-you’re not taking my badge away?” he breathed, hardly daring to believe what he was hearing.

“No, I am not. As much as I do not condone violence, I have it on good authority that you were under a lot of stress when you attacked Mr Snape – after all, it’s not easy seeing the one that we love dallying with someone else, is it?”

James did not answer, but Dumbledore’s question seemed to be rhetorical.

After a brief pause, during which Dumbledore muttered something about needing to brush-up on his Shakespeare, James realised that now was probably the right time to leave.

Pushing his chair back, he stuck out his hand, feeling slightly foolish as he did so.

Dumbledore took it, a slightly bemused look on his face, and shook it.

“I really appreciate this, sir, and I promise you, I won’t put another foot wrong.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t go as far as promising that,” chuckled Dumbledore, withdrawing his hand from James’. “A bit of Marauders’-style mischief never hurt anybody… except, perhaps, the Slytherins.”

James laughed nervously.

Dumbledore really was the least conventional Head Master Hogwarts had ever seen!

Picking up his school bag, he gave a final nod to Dumbledore, and headed for the door.

Just as his hand settled on the door knob, it flew open, smacking him in the face and sending him sprawling onto the floor.

Clutching his nose, he looked up with watering eyes to see who had come hurling through the door.

“James!” cried Lily, gasping as she realised what she’d hit when she had flung the door open. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”

Rushing over to him, she knelt down and gingerly took in the state of his face.

“Is it broken?” she whispered, placing a hand over her mouth.

James gingerly prodded his nose and yelped.

“Yep,” he said, wincing, “Yep, I think you’ve broken it good and proper!”

Lily looked horrified.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t realise you’d be right behind the door! I only just heard from Alice and Romeda that Dumbledore was thinking of taking your badge off of you! I’m not too late, am I?! Stupid Peeves caught me as I got to the stone gargoyles, and it took me five minutes just to get him to let me through! But I’m here now, and I’m willing to fight for your title; where’s Dumbledore?!”

Looking around wildly, she spotted him sat at his desk, looking highly amused.

“Professor,” said Lily, standing up and moving towards him, “I know that James can be a bit of an idiot sometimes, and slightly too arrogant for his own good, but he does really care about being Head Boy, and I think it’s wholly unfair to deprive Hogwarts of his, admittedly less than normal, approach to head boy-ship. I mean, you yourself are hardly what one could call conventional, and yet you’re the best head master Hogwarts has ever had!”

“Oh, you flatter me so, Miss Evans,” smiled Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. “But you needn’t worry – Mr Potter’s position is as secure as it ever was.”

“What?!” cried Lily, spinning round to look at James, who was currently in the process of searching for a tissue to stem the blood that was flowing from his broken nose. “You’re still Head Boy? Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I think the small event of getting smacked in the face with a door by a rather excitable red-head drove the thought from his mind somewhat,” beamed Dumbledore, rising from his chair. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend to with the Minister of Magic. Feel free to occupy my office for as long as it takes to, ah, sort out your differences.”

With a small wink, he waltzed past Lily, who was still reeling from the fact that James had not been dismissed, pulled open the door, and gently closed it behind him, chortling slightly as he did so.

When Lily heard the door click shut, she felt a wave of fear wash over her.

James had attacked her; did that mean he hated her?

Turning around slowly, she noticed that James was turning steadily whiter as he struggled to stop his nose bleed.

Rushing over, she waved her wand, causing the bleeding to stop immediately.

With another wave, she repaired the damage to his nose, adding in a blood-replenishing charm for good measure.

Sniffing, James said gratefully, “Thanks. I think I’m part-haemophilic.”

“Is that even possible?” laughed Lily, reddening a bit.

“Who knows?”

There was an awkward pause.

“James…” began Lily, but he cut in.

“Lily, earlier, when I cursed you, I swear I didn’t mean to! I was aiming for Snape and you just got in the way… I honestly never meant to hurt you. I’d never hurt you, Lils.”

Lily opened her mouth to protest that he shouldn’t have been cursing anyone, but closed it again, a small smile appearing on her face.

“I’m sorry that I accused you of stealing my stuff,” she said softly, looking him in the eyes.

“And I’m sorry that I completely flew off the handle and wouldn’t accept your apology,” replied James, staring back at her.

“Does… does that mean you have now?” she asked, feeling slightly nervous.

“If it’s still there to be accepted,” said James, hoping with all his might that it was.

“It is,” nodded Lily.

“Then I accept!” laughed James.

Lily laughed too.

“Ok, good – perhaps we might actually be able to get on for more than two seconds without biting each others’ heads off!”

“Here’s hoping!” grinned James.

“Right, well, I best be off. You should really go and get your nose checked out – I don’t know how temporary my mending is, and it still looks a bit wonky if you ask me.”

“Ok,” nodded James, “I’ll do that.”

“Ok then,” said Lily, “I’ll see you later.”

Turning around to leave, she was filled with a sudden urge to hug James.

Taking a deep breath, she turned back round to face him and gave him a quick hug, before darting out of the door.

Five minutes later, James was still rooted to the spot, his face frozen in shock.

Lily Evans had actually hugged him!

HIM!

James Potter.

Head Boy.

Clinically arrogant.

Him!

His face suddenly broke into a grin.

Maybe all was not lost after all!

Clinically arrogant

Sorry that made me laugh!
I luved this last chapter
Oh Dumbledore your so wonderful and forgiving!!!
Yay 4 ur new chapter!
~Abby~

Fabulous!

I loved it! I can't wait til James and Lily get together

Love
.:Adrienne:.

I NEED MORE!!!!
Im addicted
I luv it
PAMS
-Jezz

The following day, both James and Lily felt a lot happier than they had done in ages.

Having finally swept all their previous arguments and misconceptions under the rug, they were now free to actually enjoy each other’s company – much to the delight of Sirius, who was busily taking bets on how long it would take Lily and James to lock lips, and had so far taken 10 galleons worth – and that was just from his fellow Gryffindors!

It was whilst he was collecting one of these bets from Richard Playwright, a 4th Year Gryffindor, that he noticed James’ school bag lying partially open on the floor, a small flask just visible between the gap.

Checking that Playwright was still looking for his money, Sirius bent down and pulled the flask out of the bag.

Pulling out the stopper, he sniffed it gingerly.

“Oh, James, James, James,” he grinned, shaking his head as he put the stopper back in the flask. “I never would have believed it. A love potion, huh? Well, I guess now I know how you got all those girls last year.”

Fully intending to put the flask back, he felt his heart stop momentarily as he heard a voice behind him.

“Hey, Padfoot, what’ve you got there?” said James, walking over from the portrait hole he’d just climbed through.

“Oh, nothing,” said Sirius, hastily stuffing the flask into the side pocket of his robes. “Just seeing if I’ve got enough money on me to bribe Peter into letting me copy his work, that’s all.”

“What work?” asked James, looking suddenly worried.

“That foot-long essay that we got from Binns yesterday, which is due in after lunch.”

“Crap!” cried James, now searching his own pockets. “I completely forgot about that! How much do you reckon Peter’ll take?”

“Just promise to give him Quidditch lessons – that’ll make all his dreams come true. But make sure you mention my name in the bargain – I’m not as rich as I once was, you know, seeing as how my parents have disowned me and all.”

James laughed.

“Your mum still sending you Howlers, huh?”

“Only every other day now, but the house-elves are starting to complain; all the explosions at breakfast are making scorch-marks on the table.”

James grinned.

“Why don’t you send her one back?”

“Now there’s an idea!” said Sirius, his eyes suddenly alight with mischief. “Ooh, yes, I can see it now: I could disguise it as something else, and maybe it’ll blow up in Kreacher’s hands, and…”

It was whilst Sirius was rambling excitedly about the prospect of his mother’s house-elf acquiring third-degree burns, that Richard Playwright had found the money he owed him.

“Hey, Black, I’ve got that money for you.”

Sirius froze.

“What money?” asked James, looking suspicious.

“For the bet,” replied Playwright, looking at James like he was an idiot.

“What be-”

“Oh, ha ha ha, Playwright, you’re such a laugh!” cried Sirius, bounding over to him, looking alarmed. “You know it’s Peter making bets, not me!”

“But you said that-”

“-Bets were despicable, and anyone taking them should be reported! Yes, I did indeed, and I tell you what! Why don’t you go and shop Peter right now, eh? Yep? Ok. Bu-bye now!”

And with that he shoved a very confused looking Playwright through the portrait hole.

Turning back around, he mimed brushing his hands together and smiled innocently at James.

“Ready for good old transfiguration, Prongs?”

James raised his eyebrows, a grin on his face.

“You’re a terrible liar, Padfoot.”

“Oh, I know,” he grinned, deciding that James didn’t look particularly mad. “And you love me for it.”

“Sirius! There will be no gay exploits today, thank you very much!” gasped James in mock outrage.

Sirius pretended to look disappointed.

“Damn it. But, in all fairness, we do need to keep you pure for Evans…”

“Shut your mouth,” said James, but couldn’t quite contain the happy smile that was spreading across his face.

“Awww,” snickered Sirius. “She like you now, does she?”

“I don’t know,” said James, his face suddenly serious. “But I don’t think she hates me, which is a definite improvement.”

“Exactly,” nodded Sirius.

“Hey guys?” said a voice from the portrait hole.

Looking round, they saw Peter was standing there, looking slightly nervous.

“Um, McGonagall sent me to tell you two to hurry up – apparently we have a really important lesson, or something.”

“Right-o,” said Sirius cheerfully, climbing out of the portrait hole and chucking Peter playfully under the chin. “Lead the way, Wormtail!”

Frowning as he rubbed his chin, he said to Sirius, “Why do you always do that?”

“Because he fancies you,” said James, who had climbed through after Sirius. “Take it as a compliment – only the hottest girls at school get that kind of treatment!”

“Thanks,” muttered Peter sarcastically, still rubbing his chin.

“Aw, come on, Wormy, don’t get all sulky!” said Sirius, pulling him into a side embrace, and rubbing his hair affectionately.

“Don’t!” said Peter angrily, pulling away from him and flattening his hair.

“Alright, stress ball!” said Sirius, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Jeez, ever since you got partnered with Snivellus in Potions you’ve been a right moody git!”

“I have not,” said Peter tetchily, pushing past Sirius and James.

As he reached the end of the corridor, he turned around, his face cover in annoyance, and said, “Oh, and how come McGonagall says I’ve got to see her after class for taking bets on how long it’ll take James to snog Evans?!”

Sirius and James hopped into Transfiguration ten minutes later, both swearing they had no idea who’d cursed them with the leg locker curse.

Both flat-out denied that they’d cursed each other.

Once McGonagall had taken the spell off of them, they motioned to go and sit in their usual spaces, but found to their distaste that the places were no longer available.

“Why are Crabbe and Walters sat in our spaces, Professor?” asked Sirius, with a frown.

“As soon as I assign you your new places, you shall find out,” replied McGonagall crisply. “Now, Mr Black, you will be sat with Miss Ford, and Mr Potter, you will be sat with Miss Evans.”

James grinned as he took his seat next to Lily.

“Don’t get too comfortable, Mr Potter,” said McGonagall sternly. “I assure you, comfort is something that is going to be in short supply this week…”

James looked uncertainly at Lily.

“Do you know what she’s talking about?”

“I haven’t a clue, but I’m sure whatever it is, it can’t be good. And it must be something that deals with maturity, because if you haven’t noticed already, every boy has been paired with a girl.”

James looked round and saw that Lily was right.

Remus had been paired with Andromeda Black, Peter was paired with Anita Abdul and Lily’s friend Alice had been paired with Frank Longbottom again.

“Now, as you may all have noticed, you are each sat with a member of the opposite sex-”

“Oh, I don’t know Professor,” piped up Sirius. “I’m not too sure whether Snape counts as a guy or not.”

“That will do, Black,” snapped McGonagall, as the rest of class, bar Lily, snickered and Snape flushed red, “Unless you want a detention on top of your parenting duties.”

“What?!” cried Sirius, along with the rest of the class.

“That will do,” shouted McGonagall again. “Now, due to a sudden usurp of teenage pregnancies at Hogwarts-”

“Ida Miller!” shouted Ian Thomas.

“Leanne Billsworth!” yelled Kelly Taylor.

“That’s enough!” she barked. “Suffice it to say, this isn’t a situation that we’re very happy with. So, to try and combat it, we have decided to try an exercise used in the muggle world to discourage teenagers such as yourselves from not using… protection.” She said the final word as though it left a bad taste in her mouth, which caused a number of the students to snigger.

“So,” said McGonagall sharply, ignoring them, “That is why you are all being presented with one of these…”

As she said this she waved her wand, and on each desk materialised a perfect copy of a baby, complete with tear-ducts and a full set of lungs.

“Oh, bloody hell!” yelled James over the screaming. “We have to look after one of these all day?!”

“For one week, Mr Potter,” replied McGonagall, a smile threatening to appear on her lips.

“A week?!” cried James, looking horrified. “When am I supposed to study?!”

Lily snorted as she picked up the baby.

“Like you ever study.”

“Well, I will do now, if it gets me out of looking after one of these things!”

“Oh, you are so un-parental!” scoffed Lily, smiling at the baby in her arms adoringly. “What do we call them?” she asked McGonnagal.

“Whatever you wish,” she said sternly, not too happy about how pleased Lily looked. “But please do remember that by the end of the week, the babies will cease to exist. So don’t get attached!”

There were a few cries of protest at this, but again McGonnagal ignored them.

“So what are we actually ‘sposed to do with them?” asked Sirius, looking uncertain as he inspected one of his baby’s tiny hands. “You teachers don’t actually expect us to parent them, do you?!”

“Of course we do,” responded McGonnagal, eyebrows raised. “However, if you do mistreat your baby – forgetting to change its nappy, feed it, etc. – then we will know, and you shall be punished appropriately. You must also work effectively with your assigned partners. Scheduling will, of course, be needed in order for you to continue your studies and keep to other commitments, such as quidditch. However, you will not be allowed to ‘dump’ your baby on one of the staff.”

“Each couple will be issued with a baby-pack, complete with all of the products and objects that you will need. Those partnered with someone from another House will have to sort out who has the baby when, as there will be no allowance of inter-house common room meetings. If you do really need help, you may go and see Madam Pompfrey.”

“Happy parenting!”

And with that, McGonnagal exited the room, leaving a class full of worried-looking 7th Years in her wake.

“Anyone up for permanent baby-sitting duties?” asked Sirius dully, as he wiped baby sick off of his shoulder.

“Only if you take mine,” said James, eyeing the baby apprehensively.

“Oh, James, he’s the cutest little thing I ever did see,” cooed Lily, tickling her baby under the chin. “What shall we call him?”

“A nuisance?” suggested James. “Ow!”

“Don’t be mean – he’ll have a proper name.”

“How about Dick?”

“James!”

“Alright, alright! Noah?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want our baby to be allowed to decide for himself whether he follows Christian teachings, and giving him a name like that would seem like we were coercing him into doing so!”

“Lily, it’s not real…”

“Shut up.”

Haha thats hilarious!!
poor James..
I cant wait to see where you go with this
-Jezz

this is soooo funny new reader i can not wait for the next post PAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPA MSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMS PAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPA MSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMS PAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPA MSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMS PAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPA MSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMS PAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPA MSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMS PAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPA MSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMS PAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPA MSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMS

lmao that was funny!!!!
PAMS!

~Ange-Aimée~

Fabulous, more more more =P

To all my fantastic readers, I apologise hugely for not having posted in so long! I got flooded during the summer and my house is just starting to have work done on it, meaning I don't have regular access to the internet - I will try and post once a week, and if I don't answer your reviews, please don't be offended: I love getting them!

James was sat with the baby on his lap, smiling softly at Lily, who was laid on the sofa opposite him, fast asleep.

After the initial shock of being issued with a ready-made baby, James had found that he actually quite enjoyed playing Dad.

Admittedly, the first few hours of parenthood had not been smooth