I go by Addie! And what should I call you?

A wave of pity and despair cruised through Sirius, tearing his whole soul apart. Pascal reached him and looked up at him, her face expressionless.

“I know you’re feeling sorry for me,” she said, smiling bitterly.

He struggled to speak, just like she had struggled to walk. Then he couldn’t control his emotions. “Sorry? Pascal, I’m torn,” he burst out.

But the words seemed to set her temper on fire. “Torn, my foot,” she said, her words drenched with hatred and her blue eyes ablaze. It was like a fire spreading across an endless sea. It did not burn the water, but it did not diminish, either. “That’s what everyone does! You’re no different, Sirius. They all pity me.”

She turned away, her eyes wet. “I told you my daddy loves me. When I was sixteen, he bought me a really expensive car. He said I could drive it around, wherever I liked, whenever I liked. Some old fool rammed his own car into mine, though. My friends would come to visit me in hospital, assuring me that I would get better soon. Then weeks flew by and I did not. They don’t even come to meet me anymore, much less give me any assurance.”

He did not know what to say. He stood, as though he was lipless. The suitcase hung limply from his half open right hand, slipping. He did not bother to tighten his hold on it.

But Pascal was not done yet .Turning away, she gazed at the light playing across the horizon, lost in her own world. “You know, I used to get invitation to parties. People would come over and ask me how I was. Then they would ask one of my friends for a dance. I stopped going out at all.”

He could feel almost feel himself experiencing her pain. “It worried daddy, my staying home all day long. In the end, he decided a change of place every year would do me good. Now I go to Paris every year, stay there for some months. Then I go back to England.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Sirius could say.

“Don’t be sorry!” she spat at him. “I don’t need anybody being sorry for me. It’s always the same with everyone. Pity, pity, pity – That’s all I get. I want the friendships I used to have back. I want the love I used to get back. I want me back.”

She stopped, breathing hard and very fast, her eyes aglow. Then, slowly, she calmed down. “Why am I telling you, a complete stranger, all this?” she said slowly. “It will only make you pity me more. I don’t have time and sentiments to waste on you. You’re just another person in my life, just like everyone else who comes, stays long enough to say the hellos, and leaves. What would you care.”

“I’m not everyone, Pascal,” he finally managed to say.

“Isn’t that what everyone says?”

“No,” he said firmly. “I’m not everyone. I’m different.”

“Do you two plan to stay here all day long?” a young officer shouted at them. “Everyone else has left.”

Without a word, he took Pascal’s hand and helped her down. None spoke.

Yesh. =]

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Sirius thinks she’s lame?

No, she is. She can't walk.

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Originally Posted by Lea Loving it! Loving it! LOVING IT!

Hehe, glad to know that, hunny. <3333

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Originally Posted by Addie I go by Addie! And what should I call you?

Maxie.

Ooh, sad story

But at least Sirius is trying to get himself out of the six foot hole he dug.

I <3 this muchos. Can't wait for more!

.:Adrienne:.

*shnugglesyou* Every cloud has a silver lining, you know, love. <333333

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But at least Sirius is trying to get himself out of the six foot hole he dug.

*nod-nod*

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I <3 this muchos. Can't wait for more!

Thanks, hunny.

Can't wait for more hun.(well really can if we must!)

Will post again soon. ^^

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Originally Posted by Jay Great updating, Max.

Thanks, hun. <3

Fifteen minutes later, they were clambering into the train that would drop them at their destined station, both quiet. Sirius sat down in the seat opposite Pascal, his grey eyes lost. “What are you thinking?” he asked Pascal, after several minutes of silence, trying to shake her out of her thoughts.

“Nothing.”

“Yes, you are,” Sirius corrected her. “You’re feeling sorry for yourself.”

She looked at him with angry eyes. “Am not.”

Sirius smiled, a bittersweet sort of smile. “You can get as infuriated as you want when someone feels sorry for you, Pascal but, admit it, you feel sorry for your own self. You’ve distanced yourself from everything you love, everything you want, just because you pity yourself. You hate people who pity you, but you can’t help pitying yourself. Odd, isn’t it?”

Pascal did not say anything in response. Instead, she continued to stare out of the window, her eyes settled on the streaks of grey and azure flying by. “Where are you going from here?” she asked at last.

Sirius shrugged. “I’ve got no idea, if truth be told. I guess I’ll find some place. You?”

“My aunt will be there... at the station,” Pascal returned. She was struggling to keep her voice normal, but not really succeeding.

“Pascal?”

“What?”

“Stop pitying yourself.”

She looked up at him, her eyes back to their usual, child-like ones. “I can’t,” she said simply.

Sirius smiled, more at her innocence than anything else. “So, where do you want to meet later on?” he asked, as if the question was quite a natural one. “Or we could just go somewhere together from the station. That would be much better, come to think of it, because –”

“– Sirius –”

“– I really don’t anything about Paris –”

“– Sirius –”

“– so you could show me around and –”

“SIRIUS.”

“Err, yes?”

Pascal gave him a look, a sudden smile playing across her face. She looked beautiful when she smiled, he could not help thinking. “My aunt is coming to pick me up,” she told him firmly. “She’ll hate you so much – she hates cheeky young men.”

“That,” Sirius said, in a most solemn voice. “Could definitely make things uncomfortable.”

Suddenly, Pascal was laughing. It was like honey being poured into a glass jug that had not seen fluid for ages. “I don’t meet people, Mr. Black,” she said finally. “I thought I told you that I don’t go into society.”

“But I do,” Sirius said at once. “Come on, Pascal. Just this once?”

Her expression changed and, suddenly, she looked troubled. “How do I know you won’t hurt me?” she asked softly. “People see my face and they think I’m beautiful. Then I leave and they realize that they let my beauty hoodwink their senses. I can’t even walk, for Heaven’s sake. I don’t want to get hurt again, Sirius. I’ve been hurt too many times already.”

He did not know how to answer her question. He only felt that, at the moment, nothing was of greater significance to him than assuring her that he would not. His hand fond hers, almost without his knowing it and, before he knew it, it had closed around it. “I promise, Pascal.”

*gasp*

Things are heating up!

Can't wait to see how the aunt reacts!

Love
.:Adrienne:. <3

Aww shucks. That was so cute of her -huggles Pascal-

Naaaah. How can anyone hate cheeky young men?

They're sweet together ^^ Can't wait to see where they set off to round Paris XD

Lovely, optimistic updates, mah sis <3

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He struggled to speak, just like she had struggled to walk. Then he couldn’t control his emotions. “Sorry? Pascal, I’m torn,” he burst out.

Awww… poor Sirius! Poor Pascal!!

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She turned away, her eyes wet. “I told you my daddy loves me. When I was sixteen, he bought me a really expensive car. He said I could drive it around, wherever I liked, whenever I liked. Some old fool rammed his own car into mine, though. My friends would come to visit me in hospital, assuring me that I would get better soon. Then weeks flew by and I did not. They don’t even come to meet me anymore, much less give me any assurance.”

*Feels bad for Pascal*

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“Don’t be sorry!” she spat at him. “I don’t need anybody being sorry for me. It’s always the same with everyone. Pity, pity, pity – That’s all I get. I want the friendships I used to have back. I want the love I used to get back. I want me back.”

Isn’t there any spell or anything of the sort to help her?

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Without a word, he took Pascal’s hand and helped her down. None spoke.

It’s really nice of Sirius to help her *pets him*

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“Yes, you are,” Sirius corrected her. “You’re feeling sorry for yourself.” She looked at him with angry eyes. “Am not.”

Sirius has the gift of being able to see through people…

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Sirius shrugged. “I’ve got no idea, if truth be told. I guess I’ll find some place. You?”

Oh, building the perfect scenario for them to be together…
Cheeky Maxie…

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She looked up at him, her eyes back to their usual, child-like ones. “I can’t,” she said simply.

Oh good, at least she’s not in denial…

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“– Sirius –” “– I really don’t anything about Paris –” “– Sirius –” “– so you could show me around and –” “SIRIUS.”

*Snaps him out of it*

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“That,” Sirius said, in a most solemn voice. “Could definitely make things uncomfortable.”

Me: Oh no… really? You think?

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It was like honey being poured into a glass jug that had not seen fluid for ages.

Weird comparison… but I like it

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“People see my face and they think I’m beautiful. Then I leave and they realize that they let my beauty hoodwink their senses. I can’t even walk, for Heaven’s sake.

Oh how modest of her…

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His hand fond hers, almost without his knowing it and, before he knew it, it had closed around it. “I promise, Pascal.”

Oh how sweet! I just hope he keeps his promise…

Loved both posts Maxie luff!
I tried to answer the previous post last night but for some strange reason SS hasn’t been too friendly with me lately and at times it won’t let me enter any part of the site…
Brilliant writing luff!!
PAMS!
-Emma

P.S. 8 days until you see tanzeel? May I ask where he is?

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Originally Posted by Part-Sirius Lovely, optimistic updates, mah sis <3

Thanks. I was thinking it was time we got to the more "hopeful" parts, you know. XD

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Originally Posted by Lea Falling in love with the strory more and more, post by post!

Thank you! <3

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Originally Posted by Emma Isn’t there any spell or anything of the sort to help her?

Yeah, I thought of that, but then I sort of wondered how there would never have been a St. Mungo's if everything was curable by magic, so . . . *shrug-shrug* ^^

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Cheeky Maxie…

Tee hee. *hugs her Ancient love*

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I tried to answer the previous post last night but for some strange reason SS hasn’t been too friendly with me lately and at times it won’t let me enter any part of the site…

*pokes SS* Bad SS, bad. =D

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P.S. 8 days until you see tanzeel? May I ask where he is?

Somewhere out of this city . . . =(

On a side note, I don't know if I'll be around too often the coming week. I'm sort of grounded, thanks be to my dad. [He's out right now ]. Anyways, hang around, guys.

pascal isnt the only one with the self pitying problem, it seems. i always pity myself too! people dotn pity me much. i really dont pity pascal though. she's way much stronger than others with a tiny problem. ego. everyone (that inmcludes me) has ego, so i dont really look on that side. sirius is like... a sage now. totally understanding.

btw, sorry for missing out on so much. lvoed the new posts, maxie! PAMS
<3 may

Well then, hey Maxie.

You know, this post made me realize that I'm still not sure whether or not Pascal is a character I like - her self-pitying and exaggerated vulnerability kind of makes me not like her. But then again, I don't need to like each character to love the story!

Sirius, however, I cannot help but love, the way you portray him!

Last update 07-07-2007

Reactivated by request.