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blonder_than_u · 03-26-2007, 04:17 AM

A/N: This is a Romance Story yes, but it does contain topics not fit for those who are below 16 years old. Please Read upon your own accord, and when you read it, please comment on it.

Memories
Intro: Hatred and more Hate
Lily Evans hated everything about James Potter. Everything. She never wanted to touch
him, look at him, or anything with him. She hated him with all of herself (or so shethought).

Some days she wanted to kill him and some of the other days she didn’t mind him. For some strange reason he had liked her when she was in fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He and his friends were arrogant, boring, or just plain prats (he wasn’t boring, he was just arrogant and a prat). It aggravated her to think that he and his friends thought she would ever like him, or that she liked him. What and who gave them that Idea?

Intro Part 2: Love Hate Friendships
Hermione Granger had been friends with Ron Weasley since first year. She didn’t have any “female” friends at all. His sister was the only girl she got along with in her house at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Two years ago Ron had given her perfume for Christmas and it was a bit of an odd (musty, horrible smell). She thought it was sweet though and didn’t think much of it. Ron and Hermione are always fighting, they hate each other it seems. They nag at each other and make up later on in an I’m sorry I really want to be your friend still way.

A/N: Listen To Your Heart is a twisted LJ fanfiction. It is going to deal with a lot of things that life and relationships deal with. It is in seventh year and there are things that happen and are going to happen that are funny, odd, romantic, and not what you would expect.

A/N: It is going to be a bit of a confusing story. Its also a Rhr story. Is going to be very “repetitive” in an uncanny way. AKA Hermione’s life is seeming to echo Lily’s life in seventh year.

Chapter ONE: In the next chapter it is a hogsmeade trip and Lily is the head girl. Some events happen in hogsmeade that she misses and they really are “disgusting” to her.

Chapter One: Of missed trips and missed steps

Lily Evans sat in the common room holding her new diary. The binding wasn’t cracked or splitting like all of her others and the front had a small lock that was opened by her heart locket when placed open on the lock. The cover had a picture of her it had been taken last year. She was sitting on the swing in her favorite child hood place, her mom’s flower garden. In the picture she was wearing a pink gauze dress, she was going to the annual summer party next door, and she looked like a faerie. Her red hair curled and her make-up seemed to make her sparkle.

Lily’s quill was poised gently in her hand. It had been like that for five minutes. She had been pouring her heart out onto the first few pages of her diary; it was one of her only friends. She could tell it the whole truth without fearing people finding out. Lily smiled at herself as she read over her entry. She looked out of the window and saw the sun was starting to set over the Scottish horizon and the sky had been dusted with a golden shine of light. The beauty of the sunset caught her for a moment, and she quickly grabbed up her quill and ink and left the common room. She put her things down on her bedside table and grabbed her clothing and a towel and took a quick shower. When she got out she felt better she quickly dried off and pulled on a clean bra and pair of underwear. She stepped into her skirt and buttoned it up. Grabbing her shirt and throwing it on she quickly buttoned it up correctly and pulled on her socks and shoes and threw her robes on.

She put towel away in her room and ran down the steps of the common room to the portrait. She swung it open and stepped outside running down the steps and was careful to miss the fake step. When she managed to get to the great hall everyone was filing into the room for dinner. She walked as quickly as she could in the crowd of people swarming into the room and found an empty spot close to the middle of the table.

“Hey Lil!” The cheery voice of Lily’s best friend Laura Rhain came. Laura took a seat across from Lily. Laura seemed extremely happy today, her big icy-aqua blue eyes seemed to shine with extra gleam and happiness today. “Its too bad you missed the trip Lil!” Laura said with a glint in her eyes. She began to twirl a piece of her shiny maple hair.

“Well you know what was up. I had some stuff to do and people to ignore!” Lily said with a smile, Laura’s chipper mood had lifted Lily’s spirits yet again. Lily took a sip of her sweet and spicy pumpkin juice.

“Lil, I got you this,” Laura smiled at her. Laura’s eyes shone the joy and happiness of a little girl. It was nice to see, Laura wasn’t really ever this happy unless something really good happened to her. Laura handed Lily a package wrapped with shiny gold paper and it had a red bow on the top of it. Lily set it down next to her plate. “Well, open it in the dorm, or the common room either one! It’s too crowded in here!” Laura said and began to fidget with her hair.

“Okay,” Lily said smiling she looked around, the hall was getting to be in order for dinner and the plates had been teaming with food for a while now.

“Evans.” Lily heard the smooth arrogant voice come from behind her. “You seem happy,” the person added in a sarcastically happy way. Lily knew the voice far to well; only one person had a voice like that. That one person with that one voice had pestered her for years. The one the only James Potter had always tried to talk to her it was either to get her to laugh, make a joke on her, to taunt her, to tease her, to annoy her, to be friendly (which hardly ever happened), to fight with her, or to eventually ask her out (millions of times). She knew him too well in a non-friend non-girl friend more an enemy that’s not an “ENEMY” enemy way. He and his friends just for some reason had wanted to get her and James together. She had no clue why; it was probably just another plot, what ever he was doing.

“Hello Potter,” Lily said and rolled her eyes. She had just looked down at her plate and was planning on ignoring him, even if he tried to talk to her. It didn’t work; he took a seat next to her (can anyone say hell on earth?). She wouldn’t be able to ignore him if he was right there! It would be too hard….

“Beautiful isn’t it Evans?” Potter asked and Lily didn’t bother to look, she didn’t feel like it would be a good idea. It probably was a joke that Potter and his friends were using here in. Another scheme that would fail before it took off the ground. She would never fall for a scheme that would have her fall for him! Never! It might just be something that would hurt her in the long run. “Evans you didn’t look! Look across the damn table!” He hissed next to her. She could tell he was mad, probably raving about her ignoring him and not doing as he said. She never did, she never would.

“WHAT?” Lily hissed back at him annoyed she could ream him right now and wouldn’t care what the outcome was. She began to lift her head up and saw something that made her heart and everything that was in her stomach seemed to lurch. She couldn’t believe her eyes. What she saw could kill anything; it would even kill a basilisk. “Oh God I’m gunna’ be sick!” Lily said in a gasp as she saw Laura and Sirius kissing and holding hands. “L-Laura! How-err-what happened today when I wasn’t on the trip with you? What’s going on?” Lily asked as her heart began to pound quickly. She felt all in a knot.

“I felt the same way,” Potter said to Lily in a smugly. Lily rolled her eyes at him and avoided looking at Laura and Sirius.

“What kind of sick joke is this?” Lily asked curtly through gritted teeth. She looked over and kept her eyes locked coldly on James’s eyes. “Do you always have to be a sick jerk? What is your problem?”

“Its no joke Lils!” Laura said in a smooth voice that kept from wavering. She didn’t seem to notice that Lily was disgusted by how and what she was doing with him noneth less. Lily felt worse when she heard this; somehow Laura’s usually cool sensitive voice didn’t have a calming friendly vibe to it. It disgusted Lily. She needed to escape. How could she do this? It was just wrong! C’mon Sirius Black! The big womanizer, the biggest womanizer in the whole school! Laura’s brain must have friend or something! “You would have known if you were on the trip Lils! I-I was going to tell you tonight in the dorm! It happened today, I-it I’ll explain it all to you later Lil trust me!” Laura pleaded and gave Lily her big wide-eyed puppy-dog eyes.

Lily gulped. She didn’t want her best friend dating that! How could this happen! Lily shook her head and stood quickly from her seat and walked out to the entrance hall. She began to walk up the stairs thinking to herself and feeling like she could die right there. Her life was taking too many unexpected turns in one day.

“How could she?” Lily whispered and gulped down the urge to scream and cry. She was nearly halfway up the stairs and she took a deep breath and tried to pull the image from her mind. She tried to forget what she had seen.
“Evans!” Lily James Potter call after here. They didn’t call each other James and Lily; it didn’t fit their relationship. She would never call a rival by their first name.

“Potter.” Lily said turning to face the black haired hazel eyed seventeen year old bounding up the stairs behind her. Their eyes held for a moment.

“L-Evans you forgot this” he said gently and quietly. Did she just hear him stammer and almost call her Lily? No she couldn’t have, it was just her imagination going frantic again! He handed Lily the gift Laura had gotten her in a softer way than he usually would, or so it seemed. “I know how you feel,” he said before turning to head up the stairs.

“Oh,” Lily mumbled in a low whisper. Her eyes glanced at the hem of his robes and back down to the stairs below her. She took a deep breath and began to walk up the stairs again. She fell into sync behind him, two steps behind him. They walked like this for a minute or two only a few minutes apart. It lasted a only a moment but it was a nicer moment than all of the other that she had felt today, it was a quiet and calm moment. There was no annoying taunting and teasing on anyone’s half. It only lasted a moment but it would last forever in her mind.

Lily took a step forward and regretted it fully afterwards. James was further ahead of her now, and it scarred her. She was getting scared that she would be like this for a long time. “Oh no!” she cried out quietly. She was sinking down into the step. “James!” Lily called or frantically and loudly. “WAIT!” she yelled up to him.

She was watching him her eyes, or so she thought they were, had become huge with fear. She was wide-eyed with horror. “What?” He said and turning around, she watched him turn around to see her there; she was a girl sinking further and further into a fake step. She heard him laugh quietly before walking down to her. “Here,” he said smiling and stepping to the step behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, she could heel his arms around her waist and gasped.

“What’s wrong Evans?” James asked with a laugh his hazel eyes, black hair, and his whole face seemed to be press lightly against hers. He was pulling her slowly out of the step. She had sunk down to her hips.

“Potter,” Lily said questioningly she felt nervous with him so close to her. She almost felt that it would have been better to have a different person catch her.

“Evans,” He said softly and bent down again and pulled her out of the step. For a moment it seemed like their eyes clicked, and not with hate or annoyance with something else something softer. Just for a moment.

Chapter Two: Of Dreams, Lies, and Tears
Chapter Three: Of Meetings and Games
Chapter Four: Of the Falling and Boyfriends
Chapter Five: Of Replays and Two J’s
Chapter Six: Of Dreams and Break downs
Chapter Seven: Regretless Requirements
Chapter Eight: From good to Bad
Chapter Nine: White Hogsmeade
Chapter 10: Holiday cheer
Chapter Eleven: One Lump or Two
Chapter 12: Green Embers
Chapter 13: Green Embers Continued
Chapter 14: Captive
Chapter 15: Of Gifts and Gala Occasions
Chapter 16: Snapshot
Chapter 17: Oceans
Chapter 18: Holidays from the Past
Chapter 19: The Blonde and the Not-so Bomb Shell
Chapter 20: Enraged and…
Chapter 20: Happy Christmas
Chapter 21: Swirls, Twirls, and other words for Fancy Footwork.
Chapter 22: The Weekend
Chapter 23: Contemplations
Chapter 24: Making Memories
Chapter 25: A Dark Captivity

Radcliffe's lil angel · 03-27-2007, 06:16 PM

wow so cool this is so sweet! PAMS!!!! Em

blonder_than_u · 03-27-2007, 07:10 PM

Oh thanks for eeading it Radcliffe's Lil Angel and there is alot more to come. Much Much more indeed.

And to everyone, I have been working on both this story, and my others for quiet some time.

Chapter Two: Of Dreams, Lies, and Tears

Lily Evans could barley sleep the night after the incident on the stairs. She had woken up millions of times to what she thought were “nightmares”. They were nightmares for her, because she felt like she liked them. In each dream that night, a there were five or six of them, she had nearly kiss James Potter, Kissed him, and even made-out with James Potter more then once. It seemed to happen seventeen times one dream, and that was enough for her to loose control of her dream world and force herself to wake up. She looked at her clock when she woke up for the tenth time that night and found it was now 5:09 AM. Dangnabit its early! She thought and rubbed her eyes to wake herself up. There was no way she could sleep now.

Lily opened the curtains and swung her feet over the edge of her bed and searched with her foot for her slippers. When she finally found them she put them on and got out of bed. She walked to her trunk and pulled out her day-clothes, bathroom (shower) kit, and a towel she charmed in third year to dry itself. She walked into the bathroom and let the hot water and the essence of rose and jasmine wake her body, mind, and soul up. It worked well and when she felt awake and clean she dried off and pulled on all of her clean clothing. Making sure she had her quill, ink, and diary with her she began to walk down to the common room after checking that her shoes were clasped well and her robe wouldn’t get stuck on any door handles.

When she stepped off of the last stair to the girls dormitory she walked as gracefully as she could in the sleepy morning hours. She walked over to a large over stuffed plush red sofa. The sofa was soft and had been adorned with soft, silken, smooth, golden pillows. It looked like the perfect spot for graduation pictures in gryffindor. She picked up her quill and began to write on a blank page of her diary. She smiled as she read over what she wrote.

Dear Diary,
James pulled me out of the fake step last night. Something odd happened though, when he pulled me out, he pulled me from the waist. Not from where I expected him to pull me from. I would have expected him to grab my hand and pull me out, but the scary thing is I think I liked it. ALSO, another scary thing! I said his name, well last name. I think I as about to thank him for helping me or something. All he did was say my name in this weird almost soft way. It was in this way that could mean he still likes me! Or never stopped liking me from fifth year on at all! Yet he did hold my gaze for a moment, he held it until he pulled me out of the hole completely. It was odd.
Laura and Sirius Black are dating. I witnessed a sad, disgusting event the other day. Them kissing yuck (I know little muggle toddler age thing to do but…she’s my friend and he’s an bloooopie-poopie! I mean they already dated and broke up last year!)
LE.

Lily leaned forward and set her quill and diary down. Today there was a quidditch match. She had promised Laura she would go, even though Laura would only be eyeing Sirius and snogging him in the stands. Typical.
“Evans your up early,” Potter said walking down the stairs from the boys dormitory. Lily could hear him walking towards her and didn’t move, even when he sat down on the chair next to her. Yawning. Lily smile a bit, it was merely a ghost of a smile. She kept her eyes on the hem of fire, but she could feel Potter looking at her.

“I couldn’t sleep” she said after a moment faking a yawn. She smiled and felt like she was comfortable right there for a moment. Sitting in a chair next to him it would be better if…No, NO! Never think that! Lily! she scolded her mind and leaned back in the chair curling her legs under her.

“I couldn’t sleep” he said to her in a soft-ish way. “I had a weird dream” he said after a moment. The tension in the room was building and Lily could feel the weight. It was like an impending doom, it felt like her chest was being pressed down by weights.

“Oh, really? What happened” Lily asked nicely to see what was wrong, but still it was awkward talking to James Potter in a chummy manor. It didn’t feel right. Nothing about him ever did.

“All of this years gryffindor were in my dream” he said smiling. “No one else though really, we were all friends. It felt so weird, I think it was an image of graduation or something because we were all so Happy. And then again there was a picture of all of this years gryffindor together huddled around this chair. You, Laura, Sirius, and I were the people on the chair though. Everyone else was either standing behind his, or kneeling in front of us. We were smiling like a bunch of freaks too.” James added with a sigh. “That wasn’t the odd part, the odd part was…that we were friends.” He said looking over at her in a questioning way. “It felt odd though, it felt off. There was something weird to it…the weird part was probably the fact that there were butterflies floating with fairies around the picture. Also that there were people dancing, I couldn’t see the face of the person I was dancing with…all I knew was they were wearing white!” He said to her and Lily felt the tension grow again and again.

“Oh, mine had gryffindor in it too” she said with a shudder. She needed hers to break this feeling of tension quickly. She needed something horribly bad. “Mine had all of the gryffindor I mean all! Even the ones who graduated already. Something killed them, most of them…until only you Sirius Laura and I survived. It was depressing, because in the end, Only I was alive. I was standing in the grave yard crying looking at a grave stone of someone, someone dear to me. I don’t know who though,” Lily said forcing herself to look scared, confused, and like the dream was real.

Lily felt odd talking to James Potter, it felt unreal. Surreal in a hell-dimension way. Lily felt herself wanting, knowing, and feeling like this had to be another hoax. Something to get her to trust him and to make her believe him and feel safe around him. So that he could “pull one” on her. Everything was a joke to him, and she hated it. She hated him. It had to be another way to kill and hurt her. Just another day, another way, and anything to get by in a world with James Potter Satin if you can call it another name...

After a half an-hour or so at around 7:00 am. Lily felt the need to break the odd silence that had fallen on the two of them after her dream was told. Her fake dream. Her real dream scared the crap out of her, and it probably would have killed him from the shock of it. She would never tell anyone about it, no one except her trusted diary.

“Well” James said quietly breaking the eerie silence and cutting down the building tension. He seemed to be nervous, that was at least the vibe that Lily had gotten from him, or was it what she was feeling she couldn’t tell at the moment. It was too confusing she was too confused already to understand her own thoughts and feelings. “Yeah-um” he added unevenly and in a higher voice then usual. It seemed to make him sound scared and her thought was proved. He was nervous. Of what though, was she that scary?

“I-I-I’ll-Err- I’ll see you later” Lily finally spat out after a temporary break for stuttering. Lily could feel herself beginning to blush. WHAT!!! Why the heckeroonie was she blushing?! Lily wondered for a moment before continuing to speak. “Good Luck in the match today” she said smiling and began to stand up. Her legs tingling, tired from being underneath her.

“Yeah, I’ll-err-see you later” James said, wait since when did I start to think of him as James?. “Yeah, bye I’m-err-I’ll be at breakfast now-bye” he added in what seemed an awkward way. He added and stood to leave. When he had left and her legs had begun to circulate blood again she walked a little bit unsteadily towards the girls dorm. Even before she reached the stair case she felt something pushing into the side of her leg. OWW! What is that sharp thing? Lily thought and pulled out the gift from Laura which was still in its box from her pocket. She walked away from the stairs and headed smiling to the great hall. She walked to the great hall and looked around she found Laura and took a seat across from her.

“Hey Lorr!” she said smiling at her. She took a bite of eggs before she realized she had happened to sit right next to James Potter. She smiled at Laura as she opened the box. She pulled a gold locket out of the box. “Lorr its beautiful” she said amazed.

“Waite! That’s not what I got you” Laura said confused. “I got you a music box.” Laura said confused. “H-how did my gift change forms!? It didn’t have any magical description except a dancing ballerina and the songs it played! It never said anything about it changing forms…wait…can I see the box Lily” Laura said her eye brows furrowed in a confused ‘what the heck’ way. A look she was famous for, well at least with Lily and the gryffindors. “Its not the box!” Laura said shocked with an air of relief. “Wait-how did the whole gift change?” Laura said in yet another confused tone. Lily’s fork clanked loudly onto her plate. “What gives Lily? What’s wrong?” Laura asked feeling the vibes lily was throwing around like tennis balls.

Lily just glared next to her. “What does it do Potter?” Lily asked accusingly. “What the hell does this thing that I’m holding do?” Lily said through gritted teeth. Lily was glaring at him, and she could tell that he was surprised. She was expecting this much though. He always did this. Always.

“What do you Mean?” He asked confused. “Why are you pinning this on me Evans?” He asked trying to make it seem like it wasn’t his fault. She knew better.

“You returned this to me. But, YOU switched it before you gave it to me. What does it do? What is the joke it does?” Lily asked accusingly. “What will it make me tell you how I feel about you? Hmm? Well, we all know that you know that.” She said harshly. She couldn’t care less how he felt at the moment. He was just nothing, he was only slime to her at the moment, no not just at that moment. At every moment, she would never be friends with him. She would never be kind to him. She would always and forever hate James the Prat Potter. “Where is it Potter!” She hissed at him her anger and rage pouring through her mouth like the fake rain beginning to fall down onto them.

“What are you talking about Evans! I didn’t change or switch anything on you Evans! What’s with all of this sudden anger, you need to ca-”

“Calm down? Hmm, why should I? I know why I shouldn’t! I won’t calm down because I hate you! You ALWAYS do Jokes on me! This is the last of it Potter!” Lily said with a force of hatred that could rip the world in two (luckily it didn’t). “If you don’t have anything more to say, I’m leaving. Unless you want to spill out the location of Laura’s gift I won’t talk to you today! Okay Potter?” Lily hissed at him.

“I don’t know where it Is Evans! Believe me!” Potter said to her trying to calm her down or something. It wasn’t going to work. She wouldn’t let it work.
“Yeah right, Me believe you?!” Lily spat at him.

“We’re head boy and head girl Evans! We need to at least TRY to get along! We don’t want to scare off all the school and make them HATE us!? If you want the whole school to think your insane keep yelling Evans!” Potter said forcefully to her in a tone that was shocking and most unnecessary.

“You Jerk! You are the one who always mocks people, and everyone knows that you mock me and use me as a Joke! God Potter! Get a fecking Life! Oh, and you and your friends, keep the bloody heckeroonie away from me. This isn’t a warning. it’s a threat!” Lily said through gritted teeth. Her eyes pinning him where he was. Or so it seemed.

“Wow, didn’t know you threatened people Evans. Always thought you were the no-harm type. Well this should be an interesting year.” James said in an arrogant tone.

“You, you arrogant prat!” Lily snapped at him. “I HATE YOU!” She said standing suddenly and slapping him in a forceful way. So hard that the mark seemed it would never fade away. Lily stormed off walking out of the great hall. She ran up the stairs her feet pulling her to the only place she felt safe. To the Library.

“What the? EVANS!” She heard potter mumble while she walked off, and when she began walking up the stairs she heard him call after her. She didn’t want to see, speak, or think about him. She wanted to go and learn a way to make someone disappear with out killing them. She wanted to avoid him forever. FOREVER!

Radcliffe's lil angel · 03-28-2007, 08:57 PM

*ishspeechlish* wow comes out of it wow agaian I didn't know lily could do that PAMS!!!! *ishinaaaawwwww*

blonder_than_u · 03-28-2007, 11:15 PM

Chapter Three: Of Meetings and Games

“James” Lily said coldly as he appeared from beneath his invisibility cloak. He shook out his hair and put his invisibility cloak into his quidditch bag. He smiled awkwardly down at her, his expression showing a ‘you found me’ hint of mischievousness.

“Lily” he said looking at her sincerely. “When you left the great hall Laura told me what she had gotten you. I-I didn’t look in the box, or take it, or anything like that.” James said softly to her the words tripping out of his mouth and making him stutter. “I-I dind’t take anything out of it either…I-I I’m sorry okay?” He added softly. With each word white puffs of steamy warmth blew from his lips. The warmth of his breath mingled into the cold rainy Scottish day. Lily crossed her arms in front of her, dawning a tough look that would have shocked anyone who didn’t know her into thinking she was a permanent jerk. However, it didn’t have such effects on people who knew her. They knew her soft side too well everyone knew it.
“Oh,” Lily said quietly the cold of the rainy day showing through in her voice. She looked at the ground watching the streams of rain tumble to the lake.

“I-I did have it though,” He admitted sitting next to her under the beach tree.

“What?” Lily almost yelled. “First you said you didn’t have it now you say that you did! I knew it! I just bloody knew it! I just knew that you had it and were lying to me the whole time! I-I I’m, Bye” She said her words flew like the pouring rain. Perpetually tumbling from her mouth with no hope of clearing up. She got up pushing her self off of the ground by shoving herself off of the tree.

“LILY!” James said forcefully and soon she felt him grab her arm. Holding her captive with him. Lily looked down at his hand repulsed but he didn’t move his hands off of her. He pulled himself up so that he was towering above her. “I didn’t lie” He said softly, his voice felt coarse to her ears. His other hand grabbed her arm and he pulled her round so that she had to see his face, his body, so she had to see him so close to her. “I never would, I-I never would lie! Not to you!” He said softly to her.

“Then how did you have the gift Laura got for me?” Lily asked him her eyes holding his steadily and they pulsed with the fires of love and hate. She took a breath began to speak. “Tell me!” She said quietly but the intensity of her voice could fill a whole stadium. He didn’t answer, he just looked at her, “Tell Me,” She said louder to him.

“I-I, I found it.” He said quietly almost inaudibly. She didn’t hear him and tried to make it out. His eyes showed signs of sorrow, of happiness, and of longing? Or was that just her imagination. She asked him what it was that he had said, saying she hadn’t heard him because of the rain. “Lily” he said softly it seemed as if he was cherishing the word as if it were chocolate or gold or something of value. “I found it.” He added calmly and smiled at her. “Here” he said taking a small box out of his pocket. “This is what she got you,” he said taking out a small mahogany box that was shaped like a heart. She looked into the palm of his hand, seeing that he was holding a music box with the letters ‘listen to your heart’ written in scribed Latin. Her name glistened on the top of the box and a letter hung off of it.

“I-I’m I ended up accusing you of stealing it and yeah, I-I’m sorry” Lily apologized.

“Hey, its okay.” James said to her. Letting go of her other hand. Lily didn’t want to apologize to him. She wanted to fall back on the safety of hating each other. She wanted to have something that wasn’t ever going to happen be a dream. Not a possibility. She wanted a safety net of hate and hurt to keep her away from James and more to keep him away from her. “You don’t need to apologize” James added after a moment of almost deadly silence. “You, you look cold. Here” he said handing her his cloak.

“T-Thanks” Her teeth were chattering and she felt numb through and through. However when James placed his cloak over her shoulders she could feel warmth ebbing through her body. Still this warmth didn’t put a damper to the chill in her bones.

“James,” Lily said looking up to him, straight into his hazel eyes. For a moment she forgot what she was going to say and stood there seeing nothing but him and his eyes. She shook herself from this place quickly and smiled up at him. “Ugh, I wanted to say something to you…” She said and began to fidget with her cloak.

“Yeah” James said and Lily thought for a moment she saw a fire in his eyes. When she looked again though, it was gone.

She smiled up at him and looked down bashfully. “James, Good luck” She said and smiled to him. She looked back up to see him smiling at her, his eyes shone with joy and she couldn’t help but surpass a laugh. He looked like a child when they got the present they wanted for Christmas and thought that ‘I’ll never get it’ but low and behold they did. His eyes held the magic and beauty of childhood filled with happiness and love.

“Thanks,” He said softly and stuck his hand out to her in a friendly way. “Friends? I-I mean, I’m really sick of being enemies… I mean we should try to get along with our two best friends dating. So friends?” He asked tentatively and his smile broadened as their hands clasped together in a friendly, or so it was supposed to be, handshake. She would never say, but secretly she wanted something more…

The game was wonderful and the rain that had threatened the teams with signs of bad weather had cleared as though a spell had been broken. The sun shone brightly and warmed the wet students until they all were dried off. During the game Lily watched carefully as James played.

“Lily,” Laura said to her looking over at her suspiciously. “Is my thought correct, are you…. or do you like James the hunk Potter? The one and only boy who has been swooning over you ever since well…ever?” Laura said with a laugh and Lily could feel the blood rising in her face and she knew she was flushing.

“LAURA” Lily whispered in an accusing tone. “I am friends with him now okay! Friends, just friends and nothing more!” Lily knew though, that Laura did not and would not believe this one bit. She knew Laura would believe that Lily liked James. She knew too, that Laura was right.

blonder_than_u · 03-28-2007, 11:24 PM

Sorry about the spacing issues, its a pain my computer double spaced some of the things on me. But so far I've got some of the chapters online on fanfiction and the rest are on my computer...its still in the works though, so there will come a time when its new chapters that are fresh as well april showers!

blonder_than_u · 03-29-2007, 03:40 AM

Chapter Four: Of the Falling and Boyfriends

“LILY” Laura was at her side. She was calling loudly all was black. The picture began to clear and lily found herself lying on the floor of the entrance hall. She could see fuzzy faces of fellow gryffindors and other students surrounding her. She tried to move, but found it was too hard.

“Back up! Give her some space!” She heard a deep soothing voice coming from near where it sounded Laura was standing. Her vision began to clear again.

“James?” Lily said confused as the fuzzy figure behind Laura came into focus. It was a tall guy in a school uniform and gryffindor robes. She couldn’t see the color of his eyes, but the voice reminded her of James in an uncanny way. “Where am I? W-what happened?” Lily asked her vision clearing again so that she could see the people she was talking to.

No one spoke for a moment, until James walked over to her and knelt next to her. “You fell, someone might have hit you, shoved you, or cast a spell on you to make you fall. But anyway, you feel really, and you, ugh, err, you hit your head on the stairs and tumbled down.” James said as softly as he could. Lily felt an ache in her head and put her hand on her forehead. Her vision was failing her and she could see four James’s all swaying and floating she let out a small grumbling noise and her vision blacked out again.

When she awoke she was lying in white sheets. She was in a room with cold stone walls and there was a lot of white in the room. In the corner there was an old cupboard filled with clean white sheets and in a box next to the cupboard was a small hamper on the floor. Where the sheets were washing themselves inside of it and then drying themselves and hanging up all on the act of magic. She noticed that the window next to her was dark and stars were gleaming outside of the place where she sat in this white room.

“Lily! Your Okay!” She heard Laura say as she ran in at exactly eight o’clock pm, according to the large wall clock opposite Lily’s bed. “We were all worrying so much, they are coming to see if you’re okay…” Laura ran over to her and gave her a large hug. “Lily I am so sorry! I-I didn’t know what was happening! I should have grabbed you, you, looked so scared your eyes. They were so wide in shock! I was scarred! I’m sorry!” Laura said and began to cry next to Lily, her tears cascading and splattering onto the white sheets.

“Laura, its okay.” Lily said sitting up and giving her a hug. “I’m fine, I just don’t know really what happened. How did I end up here?” Lily asked confused all she could remember now was a feeling as though hands were shoving her down the stairs. She had a fuzzy memory of figures standing around here talking to her.

“Lily, James brought you up. He carried you; he-he was one of the guys first on the scene! He made sure you weren’t, weren’t really badly hurt. He and Sirius their the ones who were there first. They helped me and you both out, I was crying lily I almost fell out of shock…Sirius caught me though, James was the one who brought you up here. Oh Lily I was so scarred! Lily, I-I don’t want anything to ever happen to you…you’re my best friend!” Laura added quickly and she put her hand on lily’s forehead.

Stroking her red hair Lily smiled up at Laura and gave her a hug. She knew deep down that this was all Laura needed at the moment. As soon as their hug broke James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter Pettigrew all walked into the room. They walked over to where Lily was lying on the bed and stood above her looming above her like the figures in her memory.

“Hey Lily” James said walking over he was the first to speak of the whole group. Sirius was now caught up in a long passionate kiss with Laura, which like a five or six year old made her feel disgusted. She looked away and looks instead up at James who was now sitting on the edge of her bed. She smiled up at him genuinely. “Lily, what happened earlier? What do you remember?” He asked carefully looking down at her with softer eyes than she could have ever dreamed of.

Lily told him of how she felt hands on her back, two cold strong hands. Shoving her down the stairs. And how the feeling of those hands, had scarred her more than anything yet. “James, I don’t want you to think I’m weak. I-I, they just felt like it was a dead person’s hands, or-or a really dark wizard…someone cold!” Lily said and her voice began to crack. “I didn’t even see anything, I just felt the hands push me…” she said with a shiver and looked back up into his hazel eyes. His eyes were full of concern at the moment. She looked down and a tear began to fall as she remembered the cold feelings of the time before she woke up on the floor, and even later in the hospital wing.

Lily looked up after explaining everything to James. It had taken half and hour and at this time, everyone had left. Everyone that is, except James. Why hadn’t she noticed that they left? After a while Madam Pomfrey an average sized witch in about her 30’s walk in. She was bustling around in the boring nurse uniform of Hogwarts. She walked over to Lily and smiled at her. “You can go dear, be careful though. Maybe don’t go places alone,” Madam Pomfrey said with a chipper tone to her voice.

“Thanks” she said quietly. She sat up and began to get out of the bed. “Hey, James” She said quickly as she stepped off the bed and slipped on her shoes. “Tha-” She began to thank him but he cut her off.

“Its okay, you don’t need to thank me” He said quietly and began to walk with her to the door. “It was really scary,” He said to her as he walked next to her down the hallway. Lily heard his voice in a new way just then, not an arrogant way, but a concerned and caring way.

Lily looked over at James and glared at him. She didn’t know why, but having him tell her not to thank him hurt her. It enraged her. “Potter, you are,” she said accusingly stopping in the middle of the corridor. “I was saying thank you because I thought you deserved it! Okay?” She said from behind her teeth. “Maybe you didn’t its your fecking choice!” Lily wasn’t intimidated by his height. Even though she was 5’6” and he was 6’ tall! She wasn’t intimidated.

James stopped dead in his tracks as Lily yelled at him. She knew she shocked him; it was a week ago that they had agreed to put aside their differences. She knew though that would never really truly happen. She felt the familiar anger pulsing through her veins.

“Hey-” James began to speak but Lily wouldn’t, she couldn’t have it right now.

“NO!” She yelled at him, the fires of rage blazing behind her eyes. “I-” but before she could go on, James had pulled her slowly into him. She felt like screaming. She didn’t know what was happening, she didn’t know why she hadn’t rejected this advance.

Her body was pressed up against his strong muscular quidditch body. She could feel his strength, and also something else, but she couldn’t see what it was just yet. He pulled her into a long kiss. She began to kiss him back before she stopped herself. “What am I doing?” Lily whispered pulling away. She couldn’t muster enough strength to get out of his arms. Nor did she feel like she wanted to. Her mind was in a muddle she was just, confused.

“Lily” He whispered against her cheek. His hands moving one entwined in her hair, the other pressed against the small of her back. Lily didn’t respond she simply stared up into his eyes. She was getting lost in the rich green-brown hazel of his eyes. They pulled her in and kept her warm like and they reminded her of the sweet richness of honey. A pressure began to build behind her eyes. She didn’t know why, but tears were welling in her eyes. “Lily,” James said again, even softer. “Don’t cry,” he whispered kissing away a tear.

Lily moved her hands from his shoulders and whipped away her tears. “James, I hate you,” she said through sobs. “How could you?” She said and began to sob. She didn’t understand her emotions right now and the odd feeling of nothingness floated through her.

“Lily?” He said questioningly. “I’m sorry if I offended you, okay.” He said and leaned down to give her a hug. “We need to talk,” he said grabbing her hand and leading her down a hallway.

“Where are we going?” Lily asked confused as James stopped in front of a blank piece of wall. She looked down at the floor refusing to meet James’s eyes. She didn’t want to be pulled into them. It was her downfall they were her downfall. When she looked back up there was door in front of her.

“Are you coming or not?” James asked his voice low it seemed to be coming from the back of his throat. Grudgingly Lily followed him into a large room. It was an image of a quant sitting room with a large stone fireplace a lion’s head engraved on the mantel. The floor was hard wood. There was a large red rug on the floor with gold details. On the wall above the fireplace there were pictures and there was a small golden love seat in front of the blazing fireplace, it was far enough away to stay warm and fit a small coffee table in front of the love seat. On the coffee table there were books, and photo albums. There was a small record player in the corner on the room. There was a tray with food and drinks on it. Lily looked around taken aback by the beauty of this room. What was this room?
“What is this place?” She asked her jaw dropped. She looked slowly over to James and she thought she caught the end of smirk. As soon as she saw it, it disappeared.

“This Mrs. Evans” he said calmly, “is the room of requirements,” he said with a smile. “This is a secret room, and if you go looking for it, you will not find it. If your good…I might teach you how to find it,” he said with a laugh. Lily could feel a blush rising in her cheeks.

“James what are you playing at?” Lily asked she could feel her heart racing. She watched him carefully studying him and what he was doing. She tried to find a hint as to why she was here. Why they were here? She took a careful step back as James stepped closer to her. She continued stepping away from him, until she felt the cold hard solid feeling of the wall. James was now just an inch away from her; he could easily touch her by moving even a pinky. She blushed as she took the final step up to her so she was effectively pinned against the wall.

“Your beautiful” He said softly leaning in and breathing against her cheek. His hot breathe tickling her skin and leaving a burning sensation that ran through her skin and pulsed through her veins.

“James” She said with a sigh. She was confused and felt an urge to feel what he felt, to see what he saw, to think what he thought. She wanted for a moment to live with him forever. She wanted to be the one by his side as he died, and yet at the same time she knew she could never be that girl. She craned her neck to see into his eyes, and her breath caught as she saw her reflected in his glasses. She gulped quietly and tried not to be surprised of how she looked in her reflection. James brushed her hair out of her face slowly and tentatively began to kiss her on the neck. Lily sighed and looked up at him in a new light that she didn’t quiet understand.
“James” she said even softer than she imagined ever saying his name.
Right as she was about to start talking and asking him questions he kissed her full on the lips. It wasn’t like any kiss Lily had ever experienced. It was soft and passionate and she could feel the longing that he had felt. It was sheer bliss to her. Everywhere his lips touched her the skin burned like small fires placed into her body. As James’s hands began to travel over her body she felt an aching that never existed before. Her back stiffened as his hands began to travel up her shirt; he had begun to play with her bra. Lily blushed violently. “James, I can’t, I’m sorry! But I just can’t.” She said forcefully and pushed him off of her. She fixed her top and made sure her bra was completely snapped.

“What is it Evans?” James asked a different fire burning in his eyes. “WHAT?” He snapped loudly. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she could never do anything like this with him again. It wasn’t right. She didn’t want to lead him on and then break his heart at the end of the year.

“James, I-I’ve-I’m Dating someone…I’m sorry” She said and grabbed her robe which she had thrown off in the heat of the moment. “Look, I’ve got to go.” She said tears welling up in her eyes. She began to start for the door but he got there before her and held it closed.

“You have a boyfriend? Eh? Who is it Evans?” He asked confused. He was staring at her slightly pained expression just barley hidden beneath a mask of manly toughness.

Lily gulped and felt a lump in her throat. She hadn’t known that James didn’t know this yet. “He’s a…someone you don’t know” she lied and began to blush.

“Who is it, humor me Evans?” James said strongly pinning her to the floor with his dark gaze.

“Ask your friends James! I-I do not want to tell you, okay! I don’t want to tell you, because I’m afraid of what the bloody 'eck you would do! Move!” Lily screamed at him her eyes dangerously flashing.

“Fine Evans” He said poignantly He moved from the doorway, but stood near enough so Lily had to squeeze past him. “Evans, before you go” he said softly but she could feel the hurt in her voice. He grabbed her hand softly and looked into her eyes, his expression mottled. He pressed forward and opened the door slightly, but leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was shorter, and less passionate then the past one. It seemed to be a way of James saying good-bye with no words. No words just lips.

Lily ran down the rest of the way to Gryffindor tower. As she stepped into the common room she walked over to the fireplace and sat down next to Laura. “Hey, Laura…can we talk, in private” Lily said an urgency in her voice. She walked into the corner of the room, where no one could hear them and she told her what had happened. She told her everything, and how she had to tell him that she had a boyfriend…that Sirius, Remus, and Peter Pettigrew never told him that she had a boyfriend.

“Never?” Laura said with a hint of distaste on her voice. “I’ll be right back,” she said and Lily watched from the corner window and saw the portrait hole open. Her breath caught, she feared it would be James. It wasn’t James though. She smiled as she saw him walk into the hall. She walked over to the guy standing still under the shadow of the portrait.
“Hey Lil” He said softly kissing her on the lips.

“Hey John” She said softly. She leaned in and kissed him back, and as they stood there innocently kissing, she didn’t even notice the door open. Or the boy standing barely inside of the hole his mouth gaping, the only guy on Lily’s mind that moment was John Thomas. She knew he would disapprove of what had happened earlier in the room of requirements. She decided to keep things quiet for a while and tell him when the time was right. That night when Lily went to bed she fell asleep thinking of how she would tell John, and she dreamt of what had happened that evening. She dreamt of the way he had kissed her, the way he a touched her, she knew it was wrong but she wanted to be touched like that again. Touched ever so tenderly.

Radcliffe's lil angel · 03-29-2007, 04:47 PM

oh my gosh!!!!! why did Lily pull away she should have stayed! and whos this John guy? poor Lily shes so confused! PAMS!!!!

blonder_than_u · 03-29-2007, 07:48 PM

Hehe, John is named John Thomas (random name honestly...) and 'John' is Lily's current boyfriend...see?

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