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Hecate · 06-30-2007, 10:48 PM

Disclamer: I own everything except the HP Characters. The character Cory I own, the poem is DEFFINATELY my possession as it was written in an English class whilst I was recovering from a break-up, the plot is mine, and the character's actions in this fic are mine. the fic was written in the same month as the poem, except in a boring science lesson with a friend's help
Inside my mind- Ginevra Molly Weasley's story

I looked at my friends.
Colin, Hermione Luna, Seamus, Padma, I love them all.
Things started off rocky with Cory Lozeells and I.
He was the last boyfriend my dad tried to push on me.
My dad pushed him on me because Cory was considerably richer than us; Dad saying he wanted what was best for me.
I hated it at first, but I had grown to love him.
I glanced at my parchment in my lap, my quill in hand, I put the quill to it and began to write.
When we were together
You made me whole
You made me feel like I could do anything
I was useful
I was noticed
You needed me, I needed you
I glanced up again. I see Harry. Ron.
They made my life hell when they found out I was with Cory.
They didn't realise that dad had set me up with him.
Even when Cory was restricting me, subjecting me, I still loved him. I continued writing.
When we were together
We always had fun
Laughing, joking
Being in love
I lit up when you were there
I’m sure you did the same with me
"Ginny." Cory said fiercely.
I looked over at him.
The look in his eyes told me he wasn't happy.
I knew I'd get hurt, but to have seen him happy, I would've gladly taken the Cruciatus Curse or got burnt.
I waited for his answer to my look.
I looked to my parchment and quill again.
I loved you
I needed you
Why did you do this?
I loved you
I needed you
Am I that bad to be with?
"Ginny!" this time he shouted.
I looked at him. "Yes?"
He looked me over, sneering. "You're too fat."
"I am trying," I whispered.
"Trying to do what?!" he glared.
"To lose weight," I whispered.
"Try harder!!" he shouted.
I flinched at his harsh words.
I couldn’t see
I couldn’t hear
Love makes us blind
Love makes us hear only what we wish
My friends warned me about you
He walked out as Harry and Hermione walked in.
"Hey Ginny," Hermione said.
"Where have you two been?" I asked, grinning. Only Hermione knew that I knew of her and Harry's secret in the restricted section of the library
They don't call it the restricted section for nothing.
Hermione went bright red as she said, "In the library, studying."
"Hm. If you two were studying then Hungarian Horntails don't exist," I said smirking.
"We were!" Hermione blushed redder than what was thought possible.
They saw right through you
My dad tried to protect me
To stop my heart from being broken
You weren’t to be trusted
You are the same as every other guy
Cold to love
Don’t think I will take you back
"Ginny. Talk to me, What's bothering you?" Hermione asked, as if seeing through my fake facade.
"Nothing," I told her, my eyes not leaving my parchment as I began masking my emotions.
"Look at me," she said gently.
I looked up at her after a couple of minutes whilst I had finished masking my true emotions. I looked at her with a blank expression.
I looked back to my parchment and continued writing.
I loved you
I needed you
Why did you do this?
I loved you
I needed you
Am I that bad to be with?
"If you don't talk to us. Gin we can't help you and con't be there for you," Hermione said.
"Yeah well maybe I don't want you to be there for me. Maybe I WANT to suffer in silence! Just push off and leave me alone!" I screamed. I wiped a tear quickly from my eyes, and kept my head down.
I noticed out of the corner of my eye, as she walked past me, she gave me a dirty look and proceeded up the stairs with Harry.
I began writing again.
You hurt me once
It will be the final time
I will no longer allow this
I will longer be quiet
I hate this hole I have dug for myself
Leave me! Let me live!
I barely noticed Cory come back in.
My eyes closed in concentration.
I inwardly jump as I feel his weight drop on to the couch next to me. My eyes remaining on the parchment hrough my partially closed eyelids.
I fully open my eyes once again, my thoughts spilling like a tidal wave out of my imagination, down my arm, through my hand and into the quill.
I will no longer shut up
Feel bad about the way I am, the way I feel
Let me go!
Let me live!
He kicked me sharply out of my reverie.
I looked at him.
"Why do you write rubbish? You're too thick!" he said.
I tightened my grip on my quill to keep my temper in place. I knew if I let it go I would get hurt really badly.
I loved you
I needed you
Why did you do this?
I loved you
I needed you
Am I that bad to be with?
"It's my imagination," I whispered. But I knew I had done it.
A sharp slap stung my left cheek. I felt the blood rush to the place he slapped, surely a red handprint was forming.
I kept my head down.
"I haven't taught you well enough!"
You lied
You cheated
Gave me false hope
I hated myself
Hurt myself
Made myself feel guilty
I swallowed down the lump that had formed in my throat, along with it I swallowed down my temper.
"I'm sorry... I'll be better I promise!" I cried.
"Too right you will!"He said fiercely.
"Don't hurt me, please!" I whispered. "Please not tonight!"
"Why not?!" He screamed.
I loved you
I needed you
Why did you do this?
I loved you
I needed you
Am I that bad to be with?
The sound of giggling from the Tower made him freeze.
I took this time to run, clutching on to my parchment and quill. I ran to the Entrance Hall and shakily grasped at the giant door handles. I kept looking over my shoulder and pushed the great door open.
I ran out to my favourite shadowed place between the school wall and the lake.
My walls are built up high
I won’t let anyone in
I CAN’T let anyone else in
My life was empty without you
You watched me live
You heard me laugh
Though you never raised a hand to me
The cold treatment to dump me felt as though you had done countless times
I heard footsteps and voices near, I quickly grabbed my wand from my pocket and muttered a concealment charm on to myself.
I put my wand away just as the footsteps got to my place.
I guess my sickening red hair gave away my position.
"Well if it isn't the littlest Weasley, sitting in her own firt where she belongs!" Malfoy laughed. His cronies Crabbe and Goyle laughed dumbly.
I shrunk further back, hoping the wall would swallow me in.
"Sod off Malfoy!" I managed to whisper.
I let my head drop and carried on writing.
Now I know I don’t need you
Now I know I don’t love you
I can get on with life
I won’t drop my walls of protection
Even though my friends are there
THEY make me laugh
THEY make me live
He threw a pebble at me. It hit me on my head.
I hissed in pain, but still kept my head down.
I supposed he was trying to provoke my temper.
"Someone knocked the temper out of you, Weasley? Good!" He snarled and walked away.
His words stung me. Tears ran silently down my face. I couldn't stop a sob escape my lips and I curled up.
I loved you
I needed you
I hate you now
For the pain you caused
I loved you
I needed you
NOW I CAN LIVE!
I must've stayed there for a fair few hours, because when I eventually got up from the ground, the sky had gone from a paler blue near the horizon over the lake, to a deep violet near the utmost tip of the tallest tower of the school.
I picked up the parchment and quill and walked back into the school.
I nervously looked around for Cory and rushed in to the Common Room.
YOU don’t care
You won’t protect
I have my mum and dad
And FRIENDS there
Unlike you
Spineless, loveless, careless
"Ginny?" Hermione asked.
Startled I looked around.
"You alright?" she asked.
"Yeah..." I answered nervously.
"You sure?" she asked.
'No I'm not, I'm scared, I don't want to be in this life!' I thought.
"Yeah, I'm sure. Where's Cory?"
"He went looking for you. I could get him if you want," Hermione asked.
"NO! I-I mean no... I'll see him later," I said and carried on writing.
I loved you
I needed you
I hate you now
For my broken heart
I loved you
I needed you
NOW I CAN LIVE!
I heard her sigh in frustration.
I froze.
"How can I help you if you won't tell me what's bothering you!?" she asked.
I felt a cushion smack off my head.
I looked up and saw Ron.
"Why have you been avoiding Cory?" he asked.
"I haven't ..." I whispered.
"Where were you then?!" he shouted.
"Lost track of time by the lake..." I whispered.
I am no longer depressed
No longer hurting
I have friends and family
That I can confide in and talk to
Shame on me because I believed in you
Shame on you
Because you may have your family
But you don’t have your friends
You don’t have me
This is my life.
Cory hurt me.
My family hurt me.
I ignored all the warning signs from my friends.

StepsMadClare · 07-01-2007, 01:06 PM

too bad it's a one-shot *stabs cory* very emotional brilliantly written xxxx

griffin_girl · 07-10-2007, 10:50 PM

OMGosh! poor Ginny!

Cory you incompetent nitwit! Stop being mean to her...

so does this mean you ship H/Hr?...

yeah, I ship R/Hr and H/G but I would so love D/G action....

Little Trooper · 07-11-2007, 10:23 PM

That was great. I know how she feels sometimes. Poor Ginny. Espcallly the whole fat thing. Long story. Loved it. To bad its a one shot.

hpfan4eva · 08-05-2007, 07:55 AM

gah that was so good! guurr its a one shot thing! aww it was so good!

Sharguar · 08-13-2007, 05:23 PM

It was written very emotionally, I think you've got a little of yourself in there, and I think that is what you were going for. If it is, congratulations you wrote that beautifully. I personally didn't like it because I really don't like that much emotion inside a story, but I definitely think that, since it seems you were going for that, you wrote it amazingly.

Greatly done...

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