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lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 03:31 AM

Wipe off the dust and you will find,
an ancient book of a mysterious kind.
A place to record the Graveyard's best,
want to look? Be our guest!

Have you written something you want to share with Graveyard FC members for all of eternity? Did the Graveyard just hold a contest and now all the entries need an everlasting home? Well, you've found just the place!

In the Everlasting Archive, the Graveyard stores some of its finest works! All entries in any contest will be on display here, as well as any work you'd like to submit for all to see! If you'd like to have something you've created displayed here, please send a request via PM to either Slytherin Fox or Bombalurina and they will post your submission accordingly! Enjoy!

lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 03:35 AM

Here is a poem written by A Bit Of Bee And Laurie on 02/27/07.

Quote:

Darkness
The moment when one is fully alive
When the silken waves of deep black sky
Lick the soul clean of its sins
A judgement not of purity or hardship
But dignity and willingness to prevail
The words whispered in the midnight air
Chase down the spaces between the notes
Lapping up their evening meal of
Fire and Brimstone
Hell hath no fury like a
Death Eater Scorned

lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 03:38 AM

A Ode to the Vampire submitted by Vladislaus on 03/01/07.

Quote:

The Gaior: A long lost epic poem origionally by Lord Byron in 1813.

"But first on earth, as Vampyre sent,
Thy corpse shall from its tomb be rent;
Then ghastly haunt thy native place,
And Suck the blood of all thy race;
There from thy daughter, sister, wife,
At midnight drain the stream of life;
Yet loathe the banquet, which perforce
Must feed thy livid living corpse,
Thy victims, ere they yet expire,
Shall know the demon for their sire;
As cursing thee, thou cursing them,
Thy flowers are withered on the stem.
But one that for thy crime must fall,
The youngest, best beloved of all,
Shall bless thee with a father's name--
That word shall wrap thy heart in flame!
Yet thou must end thy task and mark
Her cheek's last tinge--her eye's last spark
And the last glassy glance must view
Which freezes o'er its lifeless blue;
Then with unhallowed hand shall tear
The tresses of her yellow hair,
Of which, in life a lock when shorn
Affection's fondest pledge was worn-
But now is borne away by thee
Memorial to thine agony!
Yet with thine own best blood thall drip
Thy gnashing tooth, and haggard lip;
Then stalking to thy sullen grave
Go-and with Ghouls and Afrits rave,
Till these on horror shrink away
From spectre more accursed than they. "

lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 03:42 AM

The Graveyard hosted a ficlet contest in March 2007. Here are two of its entries:

Quote:

"With a swish of his wand, Severus lifts the curse he had placed on Bellatrix. Her actions had amused him greatly. Who would have thought the once mighty Bella would sink so low as to play the Easter Bunny at the villages fete. What was more delicious was the fact that she was forbidden from wearing anything other than Bunny ears to disguise her appearance. "SEVERUS!!!! I am going to kill you!" He hears her cry as she remains tied to the fence, locked in place with a great handful of enchanted children. "We'll see what mood you are in after you have removed the candyfloss from your hair, melted chocolate and sticky lollipop marks from your clothes" he thinks to himself. Ah. Revenge was so sweet. Now all he had to do was get to Lucius Malfoy, right after he purchased the bottle of pink hair dye, that is." -- written by A Bit Of Bee And Laurie.

Quote:

"I'm a...hate...maniac, that's for...you."

"You're ruining the song, Bella. Stop fighting and sing." Severus held the Imperius Curse over Bellatrix as she continued.

"And I'm...going to...dancing like I've...pay you vile...never danced before."

"I knew you'd like this muggle song," Severus smirked.

"Just a...wearing...steel-town girl...leg warmers..."

"And don't forget the leotard and Soul Glo, yes. This is for doubting me, Bella. Maybe now you'll learn."

"Stuck...die...in bewteen..."

"Don't mess up your big finale now."

Bella does a Jennifer Biels arch in a chair and her arm twitches as it reaches for a rope.

"Do it!"

She pulls the string and a bucket rigged overhead dumps water on to her face. Severus smirks, still holding the Imperius Curse over her.

"I...hate you...so bad...right now..."

"Now you know how I feel about you. Go clean yourself up."

lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 03:46 AM

In April 2007, the Graveyard hosted a contest with the following prompt:

Quote:

You are a Deatheater, and using only one Deatheater, you must plan an attack on a group of 4 Order members. You may use only 5 curses, but it doesn’t matter how many times you repeat a curse.

All Order members must be killed, and the plan must have 10 steps. Most creative murders and the best plan to carry out is what I’m looking for! Good luck!

Here are three of the entries:

Quote:

1. Using an invisibility cloak, you sneak into the big DA meeting where the members are plotting to overthrow Lord Voldemort (again!)
2. You whisper the imperius curse to Luna Lovegood so that she comes out into the hallway.
3. Once she is in the hall, alone, you avada kedavra her!
4. After a few minutes, Tonks becomes suspicious and goes looking for Luna.
5. You avada kedavra Tonks as soon as she comes out into the hall.
6. The meeting breaks up, you follow Lupin home and wait for him to change into a werewolf (you know it's that time of month!)
7. You jump in front of Lupin and avada kedarva him. The wolf falls dead!
8. You then trail Mad Eye Moody to his home.
9. You quietly sneak inside his house (very quietly, knowing how paranoid that old man is!)
10. Since you made no sound at all, you can easily avada kedavra him (so much for constant diligence!)

Quote:

"This is it?"

"Number twelve, Grimmauld."

"And they're the only four in there?"

"The rest are on a call in Elephant and Castle. I set off some exploding toilets there that'll fight back if you try to lift the jinx."

"We won't be able to apparate in--"

"And I doubt we'll be able to get through the front door."

"So stick to the plan, Sissa. Back window."

"You're going to crawl through the back window?"

"No. You're going to let me in the front door."

"Ever the gentleman, Lucius."

"Now's not the time for manners."

"So what are you going to do, wait here?"

Lucius pulls an invisibility cloak from his robes and waves it in Sissa's face.

"You're a genius."

Sissa sneaks to the back of Number Twelve, Grimmauld and shimmies open one of the windows on the basement level, sliding herself in through it's miniscule frame. She gropes around the cellar before coming upon some dimly lit steps that lead into a kitchen. Still, no one is around. She tiptoes through the empty kitchen and dining room and into the entryway to let Lucius in.

"It was unlocked, you know," Sissa says as she opens the door.

Lucius simply shurgs before removing the invisibility cloak completely and stowing it back in his robes. Before pulling his hand out, he rummages around his pockets and pulls out a roll of duct tape and looks at Sissa. "Are you sure this will work?"

"It's the muggles' universal solvent. Just do it."

Lucius rolls his eyes as he walks over to the portrait of Sirius's mother and duct tapes the curtain to the canvas, making remarkably little noise and managing to keep her curtain pulled. Tiny footsteps could be heard as Kreacher walks into the entryway looking rather smug.

"Is everything in place then, Kreature?" Sissa asks, looking down at the house elf.

"It is. The blood trading scum are in their rooms. They are all waiting to die. My mistress will be pleased."

"Good. Leave us then, Kreacher." Lucius turns to Sissa. "just what has he done?"

"Lupin and Black are tending to the giant bird in one room, Mundungus Fletcher is sorting through his stolen goods in another and Nymphadora Tonks is drawing a bath. All od the rooms have been soundproofed. They won't be able to hear each other die. Tonks is first. I'd really like to catch her with her clothes on, if it's all the same."

Lucius nods and follows Sissa up the stairs to the first door. She clicks the door open and peeks though the crack she's made. Thankfully, Tonks is standing at the sink, fully clothes, washing her face.

"Wait here," Sissa whispers to Lucius before walking into the bathroom.

She clicks the door shut behind her as Tonks rubs soap on her face.

"At least you'll be clean when you die."

Tonks looks up, eyes squinting through the suds. "What? Who's there?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter. Petrificus totalus!"

Tonks went rigid, her eyes wide, soap sliding into them. She began tipping towards the tub, hitting the side and toppling over. She went into the bathwater head first, her feet sticking straight out of the tub. Sissa walks out of the room leaving Tonks to drown in the bathtub.

"One down," she says as she walks out the door, shutting it behind her. "You get the next one."

Lucius nods solemnly and walks to the next door, not even bothering to check inside first. Sissa leans against the wall just outside, waiting for Lucius to emerge. Minutes later, the door struggles to open as Lucius kicks a pile of cauldrons collected at the bottom. He maneuvers his way among them before stepping out and closing the door behind him.

Sissa looks at him, confusion on her face. "What happened?"

"I tried to get Fletcher's wand using Accio. Well, I used the spell but he had something explosive in one of the cauldrons. It went off, as did my aim and, well, instead of his wand, I got the wallfull of cauldrons that were behind him."

"But what about Dung?"

"Oh, he's very much dead. No one could get hit with that much metal and survive. So I had to alter the plan a bit. It still works."

"So how did you come out alive?"

"I ducked."

"Clever. One more room, two more Order members. This one should be fun."

Sissa and Lucius walk to the last door on their list, barging into the room that contained Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and a rather sedate Buckbeak.

"Aww. Looks like poor Black's birdie is sick. Kreacher isn't the best of cooks. Next time, you'd be well advised to not take food from him," Sissa laughed. "Acutally, there won't be a next time for you. Expelliarmus!"

"Expelliarmus!"

Sissa and Lucius shout the spell simultaneously, disarming Lupin and Black. She looks over to Buckbeak and smirks. "Poisons act fast, don't they?"

"What did Kreacher give him?" Sirius snarled as Sissa points her wand in his face.

She shrugs. "Doesn't really matter, does it? Petrificus totalus!"

Sirius goes stiff and falls over.

"Tarantallegra!" Lucius shouts at Lupin adn his legs start to dance manically. "Grab him!"

"Me?! He's bigger than I am. You grab him!"

Lucius grabs onto Remus as his legs flail and brings him over to Sirius, holding him over his rigid form. Lupin's legs pound and dance over Sirius's body, pummeling and stomping him to death.

Sissa shakes her head in mock disgust. "You just killed your best friend. Bad wolfie. Finite."

The spell lifts from Lupin's legs and Lucius Lets go, walking back over to Sissa. "You don't get away with this."

"Oh I think we will, Lupine. Avis!" Lusius shouts and hawks appear, aiming their beaks at Lupin.

As he is being pecked to death, sissa turns to Lucius and asks, "I thought those are supposed to be small, twittering birds."

Lucius shrugs. "Are you complaining?"

Sissa shakes her head as Lupin's dead, pecked body falls lifeless to the floor. They both exit the room and proceed out of the house. Before they disapparate, Sissa walks back up to the house and sticks a note to the door.

Hope you had fun in Elephant and Castle and those toilets didn't give you too much trouble.

PS--Four of the Order are dead. Ta!

Quote:

Bella with your skill of the craft
I think that Peter may be daft
So instead I choose you to do my deed
There are four opposites but pay no heed

Step one you must gather up wormwood
Ignite the sprigs (as you should)
Your inscendio charm to lead the way
Step one's magic has been led astray

Step two you shall meet your first opponent
Face him well, your looks to flaunt
His charm is weaker than the power of yours
Avada Kedavra to ease your cause

Step three you must travel through the black
The inky sky aids your attack
The stars will shine to lead your way
Through stormy waters to your affray

Step four she waits but do not fear
Imperio her into submission and draw her near
She shall be useful later on
For poison proves helpful to non

Step five draw hold your wand away
The water is rising, you don't want to stay
You see another, No words he can tell
A rising cheer for the boy in the well

Step six they say it is the worst
But you know better than to believe the curse
Drop the poison to her lips
Take the key as she drops past your hips.

Step seven your task draws to an end
Your words they do offend
Banish the blockade to the bottom of his well
His fateful words never to tell

Step eight the crucial step to fate
Make your move but not too late
Confundus, a charm that serves you well
His confusion draws him down to hell

Step nine claim your prize of stone
Of life's elixer it brightly shone
Accio, my precious one
Come back to me, your work be done

Step ten bid leave
You served me well
Goodbye my servant
Of this, never tell

lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 03:49 AM

A Bit Of Bee And Laurie created this Dark tribute to torture and to the Killing Curse on 04/09/2007.

Quote:

It's not what is heard
But what is intended to be conveyed
Snake hisses sounding wordlessly through the darkness
Spell nothing but danger ahead for the one lone traveller
The one with a task no mere mortal could compare
To that of a neutral deed
The cancer that turned you black
Shall not harm you as much as those two words
Avada
Teasing you, I see
Avada
They take pleasure in the taunts that break your soul
Avada
Any moment now
Avada
Avada
KEDAVRA!

lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 03:51 AM

This literary work was submitted by crazy4snape on 06/05/2007.

Quote:

Its been a long time
Since I saw the light
Now im in the dark
Vision clouded by pride
My heart was once on my sleeve
now its where no one can see
I've tainted my soul
And set my thoughts free
Now I'm in a world
Of power and might
And as a wise man once said
let your dark side give in
to the power of the
music of the night

lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 03:55 AM

In July of 2007, Snitchseeker held an event called 'July Jubilation.' During this event, the Graveyard wrote its own official FanFiction! If you'd like to read an amazing story written with the combined efforts of your peers, then look no further and click here!

lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 04:05 AM

The Graveyard held a Valentine-writing contest in February 2008 with the following instructions:

Quote:

Simply write a valentine message that would be either from a Death Eater to another Death Eater, from a Death Eater to a non-Death Eater, or from a non-Death Eater to a Death Eater (the choice is yours!) Make sure that your message is at least two sentences long and no more than 15 sentences long. Your message does not have to rhyme (although it certainly can!)

Several officers and sponsors of this Fan Club paved the way with examples of their own to get things started! Co-President A Bit Of Bee And Laurie submitted this Valentine from the Dark Lord to Miss Bellatrix Lestrange:

Quote:

To Bella, Love Voldemort

Another sleepless night for me
Was spent in warm seclusion
Watching you as you lay sleeping
Twisted in your confusion
The Azkaban guards, they did not see
Me slip through into madness
It was all I could do to fall at their feet
I reached you with profound gladness
Although they leave the worst of worst
You provide the best
They sap all that they can acquire
And leave us with the rest
They left us with time and thoughts
Of pain I cannot quarrel
But of my deeds I do not repent
For you are my only moral
You may be promised to another
A truth I cannot refute
But it does not hinder my heart to beat
For your light in great repute
What once was left has been destroyed
I am but a shell of a man
But to this, my Bella, I can completely vow
I’ll love you the best that I can

Co-President Slytherin Fox submitted two Death Eater-style Valentines:

Quote:

Fenrir, Fenrir, he's so scary
He's the one that's ultra hairy
When you're lying in your bed
Try not to let Fenrir near your head

Quote:

Random card from any DE to the Dark Lord -

You look like a snake, I wonder why
You carry yourself with head held high
Though people see you then turn and run
I think I'll stick around and watch the fun.

And finally, three Dark Valentines written by myself (lemondrop13):

Quote:

Title: My Dearest Bella
Author: Rodolphus Lestrange

My Dearest Bella - your cruelty shines,
your ability to curse is simple divine.
Your earlobes smell like putrid meat,
such smells make my heart skip a beat.

You adore the Dark Lord more than me,
yet I love your extremist loyalty.
Your frizzy hair is a tangled mess,
and of all Death Eaters I love you best.

Quote:

To Voldemort, From Wormtail:
For you, my Lord, on Valentine's Day,
I'd gladly give my other hand away.

Quote:

To Wormtail, From Voldemort:
You're weak and pathetic and have no spine,
But you proved yourself useful, my Valentine.

lemondrop13 · 02-18-2008, 04:14 AM

The February 2008 Valentine contest featured three entries from MAthI

:

Quote:

to mah dear snape!
from mathi!

my dearest prince-your hair is black and greasy,
yourare also sooo queasy!
you make awwesome potions,
i wish i could provide you with some lotion.
you hate harry to the core,
but i find something in you to adore!
oo you are really cool and divine,
obviously because you are my valentine!!

Quote:

to mah dearest snape
from mathi

My dear Prince,your hair is soo oily and greasy,
sometimes i find you very queasy,
making you angry is really easy,
thinking about you makes me dizzy!
you are the best potions maker i've ever seen,
you are the best person there's ever been,
you are only a bit mean,
i wish you were a king and i your queen!,
you are really sweet and divine,
shall we go out today to dine?
everything will soon be fine,
because you are my one and only valentine!!!

Quote:

to Draco
from mathi
My dearest Draco,i love your blonde hair,
the dark lord was really unfair.
your curses are so powerful,
if you leave me it would be dreadful.
you obey the dark lords wishes,
i really hope you were as good in catching fishes,
i wish you'd be mine,
cause your hatred for harry is really divine,
you'll really get him the next time
because you are my valentine!!!

And ~*just_me(lily_evans)*~ contributed to the contest with this submission:

Quote:

Title: An Ode to the Dark Lord
Author: Bellatrix Lestrange

Cunning as a snake he is, yet stronger.
Make him wait; he will make you wait longer.
For he is powerful and so deadly
Oh, Dark Lord, I am forever ready.
Ready to follow your ev’ry order,
Your presence makes each day with you shorter.
Your most obed’ent follower I would
Strive to be if you believe that I could.
On this Valentine’s Day you know I send
These wishes that follow the latest trend.
A wish, from me, to win my lord’s great trust.
A wish, to you, to be what something must.
See my devotion to the greatest cause.
Valentine’s Day will pass without a pause.

Camirayaxley offered two Valentines to the contest, the first one being a Valentine haiku from Bellatrix to the Dark Lord:

Quote:

Red Eyes Glow With Evil
A Black Heart That Contrasts Quite Nicely
If Only You Could Love

The second was a Valentine written by Pansy Parkinson to Mr. Draco Malfoy

Quote:

A sneer that could overshadow the world
Aesthetics that rival a work of art
I melt everytime that acerbic wit is unfurled
Your arrogance captures my heart

You could never be less than beautiful
Even when small and furry you were forced to be
And though you cry in bathroom cubicles
You're the only one for me

With the skill to almost carry out a plan
And the brains to think one up
I think I'm definitely your biggest fan
Even though you're not quite evil enough

I beg you now, for if not, I will surely pine
Do me this service, Draco Malfoy, be my valentine

And what Valentine contest would be complete without two entries by PhoenixRising:

Quote:

Title: My Brave Lioness
Author: Severus Snape

My dearest Minnie - you bring such pride with you
The way you carry yourself with dignity and beauty
I'll show you how adventurous I can be,
and the loyalty that I am
When you give your hand to me.

Quote:

Title: Endearing sins
To Voldemort, From Jess

My sweetest sin in all eternity,
comes from my undying love for you.
It is that cold, high pitched noise you make
when you're about to kill,
I get all giddy inside and cannot help but grin.
That endearing curse you use on those muggles,
makes me want to hug you.
So if you happen to catch my glance,
just note that I love you, the greatest Dark Wizard, so.

**Slytherin Fox** · 04-03-2008, 04:50 PM

The Imperio:Games! thread featured a Dare game in which numerous members were dared to write some pretty funny stuff! Here is a sampling of their work!

Quote:

A four line poem about Fenrir: by Slytherin Fox

Fenrir, Fenrir, oh great hairy one
Biting poor kids is your way of fun
I’d like to take you out on the town
And see you in your fancy gown.

Quote:

Japanese Wizard was dared to write a rhyme about Bellatrix's hair and this is what was written:

Bella's hair is as big as a fair! When she stares, not with her eyes, when she stares, its her hairs! Her lair is full of hair but it only belongs to Bellatrix! She is the heir to many people with hair! She only cares for her hairs! Bears are scared of her hairs! She's got pears stuck in her hairs!

Quote:

Lemondrop13's Ode to Wormtail

My dearest Wormtail, I adore thee more than you'll ever know. You should have kept your finger and chopped off a toe. Your animagus ability takes my breath away, and your fear of all things keeps mine at bay. Despite all your faults, I love you still. You chopped off a hand to do Voldemort's will. Though you lack courage, strength, and no gall, you're still my favorite Death Eater of all!

Quote:

Lemondrop13's Love Letter to Voldemort from Bellatrix:

My dearest Dark Lord,

From the moment you first spoke, "Let's exterminate the Muggles and Muggleborns" I knew it was love. Everyday I pine for you, hoping you'd be as obsessed with me as you are with the cause. Rodolphus has simply too much hair and too big a nose for me, whereas you - oh beautiful you! You're lack of hair and nose is just what I need. Please say you love my enormous hair and flair for the dramatic? I think I might Avada Kedavra myself if you don't!

With the deepest and darkest of love,
yous forever faithful,
Bellatrix Lestrange

Quote:

Japanese Wizard's Acronym for Lucius Malfoy

L : lustful
U : urge
C : Canny
I : Ignorant
U : Unemployed
S : Stupid

M : malicious
A : Angry
L : loser
F : Fighter
O : Obnoxious
Y : Yearn

Quote:

caseym's Peter Pettigrew Haiku

Peter Pettigrew,
Your silver hand glistens so,
It shines with your might!

Quote:

caseym's Poem: Nott

My dearest Nott, you are
The brightest shining star,
Of Death Eaters near and far.
You've been there since the start
and you've since captured my heart,

You fought at the Dept. of Mysteries
And now authors write you into their histories
You were the most loyal DE in the series!
Now I must close this silly little rhyme.
Why, You may ask? Because it's time!

Quote:

RiddleMeThis's Song about DEs and the War

There’s a woman crying out tonight
Her world has changed
She asks Severus why
Her only Harry has died
And now her husband cries
She can’t sleep at night

Downtown another day for all the deaths and dies
Another war to fight
There’s no regard for life
How do they sleep at night
How can we make things right
Just wanna make this right

Quote:

RiddleMeThis's Love Poem to Severus

Severus,

The sun rises above the hillcrest,
As does the joy of my heart;
Rays of warmth and love,
From you I will never depart.

Fresh dew upon the grass,
Young birds chirp in their nests;
I watch you gently sleep,
My love to you I silently profess.

I enjoy the stillness and calm,
Watching as you smile and dream;
You bring me to stillness and peace,
Like that of a slow flowing stream.

My heart and soul flow with love,
And I smile as I quietly reflect;
I’ve been handed a knight.

A vow to myself I make,
As you quietly sleep away;
To love and always cherish my Knight.,
Until my last breath... until my last day.

Quote:

Slytherin Fox's Acronym for Bellatrix Lestrange:

B - Bewitching
E - Evil to the core
L - Lord Voldemort's most faithful servant
L - Lunatic Lady
A - Always ready to fight
T - Terrifying
R - Rudolphus was her husband
I - Insane
X - Xtra devoted to the cause

L - Led the fight for Voldemort
E - Excellent fighter
S - Slytherin to the end
T - Terrorized the Longbottoms
R - Right by Voldy's side
A - Always ready to fight
N - Nasty to tangle with
G - Greedy, I'm sure!
E - Energetic

Quote:

Lemondrop13's Bellatrix Limerick

To write about Bellatrix is tough,
For her skin is so terribly rough,
Her hair is so bushy,
Her heart far from mushy,
And her kindness not nearly enough!

lemondrop13 · 05-02-2008, 01:11 PM

To celebrate April Fool's Day, the Graveyard hosted a drabble contest throughout the month of April 2008 with the following instructions:

Quote:

Write up a drabble about a Death Eater playing a prank on another Death Eater for a chance to win an awesome matching avatar and siggie and also an exclusive tag!! A drabble is a short story describing an event or a scene in no more or less than 100 words. Make sure your story is exactly 100 words - that's part of the fun! Your prank-story should have a brief title (these do not count in the 100 words).

This contest was quite successful - we had 30 entries! Wanna read em? Well, go ahead!

The following drabble was the winning drabble and was submitted by Senorita Maxie:

Quote:

Of Passions Pink

"Lucius?"

"Yes?"

"Your wife sends another owl.”

"I see.”

But, as Severus left, Lucius squealed. Such excitement! Unwrapping the parcel, he fished out -

– Pink boxer-shorts.

An immediate response was written.

"OMGOMGOMG!!! Such a suhweet present, Cissy!!!!! You ALWAYS used to refuse me pink boxer-shorts!!!!!!!

Luciii!!!!!!"

_________________

Midnight:

"I congratulate you on proving it, Severus," Voldemort said gravely.

Bellatrix giggled. "Yes! Who would’ve believed Lucius secretly doted on pink boxer-shorts?"

Severus smirked. "I'm sure Narcissa will be horrified at his note of thanks. Poor Lucius. To think I will never get thanked for fulfilling his most-burning desire."

Voldemort smiled. "Pity."

Proffesor Snape contributed this drabble to the contest:

Quote:

A New Do For Severus

"Gah!" Snape gasped, as he frantically clawed at his greasy hair, which was a bright bubblegum pink! The slightly cracked, dusty mirror reflected his horrified look, which turned to one of hatred. He immidiately dressed in his usual black robes, and grabbed his wand, apparating quickly to the Malfoy Manor. The moment he appeared, his colleagues began laughing in hysterics. He fired a shot at the closest one, Lucius, who stopped laughing and pointed somewhere behind him. All the laughing ceased, and the rest of the Deatheaters mirrored Lucius. Severus turned, just in time to see Bella running and giggling.

caseym submitted a total of 7 drabbles to this contest! Here are those entertaining entries:

Quote:

Makeover: Snape's Home Edition

Lucius apparated to Snape’s house. He knocked on the door. No answer. He whipped his wand from the end of the cane and muttered, “Alohamora.” The lock clicked open. Looking around he mumbled, “This is so drab, Snape needs to lighten up.” With a wave of his wand everything in Snape’s house was converted to frilly, pink and white nonsense. Lucius giggled and left, locking the door behind him. Snape arrived home a little later to find his home was light and airy…cheerful even. It was disgusting. He knew Malfoy was behind it. “I’ll get you for this!” He screamed.

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Why Bella is so Untidy

Bellatrix tidied her hair for when she would see the Dark Lord. It was in perfect order for once, for the Dark Lord. Suddenly, she felt a prickling sensation along her scalp and raised a hand to find that her perfect hair was standing on end and completely tangled. Lucius appeared in the doorway, wand held towards her. “I am the only Death Eater that’s allowed to have great hair,” he drawled as he entered. Bella was about to reply when the Dark Lord walked in. “Ah, Bella, still untidy I see.” Voldemort stated with disdain. Bella sighed, she'd tried.

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The Case of the Elephant Fountain

Fenrir was tired of having everyone pick on him for being himself. He decided to steal Lucius’s cane and soon discovered the wand within. He laughed gleefully and soon began casting random spells at Malfoy manor. Lucius came home and caught him, “How dare you?! This place cost me millions of galleons to perfect!” As he pulled his immaculate hair, Voldemort showed up. “Lucius, this place is too hideous to hold our meetings in, I mean, seriously….Pink Elephants in the fountain? That is so last year.” Lucius pouted and pointed at Fenrir, “But HE did it! He stole my snaky!”

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Bella's Revenge

Lucius stalked through the manor house, his lovely long blue hair streaming out behind him. Narcissa gasped when she saw his hair, “What happened to you?!” He pointed to his head, “Oh, this? Nothing much…Bellatrix decided I couldn’t be more beautiful than her.” He sat on the sofa to pout. Bella entered the room, grinning at his shiny blue hair, “Oh, isn’t it lovely? That color suits you, Lucius!” She plopped herself down in a chair, “It isn’t permanent you know, it was only a little muggle food coloring…it’ll wash out in a while.” Oh how Lucius loathed her then.

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The Revenge of Rodolphus

Rodolphus had had enough of Bellatrix’s obsession with Voldemort. He quilled a letter to Voldemort, using Bella’s name, stating that she reconsidered and decided that her loyalty needed to remain with her husband, not a bald, once-dead guy. He sent it by owl, then giggled and went to bed. The next morning found a very irate Voldemort in their living room. Bella was crying and begging for his forgiveness, and that she knew nothing of this letter, Rodolphus giggled again and watched the scene. Voldemort raised his wand at Bella, so Rodolphus gave in and confessed, “It was a joke!”

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Frustrated Fenrir

Close to the time of the full moon, Fenrir was getting set up to position himself close to a muggle town in Scotland for when he changed. He moved around his small house getting everything prepared for his return. Suddenly, the door opened and Snape entered. Fenrir blinked at this sudden intrusion and growled his displeasure at the interruption. Snape shrugged, “I was nearby and wanted to give you a little present.” He conjured a box that was as big as Fenrir. Fenrir opened it and was sucked inside, unable to escape and attack the muggles, thus ruining his fun.

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Snape's Makeover

Snape slept soundly in his home in Spinner’s End. Lucius and Narcissa snuck up to the house and made it through Snape’s barriers. They crept into his bedroom and conjured a bowl. Narcissa started working on Snape’s hair as he slept peacefully. He even smiled a little and said something that sounded like, “Lily.” Narcissa quickly finished and turned to her husband who used his wand to gently dry Snape’s hair. They finished their task and left, resurrecting the barriers as they passed. In the morning, Snape awoke to find cutesy poodle curls permed into his once greasy straight locks.

And with a whopping total 21 drabbles submitted, Slytherin Fox amazed us all with the following submissions:

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A Hairy Situation

Snape was sick and tired of all the comments from the other Death Eaters about how bad his hair looked, especially Bellatrix and Lucius.

Being the great potions master, he was able to add a secret ingredient to each of their shampoos.

Lucius was outraged when he, Narcissa and Draco all ended up with coal black hair.

Bellatrix got the shock of her life when she washed her full, curly hair and it came out as straight and greasy as Snape's!

When he saw them, Snape just stared in his usual way and pretended that he didn't know a thing.

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Embarassment at the Ministry

Bellatrix was unhappy with Walden Macnair, he had really been getting on her nerves lately but she was unable to think up a good way to get him back.

Finally, the perfect idea came to her. She decided the time was right to put her plan into action.

Walden was in disguise at the Ministry of Magic, hunting for very important information, when he looked down at himself and realized he was clad in a pretty pink tutu and matching satin ballet slippers!

Everyone who saw him laughed loudly causing him great embarrassment, but no one laughter louder than Bellatrix.

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A Trip to Disneyland

The Dark Lord decided he wanted to have a little fun with the Death Eaters, so he told them he was happy to let them know he was giving them all a vacation.

All of the Death Eaters were excited to be getting a break, but weren't sure what to think when they reached their destination of Disneyland. As they walked through the park, the sound of "It's a Small World" seemed to follow them.

They all continued to walk until they reached Fantasyland and were told they must ride every attraction there. The Dark Lord had commanded.

Quote:

Prompted by Jealousy

Rodolphus hadn't received much attention from his wife lately and he was jealous. He decided to owl this note for her:

Quote:

"If you want to be the one to capture Harry Potter, he's going to be in Knockturn Alley at midnight tonight.
Signed, A friend."

Bellatrix was intrigued, and appeared in Knockturn Alley that night. Sure enough, there was Harry Potter! "All too easy," she thought.

Rodolphus, who had taken polyjuice potion to look like Harry, turned around and began tickling Bellatrix. "Coochie coo, who loves you?", he said in a giggling voice as he tickled her mercilessly. Bellatrix collapsed!

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Sweet Little Puppy

Fenrir was constantly bragging to the Death Eaters about how he was the greatest werewolf who ever lived, how he had bitten Lupin, blah, blah, blah.

All the Death Eaters were sick of hearing Fenrir's stories. They wanted to teach him a lesson.

One day they slipped Fenrir some polyjuice potion, which turned him into a cute little puppy. This was long lasting polyjuice potion, too, designed to last at least a month!

Fenrir was embarrassed by all the attention he received as "the widdle puppy dog." Once he transformed back, he was careful to keep his big mouth shut!

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A Stinky Situation

Snape was angry at Bellatrix again. They had argued and he told her, "Your attitude stinks." It seemed his point never got through. He decided to teach Bellatrix a lesson.

Snape conjured a skunk and set it to follow Bellatrix around everywhere she went. It became a bit embarrassing because Bellatrix had no control of when the skunk might suddenly release its stink, often on herself! She was even less popular with the other Death Eaters than usual since her "little friend" appeared.

Bellatrix was never repentant, deciding she would just have to get Snape back with a bigger prank!

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Pretty in Pink

Lucius decided to play a prank on Walden Macnair, he seemed a good target for what he had in mind.

Macnair went to sleep in his normal austere bedroom but when he awoke, all had changed. There were frilly pink curtains on his windows, the bedspread was pink and ruffled and there were stuffed animals everywhere, cute ones! Worst of all, Macnair fond himself wearing a pink nightgown, much like a little girl would wear.

Lucius and Narcissa burst through the door. "Clean your room like a good little girl," they told Macnair. Macnair did not get dessert!

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Not a Beautiful Baby

The Death Eaters were all tired of Fenrir, who wouldn't stop whining and complaining. In fact, he was making a big baby of himself. One day, they decided what to do.

Bellatrix was sent to carry out the mission. She put a spell on Fenrir, the next thing you know he was in a crib, dressed as a baby with a teething ring in his mouth and a rattle in his hand. The Death Eaters all laughed to see Fenrir crying to get out of the crib. "You haven't changed a bit," they told him. But what an ugly baby!

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Her Replacement

Bellatrix knew Rodolphus was lonely, that she didn't spend enough time with him, so she decided to "fix" things. She told her husband that she was going to let him spend time with a female in her absence, someone he could talk to, then set him up with the Fat Lady!

Rodolphus knew Bellatrix meant wel and he really tried to socialize with the obese woman, but soon the other Death Eaters saw him talking with the Fat Lady and began laughing at him.

"Bellatrix has a rival for your attention," they taunted him, knowing it was all a setup.

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Snape's Makeover

Snape was getting on all the Death Eater's nerves. He always had a droll attitude and his appearance was really lacklustre. So he was sent for a makeover!

Snape was dumbfounded as he found himself receiving a special shampoo, highlights and set and didnt know what to think as makeup was applied to his pallid skin. His transformation, at least physical, was amazing, though. He looked like a whole new Snape. Now the only problem was his attitude. The Death Eaters were able to work out a solution for that, too.

I guess he'll be going to charm school next!

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Academic Honors

Crabbe and Goyle were noted to be the dumbest Death Eaters ever, so it was easy to play a prank on them. Rookwood faked a letter rom a very prestigious wizarding university, saying they were both going to be awarded for their academic excellence.

Crabbe and Goyle were both excited, believing the letter was true. They prepared to travel to the university to receive their awards.

When they reached the university they were greeted with derision and laughter and then the final insult, two dunce caps ewre loewred onto their heads.

Every Death Eater had a good laugh that day.

Quote:

Karaoke Kapers

It was a well known fact amongst all the Death Eaters that Lucius hated everything to do with muggles, more than most. Voldemort decided to play a nasty trick on him one day and told him, "I have a very special assignment for you, Lucius, one only you can take care of. But you have to stay on the assignment until 1:00 this morning."

Lucius showed up at the address he was given and went inside. It was a dark, crowded muggle bar which was bad enough, but this one featured karaoke. Lucius stayed there the entire night, as ordered.

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Baby Naginis

Fenrir wanted to pull a trick on Voldemort so he told him that Nagini was pregnant, he could tell. Voldemort got very excited, imagining the future with all the little snakes he would soon have and all the fun things he could do with them. "Why, I can even give a baby snake to each of my loyal Death Eaters," he exclaimed.

Voldemort got lots and lots of toys for the baby snakes to play with, he even had a snake nursery ready, then he found out that Nagini was not expecting. Fenrir had pulled a fast one on him!

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Peter's Nightmare

Peter had been making Snape angry, so he plotted the ultimate revenge. One night Peter had transformed into his Wormtail form and Snape came up and put him in a cage and transported him to a muggle research center.

The next morning Peter woke up inside the cage, realizing he was in a bad place and worse, he was selected for the next experiment! He thought this would be the end until Snape came and rescued him and brought him back to Malfoy Manor. After that Peter was more careful around Snape than ever, he definitely kept his eyes open!

Quote:

Brady Bunch Revisited

One day Alecto and Amycus Carrow got a call from a movie studio, telling them they wanted them to audition for a movie.

Both siblings auditioned and were told they were going to be playing the roles of Greg and Marsha Brady in a new Brady Bunch movie, that they were perfect for the roles. Of course, the pair was anything but perfect and the other cast members were soon wondering where these two had come from.

Just as the movie was about to finish, it was revealed that the whole thing was just a huge prank performed by Macnair.

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A New Look For the Horcruxes

Voldemort took Snape's advice that his horcruxes should be redesigned because the ORder was catching on, but he never expected this! He now had a pink sock, a troll doll, a pack of Jolly Ranchers, an old tennis shoe, a soiled kleenex, a toy penguin and a bunch of grapes as his horcruxes.

"These aren't very menacing," he complained. "Trust me, no one will ever catch on," Snape assured him.

Of course, not only did the Death Eaters not cath on, they all thought Voldemort had lost his mind! That was the last time he would take advice from Snape.

Quote:

A New Dark Mark

Voldemort wanted to see just how far the Death Eaters would go for him, so he called them all together for a special announcement. "As of today the Dark Mark will be changing," he announced. "Effective immediately, you should all have a tattoo of this pink bunny." He held his left arm out, showing the Death Eaters his temporary tattoo of a very cute little bunny.

Of course, the Death Eaters were all anxious to do the Dark Lord's bidding, particularly Bellatrix. She had already gotten the bunny tattoo before Voldemort revealed to everyone that it was all a joke.

Quote:

Under the Big Top

Snape was working undercover one day when he suddenly looked down and saw his black robes had changed to the colorful outfit of a circus clown. He looked down at his feet and saw big red shoes. Upon feeling his nose he could tell that it was now big and round, and his usually straight, oily hair was now wild and frizzy.

Snape could hear lively circus music playing in the background and wasn't surprised at this point to see that he was under the big top. When he heard cackling laughter, he realized that Bellatrix had tricked him again.

Quote:

Marooned on a Desert Island

Lucius had failed on his mission to retrieve the prophecy and was afraid of what the Dark Lord would do to him.

Fearfully, he faced Voldemort and was told that he would be sent into exile for a while. Well, it could have been worse, he thought.

The next thing he knew, Lucius was marooned on a desert island with, of all people, Arthur Weasley as his only company. He had to listen to all Arthur's chatter about the muggles and their ingenuity, it was driving him out of his mind!

Suddenly he was back in front of Voldemort, hearing laughter.

Quote:

Pet Show

Bellatrix had heard that there was going to be a pet show coming with a prize for most talented rat, so she deicded to enter Wormtail into it without asking his permission.

Wormtail was shocked to find himself in front of a bunch of wizards and witches he didn't know staring at him, so he began to run aruond in circles and try to escape from the cage. The crowd clapped appreciatively.

Wormtail ended up winning the prize for the best rat. Bellatrix carried him back to Voldemort to gloat. "At least you're good for something," she told Wormtail happily.

Quote:

The Light Show

Antonin Dolohov thought he was really something with his purple jet of light and Yaxley wanted to teach him a lesson.

The next time Dolohov tried to shoot the purple light, he was surprised to see a stream of powder pink instead. Even worse, the Order member he had shot was now wearing a pink tutu and ballet slippers! "Don't you like my outfit?" he asked, pirouetting in front of Dolohov.

It must just be a temporary glitch Dolohov thought, shaking his wand and trying again. This time a cute little bunny hopped out and twitched his nose at him!

lemondrop13 · 08-26-2008, 05:15 PM

The May Igor Karkaroff Caption Contest included the following prompt:

Quote:

We have this great photo of Karkaroff here but it's just missing one teensy thing - a caption.

This is where you come in. Simply think up an appropriate caption of no more than two or three sentences per character, making sure that you include Karkaroff in your caption. (You can choose to caption Snape as well if you'd like to, though you are not required to do so.) You must caption Karkaroff in order for your entry to count! This is, after all, a contest in his honor! You will be able to enter up to 10 captions per member, so have fun and get to work. But remember, no profanity or lewd commentary, and as always all SS board rules apply!

Definitely a successful contest, we received 50 submissions! Here they are:

The following captions were submitted by Japanese Wizard:

Quote:

Karkaroff and Snape having a stare contest.

It's hard times for Karkaroff.... Getting no sleep... being afraid of the Dark Lord's return... "Hey, Severus! nothing like a fine ol' coffee eh?"

lemondrop13 submitted these entries:

Quote:

Karkaroff: Don't even think about touching my pink lemonade pitcher.
Snape: You always were a selfish prat, refusing to share the sugary lemon goodness.

Karkaroff: So, I noticed this morning that I'm missing a pair of pink polka dotted boxer shorts... Anything to say about that?
Snape: Who me? I have nooooo idea what you're talking about... *hums*

Snape: What is that retchidly awful, stomach turning odor?
Karkaroff: Sorry about that. I had a whole can of beans last night...
Snape: You absolutely disgust me.
Karkaroff: You don't even have the slightest clue of how disgusting I can get!

These entries were provided by Antarctica!:

Quote:

Karkaroff (mumbling): "So, what do you think, Severus? Good, isn't it?"
Snape (equally indistinct): "For the last time, Karkaroff, ventriloquy is not a grand magic power."

Karkaroff: "Hey, how come ve aren't moving?"

The cake (front) reportedly represented a stylised version of Igor Karkaroff's appearance that evening, although the decision to model the cake Karkaroffs' heads out of earwax Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans can only be described as "unfortunate".

Even before pouring wine on Snape's dinner, the evening did not go well for Igor Karkaroff.

This image, snapped by our undercover photographer, showed that in fact both Igor Karkaroff and Severus snape did nothing while behind them the Hogwarts Grounds were ablaze.

Karkaroff: "Happy birthday, Severus! I haff organised vine for you, and later a Veela will jump out of your cake."

Events would have unfolded differently if Igor Karkaroff had known Snape had tampered with his wine. As it is, he woke up hours later with a splitting headache and his beard missing.

Karkaroff: "You vant some more, Severus?"
Snape: "Pineapple-cherry fruit tea? I thought you were a tough guy from the North! Are you going to drop the accent next and tell me the beard is fake?"

The staring contest between Karkaroff and Snape was only resolved in favour of the Durmstrang headmaster when he dropped a carafe of wine.

Neither the wine nor Igor Karkaroff's piercing glare prompted Severus Snape to reveal who had pinned the "I Break For Mermaids" sign to the Durmstrang ship.

Enjoy reading these entries written by Slytherin Fox:

Quote:

All of these captions are said by Karkaroff to Snape -

1. I accept your dare. I will make you laugh, I will!

2. Oh, Severus, I never knew you cared!

3. You can't fool me. I know you love High School Musical just as much as I do.

4. I see you're off to another funeral, Severus. My condolences!

5. You're looking especially well today, Severus. Your skin has that special glow.

6. I know of a much more rocking party that this. Shall we make our escape?

7. Your secret is safe with me. No one will ever suspect how much you love Barny the Dinosaur.

8. You always look so lovely. Have you given any more thought to my offer of becoming an Avon dealer?

9. I've signed us both up for a match making service. Perhaps we'll meet the girl of our dreams.

10. You're quite smart to always wear black, Severus. No one ever notices those extra few pounds when you go on an ice cream binge.

beautifulmine wrote the following entry:

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Karkaroff:: Yes Snape i do think my goatee is better then Dumbledore's beard.

Sabrina_Snape submitted the following caption:

Quote:

"Severus, did I ever tell you how lovely your eyes shine like black diamonds? And how your hair is as black as coal? Whatever anyone else says, I love you for being a slimy haired greaseball."

"Lovely."

The following caption was provided by MAthI

:

Quote:

Karkoroff (thinking): Do you think it'll affect my reputation hanging around with him??
Snape (thinking): Do you think he'll have an afeect on my personaliy?

Snape: Stop staring...What will people think?
Karkoroff: sorry..I was just admiring you hair which is all black and shiny
Snape: admire it all you can,Tomorrow i'm getting a hair cut...
Karkoroff (thinking): My Plan worked!!I wont have that awful smell next time he sits beside me....

Enjoy reading the following captions written by caseym:

Quote:

Igor: “Would you like some more coffee Severus?”
Severus: “No. That is a vile drink, not fit for my consumption.”
Igor: “I promise you’ll like this one.”
Severus: “No, don’t make me hex you.”
Igor: “You would hex me…Over coffee?!”
Severus: “I would, even without the coffee.”

Karkaroff: "I've been thinking about the Dark Mark, Severus."
Snape: "You have? And what have you decided?"
Karkaroff: "I have decided to try to remove it."
Snape, raising eyebrows: "Really? And why is that?"
Karkaroff, shrugging nonchalantly: "I think the design is so 'last year'."

Igor: "More coffee to go with your black soul, Severus?"

DalekDeatheater entered the following caption:

Quote:

Igor to Severus- "Coffee Dear?"

The following caption was submitted by Leia:

Quote:

Karkaroff: I smell a rat.
Snape: I dont know what youre talking about.

PhoenixRising supplied us with a variety of captions:

Quote:

1. Karkaroff: Oh Severus, please don't go to sleep now. Where are your manners?

2. Karkaroff: Would you like a spot of tea, Sevvy?
Snape: Bug off.

3. Karkaroff 'accidentally' spills water on Severus' lap.

4. Karkaroff: Oh Sevvy, can't you at least pretend to look alert?

5. Karkaroff: White makes you look more innocent than that black does...

6. Karkaroff: Have you ever grown a beard, Sevvy?

7. Karkaroff: Maybe if you washed that greasy rag, you'd grow some facial hair!

8. Karkaroff: You were in love once, weren't you? I could see it in your eyes...

9. Karkaroff: for someone as young as YOU, Severus, you sure look old!

10. Karkaroff: Is it me or is it getting hot in here?
Snape: You ought to visit the dungeons sometimes...

The following captions were entered by SenoritaMaxie:

Quote:

Karkaroff: Sherbet, Severus?
Severus: No, Igor. I find it too... girly.

Karkaroff [all secretively]: Psssttt, Severus... I've heard they're selling balloons by the lake. Pink ones!!1!!1!! SQUEE!!11!!
Snape: I prefer black, Igor. So... morbid.

Karkaroff: The Dark Lord is on our trail, Severus! We must escape at once! Raise the alarm!
Snape [sarcastically]: And how do you expect me to do that? Sprout wings and run around my backyard, screaming "Fire!"?

Karkaroff: Um, Severus? Why are you wearing black, again?
Snape [in eerie, solemn tones]: Black, my friend, is the new pink.

Igor Karkaroff
Loving friend,
Loyal death eater,
Two lies above.

BanaBatGirl submitted the following caption:

Quote:

Karkaroff: Hey Sev, Sev, guess what I'm thinking right now. Just guess. Go on, do it!
Snape: All right, fine, you dunderhead.
What are you thinking?
Karkaroff: No, guess.
Snape: I did.
Karkaroff: Oh. OHHHHH. Blast! You win. Again. How do you always know?!
Snape: Must you be so obvious?

lemondrop13 · 08-27-2008, 01:45 AM

During the months of June and July, the Graveyard hosted a Death Eater Fan Fiction contest in which members were encouraged to write a fan fiction based on one of the following three topics:

Quote:

1. Write about any death eater being in a band of your choice. They could be in Linkin Park or Green Day or even the Backstreet Boys or Jonas Brothers! Just pick a DE and a band and get writing!

2. Write about any death eater's past life in Hogwarts or before they became at large. For example: "Lord Voldemort, known as Tom Riddle at the time, strolled down the Hogwart's express awaiting arrival at Hogwarts to serve his 4th year..."

3. Write about a death eater having to be undercover in a muggle school.

There was unitings theme amongst all three stories - each writer had to include irony in their story and each had to find a way to use these five words somewhere in the context of their story: manatee, broccoli, fleas, seahorse and rutabaga.

Here is the winning entry from MsMorgan:

Quote:

After briefly flirting with the idea of having Lucius Malfoy become a backup dancer for Justin Timberlake, I soon decided to have him join The Smiths. I really hope that someone ~~anyone~~ remembers them? I know I'm really dating myself here, but they were my favorite back in the day. Anyway --

One of Them

“You summoned me, my Lord?” asked Lucius Malfoy as he kneeled before his master, Lord Voldemort. He was apprehensive as he awaited his orders.

“I have an important task for you, Lucius,” rang out the cold, clear voice. “You may rise.”

Malfoy stood, trembling. He knew, whatever the task might be, he must succeed. He must make amends for his past failings.

“I need you to retrieve something for me,” said Voldemort, as Malfoy dared to glance up at him, eyebrows raised in question. “Surely you have heard of the Amulet of the Founders?” Voldemort asked.

Sensing Malfoy’s bewilderment, Voldemort continued, “Centuries ago, the four founders of Hogwarts together created a bracelet which was rumored to possess magical properties, one of which is the ability to protect its wearer from the Unforgivable Curses. If I can acquire the Amulet, I will truly be undefeatable.”

“Ah, yes, I do remember hearing of the Amulet of the Founders,” answered Malfoy, with dawning recognition, “but hasn’t it been lost for hundreds of years? And these magical properties – I thought they were just rumor?”

Malfoy cowered slightly as Voldemort narrowed his red eyes. “Rumor or not, I will have the Amulet. And you will get it for me.”

Voldemort shoved a photograph at Malfoy. It was a picture of four sullen-looking young men – obviously Muggles, Malfoy guessed, from the odd way they were dressed. “I recently came in possession of this picture taken in 1985 of a Muggle band called The Smiths. Do you see what this is?” Voldemort asked, pointing at one of the men in the photograph.

Malfoy squinted down at the photo. Voldemort was pointing at what appeared to be a metal bracelet on the wrist of one of the men. “Is this . . . this can’t be . . .” stammered Malfoy.

“Yes, Lucius,” whispered Voldemort. “I do believe that this is the Amulet of the Founders. Look closer and you can see what appears to be the crests of the four houses engraved into the bracelet.”

“And how did this Muggle come into possession of the Amulet?” asked Malfoy.

Voldemort paused, looking down at the photograph again before speaking. “That is not known to me, but it does not matter. What does matter is that this Muggle no longer possesses it. The last time the Amulet has been seen was in 1985, when this photograph was taken.”

“I do not understand, my Lord,” answered Malfoy, fearing to make eye contact. “If the Amulet has not been seen since 1985, how can I possibly retrieve it?”

Voldemort’s lipless mouth contorted into a malicious grin. “You will use this Time-Turner,” he said, holding out a small, silver hourglass on a chain, “to go back to 1985 and gain the trust of these Muggles by becoming a member of their band. Once you have done so, you will find the Amulet and return it to me in the present. You have three weeks to complete this task.”

Malfoy’s eyes widened in horror, as he stood speechless, words failing to form in his mouth. He, Lucius Malfoy, prestigious pure-blood wizard, forced to live among Muggles? Lucius Malfoy, the very wealthy pure-blood wizard, owner-of-the-finer-things-in-life like albino peacocks and aquarium-raised miniature seahorses, expected to join a Muggle band of all things?!

Voldemort gave a soft, evil laugh. “Not pleased? I thought that you of all people would be honored to be given such an important task.”

“N-no, my Lord,” stammered the alarmed Malfoy. “It is a great honor to fulfill your request.”

“Good,” hissed Voldemort. “Severus has taken the liberty of procuring a few things to help you, ah . . . fit in. Severus?”

At the sound of his name, Severus Snape, a tall, dark-haired man, walked into the room towards Malfoy, carrying an armload of clothing. Snape’s lip curled into a sneer as Malfoy held up a manky old t-shirt, staring with revulsion at the words “Save the Manatees” printed in large, faded letters on the front. He was clearly enjoying Malfoy’s humiliation.

Still wearing his evil grin, Voldemort continued, “You must be convincing, Lucius. These Muggles must believe that you are one of them in order for you to gain their trust. I know that on this specific date to which you will be traveling, The Smiths will be preparing for several concerts and need an extra guitarist to play with them during their performances. You will audition to be their supporting guitarist and it is essential that you succeed in acquiring the position.”

“Guitarist . . .” Malfoy repeated, now whispering. “But I don’t know how to play the guitar . . .” He stared blankly at the floor with his mouth slightly open in disbelief.

Again Voldemort laughed. “Easily remedied,” he drawled with a wave of his wand at Malfoy’s head. His memories had been modified to include those of years of guitar lessons. He now felt fairly confident that he could prevail in an audition, even if still utterly repulsed at the situation itself.

Voldemort handed Malfoy the Time-Turner and several pieces of parchment. “Listen carefully,” he jeered. “You must turn this Time-Turner back exactly 4,815 times – keep careful count, it must be precise to go back to the correct time. The instructions in this parchment will tell you the location of the audition and how to get back to the present once you have reclaimed the Amulet. Oh, and Lucius –“

Malfoy looked up at the sound of his name. “— don’t forget to change into your Muggle clothes,” Voldemort ended with a taunting laugh and dismissed him with a wave of his hand as he walked out the door.

Malfoy stood, stunned, as he watched the Dark Lord leave, but he knew there was no choice in the matter. Grabbing his new possessions and holding out his wand, he turned on the spot and Disapparated back to the manor. Feeling defeated, Malfoy slumped into a chair with his head in his hands, parchment and clothing spilling to the floor.

Noticing a commotion, a stately blonde woman came rushing into the room. “I thought I heard you come in,” Narcissa Malfoy said to her husband. She looked around at the troubled Lucius and scattered debris on the floor. “What happened? What did he want?” she whispered, terrified, nearing hysteria.

Lucius slowly lifted his head and peered up at his wife. “He has asked me to complete an important assignment, Cissy,” he stated flatly. “I will be leaving for a short time. Do not ask me any more questions. You know how angry he would be if I were to betray his trust by divulging his plans – even to you.”

Narcissa stood helplessly as she watched her husband gather what he had dropped and make his way slowly to their bedroom. She knew it was best not to follow him, so she poured herself a glass of firewhiskey and, sighing heavily, sat down in the large armchair next to the fireplace. All she could do was wait, something she had to do a lot of lately.

Meanwhile, Lucius closed the bedroom door behind him and sat down on the bed, opening the parchment. His eyes glazed over the written instructions, pausing briefly on words about disguising his name and appearance so as not to be recognized and risking the alteration of time. Well, he certainly wasn’t cutting off his long, luxurious blonde locks. He supposed he could change his hair with magic and easily change it back once finished with the task.

Scanning further down the parchment, he came to a complete stop at the words, “Once you have used the Time-Turner to go back to 1985, you must not use magic.” Not use magic? Lucius winced, closing his eyes and dropping the parchment once again. It was bad enough to have to live among Muggles, but to actually become one? Albeit it was only for three weeks, but the very idea was mortifying to him.

Grudgingly, he got up to change into the Muggle clothing that had been provided for him. Lucius grimaced as he pulled the shirt over his head. It smelled as if it hadn’t been Scourgified in some time and he was almost certain that his “new” jeans had a previous flea-infestation. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he waved his wand and watched as his hair seemed to shoot up into his head. With shaking hands, he tenderly touched his shortened, spiky hair. Only three weeks, he kept telling himself. At least he was still blonde.

Grabbing the Muggle jacket still lying on his bed, Malfoy hastily threw it on and stuffed the parchment in one of the pockets. There was something else there. Turning out the pockets, he realized that he had also been provided with Muggle money. That would certainly be useful, he thought. As he shoved it all back into the coat pockets, his eye caught something else still lying on the bed. His wand. Hesitatingly, he picked it up and, after a moment’s thought, decided to stow it in one of the jacket’s inside pockets. He knew he wasn’t supposed to use magic, but Malfoy wanted to be prepared for an emergency and, if he kept it hidden, it shouldn’t matter if he had it in his possession.

Sighing, he sat back down on his bed and pulled out the Time-Turner. Putting the chain around his neck, he started turning, counting to himself. It was tedious work to be so precise. When he stopped, he felt as though time was rushing past him – in reverse. Malfoy felt a sense of vertigo as events moved backwards, faster and faster, and then suddenly stopped.

This must be 1985, or at least he hoped, if he had used the Time-Turner correctly. Malfoy strode over to the window and looked out. The 1985 version of him and his family were walking through the garden. Bizarre. He stood, preoccupied, watching them for a moment before snapping back to reality and the task at hand. He must quickly leave the house before his family saw him.

He knew, as was stated in his directions, that there would be a cab waiting for him in front of his house to take him to the Underground. Never having had to use Muggle transportation, Lucius was apprehensive to say the least. The cab ride was fairly uneventful, though, other than the white-knuckle death grip on the door handle and the driver angrily demanding his fare as Lucius exited the cab without realizing the need to pay.

The ride on the Underground was rather crowded and uncomfortable, being in such close proximity to so many Muggles. At least they did not pay him much attention. He thought his appearance must fit in with them quite well. Malfoy covertly pulled out his parchment and scanned the directions to the location once more. He also had to come up with an alias and he just wasn’t good with Muggle names. At any rate the long ride gave him time to think.

Soon enough Lucius arrived at his destination. Walking up a deserted alley, he stopped at what looked to be an abandoned warehouse and cautiously pushed open the large door. Sitting on a dusty floor amidst various musical equipment were two of the young lads that Lucius recognized from Voldemort’s photograph. They both looked up at him as he entered. “Are you here for the audition, mate?” one of them asked.

“Erm, yeah . . .” Malfoy nodded. He looked around nervously at the musical instruments before realizing that he hadn’t brought anything to play.

“What’s your name?” asked the other of the two.

“Er . . . John Smith,” Lucius replied, before mentally slapping himself. Could he be any more generic? Well, he really wasn’t very good at Muggle names. The two boys on the floor exchanged an odd glance with each other. They seemed to be satisfied with his answer though.

“Yeah, I’m John too – Johnny Marr,” said the first guy. “And this bloke’s called Morrissey,” he added pointing to his friend. “Didn’t you bring anything to play?” Marr asked, giving Malfoy an appraising look. “No matter, you can borrow one of ours,” he added hastily before Malfoy could respond.

Lucius picked up the guitar closest to him and began to play. He wasn’t familiar with the music of The Smiths, but he played quite well and the other two seemed to be very impressed especially when Johnny Marr began to play as well and Lucius adjusted his style to match.

“Not bad, mate,” said Marr. “Morrissey and I need to talk things over and then we can let you know. Where are you staying?”

Lucius briefly closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. For such an intricate plan, Voldemort seemed to have left out a few key elements. Lucius looked at the boys shiftily. “I, uh, am in from out of town . . . and . . .”

The two band mates exchanged another odd look. “Why don’t you hang out here while we continue with the auditions and then we’ll talk,” offered Morrissey.

Malfoy nodded, then headed towards the corner. He shuddered as he looked around at all the dirt covering the floor, but there wasn’t a chair in sight so he resigned himself to sitting on the floor as well. A few more men visited the warehouse to audition, but none nearly as good as him, Malfoy thought haughtily. It did get rather boring listening to all these Muggles strum their little guitars most of the afternoon and Malfoy rested his head back against the wall, letting his eyes fall shut and drifting off to sleep.

“John – John Smith – Hey, John, wake up mate.” Lucius opened his eyes to see Johnny Marr shaking his shoulder. He looked over at Marr’s arm and his eyes widened at the sight of the Amulet on his wrist.

“We’ve been calling you for five minutes. You must have been dead tired,” laughed Marr. That, or not used to the new name enough to be roused by it, Malfoy thought bitterly.

“We’ve been talking it over and think that you would be right for the job,” said Morrissey, casually examining his own fingernails.

Lucius looked from Marr to Morrissey. “Uh, that’s . . . great,” he said.

“Great, that’s settled then,” drawled Morrissey. “Johnny will give you the details,” he continued, walking out of the warehouse, shutting the door behind him.

Malfoy watched with eyebrows raised as Morrissey walked away. Some Muggles behaved so strangely, he thought, rolling his eyes.

“So, here’s the music that we’ll be playing at our shows over the next few weeks,” Marr told Lucius as he handed him several pages of sheet music. “You have one week to learn it all and then we will be performing live the next two weeks. If you don’t have anywhere to go, you can stay at my place if you like. I have an extra camp bed.”

“Oh, alright . . . uh, thanks,” responded Malfoy. He was quite revolted at the idea of living in a Muggle house and sleeping on a Muggle bed, but he felt that he was out of options. Besides, this was the Muggle with the Amulet. What better way to get it from him than if he were staying at his house. It couldn’t be easier . . . Or so he thought.

The next week was painful. Memorizing the set list wasn’t so bad, but Lucius was also expected to contribute to the household chores at Marr’s house – without using magic, of course. He was expected to wash dishes, by hand, provide his own meals – which ended up consisting of peanut butter sandwiches and dry cereal, he didn’t know how to cook -- , and sometimes wash the floors using some sort of long stick with an oversized sponge on the end. Lucius was just glad that his wife and son were not there to see him. What would they think of a Malfoy performing such menial tasks?

He was also dumbstruck by the way these Muggles got by without magic. They apparently used something called “electricity” to power many things, including their lamps. For the first few days, Malfoy walked about the house cautiously gazing at the things around him, which garnered plenty of strange looks from Marr and the other members of the band who would periodically stop by.

Meeting the other band members was . . . interesting. Malfoy had already met Morrissey of course, and he could tell by the way he and Marr always had their heads together that they were the ones in charge. Marr was constantly writing new music for their songs, while Morrissey was the one with clever, sardonic lyrics. He was always going off on some political rant though and Malfoy usually did not fully grasp the weight of his words. The other two members of the band frequented much less and only seemed to be around to just do what they were told. Malfoy couldn’t remember their names and equated them to supporting characters in a novel. He found those two quite annoying actually, and it seemed Morrissey did too. Malfoy gathered from conversation that Morrissey was an avid vegetarian and with the success of their Meat is Murder album, the two extras, as Malfoy called them, decided to try their hand at song-writing, throwing around words like broccoli and rutabaga. Malfoy scowled and glanced over at Morrissey who was rolling his eyes. The two sniggered briefly at their absurdity and . . . wait, was Malfoy starting to like this Muggle? No, he told himself. Sure he could appreciate his sarcastic wit -- what Malfoy wouldn’t? -- but surely he couldn’t actually be friends with a Muggle . . .

Getting his hands on the Amulet proved to be difficult. Marr seemed to never take the thing off his wrist. Towards the end of his first week in the past, Lucius finally asked him about it. “That’s an interesting bracelet.”

“What, this?” replied Marr looking up and lifting his arm. “Oh, yeah, it’s like a good luck charm, I guess. A girl I used to date gave it to me a few years back. I like to have it on when I’m writing songs or performing. So you think you’re ready for our first show tomorrow night, mate?”

“Of course,” Malfoy drawled. It would be beneath him to exude anything but confidence to this Muggle. He knew all the songs now but the thought of performing live for thousands of people was slightly daunting.

Though Lucius was a bit nervous at the start of the first performance, he hid it well. The harmony between he and the rest of the band was simply astounding, and he found the thunderous applause that greeted them every night to be intoxicating. Soon everyone wanted to know who the striking blonde known as John Smith was. Lucius loved the attention and started to actually look forward to the shows.

“It’s been just smashing playing with you these past few weeks,” Marr said to Malfoy one night as they were leaving the stage. “Next time we have another batch of concerts, you’ll have to join us again.”

Lucius was once again snapped back to reality. His time was almost up and he still had not gotten hold of the Amulet. Would that man ever take off that bracelet? He only had a few hours before he had to return to the present.

It was late and Malfoy gratefully took Marr’s offer to let him sleep at his house before going home in the morning. He waited until Marr fell asleep, then slowly opened his bedroom door. Malfoy could see the Amulet encircling Marr’s wrist. His heart racing, he knew that he had to act now, but was afraid that he would wake him up. Malfoy remembered that he was forbidden to use magic, but with only an hour left he decided it would be his best bet. Pulling out his wand, Malfoy whispered Accio Amuletas the Amulet flew off of Marr’s wrist and into Malfoy’s hand. He turned and ran for his life out the front door. He couldn’t wait to get back to present day and see how Voldemort would reward him for a job well done . . .

Several months had passed since Lucius returned home and it had been a mere few weeks since the famous Harry Potter had defeated Lord Voldemort. Although Voldemort had been very pleased with Malfoy for completing his task, unfortunately for the Dark Lord the Amulet’s rumored magical protection was just that – rumored. Had it all been for nothing? Lucius walked over to the wireless on the table and waved his wand while muttering an incantation. Humming to himself as he heard the jangly guitar and that unique voice crooning, I was looking for a job and then I found a job, And Heaven knows I’m miserable now, he smiled as he remembered the secret he kept from everyone – the few days that he was one of them.

final word count w/o title: 3531
lyrics to Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smiths

lemondrop13 · 08-27-2008, 01:46 AM

Here is a second entry in the June/July Death Eater Fan Fiction contest, written by Slytherin Fox:

Quote:

What Is and What Should Never Be

James Patrick Page

Prologue
Led Zeppelin was one of the most important hard rock bands of the 70s, or any era. Their unique, hard driving sound helped form the basis for heavy metal as we know it today, yet they touched many styles of music including folk, country, funk and blues. Their lead guitarist, Jimmy Page, the founder of the band, surely ranks as one of the top guitarists of all time.

By 1979 the band had recorded nine of the greatest hard rock albums ever made but a year later, in September 1980, tragedy struck. Their drummer, John “Bonzo” Bonham was found dead at Jimmy Page’s house.

Jimmy Page, distraught, was thinking of ending the band forever.

Chapter 1 – In Through The Out Door
I'll run in the rain till I'm breathless
When I'm breathless I'll run till I drop, hey
The thoughts of a fool's kind of careless
I'm just a fool waiting on the wrong block, oh yeah
Light of the love that I found...
“Rodolphus, come quick, she’s getting away!” Rodolphus Lestrange heard the familiar shriek of his wife Bellatrix and went running through the streets of Diagon Alley to see what was happening to cause her to be so excited.

”It’s her, that mudblood Granger girl!”, Bellatrix exclaimed as he caught up to his wife at the entrance of Flourish and Blotts bookstore. “I’m sure we can get her to take us to that Potter boy and the Dark Lord will be very pleased with us. Come help me capture her, Rodolphus.”

Rodolphus sighed. He had come here with his wife hoping to spend a quiet day shopping for dark artifacts in nearby Knockturn Alley but alas, it seemed not to be. Not that he wasn’t a faithful Death Eater, but business with the Dark Lord always seemed to interfere in their lives.

There were many, Rodolphus knew, who assumed that he and Bellatrix had an arranged marriage of some sort, that they were only together because it was in the best interest of the Death Eaters for them to be husband and wife. The truth was that Rodolphus did love Bellatrix, she had the most spirit of any witch he had ever known and with her wild curly dark hair and athletic figure, she was beautiful. Bellatrix never said much one way or the other, but Rodolphus knew she loved him, too. She was totally devoted to the Dark Lord but that was a good thing, it just showed how fiercely loyal she was.

Thinking about all this made Rodolphus’ attitude mellow. “All right, we’re sure to catch her this time,” he said, getting into the spirit of the chase.

Eventually, after what seemed like an extraordinarily long time of waiting, Bellatrix and Rodolphus spotted their prey coming through the door of Flourish and Blotts, her arms loaded down with books. “Careful, we don’t want to startle her,” Rodolphus urged his over zealous wife, knowing how excited she could get, but it was already too late, Hermione was off running. It figured, she was a member of that troublesome Trio after all, Rodolphus sighed.

“Come on! We can’t let her get away!”, Bellatrix yelled, and the pair took off after the girl. Not surprisingly, they soon caught up to her, both of them being very light on their feet and very crafty. They were right on Hermione, so close they could grab her, and that’s when something happened. Rodolphus saw Hermione with something in her free hand, too late he realized that it was a time turner. He grabbed Bellatrix, trying to save her, but he was too late. He felt the sensation of being pulled somewhere, they were spinning away from this place, he was helpless to stop it. At least he and Bellatrix were together, wherever they were going.

Chapter 2 – Presence
Devil he told me to roll
The devil he told me to roll
How to roll the line tonight
Nobody's fault but mine
The spinning stopped.

Breathing a sigh of relief Rodolphus realized that he and Bellatrix were still in London, yet something had changed. His suspicions were confirmed when he glanced at a newspaper and saw the date, October 15, 1980. Both he and Bellatrix were still at Hogwarts at that time but here they were, as adults on the streets of London in their late 20’s! They were on a block with shops and restaurants all up and down, but they certainly weren’t in Diagon Alley anymore, that much was clear. This was a muggle shopping area, obviously.

“I think we’re going to have to find a way to blend in,” Rodolphus said. “We might look a little out of place.” The last thing they needed was for anyone to suspect they were a wizard and witch and there was no telling how long they might be stuck here, or if they’d ever get out of here.

“I’m hungry,” Bellatrix complained angrily. “Why don’t we go in one of these restaurants or pubs and get some food?”

“You win again,” said Rodolphus, selecting the darkest, gloomiest looking pub on the street. A sign on the door read simply “The Dartmouth Pub”. “They probably have some good fish and chips in a little place like this.”

The two entered the pub and took a seat. “I’ll bet this place has fleas,” Bellatrix sniffed. Rodolphus chose to ignore that comment.

After placing their order, Rodolphus took a look around. There was an area in the back where a band obviously played. “Oh good, we can hear some entertainment, then,” he mused. “What time does the band play?”, he asked the waiter, who was in his mid-20’s, medium build and had a nice head of long, curly blond hair.

“Oh, they play at 9:00 except they won’t be performing this week,” the man answered. “We’ve just lost our drummer. Can’t do a show without a drummer, you know.”

“A drummer, you say?”, Rodolphus asked, an idea forming in his mind. “Are there going to be tryouts, then?”

”Why do you ask? Do you play?”, the waiter asked.

“I play a bit,” said Rodolphus, which was actually a very modest understatement. While Rodolphus professed to hate all things related to the muggle world, the truth was that he was actually a huge fan of British hard rock from the 70s, his favorite band being Led Zeppelin. He also liked the Who, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, the Rolling Stones and others. He had been exposed to this type of music through a group of muggle boys who were constantly listening to it and while he pretended to hate it, the truth was that he thought it was the most awesome music ever. A fast learner with the added advantage of being a wizard, Rodolphus could play drums far better than most.

“Why don’t you show us what you’ve got, then? My name is Charlie Cochran and I play bass for the band. We call ourselves the Spotted Lizard. Hey Jeff, come over here a minute!”, Charlie yelled to a slim young man with long, light brown hair. “That’s our guitar player, Jeff Atwood. Go ahead, show us what you’ve got.” Charlie indicated the drum kit to Rodolphus and Rodolphus took a seat behind the drums.

“Can you play Happy Jack by the Who?”, Rodolphus asked. “We can play it,” Charlie said a bit doubtfully. “But the real question is, can you?” Keith Moon had been a very innovative drummer, very unique and difficult to follow. Charlie certainly wanted to hear what this young man could do, Rodolphus could tell that much.

Rodolphus smiled and launched into the trademark staccato drum beat effortlessly, not making one mistake.

“Who are you?”, Charlie and Jeff asked together, both clearly in disbelief when Rodolphus put down the drumsticks.

“I’m sorry, I forgot that I didn’t introduce myself,” Rodolphus laughed. “I’m Rick Levelle.” He realized he couldn’t use his real name, it was just a bit too strange sounding. “I’m here with my wife Belinda, we’re very new to London.” He was new to this London, he thought wryly.

“Well, I hope you stay around a while, we could use you in the band,” Charlie said. Jeff nodded in agreement and offered his hand. “Tony’s our singer, he isn’t here right now but I know he’ll have no problem with you.”

“Thank you,” said Rodolphus simply. Rodolphus suddenly realized he fit in as a member of a rock band already, he had shoulder length brown hair, a very neat mustache and beard and was very good looking in a rock star kind of way, at least that’s what Bellatrix told him. He also had a rather unique fashion sense and that would no doubt help the image even further.

“Well, at least you’ll have something to do until we get out of here and back to the Dark Lord,” Bellatrix said.

And so Rodolphus’ stint as a drummer with Spotted Lizard began. He played every night at the Dartmouth Pub, Bellatrix watching and listening. Though she never said it Rodolphus knew she liked this kind of music, too, and that she was proud of him. It was every girl’s fantasy to be with a member of a rock band, even if the girl was a witch.

Rodolphus had been with the band for about two weeks when the impossible happened. He was on stage playing with the band. They were performing “Smoke on the Water” by Deep Purple when he saw someone he recognized from the muggle boys’ CD covers and old magazine pictures enter the room and take a seat. That person was Jimmy Page, lead guitarist for the greatest band who ever lived, Led Zeppelin! It was shocking to see the look of sadness on his face, the man himself was painfully thin and even more pale and delicate looking in person, but it was definitely Jimmy Page.

At the end of the evening Rodolphus was shocked to see that Jimmy Page was still there. By this time Bellatrix had found her way over to his table, seemingly unable to resist his magnetism. The two seemed deep in conversation as Rodolphus finished up his set and came over to join them. “I know who you are,” he told Jimmy directly.

“I’m not surprised, I think everyone in the world knows who I am sometimes,” said Jimmy, his voice surprisingly soft. “I know who you are, too. You’re quite the drummer, Rick Levelle.”

Sadness was evident in Jimmy’s voice as he continued to speak. “It’s no accident my being here tonight, Rick. You see, I’ve come in here especially to listen to you play tonight. I’ve been hearing a lot about you, and what I’ve heard is true. I think you’re the only person in this world who could possibly replace Bonzo as our drummer. He was one of the greatest drummers who ever lived as well as my friend. I was just about to break the band up, but then I heard you.”

Rodolphus suddenly remembered that in September of 1980 John Bonham, otherwise known as Bonzo, the drummer of Led Zeppelin, had passed away. “”I’m sorry to hear about that,” Rodolphus said, then it hit him. Could this really be happening? “Are you saying that I can be the next drummer for Led Zeppelin?”, Rodolphus asked excitedly. He sounded just like any muggle, he realized, it didn’t even matter that he was a wizard anymore.

“Yes, I believe I am,” said Jimmy, sounding a bit surprised himself to be saying the words. Bellatrix beamed as the two men shook hands.

Chapter 3 – Houses of the Holy
Many dreams come true
And some have silver linings
I live for my dream
And a pocketful of gold.
From that moment on commenced the most exciting part of Rodolphus’ life. Nothing he had experienced in the wizarding world could compare to the thrill of touring with Led Zeppelin, playing drums on stage for one of the most legendary bands of all time and hearing the girls scream for him, though Bellatrix kept them all at a safe distance, of course. Rodolphus especially loved performing the song “Down by the Seaside”, sometimes that song would make him think about a beautiful, magical seahorse, though he wasn’t sure exactly what that meant. Maybe it showed his secret desire to live by the ocean, he had always felt most at peace when near water, he realized. One day, perhaps when they were older, maybe he and Bellatrix would live by the sea.

As time went on Rodolphus came to learn more and more about the band and their history. Rodolphus finally asked Jimmy, “How did you come up with the name Led Zeppelin? That’s a very interesting name.” Jimmy explained, “Oh, that was from Keith Moon.” Rodolphus knew very well that Keith Moon had been the famous drummer with the Who, he himself had often imitated his style. “Keith made the comment the band would probably go down like a lead zeppelin.” At this statement, both laughed. Led Zeppelin was one of the biggest bands in history.

Rodolphus got on very well with Robert Plant, the lead singer of Led Zeppelin and John Paul Jones, the bass player, but it was Jimmy who he felt closest to. He never felt this close to a muggle before and that was something that he just couldn’t explain. It went way beyond Jimmy being a famous celebrity.

One day Rodolphus came across a lovely painting at Jimmy’s house, it was a scene on a modern street and featured a beautiful brunette woman in the center. She actually looked quite a bit like Bellatrix, Rodolphus realized suddenly. “Who painted that?”, he asked. “I did,” Jimmy answered softly. Rodolphus whistled. “You really are a man of many talents,’” he said. Not only was Jimmy an extremely gifted and innovative guitarist, but he also had the ability to practically bring his subjects to life on the canvas as well. How could he be a muggle?

What was strangest of all was that Bellatrix, the biggest muggle hater ever, seemed to be quite attached to Jimmy. She affectionately referred to him as “the most gorgeous muggle who ever lived” with his soulful brown eyes and long, wavy dark hair. There really was a lot of mystery about this man who had learned to play the guitar at age 12, showed great artistic abilities and almost became a painter, then became an accomplished studio musician, played with the Yardbirds and went on to found one of the most important bands of all time. Jimmy had told Rodolphus that he was amazed how everyone’s approach to playing the guitar was different but that it was all valid, everyone’s playing was part of the overall picture. Rodolphus thought that was a classy statement and very characteristic of how Jimmy was. He never had a bad word to say about anyone, completely the opposite of Bellatrix in that respect.

Rodolphus’ mind kept focusing on this mystery even as he enjoyed the fame, something he had wanted all his life, especially given the fact that he was a Slytherin. It was somewhat ironic that he should find this fame as a member of a muggle band rather than in the wizarding world, he thought wryly to himself, though he found himself liking his circumstances more and more. There was no way he would ever give all this up, he decided. And yes, he would solve the mystery of Jimmy Page.

Chapter 4 – Physical Graffiti
Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face
And stars fill my dream
I'm a traveller of both time and space
To be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race
This world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait
All will be revealed
Finally, the time came when the mystery began to unfold. Rodolphus and Bellatrix had invited Jimmy to come for dinner. Bellatrix wanted to prepare her special rutabaga surprise for Jimmy, her best dish and the one everyone raved over.

It was funny how the topic came up. Jimmy asked Rodolphus innocently enough, “Rick, have you ever been interested in the occult?”

“Actually I’ve been interested in that topic my entire life,” Rodolphus said honestly. “Is there a reason why you bring it up?”

“Well, I’ve always been interested in the occult and especially the work of Aleister Crowley,” answered Jimmy. “Do you know of him?”

“I’ve heard of Aleister Crowley but he was a phony and a fake, not really a wizard at all but only wanting to be one,” said Rodolphus disgustedly.

“Really? And what makes you say that?”, sneered Jimmy.

“I can’t tell you, I only know that he wasn’t a wizard,” said Rodolphus, and it was true. Aleister Crowley was not a wizard, though it appeared that many muggles believed otherwise. Well, what did they know? “Why would you waste your time studying the work of someone like him?”

Rodolphus suddenly realized what it was about Jimmy, the thing that was different. Why hadn’t he seen it before? “Jimmy, have you ever thought that you might be a wizard?”, Rodolphus asked curiously.

”Ive always believed I had magical powers,” Jimmy answered slowly.

“Well, you might be right.” Not really thinking about what he was doing, Rodolphus reached for his wand. “I want you to take this wand and make that glass of water come to you,” said Rodolphus, indicating a glass of water on the sink. “Point the wand at the glass and say Accio water, just like that.”

Jimmy shook his head. “Are you crazy?”, he asked, looking confused.

“Just give it a try. You might be surprised at what happens. Just play along with me, man,” Rodolphus urged.

“All right, if it makes you happy,” Jimmy said sarcastically. “What was that word you said?”

”Accio,” replied Rodolphus. “It’s a simple summoning spell.”

“Accio water,” said Jimmy, pointing the wand at the glass. Just then the water glass began to move, just slightly.

“You do have the power,” said Rodolphus. “I knew it! Try it again, this time really mean it.”

“Accio water!”, Jimmy said more forcefully, and the glass of water rose up and drifted from the sink into his hand, not spilling a drop in the process! Jimmy stared at the glass in shock. “How ---“

“This might be a bit hard to take, but maybe not,” Rodolphus said. “I’m a wizard, too. My real name is Rodolphus Lestrange and Belinda’s name is really Bellatrix. Bellatrix is a witch, and a very powerful one at that. I sensed you were a wizard from the first time I heard you play. No mere muggle could play guitar like that, there has to be magic involved.”

”This is so amazing,” said Jimmy. “I take it I can do a lot more than just bring a glass of water across the room?”

”Yes, of course you can, and we’ll work on all of that. There are things I can show you, so many things.” Rodolphus was excited. He wondered what kind of Death Eater Jimmy would have made.

“You have already taught me so much,” said Jimmy. “These past years I’ve despaired, turning to things I shouldn’t have when I could have had the magic all along.”

“All you really need is the magic, not those other things,” Rodolphus answered. “The magic can do so much for you, more than you could ever imagine!”

Suddenly Rodolphus realized yes, Jimmy was a wizard, but this meant he was a muggleborn. Still, the fact that his abilities had never come out except through his exceptional talents was pretty amazing. Somehow the fact that he was a wizard had gone undetected all these years. Were muggles really that stupid?

“Let me show you some more things,” said Rodolphus. “Bellatrix, would you like to join us? She’s the greatest witch of all time,” Rodolphus said proudly.

Jimmy looked at Bellatrix and she back at him. Rodolphus could sense that there was chemistry between the two of them, in some way even stronger than what he had ever had with her. Maybe he had simply been blind not to see it. He wondered what would happen if he simply gave up, would the two of them be happy together?

Rodolphus didn’t realize the power Jimmy had over Bellatrix. It was the power that a true rock star holds over almost all women, turning her into nothing but a giggly girl, a foolish groupie. Jimmy found Bellatrix very attractive, too, but Rodolphus had nothing to fear. Jimmy was his friend and he would never betray Rodolphus by acting on any feelings he might have toward Bellatrix. This was all just an innocent flirtation. Jimmy winked at Rodolphus to reassure him.

Suddenly, Rodolphus understood. He realized nothing was wrong, that Bellatrix would always be his woman no matter what “Your training begins now,” Rodolphus told Jimmy. “Let’s try conjuring your favorite animal. What would that be?”

“The manatee,” answered Jimmy.

“Manatee, I should have known.” Rodolphus shook his head. This was going to be interesting.

Chapter 5 – The Song Remains the Same
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How ev'rything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
Rodolphus had become quite interested in the muggle television. He had never seen anything like it before. Today Jimmy was watching some sort of athletic competition between two teams and Rodolphus stopped to watch.

“What sports do you have in the wizarding world?”, Jimmy asked curiously.

“Our main game is a sport called quidditch. It’s not really like any muggle sports that I can think of, mainly because it’s played while flying on brooms.”

“That must be really amazing,” said Jimmy, intrigued. “Did you play?”

“Flying wasn’t really my thing, I was more committed to following the dark side,” Rodolphus said honestly.

“Shame,” said Jimmy. “I really enjoy sports, especially the Chelsea Football Club. That’s what we’re watching now. But quidditch sounds even more exciting.”

”I wish I could take you to a match,” said Rodolphus. There was no way that could ever happen, he was going to stay here forever. This was where he belonged.

Surprisingly, Rodolphus was finding himself growing much closer to Bellatrix than he had ever felt before. He found himself really falling in love with her and realized what a lucky man he was to have her. The two began to hold hands in public and kiss, something they had never done before. It was very romantic and sweet.

Jimmy was showing much promise as a wizard, the group was bigger than ever and, in fact, Jimmy, Robert, John Paul and Rodolphus were working on new material.

Rodolphus was thinking more and more about Jimmy in the wizarding world, continuing to wonder if he would choose to be a Death Eater. Knowing that Jimmy had been drawn to the dark magic of Aleister Crowley, Rodolphus thought Jimmy would be interested in being a Death Eater.

Rodolphus decided that he was going to explain his dark mark to Jimmy and talk to him about who the Dark Lord was, who the Death Eaters were and what they represented. Jimmy had seen his and Bellatrix’s arms many times, of course, all he had said was that the dark mark was an “awesome tattoo”. It was time to tell Jimmy the truth. Rodolphus wanted him to know about the Dark Lord, there was no harm in it now. After all, he and Bellatrix were never going to be leaving this place.

Rodolphus went to bed that night resolving to tell Jimmy everything the next morning. He wanted him to understand everything about his world, it was the least he could do. In some ways, what Jimmy had done for Rodolphus was even greater than what Rodolphus had done for him. As the drummer for Led Zeppelin, Rodolphus truly was living the dream.

The next morning Rodolphus was awakened to find Lucius Malfoy standing by his bedside with the time turner in his hand! “What are you doing here?”, he asked. “And better yet, how did you get here?”

“I’ve come to take you back with me. You know you can’t stay here. It took Draco forever to get this time turner from the Granger girl, then we both had to torture her to tell us where she had sent the two of you. Come on, we have to go!”

“But I want to stay here,” Rodolphus insisted. “Bellatrix does, too.”

“Stay here with muggles? Why?”, Lucius asked incredulously.

”Jimmy’s not a muggle, he’s a wizard like us. On top of that, I have to admit that it’s pretty nice being part of the greatest rock and roll band ever, “Rodolphus said.

“This is out of the question. If you stay here history will be changed, especially Death Eater history. Who will be there to drive Frank and Alice Longbottom to insanity with the cruciatus curse? You and Bellatrix have to do that. Besides, Bellatrix is the one who will kill her cousin, that pest Sirius Black. I’m afraid that you and Bellatrix staying here is completely out of the question.” Lucius was insistent.

Reluctantly Rodolphus agreed, and called Bellatrix over to tell her the news. Bellatrix walked up carrying a tray with various raw vegetables such as broccoli, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, pepper slices, carrot slices and a ranch dip. “We’re just getting ready for another party,” she explained. “Lucius, would you care for a mushroom or maybe some broccoli?” Bellatrix could be a little spacey at times, it was part of her charm. She then reacted with a start, finally realizing what was going on. “Ummm, Lucius, what are you doing here?”

Bellatrix took a seat on the bed. “I have a feeling this is going to take a while,” she said. An angry look appeared on her face as Lucius began his speech but eventually she too agreed that they had no choice but to leave this place, especially after Lucius explained to her about how Death Eater history would be changed. She was ever the Dark Lord’s most faithful servant to the end.

“For the first time in my life I was really happy,” Bellatrix whispered to Rodolphus.

“Yes, I know,” Rodolphus said, squeezing Bellatrix’s hand. It was shocking how mellow she was becoming. “I wish we could stay here, too, but we really have no choice. History has already been decided.”

Rodolphus looked at Bellatrix. He had a funny feeling she was going to go back to the way she always was once they left here, the strong, impulsive woman who served the Dark Lord above all others. He just wanted to remember her this way, the soft, gentle Bellatrix, just for a little while.

Sadly the two of them joined with Lucius in holding onto the time turner, Rodolphus and Bellatrix leaving this life behind forever, neither of them even having time to say goodbye to Jimmy. Jimmy would have no memory that any of this had ever happened, but Rodolphus knew in his heart that he would never forget this adventure, or what could have been. He never imagined in his wildest dreams that he was suited more for the rock star life than that of a Death Eater.

Epilogue
In December 1980, three months after John Bonham’s death, Jimmy Page disbanded Led Zeppelin, bringing their reign as kings of hard rock to an end, though their music will live on forever.

Jimmy Page still lives today. In 2005 he was awarded an Order of the British Empire (OBE) for all his charity work. He has been married three times and has four children. His oldest child, daughter Scarlet Page, is a noted photographer. It is rumored that Jimmy owned and played nearly 1,500 guitars.

No one is really sure what became of Rodolphus Lestrange. After Voldemort was defeated at the Battle of Hogwarts and his wife Bellatrix was killed, he simply disappeared.

Discography
Exceprts of songs found at beginning of chapters are –

Chapter 1 – From Fool in the Rain from the album In Through the Out Door, released 1979 on the Swan Song label, written by Page and Plant.
Chapter 2 – From Nobody’s Fault But Mine from the album Presence, released 1976 on the Swan Song label, written by Page and Plant.
Chapter 3 – From Over the Hills and Far Away from the album Houses of the Holy, released 1973 on the Swan Song label, written by Page and Plant.
Chapter 4 – From Kashmir from the album Physical Graffiti, released 1975 on the Swan Song label, written by Page and Plant
Chapter 5 – From Stairway to Heaven from the album Led Zeppelin IV (later found on the Song Remains the Same), originally released 1971 on the Atlantic label, written by Page and Plant.

The title of this FF, What is and What Should Never Be, is a song on the album Led Zeppelin II, released 1969 on the Atlantic label, written by Page and Plant.

lemondrop13 · 09-11-2008, 12:41 PM

The month of August saw the Graveyard filled with graphics as we proudly presented a contest in which members had the choice of making any and/or all of the following types of graphics:

1. Avatar
2. Signature
3. Matching avatar/signature set
4. Banner

The theme you ask? We gave choices for that too! Each graphic had to incorporate one or more Death Eaters in it (after all, this is the Graveyard Fan Club) and could be based from one of the following themes:

1. The Olympics
2. Back to school
3. Fun at the beach

Linda (Slytherin Fox) got us started by displaying some graphics of her own to get our members motivated. Here they are:

Quote:

Fun at the Beach Avatar/Signature Set:

Back to School Banner:

Olympics Signatures:

Olympics avatar:

A Bit of Bee and Laurie submitted the following entry into the Signature Category:

Quote:

Fun At the Beach:

BanaBatGirl submitted two signatures and an avatar and came away with wins in two categories:

Quote:

Back to School Signature (WINNER!):

Olympics Signature:

Olympics Avatar (WINNER!):

PhoenixRising submitted three signature/avatar sets and came away with a winner:

Quote:

Back to School Set (WINNER!):

The Olympics Set:

Fun at the Beach Set:

We had one signature entry from bonnelass830:

Quote:

lemondrop13 · 10-03-2008, 01:26 AM

September featured a Graveyard Carnival, in which games and rides were represented by fun tasks that members needed to complete to obtain tickets to gain access to more intense rides! Here are some of the entries submitted for a number of tasks:

For the Fun House of Mirrors Doll Maker task, participants were asked to create a doll to reflect a known male or female Death Eater of their choosing. Here are the amazing results, all of which happen to be of Bellatrix Lestrange!

MsMorgan submitted the following mirror reflection of Bellatrix:

Quote:

And this image of Ms. Lestrange was entered by MuggleBornWitch3:

Quote:

PhoenixRising showed us how Bellatrix looked on her wedding day:

Quote:

And ravenclawrox*_* revealed Bellatrix's look while wearing her mask:

Quote:

When members wanted to board the roller coaster, they first needed to write a drabble about Death Eaters at a carnival/theme park. A drabble is a short story describing an event or a scene in no more or less than 100 words. Here are two of the finest drabbles ever seen!

PhoenixRising submitted the following drabble featuring cotton candy:

Quote:

“Cotton candy?” Bellatrix arched one brow in confusion. “I don’t fancy eating something my robes are made of.”

Voldemort shook his head at her ignorance. “No Bella, cotton candy is a delicious flavoured sugar dessert. My treat.”

“Why would I want to eat flavoured sugar?”

“So you could get all hyped up about using that new curse you learned.”

Bella nodded in understanding, finally, and finished packing her backpack. Wand – check. Galleons – check. Long-sleeves – check.

***

Bella and Voldemort departed for the most thrilling adventure; a carnival taking place right in Little Hangleton Graveyard – such memories.

“This is bloody delicious!”

MsMorgan delighted us with the banter between in-laws:

Quote:

"C'mon Lucius! It'll be fun!" Bellatrix pulled her brother-in-law by the arm onto the Mean Streak. Lucius tried to protest, but the insistent witch had his arm in a death grip as she shoved him onto the seat. Lucius groaned as they inclined the first hill and the ride wasn't over soon enough.

"So what did I tell you? Fun, right?" Bellatrix exclaimed as they got off the ride. Lucius grimaced as he pulled out a mirror to check his reflection. Easy for you to say, he thought, your hair always looks like you just got off a roller coaster.

The penultimate of rides - the bungee jump - required members to take the plunge and design a Death Eater puppet, either a sock puppet, a paper bag puppet, or any other kind of puppet they chose! We had two creative and adorable entries!

PhoenixRising submitted a paperbag puppet of Narcissa Malfoy:

MsMorgan replicated Draco Malfoy in his little black shirt:

In order to get a sack for the Potato Sack Slide, participants needed to send out a 5 sentence User Note about Death Eaters, using each of the following words separately: "potato," "sack," and "slide." Here are just a few of the resulting UNs:

MuggleBornWitch3 wrote the following three User Notes:

Quote:

Lucius Malfoy keeps all of his valuable posessions in a large, brown sack. He carries this sack with him wherever he goes, so that he'll always have his most prized possessions right at his fingertips. If you reach deep down into the sack, you may be able to grab an item that looks and smells just like a potato; however, this is actually a circular object full of dark magic. There are many other items in the sack, as well, including a microscopic slide that Lucius uses when testing evil potions. Whenever you see Lucius and his sack, you can guarantee that he is up to no good.

Quote:

Severus Snape and Bellatrix Lestrange have been sent on a mission. This mission includes traveling to a grocery store and buying a large potato for a cookout at Lucius Malfoy's house. While at the grocery store, Severus and Bellatrix have been instructed to plant a sack of poisonous bananas somewhere on aisle five. Who knows what the Dark Lord is up to now? As soon as Severus and Bellatrix have completed the mission, they are to slide out of the store undetected.

Quote:

Barty Crouch Jr. has invented a cool, new dance. It's called the Jumpin' Jack Slide. It's the new, big thing at all the wizarding parties around here. To do this dance, you will first need a large, brown sack. After hopping in the sack, you attempt to do several jumping jacks while sliding shiftily across the dance floor. If you succeed, you will be among wizarding's COOLEST! Hey, you may end up looking like a huge potato, but in the longrun, your coolness factor is sure to go up!

This UN was written by milloy112:

Quote:

Voldemort walked into his main chamber eating a potato. He walked over to the man who was tied in a see through sack above the table in the center of the room. "Now tell me were are they" He said as he held his wand up to the top of the sack. "i dont know" He replied quickly. At thaat Voldemort raised his wand and a slide appeared under the man that went accross the table and into a kennel tiype of thing with a word written on it, "Nagini".

MsMorgan's creativity was flowing when she wrote these two UNs:

Quote:

The Malfoys were busy getting ready for the annual Death Eaters' picnic. Narcissa brought her award-winning potato salad. Lucius sent little Draco off with the other Death Eaters' kids to play on the slide and swings. When it came time for the sack race, Lucius was in the lead until Bellatrix elbowed him out of the way and won. What a cheater!

Quote:

Bellatrix and Rodolphus were thinking of ideas for the Death Eater talent show. Rodolphus told Bellatrix, "I've always been good at Sock Skating, you know, slide across the floor in my socks..." Bellatrix refused to dignify that suggestion with a response, she only rolled her eyes in disgust. Bellatrix then spoke, "We could try juggling and use potatoes since I just bought a sack of them today." That turned out to be a good idea because Voldemort was so impressed with their mad juggling skills that he awarded them first place!

This fun, hunger-inducing UN was written by PhoenixRising:

Quote:

It was just an hour before dusk, which meant that Bellatrix needed to finish peeling her potatoes for her top secret, but most delicious, potato salad. Bella had a fabulous evening planned for her and Rodolphus, consisting of eating her well prepared meal in a black sack on the rooftop. Oh that potato salad smelled delicious . . . After finishing the salad, they would slide down the roof for some good old fashioned fun!

Ginevra_P whipped up some fabulous writing for these UNs:

Quote:

The Carnival was going as planned and Lord Voldemort was pleased. Everyone that went on the Giant Slide screamed their lungs out. One little boy was laughing merrily as he came off. They could not let the Dark Lord see a happy child. So Bellatrix lured him into a sack by promising him creamed potatoes.

Quote:

The Carnival was in a success so Narcissa decided to open a food stall. She even got Lucius and Draco to help her out so she can brag about her cooking. Her main dish was Sweet Potato Pie. Bellatrix was jealous and tried to get her sacked. She complained to the Dark Lord, but he just it slide.

Quote:

The Death Eaters were busy preparing for the upcoming carnival. Everything was as perfect as could be. Greyback was trying to bully Draco into trying out the slides first. Narcissa was rushing over to help Draco when she bumped into Nott. The sack of potatoes he was carrying fell onto the ground with a loud thud.

lemondrop13 · 11-14-2008, 01:57 PM

In order to celebrate all the creepiness represented by the month of October, the Graveyard held a humorous Obituary Writing Contest for our beloved deceased Death Eaters. Here are the entries, the first of which was the winning entry from Tomasina Riddle!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Entry by Tomasina Riddle

Well folks it is always sad to report the passing of a friend. But today is not one of those days. Bellatrix LeStrange the darkly evil temptress of the inner circle of Lord Voldemort is being entombed this afternoon at the family cemetery at the Black family compound.

Bellatrix is survived by a grandfather clock that the eccentric death eater claimed is haunted by the ghost of her late mother. This reporter was rudely yelled at by the family's coo coo clock when I tried to get an interview with the grandfather clock. She is also survived by two sisters. Andromeda Tonks, who last year submitted the world's longest cucumber to the London city fair. She would have gotten first place, but the cucumber slapped a judge for calling it too fat in the middle and sent him home crying. And she is survived by her sister Narcissa Malfoy, nicknamed the Venus flytrap, by friends and family for how she attacks any cauldron cake within a 20 meter radius.

Services for the liberated Azkaban resident are being held at the LeStrange Castle and attendees are asked to bring cauldron cakes (if you want to keep from being hexed by Cissy Malfoy) and spare clock pieces (it seems the coo coo clock and the grandfather clock had a bit of a family spat).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Entry by A Bit of Bee and Laurie

This is purely fantastical, as I know nothing of the man rofl.

Ivan Rossier
Wherabouts not known

The beginning of time until the Grim Reaper became bored of waiting

Services On: Whenever you like. We're not holding any.

Ivan Rossier, the beloved imaginary freind of Tom Marvolo Riddle aka Lord "Shaken, Not Bludgeoned" Voldemort, passed away peacefully in his sleep this morning, unlike the other passangers on the Knight Bus which he was driving. Not much is known of this intensely private man, although there are some rather unfortunate tales in the air regarding himself and a rather pitiful Cucumber. Needless to say, Grandama Rossier shan't be having it in her Sandwiches at Sunday Tea. He worked for some time as a Farm hand, although once the Animals began to dissappear in rather unfortunate circumstanced, he was laid off to find other employment. Himself and the odd menagerie had had acquired found themselves wandering the streets for a time as a travelling circus of the bizarre, to be found more than likely on the streets of London rather than the Cirque Du Soleil. He was discovered by Tom during his time at the Orphanage, although not one can vouch for this. they claim not to have heard the noise of the Duck Cabaret not the Bovine Poker sessions held in the boy's bedroom of a night.

Survived by a Venus Flytrap and his dear Goose, Gosinda, father to half Goose and half Man children by the names of Gilbert, Galadriel and Galavan. Beloved Grandfather to Gertrude and Gayvin

Services: Although we did request a burial, they did stress that they would have to literally see the body to bury it. Some graveyards are funny like that. Oh. And whilst we're on the subject:

For Sale:

Old, Battered Grandfather Clock
In good condition although tends to tick backwards.
3 galleons or best offer.
See Lucius for more details.

Address:

43 Hideout Avenue
Fakeville
Surrey
PO BOX IH8U M01ne

Quote:

Originally Posted by Entry by liammoiser

Voldemort

The graveyard

Janurary 11 1950 to July 23 1997

serviced on July 27 1997

Voldermort born 1/11/1950 as Tom Riddle died Wednesday morning in the arms of his trusty servant Womtail. Born in an ophanage Tom Riddle lived there until he attended Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry where he learn a lot of stuff, in his later life Voldermort turn to the dark side and lived with his trusty servants.

Voldemorts followers will be shooting a dark mark into the sky as respect to there fallen leader. He had no family so the person who will take over is unclear or if there will be anymore death eaters is unclear.

serviced on the date of July 27 at 11.00am

signed Reverend T.Smithloter

Quote:

Originally Posted by Entry by dan arjay

Voldemort
Date of Birth: ??/xx/??
Date of Death: unknown
Date of Rebirth: xx/xx/xx
Date of Permanent Death: Celebrated!

Service: (will be a fiesta; with fireworks display and lots of foods and freebies)

Dearly Beloved,

Tom Marvolo Riddle, Also known as Voldemort, of an infinite age (he thought), (finally) died in the arms of no one. He would always be remembered not only of being destructive and killed people but also as the man who thought cucumber was the best, and thought it was of Slytherin's origin. At his death everybody cried(of enjoyment and relief).

Survived by everyone, he will be cremated on grandsfather clock inside a cucumber coffin and his ashes will be fed to the venus flytrap of your choice.
Everybody is obliged to join!

Note: Intense emotions will be expressed! (Joy and laughter awaits those who will join the funeral!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Entry by Denny McDonald

Regalus Black was one of the Black family. There is a lot of them. He is survived by his young wife, Ramona Black( nee White) and his brothers Sirius and Clint Black.
He was born on Oct. 31, 1974. His job was in the ministry. He was in the Magic Dept. He had been second in command.He had a young child born to him ,but he never mer her. Her name is Lola Black. Ramona had her right after he died at the dirty hands of Voldemort.Death Eater he was, then he wasn't because he knew his wife wanted him to be like his brothers good guys. The girl he had on the way would have been enough for him to change, too.
He lunged at Voldemort, but Voldemort said the nasty thing to him, he lied about being the father of Regalus child and then said "Avada Kedavra"
The viewing is at 12 midnight. It will be held at the church of Houdini.
The next day the funreal will follow at three A. M. at the Church of Houdini Then he will be finally buried at The Whomping Willow on the school grounds
at 7. A. M.
In lieu of flowers, please make donations to the trust fund of Lola Black.

**Slytherin Fox** · 01-02-2009, 04:53 AM

Here are mmesnape's (winner of our 12 Days of Morsmordre contest) 12 winning entries! Enjoy -

Yes! I want an ornement... Are you putting our real name or Sns?

Activity #2

(Found in Slytherin Fox's UNs!)

For Christmas, join the DEFC contest for the twelve days of Morsmordre!
T'was the night before Christmas
And all though the manor
Not an elf was stirring,
not even the one called Zebra!
The Potions cup was placed on the mantle with care,
In hopes that Bella's ponytail did not knock it over once again
The Death Eaters were nestled all snug in their 4 poster beds,
While visions of turnips and hot dogs danced in their heads...

Come along, have a visit... the DEs really want to play with you!!
Muahahahaha!

Activity #3

Making a list and checking it twice:

1. A lovely blood-red set of robes for the Dark Lord.
2. A new pearl handle dagger for Bella.
3. A pimp cane polishing kit for Lucius.
4. Mint flavored dental floss for Fenrir... he really needs it.
5. A big bag of Cheese Puffs for Pettigrew.
6. A gift voucher to a hair salon for Snape.
7. A twin set of Walkie-talkies for the Carrows.
8. A proper given name for Yaxley. (Something like Buck, Bucky, Bud or Troy)
9. A subscription to Executioner's Digest for McNair.
10. A nice massage voucher for Barty Crouch Jr...he's way too tense... or is that intense?

Activity #4

1. naroglic : caroling
2. gostckin : stockings
3. strepnes : presents
4. gergnites : greetings
5. timesolte : mistletoe
6. geloluy (2 words) : Yule log
7. lastcanaus (2 words) : Santa Claus
8. dialhoys : holidays
9. belantricero : celebrator (or recreation)
10. newirt : winter

Activity #5

Mistletoe, mistletoe
Hanging with a bow
Bella, wanting and gung ho
As her Lord, stood below

Just a kiss
She purred, almost a hiss
Hoping he wouldn't miss
This Yule time bliss

Pucker up, she said
Lips, inviting and red
His, both thin and staid
Curled wickedly, her point made

Oh! the delights
Of Christmas nights
The twinkle of lights
And Santa is in our sights.

Activity #6

]#1: Mausoleum chat V.2, Post #7

#2: Imperio Games, Post #11

#3: DE and LV at the movies, Post #3

#4: Suggest an activity, Post #15

#5: 101 things the Death Eaters can do in winter, Post #4

#6: TG topic #2/ Favorite Death Eater, Post #19

Activity #7

This is my little contribution for wrapping paper... Hope you like it. LOL

Activity #8

Activity #9

The twelve days of ~~morsmordre~~ of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A Time-turner on a long chain.

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four Ministry Heads,
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden Galleons,
Four Ministry Heads,
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six glowing gargoyles,
Five golden Galleons,
Four Ministry Heads,
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven skiving-snack boxes,
Six glowing gargoyles,
Five golden Galleons,
Four Ministry Heads,
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight Order members,
Seven skiving-snack boxes,
Six glowing gargoyles,
Five golden Galleons,
Four Ministry Heads,
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine witches dancing,
Eight Order members,
Seven skiving-snack boxes,
Six glowing gargoyles,
Five golden Galleons,
Four Ministry Heads,
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten lords a-blasting,
Nine witches dancing,
Eight Order members,
Seven skiving-snack boxes,
Six glowing gargoyles,
Five golden Galleons,
Four Ministry Heads,
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven muggle slayings,
Ten lords a-blasting,
Nine witches dancing,
Eight Order members,
Seven skiving-snack boxes,
Six glowing gargoyles,
Five golden Galleons,
Four Ministry Heads,
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve DEs a-killing,
Eleven muggle slayings,
Ten lords a-blasting,
Nine witches dancing,
Eight Order members,
Seven skiving-snack boxes,
Six glowing gargoyles,
Five golden Galleons,
Four Ministry Heads,
Three dead Inferi,
Two horned toads,
And a Time-turner on a long chain!

Activity #10

To Severus!

I see the plumes
From your cauldron's fumes
Dancing as delicate perfumes
As Christmas, thus looms

A swirl
A twirl
I'm in a whirl
Your wand, makes this witch curl

I swoon
Under the moon
As you croon
The spells you so attune

And so, my love
On this eve, thereof
In the hopes, that up above
The gods will see that we are hand and glove.

Activity #11

Here's my avvie...

Activity #12

Here's my postcard...

Dan Arjay submitted this entry for Activity #8 -

BanaBatGirl submitted this entry for Activity #2 -

Activity Two: Posted in FoxFire's UNs

[SIZE="1"]Severus Snape paced the garden, waiting for Wormtail arrive. Why he'd forced them to meet in the back 40 acres of a random Muggle turnip farm, he'd never know. He would have much rather preferred to meet at Shrute Farms, home of the finest beets Muggles would ever taste.

At last, a little POP! sound could be heard from behind Snape. He whirled around and came face-to-face with Peter, who was busy eating a hotdog. "Wormtail," he snarled, "Tell me WHAT is going on."

Peter finished chewing and swallowed, burping loudly. "We're going to the carnival, Sniv -- er, Severus," he said cheerfully. "Tis your birthday surprise!" Wormtail beamed and then snapped his fingers; suddenly, the turnip farm they'd been standing on had transfigured into a carnival and Snape was no longer standing, but rather sitting on a striped zebra.

"I...who....ohhh! I always wanted a zebra..." Severus mumbled, secretly pleased that Peter had remembered. He petted the zebra's mane which was all split up into little ponytails. Snape would never admit it, but he was secretly pleased that Peter had remembered his birthday and given him just what he'd wanted.

And this was her entry for Activity #3 -

1. A muggle captive.
2. Handknitted scarf from Volide saying, "My Favorite."
3. Some of Lucius' famous dark-chocolate cookies.
4. A Horcrux to guard and keep safe.
5. A BFF charm bracelet from Voldie.
6. A brand new mechanical hand. ;O
7. Permission to take a vacation and not be punished upon arrival home.
8. A shiny, expensive new broom.
9. A lock of Bella's hair. xD (only works for the male DEs)
10. The honor of having Voldemort's head stick out of the back of your own! YAY!

Here is an example for Activity #8, made by Becky -

And here are two examples for Activities #7 and #12, made by me -

**Slytherin Fox** · 01-03-2009, 07:22 PM

Here is the holiday tree which was made for the members for Christmas 2008. Becky made all the ornaments with names on them and Slytherin Fox made the rest of the tree -

**Slytherin Fox** · 03-18-2009, 07:33 PM

We received some great entries in our Ring in the New contest, and here they are!

noneworld made this graphic -

and mmesnape submitted these New Year's resolutions -

Serena's aka Lady Voldemort's Resolutions for the year 2009

1. I shall continue on my quest of devotion to the Dark Lord's needs & utmust desires i.e. snuff out any Blood Traitors or mudbloods

2. I shall acquire a House Elf...I will ask my best buds....

3. Going on this recommendation, I am positive that the Malfoys will invite me to their annual feast...

4. If not, I will show them who's boss and who can be a beast...

5. And finally and of the utmost importance...Bellatrix Lestrange will feel the wrath of Serena if she interrupts my annual feast.

6. And not to forget....the Dark Lord

must have new robes....I will order them for him immediately....

**Slytherin Fox** · 04-07-2009, 07:34 AM

There were four great entries in our recent Love Poetry contest, and here they are!

From PhoenixRising -

Quote:

Bellatrix Lestrange
Will crucio into love
Just give her a chance!

From mmesnape -

Quote:

From the manor born

In the darkened sky above
It's brilliant orb shines
Below, my beloved's silken mane glitters
Catching each delicate ray
As i reflect upon moments passed
Where he and I had stood face to face

His icy stare still mesmerizes me
Inviting, but oddly dismissive at times
Offering little warmth on many a day
Capable of bestowing charm and wit
With the ease of a practiced statesman
When his Lord demands it

He whispers to my ear
Lovely words that leave me trembling
Shuddering a sigh as I await a sign
His breath, soft upon my skin
Tantalizing and slightly obscene
His promises of delight, on this very night.

True, Valentine's comes but once a year
And yes, I look forward to its abundance
Regardless of the follies he has darkly committed
My love will forever be
The master of his domain
And the cherished jewel in my heart.

From lemondrop13 -

Quote:

To Lucius, Love Narcissa

Never has a woman before I
had a husband so handsome or pure.
Your pride brings a tear to my eye.
And my love has no hope of a cure.

With blonde locks so smooth and so shiny,
you caught my eye from the moment I saw.
Your tolerance of blood traitors is tiny.
You, like I, despise that uncouth flaw.

Our son, like his father, is fair,
with an elitist mindset to boot!
To my life, no woman's can compare.
My luck and love you cannot dispute.

Also from mmesnape -

Quote:

Mmmm!

His silken locks
Softly fall forward
Hiding his eager, silver eyes

He hums in approval
As his fingers tremulously hover
Over the big red box.

His mouth waters
Gingerly placing the heavenly morsel
Between pallet and tongue.

Eyelids close
Ecstasy in one bite
He silently thanks his love.

He chews with relish
Until an ominous crunch
Is heard and felt

He feels uneasy, queasy
He reaches, between lips parted in disgust
Finding the offensive bit of stuff

A tiny, half-chewed bone
Glistening with moistness and chocolate
Impudently showing its knobby end

"NARCISSA!" he bellows
Angst and ire
Threatening to overflow.

She comes to him
An elegant smile, draped upon her face
Pleased to see that he had opened her offering

He shows her the irksome calamity
Demanding how this could be
A show of her love for he

With calculated calm
She mentions the newness of the product
A so called 'Crunchy frog'

Turning green, as was the hapless principle ingredient
He drops to his knees
Heaving and spitting like a viper

She grins evily
Turning on her heel
Strike one, my pet, she thinks privately

He had forgotten to hide
A letter from a certain Cynthia
Extolling his virile virtuosity

And so goes Valentines day
At a certain mansion
When the lady of the house
Decides to show what her love is all about.

**Slytherin Fox** · 05-01-2009, 02:14 PM

There were two great entries for our April Fool's drabble contest! This one was from mmesnape -

Quote:

Rodolphus woke with a start. "Bella?"

Bellatrix swore as she ran past their bed. Nothing unusual, until he noticed her new head of pink hair. "Uh, oh!", he thought, returning his head to the pillow for a few more winks.

Bellatrix ran to the Malfoy's dinning room, ranting mad.

Lucius looked above his Daily Prophet, snickering as he returned to his reading.

Narcissa's eyes grew wide, a surprised "O" suspended on her lips.

Peter dove behind the sofa.

Snape kept reading, smirking humorously. He told Rat-boy to use twelve drops in her shampoo. Pity, it did wonders when used properly...

And this one was submitted by swirlheads9628 -

Quote:

Ohh!! I wonder what prize. Please tell me! Hmm, here's one! One night, a death eater came over to his best buddy and said," When is April Fouls day?" The other death eater was confused. " What?" " April Fouls!" He repeated. The other death eater put his finger up to his lips and then said," Do you mean April Fools?" The death eater nodded and then shook his head. The other death eater was really puzzled now. " Yes or no?" The death eater thought of something else. He gave the death eater a peice of paper that worte something upside down. The other death eater flipped the paper around and still don't get a clue of what his buddy was asking of doing. " What is this suppose to be? A sloppy writing or just scribbles?" The death eater laughed. The other death eater shook his head and went back home. The death eater laughed harder. The next morning, the death eater went to his bud's house and put a bucket of water and ropes and tied them into a trap. When his bud came out, he got tied up and water poured on him. " Ahhh!!!" The death eater burst out laughing from the bushes. The other death eater was really confused and everything his bud had done. A hour after, the death eater got a book called Tricks and Fools. He flipped to a page that said something about a funny trick. A trick that he was about to do. The death eater got 3 buckets of water and a long rope and a whole bunch of things.He put them in order like in the book. He hid in a tree waiting for his buddy to come out. After 30 miniutes, the door opened and his bud came out with water spilling all over him. He slid and fell on his bottom. Splash! He laid there and said," Okay, tell me what you're up to. I got enough." The death eater jumped from the tree and got out his second copy of the backwards words and brought a mirror and showed him the real words on there. The death eater said," April Fools brings Fools!"

Thanks for entering!

**Slytherin Fox** · 06-02-2009, 03:43 PM

We had lots of fabulous entries for our evil flower garden! Would you like to see each one individually? Here they are!

Swirlheads 9628 contributed the Devil's Daffodil -

along with the Voldemort Violet -

I added Poison Ivy and a Venus Flytrap -

mmesnape contributed a Hissy Flower and a fanged geranium! -

MsMorgan gave a Dangerous Daisy -

Rubb3r DuckE made this contribution -

Ginevra P contributed these two -

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

And SenoritaMaxie topped things off with these! -

[center]The Skull Lily:
{ Also known as the Water Lily of DOOM! }

+ Is a good kid.
+ Thrives in muddy water and THE!DARK.
+ Will bite ya if hungry.

When put all together, the flowers combined to make the garden -

Enjoy!

**Slytherin Fox** · 09-11-2009, 04:11 PM

Caption Contest (August 2009)

SPOILER!!: Snape, Bella and Narcissa

Entry 1

Wedding Ceremonies in the Wizarding World Get More and More Complcated Every Year

Entry 2

Narcissa: Bella wouldn't it be easier if we just joined SS?

Bella: No you must vow to love it and cherish it always.

Severus: Yes yes hurry up. I have a book to read. Do hurry up.

Entry 3

Bellatrix: Cissy, You betrayed us.. I'm crying can't you see

Narcissa: I see Bella, don't glare and don't dare..

Snape: You two, we're you talking about me?

Entry 4

Snape: Bella Music we must dance to save Draco come Narcissa cha cha with me

Entry 5

Death Eaters do the Hokey Pokey!

Snape/Sissa: You put your left arm in, you put your left arm out. You put your left arm in and you shake it all about.

Bellatrix: You want me to put my hand where?

Entry 6

Belletrix: I put a spell on you.

Snape: What's this?

Narcissa: She thinks she's an actress.

Belletrix: I am.

Entry 7 (the winner)

Narcissa: Do you think she washes her hair.

Snape: I'm not sure

Belletrix: Hey you do realise that I'm the one with the wand here.

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