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Old 11-30-2010, 10:59 PM   #26 (permalink)
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It is pretty strange that after all the bad and negative things that happened to Harry he is still beyond nice and kind to others. He's always so cheerful too. Never mean to anyone.
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Old 12-01-2010, 02:11 AM   #27 (permalink)
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interesting observation!! yes, today most people in our society would expect that Harry would in turn be a cruel, mean person; but i agree with most people here that he chose to become everything unlike the Dursley's. When one really dislikes a person or group of people, they try to be the exact opposite.

Could Lily's love saved Harry from the Dursley mess too? Quite possibly! i'd say leave that to your imagination!
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Old 12-02-2010, 01:14 AM   #28 (permalink)
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I agree with the point that because of what Harry grew up with, he should have considered that the be normal. But some people take the opposite approach, do the opposite of their parents/family. Perhaps he saw enough in other families as he was growing up, and obviously in the Weasly family that it helped him to develop a better sense for how to act.
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Old 12-06-2010, 01:22 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Well, Harry was obviously a better person than the Dursleys already before he even knew he was a wizard and first met the Weaslys. And that's saying something, as he was only eleven years old.

Yeah, I find it really amazing, that Harry turned out normal after such a terrible childhood, when he didn't have anybody to confide in or to love him. I maybe didn't expect Harry to become like the Dursleys, even though many abused children do grow up to become like their abusers. But I wouldn't have been surprised, if he would have suffered from some other mental problems, or "at least" something like a severe depression or an extremely low self-esteem, but it seems like he turned out just fine. I just have to say, "go Harry". He sure was "the Chosen One".

Last edited by Furienna; 12-15-2010 at 10:10 AM.
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Old 12-07-2010, 07:29 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Hmm...very interesting, indeed.

I think I'm going to use my parent's as an example. My father was raised very similar to Dudley; spoiled and showered with affection. My mother was raised in the same manner as Harry with the exception of the physical abuse being very extensive. My mother, somehow, turned into an incredibley affectionate person. My father, on the other hand, is very stand-offish and rather cold. I've often wondered how that could be possible, I've asked them both and the gist of what I got was this:

My mother told me that when she was a child, she used to sit and just cry and wonder what she had done wrong, what she could to make it right. She said she would feel worthless and like she didn't deserve to live. She said she felt like she was a pane of glass, that you could stand and stare at her but you would see right through her. She said she refused to make her children feel the way she felt, that my brother, sister and myself would feel important and that we mattered. She's done a wonderful job and it's hard for me to imagine that she was treated so badly. I think that she learned from that situation, that she refused to be a product of that particular enviroment.

My father said that his parents were always bothering him. They wouldn't leave him alone and that he didn't want a new bike everytime a new model came out. He said he just wanted his parents to actually say that they loved him instead of buying his affections. Ultimately, my father is the same as my grand-parents. He's got the same cold, stand-offish attitude with the penchant to buy gifts instead of telling you how he feels.

In the end, I have wonderful parents but I think it's whether you learn from your past or not. Harry didn't take the path that he, technically, should have taken...just like my mum.
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Old 01-02-2011, 06:52 AM   #31 (permalink)
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It's actually believable to me that he turned out nice. It's obvious he doesn't like the dursleys and they don't like him and they treated him very badly. He probably just didn't want to be anything like them or make other people go through what he had to. I think the Weasleys and all the other people in the wizarding world who cared about him did help too though. One thing I did notice though was that Harry seemed reluctant at times to accept help from other people, he either didn't want to worry them or prefered to do things on his own. Could that have been a result of how the Dursleys treated him as a kid?
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Old 01-16-2011, 11:57 PM   #32 (permalink)
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It's actually believable to me that he turned out nice.
Of course it's believable, that Harry turned out nice. What's unbelievable, or at least remarkable, is how well-adjusted he turned out to be in the end, despite not being loved by anyone for ten years of his childhood. I mean, that could mess anybody up. I think him going off to Hogwarts and getting friends helped him though.

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One thing I did notice though was that Harry seemed reluctant at times to accept help from other people, he either didn't want to worry them or prefered to do things on his own. Could that have been a result of how the Dursleys treated him as a kid?
It could indeed be, because he learned not to bother Aunt Petunia or Uncle Vernon, and he also learned to take care of himself from an early age. Nice observation.

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Old 01-27-2011, 02:00 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Of course it's believable, that Harry turned out nice. What's unbelievable, or at least remarkable, is how well-adjusted he turned out to be in the end, despite not being loved by anyone for ten years of his childhood. I mean, that could mess anybody up. I think him going off to Hogwarts and getting friends helped him though.
Yeah, that is pretty remarkable. I mean he had his faults of course, but not any more than most people.

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It could indeed be, because he learned not to bother Aunt Petunia or Uncle Vernon, and he also learned to take care of himself from an early age. Nice observation.
It's something that was both a good thing and a bad thing. He could take care of himself and wasn't a spoiled kid like Malfoy, but I think he was reluctant to ask for help sometimes even if he really needed it, which could be a problem at times.

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Old 03-06-2011, 11:11 PM   #34 (permalink)
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I think it is pretty amazing how good he turned out. I mean he had an awful childhood, and therefore should have had some type if psychological issues, but he doesn't seem to have any. So here is what I am wondering. Because Harry's childhood was so bad, why does he not suffer from any psychological issues?
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Old 03-10-2011, 04:14 PM   #35 (permalink)
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I think it was nessecary for Harry to be the way he is to make the stories work. If he was cold and mean he wouldn't try to protect everyone before himself (for example Sirius and the ministry in OOTP). I think he's bitter about his upbringing but possibly his mother's sacfrifice did help him more than we know...
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Old 03-11-2011, 09:11 PM   #36 (permalink)
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I think it is pretty amazing how good he turned out. I mean he had an awful childhood, and therefore should have had some type if psychological issues, but he doesn't seem to have any. So here is what I am wondering. Because Harry's childhood was so bad, why does he not suffer from any psychological issues?
I guess not everybody with a bad childhood developes psychological issues, though most people with a background like Harry's would at least need some therapy. I guess he simply was strong enough to not fall into depression over the past. It's not like he didn't have anything else to think about either. I mean, the poor kid couldn't put his foot inside Hogwarts without ending up in some trouble or some mystery. And then, there's that whole "the chosen one" thing. He had a lot of responsibility on his shoulders from a very young age. There was no time for him to dwell on his childhood, when he was fighting Voldemort. Maybe he could have developed issues later in life. I know many people get through their teenage years relatively okay, only to have anxiety or depression break out a few years after that (I was twenty years old myself). But nah, I don't think that happened to Harry. I can only say "go, Harry, go".

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Old 03-15-2011, 02:46 AM   #37 (permalink)
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He definitely had moments (in OOTP especially) where he was angsty and stuff, but to me that didn't come across as anything other than him just being a teenager. I think he turned out pretty much the best he could have in the situation he was in.
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Old 03-16-2011, 06:25 PM   #38 (permalink)
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His "moments" in OOTP were understandable considering the circumstances. He felt responsible for Cedric's death, Voldemort had gotten his body back, he had to stay with the Dursleys while the Weasleys and Hermione lived together with Sirius, Dumbledore wouldn't talk to him and didn't explain why, Umbridge took over Hogwarts, Sirius died, he found out about the prophecy. Thinking about it, that year alone could have put him over the edge. Man, that guy had an awful childhood and adolescence!
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Old 03-20-2011, 08:54 PM   #39 (permalink)
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His "moments" in OOTP were understandable considering the circumstances. He felt responsible for Cedric's death, Voldemort had gotten his body back, he had to stay with the Dursleys while the Weasleys and Hermione lived together with Sirius, Dumbledore wouldn't talk to him and didn't explain why, Umbridge took over Hogwarts, Sirius died, he found out about the prophecy. Thinking about it, that year alone could have put him over the edge. Man, that guy had an awful childhood and adolescence!
I agree. Basically all those "moments" he really did have a legitimate reason for being upset about something.
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Old 03-24-2011, 01:00 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Thanks, Furienna for answering my question. You are right, Harry really did not have time to think about his awful childhood; he had to save the world. Also, you were right again when you said that not every person who has a bad childhood will end up in therapy. Some people do have the strength to overcome their demons without the help of a therapist and I guess Harry is one of those people.
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:05 AM   #41 (permalink)
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I think it may have been the fact that he was afraid and that he disliked The Dursleys. Once he found out about his Mother's protection, I guessed he realised that he was truly loved by his Mother who laid down her life to save him, so this could have had some sort of deeper affect on him which helped him keep his good heart.
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Old 04-15-2011, 03:51 AM   #42 (permalink)
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I think it may have been the fact that he was afraid and that he disliked The Dursleys. Once he found out about his Mother's protection, I guessed he realised that he was truly loved by his Mother who laid down her life to save him, so this could have had some sort of deeper affect on him which helped him keep his good heart.
Good point. He never liked the Dursleys or was particularily attatched to them during the series. Also, from when he knew he was a wizard on he knew his parents loved him enough to die for him, so that must have helped greatly.
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Old 04-23-2011, 03:05 PM   #43 (permalink)
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I don't know. Maybe he was just mistreated that much, that he just didnt want to be like that. His instinct just told him that he was different and not to loose control.
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Old 05-01-2011, 10:54 PM   #44 (permalink)
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I don't think, if someone is mistreated as a child they automatically need to become hateful.
I completely agree with this. "Abused" does not neccisarily (sorry, that's spelled wrong) equate to "nasty and hateful". Lots of abused children grow up to lead normal lives. But this question does lead me to wonder. When Harry gets to Hogwarts, he doesn't act at all like he was an abused child. He acts like any child who dislikes their gaurdian(s).
I think the way he was raised taught him to love, because he could realize that people can't survive without love. Plus Dumbledore always tells him about the power of love, and that probably made a huge impact on his future life.
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:52 PM   #45 (permalink)
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thats an interesting thought, that he should have turned out cold i guess. However i think that he hated the Dursleys so much he in a way subconsciously forced himself to be the opposite of them. And it just happened that the opposite was nice, caring and able to love. Also i think we hav to realize that this is a fictional story and it wouldn't have been very good if our hero was as mean and evil as Draco Malfoy.
I totally agree with you about forcing himself to be opposite, but I also want to add that it is entirely possible for this to happen...
I was mistreated when I was a child and I think I turned out okay, whereas my sister turned into a bit of a 'problem'... I think it's all about what you choose to be and how you choose to react...

Another thing about abused kids, they still love their guardians and will do anything to win their affection or get some recognition... I think alot of what we see of Harry, like his 'saving people complex' as Hermione calls it, is due to the fact that he is still desperately wanting that affection and recognition. And also, now that he has finally found this place where he fits and where he gets this, I think he is terrified of losing it again...
Courage is not the absence of fear, it is just the ability to overcome it and act upon it...

Excuse me if I'm rambling... :-)

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Old 06-10-2011, 12:38 PM   #46 (permalink)
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You're not rambling at all. I would like to say though, that I don't think the difference between how different people react to the same situation isn't so much about choice as about people, even two siblings, being different.
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Old 07-18-2011, 11:25 AM   #47 (permalink)
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I think that Harry never turned out mean and nasty and cruel, because he was saved at a pivotal moment in his childhood. Transgression from child to teen is stereotypical where we see anger and hurt and resentment for these terrible childhoods. But at the stroke of his 11th birthday, Hagrid saved him. Hagrid gave him something to live for, something he eventually came to understand why his childhood was the way it was.
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Old 07-18-2011, 05:25 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Well to be honest, I think that the dursleys made it quite obvious that he was different by the way they treated him. If they had just treated him exactly the same as Dudley then maybe he would have found even more unlikely for him to be a wizard. And then the dursleys would have had a better defence (I mean that they could have dented him to be a wizard and there might have been a chance that Harry would believe them.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:18 PM   #49 (permalink)
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That's part of the reason why I love Harry. He is such an amazing person and didn't make his childhood take over him.

I think that his mother's sacrifice and love helped Harry to overcome certain things. Also, I think it's also part of the person he is. He is naturally nice, genuine, and grateful.
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Old 07-21-2011, 05:24 AM   #50 (permalink)
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I think it's because he knows there is something better out there and he sees treating those who are mean to him are not worth it.
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