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Shethan · 01-08-2005, 12:13 AM

Hey there!

I've written this piece here ages ago ...

The Demon

Like my hopes left and drowned me
Like a life sunken in the sea
Sad and sunken in the sea
And everything I ever tried
And wanted to be
Is now a sad and sunken life
In the depths of the deep blue sea.

Down there in the ocean
Is a sunken ship of dreams
With a forgotten demon
Praying on his knees
There he cries, the lonely demon
He cries for him, and you, and me
He is the gap for all our pain
But what are teardrops to the sea?

Loving, lonely, praying demon
With his knees down on the ground
Praying long forgotten demon
With his knees down on the ground
Everything you've ever found
Is the meaning of your needs that drown
And everything you'll ever be is a soul that does not count.

And every human being has to die
Seeing in the demon’s eye
Every human being seeing the demon's crying eye
Is supposed to walk away and die
What an eye?

What are those lonely demon’s feelings?
With his crying eye, what is he seeing?
Does his soul with all it's power cry
Because of eyes that are seeing?
Does this powerful demon being
Drown because his soul is dreaming?

Long abandoned demon being
What are you seeing?
What are you seeing?

I see the world
It's little meaning
It's jealousy
It's hate
It's pain of being.
I see myself
I see the truth!
But in the darkness of a sunken ship of dreams
There is just dreaming
There is just seeming,
But there's no god ****ed place for deeper meaning!

Please review! ^^
Shethan

kuru01 · 01-24-2005, 02:15 AM

I think your poem is great, but this lines look redundant...

Quote:

Like a life sunken in the sea
Sad and sunken in the sea

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