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| | Finished Poetry Finished poetry threads come here to rest and be remembered. |
12-27-2003, 10:27 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Crup
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA
Posts: 2,241
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Lucky As It Is,Its Cho.
A day on the pitch,
was Harrys lucky day,
he would find true love,
that very May.
At first it was a crush,
His secret was very hush.
It turned into friendship
He soon liked her very much.
Then it was a rejection,
he lost her affection.
And soon it was a date.
He knew it was fate.
As lucky as it is,thats Cho.
He could share all that
His path in life is was so.
It was where he would go.
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12-27-2003, 11:43 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Doxy
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: trinidad
Posts: 448
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excellent bit of peotry!!
__________________ life is not a spectator sport!!! |
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12-27-2003, 11:44 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Ashwinder
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: United States
Posts: 1,560
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Wassup,
Cool poem, all of my poems are about harry potter so maybe you would like to check them out. You might want to check out Blair Avatars poems too. We're all in Ravenclaw.
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12-28-2003, 12:50 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Crup
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA
Posts: 2,241
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Thanks...I seen yours.They are wonderful!Well here is the next one I thought up....its way darker...more of a 5th book thing.
You Would Not Understand.
You will never know,
the pain that I have suffered.
The sadness,and the anger,
that I have hid and covered.
You will never see,
the tears that are not visable,
the weaping that I hide,
with laughter and childish giggles.
You will never understand,
the boy that lived,
Is unhppy and sad.
that I will one day,
un-cover those feelings,
that I will one day,
make you know,see,
understand me.
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12-28-2003, 03:29 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Ashwinder
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: United States
Posts: 1,560
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cool poem
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12-28-2003, 07:56 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Crup
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA
Posts: 2,241
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Thanks!Heres the next one....
I dont want it!
Get rid of this scar,
for it pushed my temper to far.
People always staring,
As if they where really caring.
It makes me tired,
to keep pushing these bangs.
Why cant I have gold eyes
Or maybe some fangs.
But the worst thing of all,
is the memorys that fall.
The screaming and yelling,
The hooded figure so tall.
So if I had one wish,
I would take this away,
the one thing that depresses me.
This scar that will always stay.
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12-28-2003, 09:40 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Ghoul
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 595
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i really like the one u just posted!!! itz great!! ur other ones are great to!
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12-28-2003, 09:50 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Ashwinder
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: United States
Posts: 1,560
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That last poem you posted is really cool
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12-28-2003, 09:57 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Crup
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA
Posts: 2,241
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Thanks!
He Was Like James
Did you ever think,
that this young boy,
would be so much like James?
With the Jetblack hair,
Breaking the rules without a care,
And the never ending fame?
Did you think his heart,
so pure,
would change becuase of death?
Because this young boy,
much like James,
has a life of the best.
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12-28-2003, 10:34 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Ashwinder
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: United States
Posts: 1,560
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cool poem |
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12-28-2003, 10:45 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Crup
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA
Posts: 2,241
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Short...O.K writers block..I think you might have to wait for the next one!
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12-28-2003, 10:54 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Ghoul
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 595
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great!! u r very talented!! i hate writers block!!
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12-28-2003, 11:29 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Ashwinder
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: United States
Posts: 1,560
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I hate writers block too
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12-29-2003, 12:42 AM
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#14 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 166
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You've written some excellent stuff so far, but try mixing up your format and spacing a little bit, it can really make things interesting. For example, I wrote one peom that had only a couple of words per line, and I wrote another one that didn't have any lines at all.
And don't be afraid to not rhyme... sometimes it's better that way, just because it feels more heartfelt and natural, as opposed to scrambling around, trying to find something to rhyme. I know I'm probably pretty hypocritical when I say that, because all of my stuff rhymes, but I'm working on that.
If it sounds like I don't think it's great, I don't mean it that way. In fact, the only reason I took the time to say all that is because I really think that your work is especially good. Feel free to tell me the *absolute* truth about my work too, but beware, it's pretty dark and somewhat disturbing.
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12-29-2003, 03:19 AM
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#15 (permalink)
| | Crup
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA
Posts: 2,241
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Thanks for the advice.My spacing messed up because of my keybaord...as soon as I fix it I will fix the poems!Thanks agian!
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12-29-2003, 03:22 AM
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#16 (permalink)
| | Troll
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: garden state
Posts: 4,894
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You.....................................Rock! :music_band:
__________________ every me & every you |
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12-30-2003, 04:33 PM
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#17 (permalink)
| | Ashwinder
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: United States
Posts: 1,560
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keep it up
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01-02-2004, 05:10 PM
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#18 (permalink)
| | Crup
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA
Posts: 2,241
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o.K Im here!
This is the part where someone writes their own poetry here..like a line or so and I add on. |
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