I want to thank all of you for your incredibly sweet comments since my last post. I intended to respond to each comment, and then I got distracted, and now it's time to post again. I'm so honored by your comments and praise, and I know that really, I don't care what they say! Maybe you're supposed to write for yourself, but it sure as heck helps to have a great audience like you guys.

Thanks for being patient. I really do want to finish this, so keep the love and support coming, and I'll keep the posts coming.

OH YEAH! 500th POST!




Remus was pacing the distance between two trees, and Tonks found she was surprised he hadn’t just run off. He jerked his head in the direction furthest from the house and started walking, leaving her to catch up. It was lucky she was in top physical condition from all that Auror training! Tonks scurried along behind him, only tripping over a tree root and nearly falling once.

“Remus! Rem-“ She ran into his back and toppled into a drift of snow. Graceful. “I didn’t ask them to do that. Please just stop being so angry. I’d like to talk to you.” She was a pitiful sight, her rear end sunk deep in the snow and growing wetter by the second. “Can you help me up?”

He bit his lip and studied her. What was he thinking? Was he thinking that it was easier to be mad than to put up with the insane crush of a clumsy Auror? Was he thinking that she had asked them to trick him into coming? Maybe he thought she was going to be some pathetic stalker who followed him around and set her schedule by him. As if her pride wasn’t hurt enough, and to have him believe those things on top of that…

The twinkle in his eye gave him away. It wasn’t any of those thoughts racing through his head - he was biting his lip to keep from laughing at her. “I’ll thank you not to make fun of me,” Tonks grumbled as she attempted to dig herself out of the snow. It was slick work, only made worse as her numb fingers dug for purchase.

She pointedly ignored his offered hand. “Tonks, don’t be stubborn. Let me help you.” Oh… that man! She could hear the laughter in his voice now.

“I. Can. Do it. Myself,” Tonks grunted as she grabbed at a sapling and hauled herself up. “I don’t need your HELP, Remus,” her indignant speech was cut short as the sapling unloaded its mass of snow right onto their heads. She wiped her eyes clear and peeked at him sheepishly. “Are you mad? Still? Again?”

He shook himself clean like a dog, and she wondered at the odd grace of that motion. “No, Tonks. I find that my anger has… cooled off somewhat.” He quirked a smile at her, and she giggled nervously. What should she say now? Maybe something witty, because he’d said something witty. What would be witty? A joke about snow, perhaps. Snow… ice… cold… her mind was blank.

“My bum is wet.” Oh, brilliant. Her witty comment was about the soggy state of her rear? She’d have to be sure to never tell anyone about this moment. Not even herself. She’d Obliviate herself at first opportunity.

“Ah… yes. Perhaps if we got back to walking, you’d find yourself a bit warmer,” Remus offered his arm to her, his face working hard not to laugh. “How is the job?”

“You mean my post as permanent babysitter to Wizarding Great Britain’s population of young and often ill-mannered offspring?” She put her hand on his arm and felt like a lady. “Or perhaps you were referring to the way the boys at The Scup think I’m their live-in housekeeper and cook just because I’m a witch?”

“They’re idiots,” Remus said bracingly, and Tonks rewarded him with a smile. “I’ve tasted your cooking. They’ll be dead in a week.”

She glared at him playfully. “Shut up, you. Those biscuits made really excellent stones when we had to strengthen the basement wall against leakage. Molly said I was very clever to use flour like that.”

“You intended to make biscuit-shaped rocks?” He did laugh at that, and every bit of her turned warm and tingly to hear him laugh again. Were they friends now? So fast?

“It’s my master plan. If I make food that not even Hagrid can stomach, they’ll stop asking me to cook,” Tonks gave a shrug, and Remus laughed again. “Let’s not talk about my job. It’s the same each day, and I feel guilty wishing for something to happen. Have they found you a job at the Ministry?”

There was an odd play of emotions across his face, and Remus started walking. He automatically tucked her arm deeper into his elbow and held it in place with his own warm hand. Tonks suppressed a little sigh of delight.

“The truth is…” He cleared his throat and looked at her with a flat, careful expression. “The truth is that I’m doing a bit of work for the Order.”

“Are you? That’s grand. What’s Dumbledore got you off doing, then?” She was pleased for him. Remus had such talents, and the children had spoken fondly of his time as their teacher. He should be out doing great things in the world, not stuck in rags and idiot jobs because of something beyond his control.

He licked his lips, looking nervous, and Tonks wanted to smooth the little wrinkle from his forehead. What was he so anxious about? “I’m acting as an ambassador, actually.” He saw her open her mouth to speak, her eyes alight with excitement. “To the werewolves. I’ve been living with the werewolves.”

Tonks stopped in the middle of the path to look at his face. The moon was bright tonight, too bright to be comfortable considering it indicated a nearly full moon. “You mean the ones who live outside of our society?”

“To put a finer point on it, they have their own society,” his voice took on that dry, lecturing professor tone that meant he was being difficult. “A society with its own laws and hierarchy of leadership. I doubt they’d appreciate the implication that they are a lawless band of animals.”

It couldn’t have been plainer that Remus considered them to be exactly that, and Tonks slid her hand from his elbow down to clutch his wrist. She was frightened for him, and most of her fear came from that guarded look on his face. He had to know how dangerous it was, but there was something in him that wanted to protect her from it. Maybe that meant something deeper, but she was too concerned to pin her hopes on it.

“But some of them do purposefully infect people, right? I’ve heard that before. And they… turn on their own. Punish those werewolves that don’t live by the laws they’ve set.” Her hand slid from his wrist to grip his warm fingers tightly. Funny how her hand looked so odd and small in his bigger one. They fit like pieces of a jigsaw. “You’re not one of them,” she whispered, her eyes intent on those interlocking fingers.

“No? I live with them, and I hunt with them at the full moon,” his voice had gone faint, and Remus cleared his throat. “It’s a job, Tonks. I won’t worry about you fighting the Death Eaters, and you don’t need to worry about me working with the werewolves.”

Tonks raised her eyes to take him in and found that Remus was remarkably close. “Do you worry about me fighting the Death Eaters?” Was she breathing too much? Merlin, why did she hear so much of her own breathing all of a sudden? Stop breathing!

“You know I worry,” Remus’s voice went low and purry, and Tonks shivered. With a start, he raised his head. “Anyone would worry about a dear jolly friend in danger like that. Dear friend. And jolly.”

“I worry about you too,” Tonks took up his other hand too, pressing it against her cold, wet cheek. So warm. “I love you, Remus.” And it was just… there.

A flash of panic and then defeat flickered in his gentle eyes, before Remus stroked along her cheekbone with his thumb. “I know.”

It felt like a small eternity as Tonks waited for him to add to that, but he was silent. “I think maybe you love me too?” It was a question and an offer and a quiet plea for mercy.

“I think maybe I do,” he admitted before leaning down and giving the corner of her mouth a gentle kiss. “But let’s not do this.”

“Do what?” The world was a floaty pretty cloud. Tonks was light and lovely, and she was in love. What was he on about? No more talking. More kissing. She tilted her head back like the heroine in a Muggle movie, waiting for her happy ending kiss. It didn’t come. “Do what?” she said again.

“Don’t you listen, Tonks? I’ve told you before, and I haven’t changed my mind on this. It won’t work. If not for the fact that you refuse to see the world the way it really is and refuse to see me the way I really am, then at least acknowledge that it won’t work because there’s a war going on and we’re in the middle of fighting it.” He hadn’t moved away from her, but his voice was as brittle as an icicle.

“Idiot,” Tonks let one of his hands go and wrapped it in the front of his robes. “I see you and the world perfectly clearly. You’re so blinded by being a werewolf and listening to everyone tell you that you aren’t worthy… I find you worthy. And the war… if we want to, we can figure out a way to make it work.”

“What if I don’t want to make it work?” His face matched his voice now, and he put his hand on hers to unwrap her fingers. “I’m a monster, child. You have caught me in your spell of youth and innocence to be sure, but I’ll be man enough not to stay there.”

Tonks voice broke in a sob. Why was he always making her cry? “Are you quite through?” She tugged sharply on his robes, drawing herself up to kiss him. It was a fierce kiss, full of anger and remorse and even a bit of love. She drew away and shoved him hard in the stomach.

“Don’t you dare leave, Remus Lupin. I’ve been watching you walk away from me for months now. Today, I get to turn my back on you first.” She peeled off the ugly cloak and threw it at his head. His face, bewildered and pained, was the last thing she saw before she disapparated in an angry whirl.

I already quoted my favorite bits for you but, I wanted to put it in 'permanent writing' that I found that post to be fabulous.

An update! yay!

Quote:

“My bum is wet.” Oh, brilliant. Her witty comment was about the soggy state of her rear?

I literally laughed out loud when I read that.

Good for Tonks for sticking up for herself! Remus is an idiot.

I loved it Ern! I can't wait for me.

You should know I nearly wet myself when one of the more superiorly (for lack of a better term) written fics that I've subscribed to was updated.

Yay! New post! And I totally knew I had two to read. Ern knows I like to be behind just a little anyway.

I so missed this fic!

I relate to that feeling. *hugs*

Very formidable! Who could win against that?

Surprise! I bet! (not really)

I want a Molly sweater.

haha Of course it was a set up.

I noticed the difference in cups. Probably wise this way.

Great description.

So sneaky. Love it.

Good one! That should hit home.

We can only hope!


I am soooooooooooooooo happy to see you writing again Ern! Love the update and am pondering do I wait on the next one, or read right away?

Quote:

“I’m a monster, child. You have caught me in your spell of youth and innocence to be sure, but I’ll be man enough not to stay there.”

OMG! I almost wished she'd slapped him then! But your version was better I LOVE it! LoVe! Looooooooooooove! You get the point

Apart from having a talent for humor...you're awesome at the emotion driven writing

Ern is FF Queen

And now for update number two (which means there needs to be a new one soon )


Poor Tonks! Only she can be in a serious conversation like this with her butt all wet. Love her.

Aw. I don't think he's laughing at her. affectionate amusement is more like it.

Love her even more.

That's a good tactic to get out of cooking.

'Zactly my point.

I know.

Impossible.

...


I love that image. Picturing Scarlett O'Hara waiting for the kiss that Rhett doesn't give her.

Please may I smack him upside the head now?

He did deserve this though. *sigh*

Loved the updates Ms Ern, Queen of FanFic (in agreement with Linda Hagrid).

I know this is kinda against the rules but, if you're looking for more Ern writings to tide you over until the next Shades update, make sure you check out All Fall Down - Sa9+. Erin's recently posted a new Hannah update (with a Theodore to follow soon).

Cool link, thanks Kris & Ern. The writing of other is excellent.

You know I'm the sorriest friend you have when it comes to posting. I've read the story up to this point and love it. I love the way you have interpreted Tonks. She's not an easy character to get your teeth into becasuse so little is know about her. JK need to devote a whole book to Tonks and her life. If you decide to continue with Deathly Hollows. I want dibbs on Remus. Kris says I should try a fan fic, and you know me. I'm always in need of guidence.

Post soon...?

SPAM! Erm, I mean PAMS!

I'm bored. Entertain me with a post.

Wahahahahaha!

Sincerely, love this fic and it's author. Can't wait for more.

Because I hope to post soon, I'll do a response post now while I can .

You know... Tonks is so funny in my head. I laugh when I'm writing it, and then I go back and wonder if it turned out as funny as the scene was. I'm glad it made you laugh too. And yes... I'm glad Tonks finally got her say.

Thanks, bud! I appreciate the praise, and I hope to update soon for your enjoyment.

I missed it too! Now I just have to stay motivated to write.

I think Tonks notices these things too, but she's far too nice to call anyone on it.

Sneaky? Andromeda would hate to be called sneaky. Strategic, perhaps. What her darling wants, she gets.

If your bum is wet, it just is, and you can't NOT have a serious conversation just because of something small like that.

Do it, please!

Thanks, darling, and thank you for reading! I really wanted Tonks to hit him too, but she ultimately was just too shocked to react that way.

I can't be mad you didn't read sooner simply because you didn't know about this FF . At this point, I"m not planning to write Tonks in DH (this was just going to be Year 6), so Remus might be free for you .



And... I SHALL post soon. I promise.

Thanks for your patience. This bit got totally away from me, considering I didn't even know Andromeda was IN this chapter. But she is. She's BOSSY, man, and she wants her own fic. Stay tuned to the end for the opportunity to direct the next chapter.




Perhaps a sane person would have felt nothing but hatred for Remus after their scene in the Weasley’s backyard. After all, if she was angry enough to throw things at his fat fussy head and storm off, she should be angry enough to stop loving him. Surely anger and love couldn’t coexist within one small person.

Ah, but it did. Tonks was still so mad at Remus for the things he’d said to her, and she was still completely and hopelessly head over heels for him. Idiot. Both of them, actually, could be considered idiots, and she mentally hexed herself a few new soul bruises every time she considered that day.

And then… and then there was the fact that Remus had admitted he loved her. That part made her feel less like an idiot and more like she had her own little herd of butterflies taking up residence in her stomach. Herd? What did one call a large number of butterflies? Regardless, when she remembered that he loved her, and the way he’d looked at her for a moment, and the brush of mouth and nose across her cheek… well, she was just a different sort of idiot. An idiot for love was what she was.

She’d escaped back to her flat as soon as she left Remus, changed into her rattiest pair of pajamas, and climbed under the afghan on her sofa with a large mug of cocoa laced with something bracing. It took even less time than she would have guessed before there was a knock at her door. What was a really good sulk without her mother there to ruin it with her fussing and plans?

Tonks rolled over and pressed her face against the couch, pretending she didn’t hear the polite knocking that was getting louder by the moment. Blast! Did she need to hang up a sign that said ‘I’d like to sulk for a while. Please call again tomorrow’?

“If you don’t stop sulking, Dora, I shall be forced to blast down your door,” Andromeda said wryly, right through the thick wood. Tonks could picture her carefully pulling off one white glove after the other before breaking down the door, and she decided it was time to get up. Was that woman a mind reader? It wouldn’t surprise Tonks in the least, considering all the times in her childhood that Andromeda had managed to know exactly what sort of trouble her daughter had been up to.

The daughter in question answered the door by jerking it open with colorful language that would have made even old Savage blush. “Mother! You’ll disturb my neighbors and they’ll toss me out of here.”

“I’m not the one shouting vile things in the middle of the night,” she slid past Tonks, giving her shabby pajamas a long unreadable look. “You were quite rude this evening, Dora. I expect you to make amends to Molly immediately tomorrow. The poor dear was positively beside herself when Remus returned the cloak and refused to tell us what happened.” Her silence stretched out thin and taut between the two of them.

Tonks licked her lips and settled on the couch with her afghan and mug again. “We had a fight,” she offered, feeling something tighten first in her stomach and then in her throat. Do. Not. Cry. The orders were very strict, and she obeyed as only an Auror could.

“Lovers’ spat,” Andromeda waved it off as she studied the flat. She had that same unreadable expression on her face, and Tonks sighed.

“I’m not hiding villains in the curtains, Mother. Please sit down,” she gestured at a plushy love seat squashed in between two end tables that brimmed with old mail and half darned socks.

“There’s some of that good breeding,” Andromeda seated herself gracefully. “So, tell us about your spat.” Tonks loathed it when her mother started to speak of herself in plural.

The threads on the afghan seemed to be coming loose, and Tonks pleated them with her fingers. “It was a fight, Mum. I threw my cloak at his head and left him in the garden.” That was as much as she wanted to tell her, but Tonks was certain she’d end up telling the whole story. Mothers were so good at making you talk. It was a wonder the Department of Magical Law Enforcement hadn’t employed a fleet of mothers years ago for interrogation.

“Very good,” Andromeda gave a pert nod. “A lady always leaves a gentleman wanting more. And did you kiss him twice as I told you?”

Tonks felt the blush start in her neck and slide up to her cheeks. “I did,” she admitted. “Well, he kissed me once, and I…” She’d mauled him, really, and she wondered if she’d hurt him with that nasty grab and kiss move. The inside of her own lip was raw from where she’d bitten herself during the angry kiss. “I kissed him once,” she admitted very quietly.

Andromeda was fussing with her gloves, but Tonks knew she had every bit of her attention. “He’s confused, dear heart. My friends at the Ministry tell me that he’d had to live almost all of his life outside of society, and he can’t possibly understand why a lovely girl like you would be interested. We’ll just give him time, shall we?”

“I think he’s lovely,” Tonks said miserably before scrubbing at her eyes. No tears yet, but she could tell they were on their way. It would be so mortifying to lose control and bawl in front of her mother, the queen of all restraint. “He said he loves me too,” she said with a slight hiccup.

“There, I told you,” Andromeda rose and dropped a kiss on Tonks’ forehead before pulling the mug from her hands. She lifted the aghan and snapped it in the air a few times before tucking it around where Tonks lay on her couch. “It was a spat, my Dora. He is stubborn, but you are more so. He is already yours, so now we will just wait for him to realize it.”

“How long will that take?” Tonks yawned and watched her mother turn out all her lights before moving to the door.

“I’m not a Seer, Dora. Your father wants you round for dinner at the end of the week, and I’ll expect you to have spoken with Molly by then. Go to sleep,” she shut the door firmly behind her, and Tonks obeyed like a good little Auror.




So... for the next chapter... shall I skip to the next canon bit, or do you want to see Tonks' trip to Molly's?

I definitely want to see Molly in action. Since she's a champion of the Remus/Tonks love in the books, it would be nice to see her coaching Tonks on how to capture Remus's heart. Love the new post. Everytime I read one of your post, I find myself wondering how Remus would react. I'd love to know what he's thinking. Have Molly talk to Remus before Tonk comes and talks to her. It would be interesting to have Molly convey his feeling to Tonks.

There will be absolutely no skipping of anything. Unless of course it means more posts. Which are getting better and better, I might unabashedly add.

tee hee I love Andromeda. She's so Black.

Anyway, I'd like to see Molly and Tonks because Molly is such a hoot and, like others have said, it will probably mean more posts.

Mmhmm... I so love this...

Write more sooooooon

Outstanding post. I enjoyed every word of it three times before writing this. I love the phrase "a herd of butterflies" and the last line of that paragraph "An idiot for love was what she was." I rarely like romance but you have me hooked on Tonks and Remus.

Quote:

“I’m not the one shouting vile things in the middle of the night,”

I LOVE THIS LINE! It's kinda the Andromeda version of every mother's struggle with the swearing

And most definitely! Molly's visit must be done! Even if it means you may have to toe the line of copywrite

O_o Did I miss a post somehow? Hm.

Be back laters for the quotes. *loves*

I laughed so hard at this line, it's so true!

I'm finally caught up on the fic, sorry it took so long to post. There's too many quotes to quote and Lissy does such a wonderful job picking all my favorites I'm still in LOVE with this story though, my little shipper heart squeals with every mention of Remus *pokes it*

this is so good!
prob my favorite ff ever!

Since I hope to post soon, I'm going to do the quotey bits now.

I don't know if I can live up to that expectation, considering my Remus is fairly reserved and unlikely to share his feelings. I guess you'll have to wait and see what Molly has to say.

You win! I won't skip anything, and I appreciate your praise. I hope the posts only get even better.

I would love to see a really well written fic about the romance between Ted and Andromeda because I bet it would be fascinating.

Thanks for putting up with my conversations with myself in a French accent for "research".

Thank you! Hope you like the next part too.

I love the quotes you picked out too. Thanks for reading so thoroughly (three times!?!) and I hope to convert you to the romance side yet.

I believe that if I acknowledge my source, I'm fine. HALF BLOOD PRINCE. HALF BLOOD PRINCE. Hehe. And this would be a made up conversation anyway... something from my dark mind.

I always try to imagine how things would translate to the Wizarding world. Like... common phrases and sayings of wisdom and analogies and such.

You never came back

Don't you wish he weren't being such a pain so we could see more of him??

Thanks! I'm glad you're reading, and I hope to post soon.

I always come back. Sometimes faster then others. Trust me. I'd never miss a thing