My Madcap Romance ... or Sgt. Ottery's Lonely Heart's Club Band on the run
~A seriously wicked romance~Featuring all those things your parents never warned you about love

Where to find love, if not in the city of love, Venice Paris ...

He was sitting outside of a cafe, the dark haired boy, reading the Paris Match, and sipping his coffee. It wasn't Starbucks but ... well, when in Paris do as the Parisians, non? A vespa drove by, and he caught sight of a boy riding, a girl holding onto his back whispering in his ear, her scarf trailing behind her as if a hand spreading the scent of her soft perfume, which tickled the boy's nose. It was love, is what it was.

But some people weren't meant for love, he thought, thinking of himself, and turned back to his magazine.

Obviously, no love there ... let's move on then to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry *slightly altered to suit Ottery's fic writing nonsenses*

It was a warm summer's afternoon, as a cold rain came down over the almost empty castle. Almost empty because ... well people were in it. Anyways, the headmaster Dumbledore was walking over the school grounds, accompanied by the school's headmistress. He inspecting the whole school before the other staff arrived to prepare for another term, and she running down the list of things that would likely arise, or need changing about the school or the staff. Minerva's job was to warn Dumbledore to keep him from any sudden surprises.

But old people are boring ... so ... meanwhile at the Burrow ...

It was raining there as well. It seemed it would be the summer of rains. Ron sat in his room his head resting on the windowsill watching the raindrops falling. Harry was supposed to be coming to stay, and Hermione too, and he missed them. It had been a boring three weeks since the end of term, and he thought he was going to die of sheer boredom. The twins were busy with some new scheme or other, and Ginny was always over at her friend Luna's house. Folding laundry with his mum was beginning to sound exciting, he'd written as much in the last letter to his friends. He needed rescuing and fast.

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Like the siggy at the top? Then click it and go get one. By Allie of Gwen & Allie's Graphic's. Tell 'em Ottery sent ya!

So I gave myself five stars cuz I totally rock ... But I think I'm going to rewrite the whole beginning

EDIT: Okay so uhm, what should I do with this space now?

This Space For Rent!

Ottery ♥'s LissyLove

First to post!! Hello, name is Ashlyn. Aww. Don't do that!! I loved the beginning!! PAMS!!!

Otty! Are you back on SS?
Nice start, I liked the way you set it out.


The beginning wasn't bad at all, quite good actually.

I have read alot of your stuff and I really like all of it. You're really great at this stuff. I really enjoy reading it. please write more!

My love, that is a very nice beginning. I'm glad I caught this one early, because now I can stick with it all the way through! *giggles* I'm shocking otherwise...
*tackle glomps* I love you heaps, my gorgeous boy...
*huggles and kisses*
ShanShan
PS. I'm posting the rest of you request today. Finally. *blushes* I know...it's only centuries late...

Yet another fanfic by Ottery St. Catchpole? You're outdoing yourself. Love the title by the way. And, oh yeah, I miss you.

*tear* Everybody's meant for love.

*volunteers in a heartbeat* Have I mentioned I'm in love with Ron?

Love you. Love Ron. Love it. Post more. Miss you. Te adoro always, mi nutria sola.

Shannon

Hey Otts this is kool,,,,,
Paris.......... eh............. Romantic!!!!!
and Ron........ even more romantic******
Keep it going..............


PAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Sarah*

Here she comes! Miss ... er ... um ... Kimmi.

It's true. It is I, the wonderful, the amazing, Kimmi! I can't believe you squeezed a fic in and I almost didn't know about it. Scary. But have to no fear. I am here to stay. (or as long as I have interenet and after August, that's iffy) I loved the start but I will wait for your next post before any lovely line by lines. yay for otts.

hehe, just for you, you Ron lover, you. But remember, he caught it in the end. and that, cuz I like the bouncy pirate. Can't wait for more and to see how mixed up I get before the end.


And when I finally am not mixed up we'll have a big party.

lol. Kimmi, I'm there for the party! And don't you just love the new emoticons? *sighs with content*
Love you, my dearest Ottery. Hope you return to us with a charming-and-totally-awesome post as usual soon...
Miss you heaps!
*kisses and huggles and Rupert and Ron*
ShanShan

Goo'day kids. Ottery'd like to thank y'all for your patience ... but first a few hellos.

harrypottersummer Ashlyn, thank you for being the first to post ... and saying sweetness, you asked for it so I won't do it. Leave the beginning as it is Its nice to meet you, I'm Ottery hope you stick around.

Ali Ahehehehehe *nervous laughter* I swear I'm still reading your fic, just keep forgetting to stop there I'm totally back on SS and thank you ... I thought I'd go in another direction but why not? Always can kill of a character or three

flufighter7 ZOMG! Wow. You've read others of my story and you want me to write more? Why? I mean you did read them right? I'm just kidding, thank you I'm very flattered.

padfoot_88 Shan-Shan WTF??!! You take ten years to complete my short and you think you can come here and you can just say you love me heaps and *runningcryingmadglompswithsmoochies* I love you heaps too, and after your e-mail I love you heaps more I'll write you back soon, promise, I suck I know I'm sorry. I'll go finish reading my request.

r+h4ever1 *singing* Well hello, Shannon, it's nice to have you back where you belong ... Didn't know I could do Louis Armstrong didya?

angeline_fire Will do Sarah, consequently the cutest girl in the world has that name *is talking about his niece* Oh yes, I picked it because it's my favorite name of all time so when I was a kid I had this crush on a redhead girl named Sarah and ... All righty then, I'm sure you all wanted backstory I'm glad you're here Sarah

lvckimmi Kimmi, you don't read enough of my stories you want to read more? LOL You're beyond sweetness *madglompswithchocolate* You are too too kind So kind in fact that you're making me cry *Ottery is an emotional sap* It's not enough you're confused with The Stuff of Dreams, you come here ... I think I'm going to put Leonce and Liam in this story too ... don't worry I'll post a character and notes post on the Lj so you can keep track Kimmi

padfoot_88 Shan-Shan, you again *madglomps with smoochies* But only this time loves, stop spamming that's what the EDIT button is for.

Things you should know about Ottery: He's lazy (Sorry kids, I'm not updating everyday like with the old fics ... I'm too old *coughwheeze*), He's a Liberaterian Marxist Fascist (them's my politics, and you'll see 'em in my story), Ottery's so conservative, he's a liberal (Shocking I know), and he loves everyone (except Professor Snape & Umbridge) so if y'all can live with that then let's move on. If you can't don't bother commenting and don't let the door hit ya ...

OH MY GOSH ANOTHER OTTERY SPECIALTY! LOVE IT SOOO FAR! OMGOMGOMG YESSSS *plots*

Once upon a time … (because I always wanted to start a story that way)… there lived a dark haired boy, who had a perpetually broken heart. But in spite of that, he would smile and trod bravely on with life. Now it happened that he attended a school of magic, Hogwarts, in a dark time – in the midst of a wizarding war where he fought alongside the heroes of the fight, until the end of this adventure. But we’ll come to him in a long bit. Have patience. Let’s go back to loveless in France.

Ottery♥'s

Hey Si ... plotting indeed ... you always get your own post dontcha?

I'm a diva what do you expect?

I love you <3

Prelude to the Prologue to the Prelude to Chapter One: One less bell to answer ...

Le Café Triste a Paris

He couldn’t get the girl on the Vespa out of his mind. How happy she had looked, how carefree and young. Obviously a muggle. Didn’t they know a great evil was set loose upon the world, plotting their very demise? Clearly not or she wouldn’t have gone out riding with her petit amie through the streets of Paris. He drank his coffee and wished he could be as carefree, but he was on assignment for the OLB. There were rumors that the vampire clans were interested in joining sides with the Dark Lord. Likely they thought they could squash the werewolf clans in Paris and take control of the city again as they’d had it for hundreds of years before, instead of the steady truce that now lingered.

The werewolf clans were no different, they were interested in siding with the Dark Lord for the same reason, and Voldemort would use them both to his evil ends in waging a war against wizard kind. Politics always gave Ottery a headache. The Ministry of Magic officials were so busy safeguarding themselves they’d forgotten that the giants, and the werewolves, and the vampires lived outside of Britain – former allies of the Dark Lord.

Still the birds twittered, two rows of schoolgirls holding hands, dressed in blue dresses led by nuns on a tour of the city walked past, and two old gentlemen played chess and argued literature in French a few seats away.

Paris really was lovely, happy and sweet. He remembered it was different during the occupation and he wondered if the Dark Lord took it, would it be any different than it had been under the Nazis.

“You’re daydreaming again,” the girl said as she walked from behind him around to the empty seat across the little round table by the street.

“Bonjour,” the dark haired boy said.

The frizzy haired girl looked at him smiling and sat down, putting her book down on the table. Her being in France was not part of the plan, and was becoming a part of the problem. But how to deal with it tactfully?

“Hermione, you’ve got to leave Paris and go back home, right now,” Ottery said without preamble.

The garcon walked up and in perfect French Hermione ordered herself mint tea and cookies. Before she could pay, Ottery had asked the waiter to put it on his tab.

“How chivalrous,” she said, “But I can—”

“Save your money for your trip back, Hermione. It’s not safe to be here right now,” the boy said cryptically.

“I’m going soon. Ron invited Harry and me to spend the summer at the Burrow,” she said. “But my parents want to spend some time with me, too, you know. They feel they’re losing me to the magical world and …” a look of painful realization dawned on her. She was growing up and they were losing her, the little frizzy haired, know-it-all who loved to read, and had once wanted to see the whole world. Slipping from their grasps like so much vapor … she was growing up, and growing away.

But that was the way of life, Ottery knew. Everyone had to grow up sometime, and the bitter irony caught at his throat and he had to take a drink of his coffee. Damn but he wanted a banana split coffee concoction from his old coffee house back home. He missed Ron, too, but … he hadn’t gotten any owl inviting him. He didn’t know how rightly to feel about that. Growing apart was a part of life, too. One that hurt. Come to think on it, did everything about life have to hurt?

Ottery ♥'s Ron & Si is a Diva ♥

Ottery ♥'s his Diva's You get a whole other post just to yourself Si, then I'm really going to bed *lying* You're too cute ... and I've missed you, but ... I haven't been myself ... I think ... until now.

Awww and the Diva loves Ottery. I've missed you terribly.


I love how you've got the setting just right. France is a beautiful place and I'm glad to see it portrayed in such a way in this story. Vespas are great.
MADELINE! I LOVE MADELINE!

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Ottery ♥'s Ron & Si is a Diva ♥

YEAH BUDDY! TELL IT LIKE IT IS!

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r+h4ever1 *singing* Well hello, Shannon, it's nice to have you back where you belong ... Didn't know I could do Louis Armstrong didya?

*singing back* "Here's my hat, fella. I'm stayin' where I'm at, fella. Shannon'll never go away again!" Just glad to be back, Ottery. *glomps* I have missed you. (Do a Frank Sinatra, and I'll be really impressed! Lol.)

You're a genius! Now I'm hooked!

Oh that's so sad. But, in a way, brave of him.

*sigh* I miss your writing. Ottery used the word loveless and France in the same sentence...I'm riveted.

It's hard not to.

Hey Si!

More soon, please.

And remember, te adoro, mi nutria sola. Always.

Shannon

HII SHANNON

I'm so behind on Speedy Gonzales over here!

Love the opening.

Lol. And, Ottery, the debonair, mysterious, hopeless romantic is the hero of the story? How fitting.

I LOVE when you put in references to other works! Madeline. In an old house in Paris that was covered in vines, lived twelve little girls in two straight lines. They left the house at half past nine in two straight lines, in rain or shine. The smallest one was Madeline. Sigh. Oh, to be seven again...

This sounds so much of the Paris I imagine.

Ottery to the core. And, I loved the detail that her French, like so many things about our favorite bookworm, was, as you put it, perfect.

Wow. That hits close to home. But it's described just how it is in real life.

*tear* Too true. Too true.

Tugging my heartstrings with your lovely words...like the good old days!

Well, goodnight, Ottery. Sweet dreams, love. Te adoro, mi nutria sola.

Shannon

I'm glad I'm here too,,, and thanks for updating.
Ok...........so u love Sarah's of the world lol,,, u'd love me too!!
and thats so nice to kno that ur neice is called Sarah and she's a cutie pie like me...lol...
and do u by any chance read other ppl's fics??lol
I was only asking .......*

ok,, so grt update,,, bring on the Ron and Hermy togetherness!!!!

bye bye,,,
Sarah*

*sighs* I love your writing...no words can describe how much! I'm just...speechless. You have a wonderful talent, my love.
So, about that novel you mentioned you were writing... *grins*

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padfoot_88 Shan-Shan WTF??!! You take ten years to complete my short and you think you can come here and you can just say you love me heaps and *runningcryingmadglompswithsmoochies* I love you heaps too, and after your e-mail I love you heaps more I'll write you back soon, promise, I suck I know I'm sorry. I'll go finish reading my request.

Argh! I know...I'm so bad...it's not that I hadn't finished writingthe fic...it was just the posting that took forever. I'm sorry. And you know I'll always love you!
Don't worry about replying to my email! When you've got time...I know how things are at the moment. You don't suck! *slaps Ottery before tackle glomping him into oblivion* You anything but suck...you're too pretty to suck. Even Rupikins agrees with me, don't you Rupikins? *Rupert tackle glomps Ottery*
See?

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padfoot_88 Shan-Shan, you again *madglomps with smoochies* But only this time loves, stop spamming that's what the EDIT button is for.

*blushes* Sorry, bad habit. I guess it's the drama queen in me...GIVE ME ATTENTION!! *giggles* I promise not to spam from now on. Girl Guide's honour. I only do it coz I love you! But you knew that...

Oooh...I could praise your work all night, and then all day, and then all night again...but unfortunately, other committments require my attention...like finishing off fics that I've naughtily neglected...and going to bed at a decent hour so I actually get out of bed while it's still morning...but mainly it's the finishing off fics thing. Who needs sleep anyway?

You are doing a wickedly awesome job with this fic and I wait with baited breath for the next post.
Much love and kisses and huggles and always,
Your ShanShan

This is a forum not instant messenger *pokes everyone* I swear some of you kids are stalking me ... stop that!

*Teddy sounds the trumpets* Official Declarations by the Self Aggrandizing Author of this Fic: The World Renowned Ottery St. *gags*

*Ottery glares at Teddy and goes on*

Si, is the Official Diva of this fic ;J

Ottery is the Official of this fic ... anyone else comes riding in, outside the saloon at noon pardner ...

You caught the Madeline reference Si, vous etes tres intelligent *bises*

Tis true ... pity it isn't Ottery.

I guess I'm not giving too much away saying ... the Once upon a time paragraph wasn't referring to Ottery, and he's not the hero of this fic ... but you'll see soon enough ...

Angeline, the official Questioner of this Fic, and for your first question I'll answer, with my patented vagueness ... I'll PM you a reply, if you please. I'll tell you then why.

Shan-Shan, you're the Official Spammer of this fic ... *sighs dejectedly* so go on, spam or away. *madglomps* You're too sweet, go on and spam you know je t'aime.

*is tackleglomped by Rupert* Don't mind us ... I'll update laters *Throws everyone out of his fic except Rupert*

Hey Ottery! Awesome so far! I can't wait to read more.
This is the first story of yours I've actually read while you were still posting. And I still havent finished Mars yet...*shrug* I need to do that. I can't wait to find out more! PAMS