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06-02-2007, 05:38 AM
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#1 (permalink)
|  Fan Fiction ElfCrup
Location: France HERE I COME! Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,293
|  Better Than Me - Sa13+
This is my 5th one-shot (and probably my shortest). I’m trying a different style too, since I’ve been having trouble with how I used to do it (take Goodbye My Lover for an example, that’s how I set it up normally). Instead, it’s more story.
Anyways, speaking of story...
Story: Draco and Hermione have been going out for quite some time, but Draco has been lying to her. He knows he shouldn’t, but he just can’t help it.
They have graduated by now (been two years). Hermione has found out about Draco’s lies and broke up with him. She packed her stuff and left, leaving a depressed Draco.
He is taking a walk through the forest outside Malfoy Manor, thinking about Hermione. Once he comes to the lake, he has a realization - he has to let go, that she deserves much better...
Song: Better Than Me by Hinder
This has got to be my first one-shot without any dialogue too!
Many first-time things in this one short one-shot.
~~~~~~~~
Draco was walking through the forest outside the Malfoy Manor, thinking about the past two years he had been with Hermione. He loved her, he truly did, but he had lied. So much he was starting to feel the guilt weigh him down every day that had passed. The worst of it all was that she believed his lies.
Well, most of them. She had caught on just a matter of weeks ago. It was then that they broke up. She had packed everything that was hers and left suddenly.
He remembered once when she had caught him kissing Tara, a girl in Slytherin that he had his eyes on before Hermione, the day before graduation. When Hermione caught them, he pushed Tara away and said she had taken him by surprise and just started snogging him out of nowhere.
Hermione believed him.
Draco looked up from the dirty trail and had another flashback - the day Hermione found out about his lies. He could feel the sting of her hand when it met with his left cheek. He remembered her claim of ‘If you’ve lied so much, you probably lied about loving me!’.
Tears pricked Draco’s eyes as he heard her voice echo in his mind.
He then stopped in front of the lake. He looked at his reflection, its pristine beauty showing him his pale face, eyes bloodshot from tears.
Then it suddenly changed form. His memories played out in front of him, the kiss with him and Tara, Hermione finding out... it all swam into one. He picked up a big rock, he threw it at the reflection. The water rippled away, taking his memories with it. He let out a thankful breath, finally free from them.
And then her face looked at him. The reflection showed Hermione looking back at him, her luscious, chocolate brown eyes burdened with sadness. Her dark, highlighted hair curled down past her shoulders perfectly, framing her lightly tanned face. Draco gripped a rock in his hand and looked back into the reflection of Hermione. With a hard splash, Hermione’s reflection rippled away. Draco’s grey, bloodshot eyes stung from a sudden gust of cool air and withheld tears. He was free from his past, free from the memories of her that had been engraved in his mind.
A new song played on the iPod Draco had found next to Hermione’s old bedside table.
I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You can deserve better than me
The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend
I won't think about you when I'm older
'Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
And I think you should know this
Draco looked at the baby blue iPod, watching a tear that had fallen down his cheek hit the screen. He pulled the earphones out of his ears and threw it in the opposite direction and into the forest. He then heard the song’s last words.
You deserve much better than me... | 
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06-02-2007, 07:02 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| Fan Fiction Elf Crup
Location: France HERE I COME! Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,293
|
woah, that's the fasted update thing I've ever seen!
Course whenever I put one up at this hour I'm usually asleep.
Thank goodness for weekends! 
So... what're your thoughts (on the one-shot)?  Good? Bad? Could do better...? (first time for everything, eh?  )
I'm shocked I have 1502 posts already (at this point with this post)! Only been... 9 months and I already have that much! Crazy, eh? pst, hey guys, there're some links you should check out. My artistical abilities shine through!
Two Unicorns
My best (animal) drawing
Last edited by MalfoyzBeloved : 06-02-2007 at 07:04 AM.
Reason: correcting links
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06-02-2007, 12:40 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Bicorn
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,922
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HOW SIMPLY WONDERFUL!!
I loved this!
Wow, it was so melancholy in a gorgeous way =)
*shnuggles mah ff writer for being so good*
Love ya
.:Adrienne:. | |
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06-02-2007, 12:46 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Erumpent
Location: GONE. Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 13,158
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yay twinneh I was in it! And I kissed Draco! woot! lol thanx!
XOXO,
Tara  + 
Last edited by DanIsMyMan : 06-02-2007 at 12:51 PM.
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06-02-2007, 03:53 PM
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#5 (permalink)
|  ECFC & LLFC Games Off.
Snape is my man!Troll
Location: Hogwarts School of W Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,889
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Mindy Song
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That's an awesome one-shot there! Awesome!
Should I feel sorry for Draco? or Hermione? ^^
You certainly did a wonderful job writing this without dialogues, which must have been pretty tricky. Good job~ | |
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06-02-2007, 04:17 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Flobberworm
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 11
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
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wow! this is gonna be good i can tell!! Write more soon!!!  | |
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06-02-2007, 06:20 PM
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#7 (permalink)
|  Run, Emma, Run!Kneazle
Location: On the Track! Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,272
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Athena Warren
Seventh Year |
Sarah I hate you so much right now! You made me cry with your wonderful FF!
It was so sad! 
I loved it though!
Love,
Emma | |
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06-02-2007, 07:49 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| Fan Fiction Elf Crup
Location: France HERE I COME! Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,293
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Quote: |
And I kissed Draco! woot! lol thanx!
| LOL! A whole entire snogging session (before Hermione came into teh room of course)
You're welcome
Quote: |
You certainly did a wonderful job writing this without dialogues, which must have been pretty tricky.
| Thanx.
It's definitely different and because of that difficult, that's for sure
Quote: |
*shnuggles mah ff writer for being so good*
| Aw, thankies  *starts to get suffocated by shnuggles*
Quote:
Sarah I hate you so much right now! You made me cry with your wonderful FF!
It was so sad!
I loved it though!
|  Glad you liked it!
Quote: |
this is gonna be good i can tell!! Write more soon!!!
| Sorry, but it's just a one shot; that was the only post.
Last edited by MalfoyzBeloved : 06-02-2007 at 07:50 PM.
Reason: was stupid and forgot to put a Quote tag around the first quote... 0.o Weird
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06-03-2007, 09:40 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Troll
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,676
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Heather Malfoy
Seventh Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Kahylee Ashford
Magical Games & Sports |
Wow thats so sad but wow i can't even describe my own feelings here it was so good.I mean Draco and Hermione is something everyone likes to see the good and Bad but this just brings out so much more into that relation ship almost everyone has come to know and sort of love.Great story.
~Heather~ | |
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06-03-2007, 03:27 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| Tonks' Werewolf Crup
Location: Summerr come soonn<3 Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,242
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Alana Colarossi
Fourth |
aww that was SO cute hahaha i like that song too which made it good too hahahha i wish it wasnt a one shot cause i liked how you wrote it!!! good job!!
-Anna<3 | |
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06-03-2007, 07:40 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: In Wonderland,with Mad Hatter Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 927
Second
Ministry RPG Name:
Janelle singleterry
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That was awesome!! 
This song is perfect to have on a story,it makes the perfect brake up song!!
Man I wish I could say "PAMS" to this! | |
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06-07-2007, 03:56 AM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Imp
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 117
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Wow, that was such a great one-shot! Especially for writing a new style, that is so hard, congrats. I happen to love that song by Hinder, you made the song and the fan fic perfect for each other! I also wish I could say pams to this. You mentioned other one-shots that you've written but have you written any continous fan fics? If you haven't I'd read any that you might write in the future. Again, well done! | |
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06-07-2007, 02:59 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| Fan Fiction Elf Crup
Location: France HERE I COME! Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,293
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06-13-2007, 04:02 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| | Hippocampus
Location: u.s.a. Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 297
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Great post, too bad it's a one shot. I've read some of your other fics and liked those too! God job on the story!
~Toni | |
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06-15-2007, 12:11 PM
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#15 (permalink)
| | Skrewt
Location: Moving on to Hollywo Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,486
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Lily Vanfer
Ministry RPG Name:
Ministry? Not yet... ^_^
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That was really sweet, its to bad its only one shot!
-*~ Shirel ~*- | |
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06-17-2007, 01:28 PM
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#16 (permalink)
| Fan Fiction Elf Crup
Location: France HERE I COME! Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,293
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glad ya guys enjoyed it | |
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