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01-02-2008, 01:50 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Location: The periodically beautiful USA Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 79
Hogwarts RPG Name: Nickelle Miffed First | An Argument to Leave One Mad - Sa13+ This is my first fan-fiction. EDIT: I know a lot of you have voted to have me continue it... and I appreciate that, I really do! But it doesn't feel right. So for now, and probably forevever (so dramatic. ;]) Its going to stay a One-shot. Thank you so much for the support everyone! An Argument to Leave One Mad Blue eyes blinked as a greeting to a new day. Memories of the day before flooded a brain. An angry picture much to vivid came into focus. Without wanting to, Ronald Weasley was remembering the fight he and Hermione Granger had. Was a stupid fight. He thought and rolled over pushing himself deeper into the homemade quilts of his bed. Shaky hands grabbed the closet door. They pulled the vacuum cleaner out of the closet. Locating a power plug and her wand, Hermione Granger silenced the noisy machine, and still in her pajamas, began vacuuming her room. Ginny Weasley, Ronald’s younger sister, peeked in through the cracked door. Oh no. She thought, and sprinted down the hall to Ron’s room. She flung open the door, “Ron what did you do- wait. You’re already awake?” “Yeah do you wanna make something of it?” Ron replied. He was already dressed, running a hand through his shaggy red hair. Ginny knew that for him to be up this early, whatever was bothering Hermione must have been bothering him too. “Hermione’s vacuuming.” She said quietly. “Without magic.” Ginny left the room. Ron’s best friend Harry came in after Ginny left. “Any chance that was about me?” he asked. “No.” Ron replied. “Why?” “Oh, nothing.” He was still trying to figure out what she wanted for her 17th birthday. Realizing that Ron was up and out of bed, Harry asked “What’s wrong with you?” “Oh, Hermione and I had a-” “We has an argument.” Hermione finished his sentence opening the door. Harry noticed that she was still in her pajamas. “Oh.” Harry said. “Catch you two later then.” He would have liked to add “Leave him in one piece,” to Hermione, but he could tell she was more saddened than angry this time. Harry closed the door to find Ginny in the hallway. “Shhh.” She put a finger up to her lips. They knelt down together and put an ear under the door, Harry put his hand on top of hers, and she smiled. They could hear Hermione coughing nervously. “Listen Ron, I really-” and then it was silent. It remained silent for quite some time. “Ginny looked up at Harry, she whispered “should we go in?” CRASH! Harry and Ginny quickly stood up and opened the door. The nightstand shelving all of Ron’s books had been pushed over, and on top of the books were Hermione, and on top of Hermione, there was Ron. Ron kissed her forehead, and they were both laughing so cheerfully that Ginny and Harry might have thought they had gone mad; if they didn’t know that Hermione and Ron were in love.
Last edited by backwardsn : 01-06-2008 at 10:02 PM.
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01-02-2008, 09:07 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| Larry Boy Doxy
Location: Right behind you. Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 425
Hogwarts RPG Name: Rachelle Williams Fourth | Aw, I love it! |
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01-02-2008, 11:56 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Location: The periodically beautiful USA Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 79
Hogwarts RPG Name: Nickelle Miffed First | Quote:
Originally Posted by #1DanFan14 Aw, I love it! | Thanks! I was actually really nervous when I saw that I had a reply... I'm glad it was a good one! =] |
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01-03-2008, 01:40 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| Larry Boy Doxy
Location: Right behind you. Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 425
Hogwarts RPG Name: Rachelle Williams Fourth | It's really cute! You should definitely keep writing. |
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01-03-2008, 04:11 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Hippogriff
Location: SS, duh Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 3,451
Hogwarts RPG Name: Carolyn Weasley Fourth Year Ministry RPG Name:
Isabella Longbottom Magical Games & Sports | i totally agree with #1DanFan. you should keep writing i love it. |
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01-03-2008, 04:20 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| Urdu Mod ♥ SotS Head of Writers JPFC Pres KasTan Snidget
Location: { insandsandheels} Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,699
Hogwarts RPG Name: Shel Ambrose Seventh Year Ministry RPG Name:
Corranda Melvicks / Royda Dames Special Ops | Nice attempt, Nikshel, it's very sweet. ^^
It's not a one-shot, right, hun? |
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01-03-2008, 10:37 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Bowtruckle
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 239
| That was awesome and sooooo cute  |
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01-03-2008, 10:10 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| DRFC Co-Pressie K.O. Harry's Smile Guard of Dan’s Curiosity b> Griffin
Location: In a world with Dan Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 8,756
Hogwarts RPG Name: Lilly Young Second Year Ministry RPG Name:
Keylee May Magical Games & Sports | thats really cute. i like it alot. |
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01-04-2008, 01:39 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Location: The periodically beautiful USA Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 79
Hogwarts RPG Name: Nickelle Miffed First | Quote:
Originally Posted by SenoritaMaxie Nice attempt, Nikshel, it's very sweet. ^^ It's not a one-shot, right, hun? | Thanks!... I think? And that would depend... whats a one-shot? |
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01-04-2008, 01:40 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Location: The periodically beautiful USA Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 79
Hogwarts RPG Name: Nickelle Miffed First | Thanks for the support everyone! It means a lot. =] |
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01-04-2008, 09:43 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| DA PoetRupert is My Man!SS100 Triumphant Poltergeist
Location: Gone ♥ Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 17,807
Hogwarts RPG Name: Ottery St. Catchpole Third | Nice Shot! A one-shot would be if that post was your whole story. All of it in one post makes it a one-shot story. 
That said I liked it a lot, it was very cute, and I think you could go on and write more story. If it feels right I mean.
And one last piece of advice which you can totally ignore, it's just basic good grammar, but when you're writing, every time there's a new speaker you start a new paragraph. Like this paragraph of yours should be like this it makes it easier to read: Quote:
Ron’s best friend Harry came in after Ginny left. “Any chance that was about me?” he asked.
“No.” Ron replied.
“Why?”
“Oh, nothing.” He was still trying to figure out what she wanted for her 17th birthday.
Realizing that Ron was up and out of bed, Harry asked “What’s wrong with you?”
“Oh, Hermione and I had a-”
“We has an argument.” Hermione finished his sentence opening the door. Harry noticed that she was still in her pajamas.
“Oh.” Harry said. “Catch you two later then.” He would have liked to add “Leave him in one piece,” to Hermione, but he could tell she was more saddened than angry this time.
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Just a thought, your story was very sweet. I totally love R/Hr and H/G. Yay! I hope you write more. EDIT: I'm such a dork, I just noticed the poll I was thinking if you didn't want to go on with the story ... you could always just keep adding shorts stories ... you know, lots of one-shots? Just a thought ... *Today Otty is full of advice* 
Last edited by OtterySt.Catchpole : 01-04-2008 at 09:46 PM.
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01-05-2008, 10:18 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Location: The periodically beautiful USA Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 79
Hogwarts RPG Name: Nickelle Miffed First | Ohhh... haha. Thats okay. I actually put the poll in after you asked me if its a one-shot, so don't feel bad! :] And as fars as the grammar goes, Yeah... I actually knew that... I just kind of ignored it I guess. lol But thanks for the advice! Since this is my first FF, I apreciate it. =D |
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01-06-2008, 09:37 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Bicorn
Location: The Cullen's house.. Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,652
Hogwarts RPG Name: Sahrina Marie Potter (Rian) Second Year Ministry RPG Name:
Jessica Emily Miller Magical Creatures | New Reader...I dont know if I should say that since you've only done one post...
but it was a wonderful post! i definately think you should keep the story going...i think i will vote that on the poll lol. ok, PAMS! |
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01-16-2008, 10:37 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| | Hippocampus
Location: my caged mind Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 297
Hogwarts RPG Name: Aurora Jullian Marks | New Reader
You have to contunue that!!! |
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02-19-2008, 04:36 AM
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#15 (permalink)
| | Flobberworm
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 22
| You should really keep the story going it was a really good first post. |
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02-19-2008, 05:44 PM
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#16 (permalink)
| | Kappa
Location: The Burrow Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 966
Hogwarts RPG Name: Ravenclaw First Year | Oh I like this! You should definetly continue!!! |
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02-20-2008, 11:41 PM
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#17 (permalink)
| | Gnome
Location: The periodically beautiful USA Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 79
Hogwarts RPG Name: Nickelle Miffed First | Thanks everyone! |
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