this is my (Kirstie's) Elite Evil FF Darer Thread, so her goes with my first Dare - i apologize if this is late

A Weird Day at Hogwarts

Ron, Harry and Hermione were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, munching on toast, listening to the radio, tuned to a muggle pop station. Ron leaned over and turned the dial to 98.5 fm, the news station.
"What'd you do that for?" said Harry. " I really liked that song, Britney Spears is my favourite muggle artist."
"Mum said that today, November the 12th, was a special day - she was being all cryptic about it. so i thought i'd see what the news guy had to say" said Ron
"Ok" said Harry, as the news came on.
"Good morning, witches and wizards. In top news, Listeners are reminded that today is speak in the third person and wear your clothes backwards day. Geoff says, and now it's time for the weather..."
Harry turned off the Radio.
"oh well, best Harry gets changed then" he said, walking off towards the dorms.
Hermione simply stood up, twisted her skirt around and pulled her arms into her shirt and spun that around too.
"Wow, Ron's impressed" said Ron. He ran quickly behind a curtain and got changed. When he emerged, Harry had descended the stairs, tripping on the last step and falling flat on his face.
"So, what should we do today?" asked Hermione.
"Harry thinks we should go see Professor Lupin" said Harry
"Ron thinks that's a brilliant idea" said Ron.

So the three of them left the common room and started walking in the general direction of Lupin's office. As they turned around the corner leading to Dumbledore's office, they heard yelling.
"Winky demands paying for her services to the school, including back payment to the begining of her employment. Winky has developed a taste for designer clothes and need money to buy more"
"But Albus doesn't have any spare galleons, Albus spent them all betting on a quidditch match"
"Winky will give you till 9pm tonight to come up with the money, otherwise Winky will poison your students"
"Albus will see what he can do"
They heard a door slam, and saw winky storming from dumbledore's office, looking very angry.
"That was weird" said Ron.
"Wonder how Dumbledore's going to get the money?" said Hermione.
"Dunno" said Harry. They kept walking until they reached Lupin's Office. They walked in to see Professor Lupin dancing around the room with a big smile on his face.
"Umm, hello professor" said Hermione.
"Hello children. Yes, Remus is very very happy today, have you heard the news? He got an owl from Sirius this morning, and it was in the paper - that silly old man in the moon, why nobody's been feeding him Remus doesn't know... but anyway, he got so hungry that he ate a quarter of the moon, which means?"
Harry, Ron and Hermione collectively shrugged their shoulders.
" It means no more full moons, ever!!! Remus is cured!" said Lupin.
"That's great professor. Look, it's getting late, are you coming to the Great Hall for dinner?" said Ron.
"Yes Remus is" said Lupin.

They said goodbye to Lupin as they entered the Great Hall. After sitting down at the Gryffindor Table, Harry looked around the hall and saw a small stage set up in the corner, next to the Teacher's table. He was about to comment about it to Ron when Dumbledore stood and said "Albus has an announcement to make, but it can wait until after the feast - dig in!"
"Harry wonders what that's all about?" said Harry, as he pointed out the stage and microphone to Ron and Hermione.
"Maybe Britney Spears is coming to perform" sniggered Ron
"Don't get Harry's hopes up" said Harry.
"Hermione expects we'll know soon enough" said Hermione. they proceeded to eat their dinners. When all the plates had been cleared away, Dumbledore stood again and said " Now for his announcement: he is pleased to announce the first annual Hogwarts Karaoke Contest. All Students must pay one galleon to enter, and you all have to enter, and the winner will be given a prize. if you will all stand, he thinks we should re-arrange the furniture a little." with a flick of his wand, all the house table dissapeared and were replaced with rows of seats facing the stage. the students took seats and waited for someone to go first.

Fred and George leapt from their seats and ran up to the stage.
"Fred and George will go first" they said in unison. they fiddled with the Karaoke Machine, and disco lights came on. They performed "Saturday Night Fever" and "Staying Alive" before Professor Dumbledore stood and said " Perhaps someone else should have a go, otherwise we'll be here all night". Crabbe and Goyle sang "You're so Vain" to Draco, Draco sang "Grease lightning", Hermione did a stunning rendition of "You drive me crazy" by Britney Spears for Ron.

Ron then stood and walked up to the stage. He looked really nervous, and his voice started to crack and he started his song:
"Do you k-know the Muffin Man, The muffin man, the muffin ma-an"
he then faltered and the hall began laughing. Harry, sensing that Ron needed his help, jumped up and ran to Ron, where he whispered, Lets do a duet. Ron nodded slightly and changed the Karaoke Machine to "P.I.M.P" by 50 cent. Ron and Harry proceeded to rock the great hall, with all the girls in there dancing infront of the stage. When they finished the song, the Great Hall erupted into applause.

Later on Dumbledore made his announcement:" Congratulations to Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter, winners of the First annual Hogwarts Karaoke Contest. your prizes are a month off from homework" Ron and Harry felt very pleased with themselves, and thought that this was a very strange day indeed.

OOC: tada - i hope you all like it

Thanks for the error correction sushma

the original dare was as follows:

born2mugglez's dare:
1) Winky must start demanding pay from Dumbledore
2) Ron must start singing the muffin man song
3) The guy on the news must declare it national _________ day (be creative... )
4)The man on the moon(made out of spagetthi) must get hungry and eat part of the moon thereby making it impossible for werewolves around the world to transform..dun dun dun!!!

i'll post a new dare ff soon...

That was Briliant Kirstie McGonagall, your realy good at this.
And Da dada daaaaaa!
You are now a member of the Elit Evil FF Darers, make yourself a siggy and join the party!!!

:music_band: :pig: :ccandy: :watermelon: :wine: :sorcerer: :upsidedown: :bouncepea: :beer:

Geesh, how nice are you, Lotus... you even brought a party to the thread with you!

Congrats, Kirstie, I know you've been waiting a while for this. I love it... even if I really DON'T love Britney Spears, she was random enough that I got a great deal of enjoyment out of it.

Cassirin likes speaking in third person. She thinks it makes her sound like a queen... and she is Princess Cassirin! Nice work!

Thank you both so much!! My next dare will be posted soon. and i get to make a dare up too? Yay!! :flowersmile:

Part One of Weirdness

“Arrrrggghhh” yelled Harry. Peeves had just emptied a bucket of water on his head as he slept in the library.
“You stupid idiot, what did you do that for?” Harry yelled.
“Get out!! No yelling in the Library!!” yelled Madame Pince, as she chased Harry from the library, hitting him with encyclopedias as he ran. He kept on running, barely looking where he was going until he smacked into a girl with long blonde hair wearing a pink frilly dress. They both fell over, and Harry, being the gentleman he is, stood up and offered his hand to the girl to help her stand up when he realised it wasn’t a girl; it was Draco Malfoy in a wig and a dress. Harry withdrew his hand and proceeded to crack up laughing while Draco tried to cover his face and ran away down the hall. Harry grabbed his camera out of his schoolbag and ran after Draco. “Hey Draco, you’re looking bootylicious today” Harry said as he chased Draco down the hallway in the direction of the Great Hall. After snapping a few photo’s to post all over the school, Harry gave up the chase and walked towards the common room.

Harry was still chuckling to himself when he got to the Gryffindor common room. He walked inside and saw Ron and Hermione sitting on a couch by the fire, making out.
“Hey, guess what?” he said.
“We’re a bit busy now Harry, could you tell us later” Ron said. Harry decided to ignore him and keep talking.
“I just saw Draco Malfoy in the corridor wearing a wig and a pink frilly dress” said Harry.
“Really, did you get any photo’s?” asked Hermione. “I wonder what he was doing?”
“Yeah I got some photo’s, I’m just going to develop them now, I’ll be back soon, I’ll leave you guys to it then” Harry said as he headed for the Photo Development Lab.

haha that's my dare!!! *points to the VERY tippy top of the page..) Yay!!! what a wonderful story...I liked Crabbe and Goyle singing ur so vain...Your so vein. I bet you think this song is about you, don't you?! don't you?! Hehe, sry had to get it out of my system...Neway.. hooray for Ron and Hermione!!! lalala, my pink tights are evil... :hide_chair: :sorcerer:

Cyrene Black thinks that you are very funny, in an evil way. She also likes talking in third person, but she thinks it makes her sound like a cavewoman. An EVIL cavewoman. >

Cyrene is happy that you accepted her dare and wants you to post more soon, lest you face her evil wrath.


Welcome to the Evil Elite!

Zymurgy the great and powerful had not had time before to read your briliant little ficlet. Zymurgy the Great feals, that she may be related the Ceasar at this point- this third person thing must run in the family. She shall now return to her coffee. She says "Kudos!"

fanks sooooo much for all your support guys - Go the Evilness!!

Part Two of Weirdness

When he entered the Photo Development lab, he saw that he wasn't alone. Cho Chang was standing in the corner fiddling with some toner.
"Umm, hi" said Harry.
"Hi Harry, what brings you here in the middle of the night?" asked Cho
"i've got these pictures to develop of Draco Malfoy in a dress"
"Really, can i see them when you're done?"
"S-Sure you can" said Harry, realising he was in a dark room with a very pretty girl alone. He began to develop his photo's when he felt Cho's hand on his shoulder.
"I still like you Harry, i'm sorry about the way i treated you last year, but your kissing style did make me cry - would you like some kissing lessons?"
"Ok" said Harry. Cho leant in and they started kissing for like half an hour. Then Cho backed away and said "oh no, i've got to go - see you around Harry" as she ran from the room. Harry just stood there in disbelief.

Once Cho was down the corridor and around the corner, the polyjuice potion wore off to reveal Ginny Weasley, who uttered "It's good to be evil" before running off to the Gryffindor Common Room.

the original dare was
CyreneBlack's dare:
* the word bootylicious (like from the Destiny's Child song) must come up in conversation
* Peeves must make an appearance.
* A male character must wear a dress
* Someone must utter the phrase "It's good to be evil"
* Someone must offer to give Harry kissing lessons

Cyrene Black is honored that you finished her dare. She thinks you are very evil and funny.

Cyrene particularly liked this line:
"I still like you Harry, i'm sorry about the way i treated you last year, but your kissing style did make me cry - would you like some kissing lessons?"

She never knew Harry was such a bad kisser. She also didn't know that Ginny was so evil. Go Ginny!

And, go Kirstie, for this deliciously evil dare!

Cyrene can't wait for your next one!

Yay, Kirstie! You finished another one. Cassirin thinks that your work is lovely and very funny! She is also very fond of Ginny (which is why any sarcastic or witty comments in her stories that she wants to have said are always said by Ginny) and is glad that the girl shows spunk in other ficcy universes as well.

Cassirin does NOT like Cho and is glad that Harry was not all smoochy with said yucky-face.

HEy, these are great stories! Can't wait to read your next one!

fanks everyone for all your kind words. i will be working on my next dare soon, i took a bit of a break cuz i was working soooooo much at my job (at a supermarket) that i couldn't get on the puter.

Yay!! i'm a Slytherin!!

all right, here goes with Quantamus's dare...

Sweet Dreams are made of this…
Also known as my ode to X men.

Harry crept up silently toward the whispered voices coming from the broom cupboard. It was dark, the only light in the corridor coming from the slightly ajar door. Harry wondered who could be up this late, and why they were talking in a broom cupboard of all places. Harry could hear two voices, a man and a woman. He strained to pick up the words.

“Why did you ask me to meet you here, Argus? Are there students out of bed? This is highly unprofessional”
SNORT!
“Sorry ‘bout that, it’s my allergies”

“Do not worry Minerva my sweet, I eat grass, no one else knows about this place, for it is called the Broom Cupboard of Eternal Love, made especially for people wanting to declare their undying love for other people. It is only accessible at certain times of the night, and when the school thestrals are groomed by an army of imps.”

“I don’t understand Argus, what are you trying to say?”
SNORT!

“I eat grass. Oh and I love you with the fire of a thousand suns”

“Argus, I’m flattered.”
SNORT
“But you know I’m involved with Dumbledore, I couldn’t possibly balance three boyfriends”

“Three?!? Who else are you seeing? I know about Dumbledore, I eat grass, but who else takes a share of your heart?

“Who else? Snape of course!”
SNORT
“He’s my toy boy, Dumbledore’s my sugar daddy, and you can be my bit of rough”

“Oh Minerva, I eat grass, I eat grass! I’m sooooo happy! Come here…”

Harry then heard the noises associated with two people kissing. He decided he’d had too much information, and the mental images were creeping him out. He re-arranged his invisibility cloak and set off away from the broom cupboard, towards the dorm. He was tired and grumpy, because Ron and Hermione didn’t want to come on his night-time stroll to the quidditch pitch because they were too busy playing strip wizards chess.

Then all of a sudden Harry was being chased by Lord Voldemort down a dark, tree lined corridor. Harry screamed and ran, twisting from side to side to avoid the spells fired at him by Voldemort. BAMF! Voldemort teleported to stand directly in front of harry. Harry stopped dead in his tracks and started to back away. Dark evil red glowing faeries were flying in front of Harry’s face, blinding him. He spun around and was about to fall into a massive hole in the floor when BAMF! A blue skinned creature with cloven hoofs and a tail grabbed him and teleported them both to the Gryffindor Common Room.

“Thanks” said Harry “ But, who are you?”

“I am Kurt Wagner, also known as Nightcrawler” I was sent here to save you from Voldemort, who is also known as Magneto, because he stole my BAMF technique. And he wanted to capture you and use you in a machine called Cerebro to kill all the humans in the world, but mostly because he stole my BAMF sound effect”

“Hmmm” Harry thought. “ that sounds a lot like an X men movie. I must be dreaming…”

Harry woke with a start to find himself safe in his bunk in the dorm. Suddenly his bed curtains were pulled aside and he saw Ron’s ginger head poke inside.

“Hey there, love muffin” said Ron.

Harry punched himself in the head to make sure he wasn’t still dreaming, then swung again to hit Ron. Ron quickly removed his head from Harry’s bed curtains, just in time to avoid Harry’s swinging fist. He looked out to see Ron approach Neville’s bed. Ron leaned right over Neville and said

“Hey there, Love Muffin”

Neville screamed, jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs in his underwear. He sprinted through the common room, pushed aside a pair of first year girls, who giggled madly when they realized he was only wearing his love heart boxers. Neville was still screaming, sprinting as though he was being chased by a herd of whip-toting orcs. He ran around Hogwarts 14 and a half times, until he was stopped by Professor McGonagall.

“Neville, calm down.”
SNORT
“Tell me what happened”

“Well professor, I was dreaming that I was making out with Hermione, then when I woke up, Ron was leaning over me and he said “Hey there Love Muffin”. I was sooooooo petrified that he knew that I was dreaming about his girlfriend, that I started screaming, and I couldn’t stop”

“It’s ok Neville.”
SNORT.
”I Know for a fact that Ron was under a spell, inflicted on him by Mr Finnegan and Mr Thomas. They will be punished accordingly, and I don’t think Ron knows about your dream, I certainly won’t be telling him. Now,”
SNORT
“Go put some clothes on before you catch a cold”
SNORT

Tell me what ya think

the original dare was:
Quantamus's dare:
*Someone must say the words, “I eat grass” at least five times
*Someone must run around Hogwarts screaming in their underpants (not a House elf).
*Ron must greet someone with “Hey there, love muffin.”
*A dignified character must have a snorting problem throughout the fic.
*Argus Filch must confess his eternal love for McGonagall


new dare responses to be posted soon

and for McGanagall, Snape, Dumbeldore and Filtch mental images.

fanks Lotus. Here goes with Cassirin's Dare:

Hufflepuff Hijinks

“I don’t see why it has to be me” said Oliver Wood indignantly.
“You were the one that accepted that stupid bet with Hufflepuff over the quidditch match” said Angelina Johnson.
“I thought it was a sure thing, if only Harry hadn’t been distracted by that rampaging herd of thestrals, then we would have won”
“And that’s why it’s you that’s going to be the doorprize at the Hufflepuff Dominoes Tournament”
“But Dominoes are so lame, why couldn’t they have a wizard chess tournament, then there would at least be some action. And what am I supposed to be, decoration?
“Everyone knows that Hufflepuffs are too nice, and they think wizards chess is far too violent. You’ll get bums on seats so to speak, all the girls will be there to try and win you…”
“Win me for what??” said Oliver, getting quite worried
“You just have to dance with them, no kissing required”
“Will you come? And could you try to get other Gryffindor’s to come too? I don’t want to get won by some slimy Slytherin, rabid Ravenclaw or horrible Hufflepuff.”
“Nice alliteration Oliver. I’ll see what I can do, but I’m tired, I’m going to bed”
“Good-night”

Oliver then decided to go to bed also. He went to exit the common room when he saw a figure slumped in a chair by the fire. The figure had a pair of blue boxer shorts with pink dots on his head. Oliver went closer to investigate, and noticed that it was Ron Weasley.
“Hey, Ron” he said as he shook Ron’s shoulder.
“huh-wha..? Oh, hello Katie. Where am I?”
“I’m Oliver, not Katie. You’re in the common room, why do you have boxer shorts on your head?”
“Oh, sorry bill. Umm, I don’t think I remember – last thing I remember was Harry laughing at me, slimy slytherin git. I’d mucked up in his potions class again…”
“You mean Snape right? But I thought Snape was your man?” said Oliver
“ I hate her guts… what are you on, Ginny? Can I have some?”
“I think you’re still asleep, best you get to bed Ron” Oliver said as he helped Ron up the stairs to his dorm.

The night was dark when the Hufflepuff Dominoes Tournament began…
“Hey, excuse me Kirstie?” said Oliver. “Do you think you could skip writing about the Tournament? I’m trying to wipe the horrible memories from my mind, and I’d really rather not relive it”
“Oh, okay Oliver. It’ll be our little secret. No-one will ever have to know that you were won by Draco Malfoy – oops, sorry Oliver”
“ewwww, I’m going to go wash my hands again”

and here is Lotus's Dare:

Mind Games

It was a lovely day at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ron Weasley and Kirstie McGonagall were taking a peaceful stroll around the Lake, having a chat.
“Ron, how is life at Hogwarts treating you? You can tell me anything, I’m the author, I’ll keep it a secret.”
“Well actually Kirstie, I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. I think I’m going insane, in your last fic I was acting very strangely, and I don’t remember that happening”
“Well, you were half asleep Ron, it is understandable. How can I cheer you up? Would you like a famous Hypnotist to visit Hogwarts? I can talk to my friend Beth’s grandma, and see if she would like to come visit also”
“That would be really awesome Kirstie, you’re the best”
“Why thanks Ron. Say, isn’t that Mrs Norris over there? I wonder what she’s doing?”
But Ron didn’t reply, he leapt into the bushes after Mrs Norris. They re-appeared a few seconds later, wrestling around on the ground.
“Give me back that Catnip, you stupid bloody cat”
“Meow”
I was rather alarmed at the sight of Ron wrestling with a cat. You would think that it would be kinda one-sided, with Ron being about 25 times bigger than Mrs Norris, but it was incredibly even. I pulled out my wand to try and break them up.
“Wresto Partico!” I cried. Unfortunately, at the moment I said my spell, I was knocked to the ground by the pair and my spell hit a castle wall instead. The wall exploded outwards, covering me, Ron and Mrs Norris in a cloud of dust and revealing a classroom full of students. I was highly embarrassed and ran from the castle as fast as I could. Ron and Mrs Norris stopped wrestling, with Ron finally grabbing the Catnip.

Two days later, Dumbledore stood up after dinner in the great hall to make an announcement.
“Tonight we have two special guests, a famous hypnotist and his assistant, Beth’s Grandma!”
Applause filled the Great Hall. Dumbledore cleared his throat.
“Also, after their performance, we will be having a Slave Day Auction, to raise funds to repair the wall that was damaged by Kirstie the other day”
“yeah, I’m really sorry about that Albus” said a voice from above.
“It’s ok Kirstie, just don’t do it again. I am now pleased to welcome the famous hypnotist!!”. There was scattered applause across the hall. A tall, lanky man with shoulder length black hair entered the hall from a side chamber and walked onto the stage.
“Please welcome my assistant, Beth’s Grandma!!” he said
a massive cheer erupted from the students. Beth’s Grandma walked up between the house tables, handing out strange lollies and knitted baby booties. She joined the hypnotist on stage.
“Can I have two Volunteers please?”
Harry, always wanting to be the center of attention, leapt up and ran to the stage. He was joined seconds later by Dumbledore.
“ would the both of you please be seated. Now keep your eyes on my watch” the hypnotist said as he swung an antique brass watch in front of the pair. Both of their heads dropped almost instantly.
“good. Now listen to my voice, when I snap my fingers, Harry from this moment on, whenever anyone says the word sold, you will yell “I love noodles!”. Dumbledore, from now on you must dance like Justin Timberlake whenever anyone says your name.”
SNAP!
Harry and Dumbledore sat straight up, like nothing had happened.
“Let us thank the Hypnotist and Beth’s Grandma for coming to our school”
Much cheering and clapping ensued. The Hypnotist quickly walked off stage and out of the hall, leaving Beth’s Grandma to bask in the reverence of the students. Dumbledore joined in the clapping for a moment, then called the hall to silence.

“All right now the Slave Auction will begin! First up is Mr Draco Malfoy. Who will start the bidding?”
“Umm, 5 dollars” grunted Goyle.
“10 Dollars” grunted Crabbe.
“four hundred and fifty seven dollars and sixty seven cents” said Pansy.
“Sold!” said Dumbledore.
“I Love Noodles!” shouted Harry.
Everyone laughed. Events continued like this until all the staff and students were bought by other staff and students, and the School raised $672,000 dollars of muggle money to fix the wall that I destroyed. Harry was bought by a group of giggling first year Hufflepuff girls who pooled all their money, Ron and Hermione bought each other, Dumbledore was bought by Colin Creevey, Snape was bought by Fred and George Weasley to be a test subject for their candies, and so on…

ohmigod

that was so funny
i fell of my chair i was laughing so hard
good thing nobody else is home- i would have gotten a lot of strange looks :unsure:

you are exceptionally evil



<---- dont you just love this dude so much?

Yay, Kirstie - sorry I didn't respond before, but these are SO funny . Excellent work. I'm glad you did my dare... and you did it well. I wish I had won Oliver (sigh) but at least it was a slimy git like Malfoy... no competition.

Man, it must be late. I'm being strangely obsessive about a fictional character.

I laughed so hard, I knocked over the salt. "I love noodles!" cried harry.
What the........ Harry, I said salt not sold. "I love NOODLES!" he yelled again.
*sigh* Yes, Harry I love noodles too. :ermsmile:

Don't you think she did a great job! Personally I liked her strange lollies, but then again I am Evil. :flowersmile:

:star: A star for the job you did on my dare.
BTW: I'm doing yours now and.....surprize your in it.

thanks all for your lovely (evil) comments. i just realised i forgot to make dumbledore dance like justin timberlake - ah here he comes now.
"Hello Dumbledore!"
"Hi" dumbledore replies as he busts a move, and starts singing "Senorita" at the top of his voice.
"Sold!!"
"I love Noodles!" cries Harry, who just entered the room.

"Right all of you out of here now, i have to think about my next evil dare" I said.
"All right we'll go" said Harry as he drags a gyrating Dumbledore from the room.

Peace at last...

lol, you made my day