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Biochemkris 01-28-2004 04:20 AM

Biochemkris EEFFD - Breaking Out of My Shell (Sa9+)
 
Here goes nothing. I present to you, my first Dare fic.

Harry and Ron came down the stairs into the common room to find Hermione sitting by the common room fire. She had all of her S.P.E.W. paraphernalia strewn out in front of her and she was scribbling madly onto a small sheet of parchment. “What’s that you got there, Hermione?” Ron asked.

“Oh Ron! I’m so glad you’re up. Can you get Pig to send this off to Charlie?”

“What do you want to send a letter to Charlie for?” he asked, suspiciously eyeing the S.P.E.W. badges on the floor.

“I’d rather not say,” Hermione replied. She gathered up her stuff and went off to the girls’ dormitory.

“I can’t believe she’s still on about elvish rights,” said Harry.

Harry and Ron turned to leave when Dobby and Winky sprang out from behind a chair. “Harry Potter, sir!” Dobby squeaked.

“Hello, Dobby,” said Harry. “What’s that you got there?” he asked eyeing the deck of cards in Dobby’s hand.

“Oh, I am so glad you asked. I am Dobby the Magnificent and this is my assistant, Winky the Wonderful! Now, if you could just pick a card, any card, and you will see something wondrous.”

A little incredulous, Harry reluctantly took a card. “Now, memorize the card, but don’t tell Dobby what it is, and then place it back in the deck,” Dobby continued.

Harry put the card back (it was the Queen of Hearts). Dobby handed the deck over to Winky and proceeded to take one of his socks off. As he waved the sock over the deck of cards, Winky’s eyes rolled up into her head, she passed out, and the cards went flying. Doby grabbed one of the cards from the air and said triumphantly, “Harry Pbotter picked the Ace of Spades!”

Ron and Harry tried to suppress their grins, “Uh, sure Dobby, that’s right.”

Dobby beamed, “Dobby will learn another trick for your Harry Potter, sir.”

With that, he exited the common room, leaving Winky and the cards on the floor. Hermione flew down the staircase and over to Winky, “Is she okay? Winky…Winky… can you hear me?”

Winky woke up and when she caught sight of Hermione, she screamed and ran from the room.

Biochemkris 01-29-2004 03:17 PM

The next day finds the trio outside Hagrid’s for Care of magical Creatures. The class was just about to begin when they saw someone flying in on a broomstick. Charlie Weasley dismounted his broom and walked over to Harry, Ron, and Hermione,
“Harry Ron Hello
Dragons for Hermione
Lest not rescue elves.”

Hermione ran over to Charlie and nearly yanked his arm out of its socket in her haste to take him down to the mistreated house elves. Harry and Ron followed them down to the kitchen where they encountered Dobby the Magnificent and his assistant Winky the Wonderful who had turned one of the food preparation tables into a stage. There was rather large and foul smelling kettle set in the middle. “And now, Dobby will attempt to pull a rabbit out of his kettle.”

Dobby made some wild hand gestures, took off another one of his socks, and waved it over the kettle saying, “Abra Kadabra!”

He stuck his arm into the kettle and came out with a trout. He shot a nasty glance at his assistant and slapped her in the face with the trout. Winky fainted with the impact of the trout slap. “Dobby will try a different one, sirs and miss.”

“Worry not dear elf
Some rest we all require
Can you get a snack?” said Charlie, to try and comfort the elf.

Winky immediately jumped up at the chance to serve and returned with six bananas: enough for one each. “So, what are you doing here?” Ron asked his brother.

“Society for
The promotion of elvish
Welfare called on me,” Charlie said.

It was supposed to be haiku, but the only resemblance to those poems which sound like a sneeze (Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference) was that it followed the 5-7-5 syllable rule. As a matter of fact, Hermione was quite disappointed that none of Charlie’s dialog was very poetic at all.

Biochemkris 01-30-2004 02:09 AM

“Why did you drag my brother all the way over here?” asked Ron when they got back to the common room.

“Well, I remember Hagrid said he was always good in Care of Magical Creatures, so I thought he could help me free the house elves,” Hermione said defensively.

“Hermione,” Ron and Harry groaned.

But, before they could say anything else, Dobby the Magnificent and Winky the Wonderful appeared with a large box and a chain saw. “Witches and Wizards, Dobby will now be performing his greatest magic trick, yet. He will saw his assistant in half and then put her back together again, said Dobby in a loud voice so that everyone in the common room looked over at the commotion.

Winky apparently hadn’t know what was going to happen because her eyes got even wider than they already were (which was pretty amazing seeing as how her eyes were already the size of tennis balls) and stuttered at Dobby, “We’re going to hell in a hand basket!”

Winky promptly fainted as Dobby replied, excitedly, “Oh goody; I’ve never been there!”

Harry, Ron, and Charlie laughed while Hermione tried to revive Winky the Wonderful. As soon as Winky opened her eyes and looked at Hermione, she screamed and fled from the room. Dobby was left standing next to his box, chain saw in hand, and no assistant to cut in two. His eyes filled with tears, “Oh Dobby has failed, sir. He is not worthy to perform magic tricks for the Great Harry Potter and his splendiferous friend, Ron.”

Dobby snapped his fingers and a waffle maker appeared. He promptly stuck his hands into it, “Bad Dobby, bad!”

Hermione grabbed him and shook him out of his self-flagellation. “Thank you miss.”

After his hands were removed from the waffle maker, Harry noticed something pink on his fingertips and asked, “What’s that on your fingers Dobby?”

“Oh, Winky is helping make Dobby look nicer,” he replied excitedly.

Harry and Ron groaned while Hermione whipped out some nail polish remover. “Here, let me help you get that off,” she said.

Dobby immediately hid his hands behind his back and looked defiantly at Hermione, “You is saying we should do what we want and I want pink fingers!”

With that, Dobby disappeared and Charlie said,
“My duty here done
Now back to dragon tending
Farewell friends to elves.”

The End!

Biochemkris 01-30-2004 02:22 AM

Sorry about that pathetic excuse of a story, but you have to start somewhere :flowersmile:

Here were the requirements for the dare:
Quote:


Cassirin's dare:
* Someone wants to be a magician and keeps learning "magic tricks"
* Charlie Weasley must be in the fic
* Someone must speak in haiku. (For clarification, ask)
* Someone must say, "We're going to heck in a handbasket," and someone must reply, "Oh, goody... I've never been there!"
*The following items must appear (plausibly, please): nail polish remover, 6 bananas, a kettle of fish, and a waffle maker.
Due date: 1st Feb


Merman 01-30-2004 07:17 AM

that was really good made me go HAHAHA :lol:

Edge 02-01-2004 01:54 PM

Woot!!! Kris, this is an excellent story!!!
:up: :up:
Parts that I like-y...

Quote:

Winky woke up and when she caught sight of Hermione, she screamed and ran from the room.
Why? Does Hermione have bad breath or sumfink??? :P

Quote:

He shot a nasty glance at his assistant and slapped her in the face with the trout.
Dobby... so evil!!! Me like-y!!! :shifty:

Quote:

It was supposed to be haiku, but the only resemblance to those poems which sound like a sneeze (Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference) was that it followed the 5-7-5 syllable rule.
All of the haiku's were great... And I noticed that you're a huge fan of Buffy... :shifty:

Quote:

Dobby immediately hid his hands behind his back and looked defiantly at Hermione, “You is saying we should do what we want and I want pink fingers!”
Yes!!! Let Dobby do what he wants!!! Don't forget tofix your hair, Dobby!!!

I'm unofficial but I welcome you to our magical world...
:shifty: :shifty: :shifty:
*drags Cass, Otus and Zy to read this fic*
:shifty: :shifty: :shifty:

Lotus 02-02-2004 01:22 AM

*is dragged over by Edge*
Yes, I know, I was on my way when you started to drag me.

Kris I LOVED that it was Doby the Magnificent and Winky his assistant that were the magicians.............. :lol:
I was very well done for a first dare FF.
You've got the goods, to do some great writing.

:star: Welcome to the Elite!!! :star:
Feel free to advertise your membership in your siggy............and give us a dare!

Because you are such a good writer I will issue you with an Evil Army for you very own.
*looks around the Evil Army warehouse*
Here! Have the Evil :pig: Army.
They're Pig's and they're EVIL!!!
Haha, enjoy.

evlpez 02-02-2004 02:01 AM

Quote:

He stuck his arm into the kettle and came out with a trout. He shot a nasty glance at his assistant and slapped her in the face with the trout.
BRILLIANT.

Welcome to the Evil Elite! That was a great job! :star:

Biochemkris 02-02-2004 04:37 PM

Thanks guys! I can't wait to get started on a new dare. It might take me a little while to come up with one for you guys, though :lol:

Cassirin 02-02-2004 05:02 PM

Kris! I'm stalking you today!

Let me tell you: 1) I loved this fic. You did a good job. Excellent portions of good writing and randomness made this really fun to read. 2) Welcome to the Evil Elite... remember you get to change your siggy! If you want to be added to the first page of the EEFFC list, PM me a link to your story. It makes it easier for me somehow. 3) I look forward to whatever you'll come up with in the future!

Yay!

me4ron 02-07-2004 12:03 PM

yay, go you!
:monkey:
i loved it, hehehe, dobby with nail polish :lol: :lol: :lol:
welocme to the elite
:music: banana_wtf

and:
Quote:

Because you are such a good writer I will issue you with an Evil Army for you very own.
*looks around the Evil Army warehouse*
Here! Have the Evil  Army.
They're Pig's and they're EVIL!!!
Haha, enjoy.

wow, you get an Evil Army?
you must be good, i never got an Evil Army..... >_<

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:36 AM

YEAR 7: EPISODE 7
“Once More, With Feeling”

Disclaimer: Those unfamiliar with BtVS may become confused and disoriented. Those familiar with BtVS may become confused and disoriented, anyway.

PROLOGUE:
Last time, on “Harry the Boy Who Lived”: Harry Potter sacrificed himself by jumping into an interdimensional portal to save the world after his Glorificus ( :shifty: ) defeat of the Dark Lord Voldemort (who disappeared, yet again; surprise, surprise). Ron, afraid Harry had gotten himself trapped in a hell dimension, brought him back to life with the help of some of the rest of the Scoobies- Hermione, Neville, and Luna. Ginny has been struggling with kleptomania. Ron is struggling with an addiction to memory charms (Lockhart wanna-be, maybe? :huh: ). Dumbledore, deciding he was no longer needed after Harry was killed, went back to the United States, only to return the next day after finding out what Ron had done. Moaning Myrtle was the only one Harry could tell of his being ripped out of heaven by his friends (who still think they did him a favor by saving him from some unknown hell-dimension :o ).

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:39 AM

ACT ONE

1 INT. 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE : UPSTAIRS & KITCHEN – MORNING

It was as normal a day at number 12 Grimmauld Place, at least, as normal as days can be in a house full of wizards. Ginny beat everyone to the bathroom, again! Hermione found a wildflower under her pillow from Ron. Harry was putting on a brave face to cover his misery, as usual. In the kitchen, Dumbledore is making breakfast while Neville and Luna are reading The Quibbler.

2 EXT. HOGWARTS: QUIDDITCH PITCH – NIGHT
Harry is walking along the Quidditch pitch, pondering his last five years and his near-death experiences, when he suddenly bursts into song:

:music: "Going Through the Motions"
HARRY: (verse one)
Every single year, the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight.
Still I always feel this strange estrangement
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.
I've been making books of trading spells
Just hoping no one knows
That I've been going through the motions
Walking through the part.
Nothing seems to penetrate my scar.
HARRY: (verse two)
I was always brave, and kind of righteous.
Now I find I'm wavering.
Losing Sirius, you'll find this fight just
Doesn't mean a thing.
RANDOM DEMENTOR1: He ain't got that swing.
HARRY: Thanks for noticing.
DEMENTORS:
He does pretty well with fiends from hell
But lately we can tell
That he's just going through the motions
RANDOM DEMENTOR1: Going through the motions.
RANDOM DEMENTOR2: Faking it somehow.
[Harry casts “Expecto Patronum”- saving a beautiful girl, from the dementors]
DEMON: He's not even half the boy he- [looks down at his wound] ow.
HARRY:
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?
BEAUTIFUL GIRL: How can I repay-
HARRY:
Whatever.
I don't want to beeeeee...
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive.
I can't even see
If this is really me
And I just want to be-
Aliiiiiive.
(end :music: )

3 INT. 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE : KITCHEN– MORNING
Harry walks into the kitchen at Grimmauld Place to find Hermione and Ron putting things away and being very lovey-dovey with one another. Dumbledore and Luna were going over an article in The Quibbler. Neville was trying to tame his donut.

HARRY: So, uh… nothing going on?

(Murmurs of no, not really, not so much…)

HARRY: Good. So, um… last night, did anybody, oh… burst into song?

NEVILLE: Merlin’s beard!

(Everyone starts exclaiming that they thought they were the only ones and explaining the weirdness of their songs)

DUMBLEDORE: (to Harry) What did you sing about?

HARRY: I don’t remember. But, it seemed perfectly normal.

NEVILLE: But disturbing. And not the natural order of things and do you think it’ll happen again? ‘Cause I’m all for the natural order of things. I mean, the House Elves have stopped cooking because they are so disturbed by their sudden singing and dancing and…

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:40 AM

:music: "I've Got A Theory"
DUMBLEDORE:
I've got a theory
That it's a demon
A dancing demon!
No, something isn't right there.
RON:
I've got a theory
Some kid is dreamin'
And we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare.
(The editor isn’t sure how Ron knows about Broadway, but she liked this line too much to change it to something more appropriate)
NEVILLE: I've got a theory we should work this out.
LUNA/HERMIONE/RON/NEVILLE: It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?
NEVILLE: [jumps up]
It could be witches!
Some evil witches! [sees RON's and HERMIONE's expressions]
Which is ridiculous, 'cause witches they were persecuted,
Wicca good and love the earth and woman power
and I'll be over here. [sits]
(See editor’s note, above)
LUNA: I've got a theory! It could be bunnies!
(Silence. The others just stare at her)
HERMIONE: I've got a-
(Suddenly the tune changes to a frantic hard-rock beat with electric guitar and a roving spotlight that waves crazily over LUNA)
LUNA:
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!
They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses!
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
[playing air guitar]
Bunnies!
Bunnies!
It must be bunnies!
LUNA: (back to original melody) Or maybe midgets.
RON: (quickly sits down beside DUMBLEDORE and opens a book :huh: ) I've got a theory we should work this fast.
RON/DUMBLEDORE: Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed.
HARRY:
I've got a theory. It doesn't matter.
What can't we face if we're together?
What's in this place that we can't weather?
Voldemort?
We've all been there.
The same old trips
Why should we care?
ALL:
What can't we do if we get in it?
We'll work it through within a minute.
We have to try
We'll pay the price
It's do or die
HARRY: I've almost died six times.
(Pardon the interruption of the song, yet again, but the editor does realize that this line doesn’t fit with the music. The problem is that Harry hasn’t died twice like the original song proposed, so I had to tweak it a little. Thank you for your patience)
ALL: What can't we face if we're together?
DUMBLEDORE: (descant) What can't we face...
ALL: What's in this place that we can't weather?
DUMBLEDORE: ...if we're together...
ALL: There's nothing we can't face.
LUNA: (sits) Except for bunnies.
(end :music: )

NEVILLE: See, that was disturbing.

RON: I thought it was neat.

HARRY: So what’s causing it?

DUMBLEDORE: I thought it didn’t matter.

HARRY: Well, I’m not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable pink socks but, there’s definitely something unnatural going on. And that doesn’t usually lead to hugs and puppies.

LUNA: Well, is it just us?

Harry opens the door to the kitchen and sees Snape in the foyer with a big smile on his face, holding up a robe that looks like it has just gotten back from the dry cleaners. He sings: “They got, the Elmer’s glue out!” Then, the backup singers/dancers in the form of Tonks, Lupin, Mad-Eye Moody, and Kingsley Shacklebolt, all carrying their robes from the cleaners finished the number with, “They got the Elmer’s glue out!”

HARRY: (closing the door and turning back to the others) It’s not just us.

4 INT. 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE : KITCHEN– AFTERNOON
Ginny walks in from school.

GINNY: Oh my god, you’ll never believe what happened at school today.

HARRY: Everybody started singing and dancing.

GINNY: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.

LUNA: Oh my god! Did it sing?

GINNY: So you guys too, huh?

(Ginny sees a talisman on the counter and pockets it during the conversation.)

NEVILLE: So what’d you sing about?

GINNY: Arithmancy.

HERMIONE: That’s right! The volume! The text!

DUMBLEDORE: What text?

RON: The volumey… text…

HERMIONE: We just have a few volumes back in the Gryffindor common room that might be relevant.

DUMBLEDORE: Well I’m just a hair’s breadth from investigating bunnies at this point, so I’m open to anything.

RON: We’ll check it out and give you a call.

HERMIONE: Yeah, this could blow the whole thing wide open.

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:41 AM

5 EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS – AFTERNOON
Ron and Hermione begin walking back to their common room (Don’t ask me how they go back and forth between Hogwarts and Grimmauld Place. Just use your imagination)

HERMIONE: Do we have any books at all in the common room?

RON: Well who wants to stay cooped up on a day like this? The sun is shining, there’s songs going on, those guys are checking you out…

(Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle are giving Hermione the once over from a bit of a distance.)

HERMIONE: What are they looking at?

RON: The hotness of you, doofus.

HERMIONE: Those boys thought I was hot?

RON: Entirely.

HERMIONE (half-heartedly going after the boys): OMG. I’m cured! I want the Slytherins!

RON (tugging Hermione back): Do I have to fight to keep you?

:music: "Under Your Spell"
HERMIONE: (verse one)
I lived my life as a muggle
Never a robe or a wand.
It didn't seem so sad, though
I figured that was my place
Now I'm bathed in light [walking out from the shade, lifting her face to the sun]
Something just isn't right
Am I under your spell
How else could it be
Anyone would notice me?
It's magic, I can tell
How you set me free
Brought me out so easily.
HERMIONE: (verse two)
I saw a world enchanted
Spirits and charms in the air.
I always took for granted
I was the only one there.
But your power shone
Brighter than any I've known.
Am I under your spell
Nothing I can do
You just took my soul with you
You worked your charms so well
Finally, I knew
Everything I dreamed was true
You made me believe.
HOGWARTS CHICKS: Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh (etc...)
HERMIONE (verse two):
The moon to the tide
I can feel you inside
Am I under your spell
Surging like the sea
Pulled to you so helplessly
I break with every swell
Lost in ecstasy
Spread beneath my Ron tree
You make me complete!
You make me complete
You make me complete
You make me...
(end :music: )

6 INT. 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE : KITCHEN– AFTERNOON
The music cuts off abruptly as we see Neville:

NEVILLE: I bet they’re not even working.

HARRY: Who now?

NEVILLE: Ron and Hermione. You see the way they were with each other? The get-a-roominess of them. I’ll bet they’re… (he looks over at Ginny) …singing. They’re probably singing right now.

GINNY: It’s okay. I do know about this stuff. Mom and I had the singing talk a year ago. Besides, it’s all kind of romantic.

HARRY/NEVILLE: No it’s not.

GINNY: Come on, songs, dancing around… What’s gonna be wrong with that?

7 EXT. SOME RANDOM STREET – NIGHT
There’s a muggle man doing a wicked tap dance. He’s panicking because he can’t stop dancing. He starts to smoke, bursts into flames, and turns to dust. Voldemort appears out of the shadows.

VOLDEMORT: Now that’s entertainment.

BLACK OUT.

End of ACT ONE

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:42 AM

ACT TWO

8 INT. HOGWARTS: NEVILLE AND LUNA’S BEDROOM – MORNING

Neville and Luna wake up and are discussing breakfast when, you guessed it. They break out in song.

:music: "I'll Never Tell"
LUNA:
This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to be really weird
The Quibbler was mine!
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made, I'll trade for his
The only trouble is [pauses, shakes her head]
I'll never tell.
NEVILLE:
She is the one
She's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace.
Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight- [catches himself]
Embrace! Tight embrace! [hugs her]
I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - no.
I'll never tell.
BOTH: 'Cause there's nothing to tell.
LUNA: He snores.
NEVILLE: She wheezes.
LUNA: Say 'housework' and he freezes.
NEVILLE: [opens the fridge] She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe.
LUNA: I talk, he breezes.
NEVILLE: She doesn't know what ‘please’ is.
LUNA: He was cursed by a Death Eater and couldn’t talk right! (The editor had a tough time trying to make this particular line PG because it was just soo funny the way it was)
BOTH: The vibe gets kind of scary
NEVILLE: Like she thinks I'm ordinary
LUNA: Like it's all just temporary
NEVILLE: Like her toes are kind of hairy
BOTH:
But it's all very well
'Cause god knows, I'll never tell!
NEVILLE opens the newspaper. The headline reads: MAYHEM CAUSED. FLOSS CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED, OFFICIALS SAY.
LUNA:
When things get rough, he
Just hides behind his HARRY! [NEVILLE gives her a look]
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know.
NEVILLE
She clings
She's needy
She's also really greedy
She nev-
LUNA: His eyes are beady!
NEVILLE:
This is my verse, hello!
She-
(LUNA begins to dance in flapper style).
LUNA: (spoken) Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!
BOTH: You know...
NEVILLE: You're quite the charmer.
LUNA: My knight in armor.
NEVILLE:
You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple- [catches himself]
Tight embrace!
LUNA: He's swell
NEVILLE: She's sweller
LUNA: He'll always be my feller
NEVILLE: That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified.
LUNA:
I've read this tale
There's wedding, then betrayal
I know that come the day I'll want to run and hide.
BOTH:
I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But there's these fears I've can't quell
NEVILLE: Is she looking for a pot of gold?
LUNA: Will I look good when I've gotten old?
NEVILLE: Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?
LUNA: When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?
NEVILLE: Am I crazy?
LUNA: Am I dreamin'?
NEVILLE: Am I marrying a demon?
BOTH:
We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!
So, thank god, I'll never tell!
I swear that I'll never tell!
NEVILLE: My lips are sealed
LUNA: I take the Fifth
NEVILLE:
Nothing to see
Move it along
BOTH:
I'll never
Tell!
(end :music: )

9 EXT. ANOTHER RANDOM STREET – DAY
Neville and Luna are complaining to Dumbledore about their retro-pastiche number that would never become a breakaway pop hit. They revealed their fears about getting married to one another and now want the once fun singing and dancing their hearts out to stop. They are talking and while heading back to Grimmauld Place, they walk past the editor, singing to a muggle “please-man”.

DUMBLEDORE: But I have learned something disturbing… (becomes inaudible as we hear Kristi’s lament)

:music: KRISTI:
I’ve been having a bad, bad, day
Come on, won’t you put that pad away
I'm asking you please no
It isn't right, it isn't fair
There was no parking anywhere
I think that hydrant wasn't there
Why can't you let it go?
I think I've paid more than my share...
I’m just a poor girl, don’t you care…
Hey, I’m not wearing underwear…
(end :music: )

NEVILLE: Somebody set people on fire? That’s nuts!

LUNA: I don’t know. One more verse of our little dittie and I woulda been looking for the gas can…

DUMBLEDORE: Harry is looking for leads in the local ghost haunts… at least in theory, he is. He doesn’t seem to…

NEVILLE: He’s easing back in. We brought him back from an untold hell dimension, remember? Ergo, weirdness. The important thing is that you’re there for him.

DUMBLEDORE: (quietly confiding in NEVILLE) I’m helping him as much as I can, but…

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:44 AM

10 INT. HOGWARTS: MOANING MYRTLE’S BATHROOM – NIGHT
Harry walks into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. She appears out of her usual cubicle.

MYRTLE: The sun sets and he appears. Come to pump me for information?

HARRY: What else would I want to pump you for? I really said that, didn’t I?

MYRTLE: Yeah, well, I won’t bore you with the small talk. Don’t know a thing.

HARRY: What’s up? You’re all bad moody.

MYRTLE: It’s nothing. Glad you could stop by. (floats over to the door and looks back at Harry) It’s nothing.

HARRY: What?

:music: "Rest In Peace"
MOANING MYRTLE: (verse one)
I died
Fifty years ago.
But you can make me feel
Like it isn't so [shakes her head, floats back to the cubicles]
And why you come to be with me
I think I finally know…Mmm, mmm.
MOANING MYRTLE: (verse two)
You're scared
Ashamed of what you feel
And you can't tell the ones you love
You know they couldn't deal
Whisper in a dead girl's ear,
It doesn't make it real. [points to her head]
MOANING MYRTLE: (verse three)
That's great
But I don't wanna play.
'Cause being with you touches me
More than I can say.
But since I'm only dead to you
I'm saying stay away
And let me rest in peace.
MOANING MYRTLE: (refrain)
Let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me rest in peace!
MOANING MYRTLE: (verse four)
You know
You've got a willing slave [goes to her knees]
And you just love to play the thought
That you might misbehave. [HARRY rolls his eyes]
But till you do I'm telling you, [stands up]
Stop visiting my grave
And let me rest in peace.
MOANING MYRTLE: (bridge)
I know I should go
But I follow you like a girl possessed
There's a traitor here beneath my breast
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed [looking at HARRY]
If my heart could beat, it would break my chest
But I can see you're unimpressed
[angrily] So leave me be.
MOANING MYRTLE: (refrain)
And let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my VOLDEMORT release...
Let me rest in peace.
Why won't you
Let me rest in peace?
(end :music: )

Moaning Myrtle floats through Harry in an angry display of frustration at his complete lack of affection toward her and Harry walks out the bathroom door without a word.

MYRTLE: So… you’re not staying, then? (she cries out and splashes back into her toilet)

11 INT. GINNNY’S BEDROOM: HOGWARTS - NIGHT
Ginny dumps out her backpack onto her bed and Hermione walks in.

HERMIONE: Lotta homework?

GINNY: Arithmancy. It seemed so cool when we were singing about it…

HERMIONE: Well, Ron said they got a lead on this whole musical extravaganza evil. This demon that can be summoned.

GINNY: Do they know who summoned it?

HERMIONE: They don’t even know its name, yet. But Ron will find out. He’s the brainy type. :huh:

GINNY: I’m glad you guys made up. That whole fight you guys had about memory charms. IT gives me the belly rumblins when you guys fight.

HERMIONE: Ginny, we never talked about... Ginny, there’s something I need in the Library. Will you be okay for a little while?

GINNY: Yes, the fifteen year old can spend half an hour alone in her locked room.

HERMIONE: I won’t be long… (walks out)

Ginny turns away from the door Hermione just left through. She takes out the necklace she swiped from the kitchen at 12 Grimmauld Place and slowly puts it on while looking in the mirror.

:music: GINNY:
Does anybody even notice?
(opens a drawer to reveal numerous pilfered items)
Does anybody even care?

Ginny looks back up into the mirror and screams. She turns around to face 4 mermen, but before she can reach for her wand, they throw a bag over her head and abduct her :o

BLACK OUT

End ACT TWO

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:45 AM

ACT THREE

12 INT. SEA CAVE – NIGHT

Ginny awakens to find herself in a strange cave. She gets up and runs for the exit when suddenly, mermen start appearing, blocking her escape. (For the purpose of this narrative, mermen have the ability to move about on land) She runs back to try and find another way out, and still she is blocked by mermen. She performs a kind of ballet with them until she trips and falls at the feet of a man. She looks up into his snake-like face as he begins to sing and tap-dance.

:music: "That's What It's All About."
VOLDEMORT:
Why'd you run away?
Don't you like my ... style?
Why don't you come and play?
I guarantee a...
...great big smile.
I come from the
Imagination
And I'm here strictly by your
Invocation [holds up a scroll covered with writing]
So what do you say?
Why don't we dance awhile?
I'm the hot swing
I'm the twist and shout
When you gotta sing,
When you gotta ... let it out.
You call me and I come a-running [dances back toward Ginny]
I turn the music on
I bring the fun in
Now we're partyin'
That's what it's all about. [chuckles]
VOLDEMORT: 'Cause I know ... what you feel, girl.
VOLDEMORT: I know just what you feel, girl.
GINNY: (spoken, nervous) So ... you're like a good demon, now? Bringing the fun in?
VOLDEMORT: (smiles)
All these melodies ... [Ginny sits]
They go on too long
Then that energy
Starts to come on way too strong
All those hearts laid open, that must sting
Plus, some customers just start combusting
That's the penalty [dances back over to her]
When life is but a song.
You brought me down and doomed this town
So, when we blow this scene
Back we will go to my kingdom below
And you will be my queen
'Cause I know what you feel, girl [dances up onto the stage]
DAWN:
No, you see
You and me
Wouldn't be very regal
VOLDEMORT: I'll make it real, girl [dancing around the stage]
DAWN:
What I mean
I'm fifteen
So this queen thing's illegal
VOLDEMORT: [jumps back onto the floor]
I can bring whole cities to ruin
And still have time to get a soft-shoe in
DAWN:
Well, that's great
But I'm late
And I'd hate to delay him
VOLDEMORT: [dancing around her]
Something's cooking, I'm at the griddle
I bought Nero his very first fiddle
DAWN:
He’ll get ******
If I'm missed
See, my friend is Harry Potter
VOLDEMORT: (spoken) Harry Potter?
DAWN: (nods, nervously) Yuh-huh.
VOLDEMORT: (chuckles, turns to mermen minions) Find him. Tell him ... tell him everything. (Ginny looks nervous) Just get him here. I want to see Potter burn.
VOLDEMORT: ( :music: ) Now we're partying. That's what it's all about.
(end :music: )

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:46 AM

13 INT. HOGWARTS: D.A.D.A. CLASSROOM – NIGHT
Dumbledore is helping Harry to train for dueling. Harry makes some offhanded remarks about being spry for a corpse and Dumbledore is disturbed by his lack of interest in the world around him. They prepare for the duel.

HARRY: I’m ready.

:music: "Standing"
(Harry and Dumbledore practice dueling during the song)
DUMBLEDORE:
You're not ready for the world outside
You keep pretending, but you just can't hide
I know I said that I'd be standing by your side
But I...
Your path's unbeaten and it's all uphill
And you can meet it, but you never will
And I'm the reason that you're standing still
But I...
I wish I could say the right words
To lead you through this land.
Wish I could play the father
And take you by the hand [reaching out his hand, then pulls it back]
Wish I could stay
But now I understand
I'm standing in the way.
(As DUMBLEDORE continues singing, we cut to the magic shop. HERMIONE walks in as RON has his back turned. RON doesn't see HERMIONE).
DUMBLEDORE: Your friends’ cries, you won't hear at all
(HERMIONE walks quickly toward the back, crying, looking at the herb in her hand, begins to climb the steps to the loft.)
DUMBLEDORE:
'Cause you know I'm here to take that call
So you just lie there when you should be standing tall
But I...
I wish I could lay your arms down
And let you rest at last
Wish I could slay your demons
But now that time has passed
Wish I could stay
We start with standing fast
But I’m standing in the way.
DUMBLEDORE: I'm just standing ... in the way.
(end :music: )

HARRY: (turns to Dumbledore) Did you say something?

Dumbledore just looks at him.

14 INT. HOGWARTS: D.A.D.A. Classroom - CONTINUING – NIGHT
Hermione looks in a book and sees a picture of the wildflower she had found from Ron. The text next to the picture reads: “Lethe’s Bramble. Used for augmenting spells of forgetting and mind control.” Hermione looks over at Ron, stricken, and begins to sing:

:music: "Under Your Spell/Standing: Reprise"
HERMIONE:
I'm under your spell
God, how can this be?
Playing with my memory
You know I've been through hell
Ron, don't you see?
There'll be nothing left of me
You made me believe.
DUMBLEDORE: Believe me, I don't wanna go
DUMBLEDORE/HERMIONE: And it'll grieve me 'cause I love you so
(Ron and Harry are talking, oblivious to the singing)
DUMBLEDORE/HERMIONE: But we both know
DUMBLEDORE(in duet):
Wish I could say the right words
To lead you through this land
Wish I could play the father
And take you by the hand
HERMIONE(in duet):
Wish I could trust that it was just this once
But I must do what I must
I can't adjust to this disgust
We're done and I just
DUMBLEDORE/HERMIONE:
Wish I could stay
Wish I could stay
Wish I could stay
Wish I could stay...
(end :music: )

Moaning Myrtle comes bursting in at the end of the song, shoving one of the merman in before her.

MYRTLE: Lookie lookie what I found.

RON: Is this the demon guy?

MYRTLE: Works for him. Has a nice little story for Harry, don’t you? (pushes the merman forward) Come on, then. Sing.

MERMAN: (speaking The mermen refused to sing) The Dark Lord has Harry’s friend hostage in the Sea Cave because she summoned him and at midnight he’s gonna take her to the Death Eaters to be his Queen.

DUMBLEDORE: What does he want?

MERMAN: (pointing to Harry) Him. Plus chaos and insanity and muggles and mudbloods burning up…

The merman swims away (The editor would like to note again that the mermen have incredible powers to move about on land)

HERMIONE: I just left her for a minute…

HARRY: It’s not your fault. Dumbledore, what’s the plan?

NEVILLE: Plan, shman, lets mount up!

DUMBLEDORE: No.

(everyone turns to him, shocked)

LUNA: Ginny may have had the wrong idea in summoning the Dark Lord but I’ve read about some of these child-bride deals and they never end well. Maybe once.

RON: We’re not just gonna stay here…

DUMBLEDORE: Yes we are. Harry is going alone.

15 INT./EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS & SEA CAVE – NIGHT
Harry leaves the D.A.D.A. classroom in order to go to the Sea Cave and save Ginny from Voldemort. Unbeknownst to him, his friends decide to come and help him, after all, and follow soon after Harry leaves. Harry reductor curses down the door of the Sea Cave. It smashes to pieces.

VOLDEMORT: Showtime! (evil laugh :evil: )

BLACK OUT

End ACT THREE

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:48 AM

ACT FOUR

16 INT. SEA CAVE – NIGHT

Harry walks into the cave and faces Voldemort. The merman slowly surround Harry from behind.

VOLDEMORT: I love a good entrance.

HARRY: How are you with death scenes?

VOLDEMORT: (evil laugh :evil: )

GINNY: Harry, I swear I didn’t do it.

HARRY: Don’t worry, you’re not going anywhere. (to Voldemort) Deal’s this: I can’t kill you, you torture me in her place.

VOLDEMORT: What if I kill you?

HARRY: Trust me. It won’t help.

VOLDEMORT: That’s gloomy.

HARRY: That’s life.

VOLDEMORT: Come now, is that really how you feel?

HARRY: I think you already know…

:music: "Life"
HARRY: (verse one)
Life's a show and we all play our parts
And when the music starts
We open up our hearts.
It's all right if something’s come out wrong
We'll sing a happy song
And you can sing along.
Where there's life there's hope
Every day's a gift
Wishes can come true
Whistle while you work
So hard
All day
To be like other students.
To fit into this glittering world.
Don't give me songs.
(Dumbledore, Luna, Neville, Ron, and Hermione run in)
DUMBLEDORE: (spoken) He needs backup. Luna, Hermione.
HARRY: Don't give me songs.
(Luna and Hermione take up positions behind Harry to be his backup singers and dancers. The three of them move in sync.)
HARRY: Give me something to sing about.
LUNA/HERMIONE: Ahhhhh...
HARRY: I need something to sing about.
LUNA/HERMIONE: Ahhhhh...
HARRY: (verse two)
Life's a song you don't get to rehearse.
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse.
Still my friends don't know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be dancing for.
All the joy life sends
Family and friends
All the twists and bends
Knowing that it ends
Well that
Depends
On if they let you go
On if they know enough to know
That when you've bowed
You leave the crowd.
HARRY: (verse three)
There was no pain
No fear, no doubt
Till they pulled me out of Heaven.
So that's my refrain.
I live in Hell
'Cause I've been expelled from Heaven
I think I was in Heaven
So give me something to sing about.
Please give me something...
(Harry dances wildly and starts to smoke when Moaning Myrtle comes in and stops him)
MOANING MYRTLE: (verse four)
Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this: it's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal by living
You have to go one living
So one of us is living.
(Harry stares at Moaning Myrtle. Ginny walks forward).
GINNY: (spoken) The hardest thing in this world ... is to live in it.
(end :music: )

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:49 AM

VOLDEMORT: Now that was a showstopper. Not quite the fireworks I was looking for…

RON: (devastated by Harry’s revelation) Get out of here.

VOLDEMORT: Hmm.. I guess the little missus and I should be on our way.

DUMBLEDORE: That’s never gonna happen.

VOLDEMORT: I don’t make the rules; she summoned me.

GINNY: I so did not! He keeps saying that!

VOLDEMORT: You have my talisman on, sweet thing.

(Ginny looks down at the necklace she is wearing)

GINNY: Oh! But…no! The kitchen at Grimmauld Place… I was cleaning and I forgot to… But I didn’t summon anything.

VOLDEMORT: Well now, that’s a twist.

DUMBLEDORE: If it was at Grimmauld Place, that means one of us had to…

(Neville raises his hand)

LUNA: Neville!

NEVILLE: I didn’t know what was going to happen! I just heard, you know, revelries and song and… I wanted to be sure we’d work out. Get a happy ending.

VOLDEMORT: (laughs) And I think it worked out just fine.

NEVILLE: Does this mean I have to… be your queen?

VOLDEMORT: It’s tempting. But I think we’ll waive that clause just this once. Big smiles, everyone: you beat the bad guy!

:music: "See You In Hell"
VOLDEMORT: (same tune as his first number)
What a lot of fun
You guys have been real swell
And there's not a one
Who can say this ended well
All those secrets you've been concealing
Say you're happy now- once more with feeling.
Now I gotta run
See you all...
(He turns into a ball of light that swirls around their heads, leaving a sparkly trail. They watch it go).
VOLDEMORT: ...in heeeeeeell!
(end :music: )

Everyone is standing around, more alone than ever.

:music: "Where Do We Go From Here?"
GINNY: Where do we go ... from here? [walks over to join the others]
HARRY/MOANING MYRTLE: Where do we go ... from here?
DUMBLEDORE: The battle's done and we kind of won
DUMBLEDORE/HERMIONE:
So we sound our victory cheer
Where do we go from here?
LUNA/NEVILLE:
Why is the path unclear
When we know home is near?
ALL:
Understand we'll go hand in hand [all join hands]
But we'll walk alone in fear. [all release hands and walk off in different directions]
Where do we go from here?
When does the end appear?
When do the trumpets cheer?
The curtains close on a kiss, god knows
We can tell the end is near.
Where do we go from here?
(end :music: )

BLACK OUT

THE END

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:51 AM

I apologize for the EXTREMELY long story. But, I just couldn't help myself. Please don't kick me out of the eilite!! :lol:


Cassirin's dare:
*There must be mention of: Elmer's glue, floss, and pink socks.
*For some reason, the house elves have trouble with their cooking.
*The Merpeople must play a prominent role in the fic.
*Someone must say, "Is that a...? Why, yes, I believe it is..." and run away screaming.
*There must be a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference of some sort (and the more familiar you are with the show, the more specific your ref can be).
Due date: 15th Feb.

Cassirin 02-16-2004 06:02 AM

Kris... maybe I'm the only person in the world right now who thinks this is all kinds of amazing and wonderful... but I DO!

So good, so witty... I love BUFFY. And Kris!

Biochemkris 02-16-2004 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cassirin@Feb 15 2004, 11:42 PM
Kris... maybe I'm the only person in the world right now who thinks this is all kinds of amazing and wonderful... but I DO!

So good, so witty... I love BUFFY. And Kris!

Thanks. It was a bit long, and it was kinda tough figuring out which characters to replace which characters, but it was just too fun an opportunity to pass up. I'm glad you liked my "reference" to BtVS :lol:

Shacklebolt 02-21-2004 03:29 AM

BRILLIANT!

I really love it Kris.

Keep it up.

so loooooooooooooooooooooooooong


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