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BertieBot, Gildebot_LockHart | 
04-07-2008, 11:37 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Horklump
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 62
|  Another Triwizard - Sa9+
Hi! This is my first FF on Snitch Seeker.  I have much more written, but I would like to know what you think of the story before I post more. I am open to constructive criticism and I'd like to know what I can improve.
It had been six years since that redheaded little girl had begged her father to let her go to Hogwarts early. The now much older Lily Potter was on The Hogwarts Express headed for her fourth year at school. At the moment she was having what she liked to call a "heated discussion", otherwise known as an argument, with her friend Lacey Elman.
"Oh, come off it Lace," pleaded fourteen year old Lily to her friend.
"I will not!" Lacey exclaimed furiously."Hugo back me up!" she demanded to Lily's cousin.
Hugo calmly replied," No. This is your problem and I don't want to get involved."
Like I said earlier, I have Six more pages ready so I will post again soon.
- Anna | 
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04-15-2008, 12:53 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Horklump
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 62
|  No one replied:(
No one replied? Oh well. I'll get over it. Here is another page.
By the time they had arrived, Lacey had accepted that Lily would just not give up. " I'm trying out for quidditch and you are noy going to stop me."Lily had said quite defiantly. Lily and Lacey watched the sorting with Hugo, then as headmistress Souci made her annoucements , Lily found out something that would change the rest of her year.
"No!" Lily mumbled "I can't do quidditch this year! I trained and trained all summer and now they have to do a stupid triwizrad tournament." "Stupid? Stupid? I must have heard you wrong. Did you just call it stupid?" aksed Lacey, who could not believe that her friend, the famous Harry Potters daughter, called a triwizard tournament stupid. Lily replied harshly,"Yes. I did. And if you have a problem I-" "All contestants must be 17 or older to cross the age line. I think you all must know what happened at the last tournament." Almost everyone in the great hall nodded. It seemed impossible that someone wouldn't know.
Over at a differant table, someone saw the look of dissapointment that had crossed Lily face and was determined to do something about it. Someone no one would ever suspect.
The next morning, despite the last nights events, Lily woke Lacey up cheerfully at 5:30 to get ready for class."Lily," Lacey said grumpily," why do we have to get up so early? We could've slept two more hours." " Lacey, really, didn't you hear that we have three new professors? I don't know who they are but we need to make a good first impression." After much arguing Lily finally persuaded her friend to come to class early. Lily really wanted to meet the new charms teacher, and since charms was her favorite subject she ran most of the way there when she stopped dead in her tracks.
Please tell me what you think.
yours truly,
Anna
Last edited by bookworm007 : 04-19-2008 at 01:02 AM.
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04-15-2008, 02:27 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Hippocampus
Location: In my mind Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 275
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Billy-Jean Bennet
First Year | First reader
hello there
great start
i like lily fan fics
why did she stop????
please post soon
love voldyXOXOXOXOXOX | |
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04-15-2008, 07:26 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Chizpurfle
Location: England Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 744
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Tinkerbell(Bell) Sabrina Evens
Second Year |
second reader yey...
I think this is great soooooooo far, i wonder why she stopped????? please post more soon
Love Evangeline Hermione | |
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04-16-2008, 06:53 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Bowtruckle
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 257
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Yvonne Ginevra Potter
First |
THIRD READER!!!!
Good ff!!!poor lily!!I suspect she has harry's seeker blood>.>
Yvonne | |
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04-16-2008, 07:15 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Hippocampus
Location: Hogwarts Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 304
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Vanessa Lillian Lane
First |
it was good but is Cedric had died last time why did they lower the age limit? Just wondering! | |
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04-16-2008, 07:23 PM
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#7 (permalink)
|  Trevor FinderJobberknoll
Location: in harry's trunk Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 467
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Naomi Cambridge
First Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Zoey Cambridge
Magical Law Enforcement |
its good i can't wait for more!!!! and dont fret about people not posting they may have still read it. | |
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04-16-2008, 07:55 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Horklump
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 62
|  Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!
People posted!!!!!!!!! Yes. Dark Emeralds thats a really good question. I guess I never relized that they would probably make the age limit higher. I'll go back and change that. I am so excited! I will post more soon but my friend Hazel and I are going outside on the zipline when my Mom gets back which will any second now. Thanks again for posting.
-Anna | |
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04-16-2008, 08:19 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Hippogriff
Location: Revision Land Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,377
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sabrina Dumbledore
First Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Ariana Dumbledore
Department of Mysteries |
New Reader!! I wonder who is going to change Lily's opinion???
Please post soon!!! Am eagerly waiting the next post!!! *sets up a tent, lights a fire, and starts singing Kumbaya* (No idea why I am, but I am) 
PAMS!!!
Jemmz
xxx | 
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04-17-2008, 05:30 AM
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#10 (permalink)
|  Wandering RegulusHippogriff
Location: in nothingness Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,489
Hogwarts RPG Name:
srimathi srivatsan
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heheh!cool story!probably malfoy's teaching charms  !!!
PAMS!PAMS!!*Waiting for more**joins up sabrina in the tent* | |
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04-17-2008, 05:50 AM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Hippogriff
Location: Revision Land Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,377
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sabrina Dumbledore
First Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Ariana Dumbledore
Department of Mysteries |
*Offers MAthI a plate of cookies*
You're probably right, that or one of her family members is the new charms teacher!!! :O | |
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04-17-2008, 05:03 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Horklump
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 62
| I'm back
I'm sorry I but I wont be able to post until Monday. I'm very busy now because my birthday is Sunday, my party is Saturday and I have a sleep over tonight. I'd post now but I'm trying to cook lunch for my brother and sister. I'll try to post tomorrow if
i can.
-Anna | |
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04-17-2008, 07:43 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Hippogriff
Location: Revision Land Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,377
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sabrina Dumbledore
First Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Ariana Dumbledore
Department of Mysteries |
 Well.. early birthday anyways! 
Your weekend sounds booked!! Have a good one! We'll just expect a longer post on Monday lol!
Only joking... or am I??!!??!!
Love,
Jemmz and Sabrina
xxx
P.S. This is from Sabrina    | |
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04-19-2008, 03:48 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| | Jarvey
Location: where the stage is Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 140
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Charlotte Tonks
First Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Beth Wends
Magical Transportation |
new reader! keep writing i want to see what u will do with the plot!! great story so far by the way!!  | |
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04-19-2008, 03:58 PM
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#15 (permalink)
| | Dugbog
Location: Denmark.. Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 674
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Destiny Love Moonlight
First Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Sorena Evans Malietta
Department of Mysteries |
Wow. You're good! | |
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04-19-2008, 05:14 PM
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#16 (permalink)
| | Chizpurfle
Location: England Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 744
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Tinkerbell(Bell) Sabrina Evens
Second Year |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HOPE YOU HAVE/HAD A GREAT DAY???? | |
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04-20-2008, 02:21 PM
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#17 (permalink)
| Wandering Regulus Hippogriff
Location: in nothingness Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,489
Hogwarts RPG Name:
srimathi srivatsan
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EDIT;Double post!!grrrr!please delete!! | |
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04-20-2008, 02:22 PM
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#18 (permalink)
| Wandering Regulus Hippogriff
Location: in nothingness Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,489
Hogwarts RPG Name:
srimathi srivatsan
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Happy Birthday!!  | |
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04-21-2008, 12:45 AM
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#19 (permalink)
| | Horklump
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 62
|  Hi
Help me! I might be to busy to post tomorrow! I can't find any time for computer anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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04-21-2008, 01:58 AM
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#20 (permalink)
| Trevor Finder Jobberknoll
Location: in harry's trunk Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 467
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Naomi Cambridge
First Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Zoey Cambridge
Magical Law Enforcement |
i know how that is! i really should be studying not on here right now | |
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04-21-2008, 07:17 AM
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#21 (permalink)
| | Chizpurfle
Location: England Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 744
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Tinkerbell(Bell) Sabrina Evens
Second Year |
well just take your time, i'll stay here, im not leaving this wonderful post. Hehehe.
I know whats it like not finding time for the computer. I haev my SATs in a few weeks and i should be revising. Help!!!! Hehehehe Lol!!!
xXEvangelineXx | |
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04-21-2008, 07:26 AM
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#22 (permalink)
| Wandering Regulus Hippogriff
Location: in nothingness Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,489
Hogwarts RPG Name:
srimathi srivatsan
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SAt?? 
Well take your time...we can wait
... and i'm supposed to be studying right now!!hehehe! 
*takes a cookie from sabrina* | |
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04-21-2008, 03:40 PM
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#23 (permalink)
| | Hippogriff
Location: Revision Land Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,377
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sabrina Dumbledore
First Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Ariana Dumbledore
Department of Mysteries |
I'm meant to be studying as well... I have the equivelent of OWLs coming up from next Friday!!!
I can wait... I just need to make more cookies!!
Jemmz
xxx | |
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04-21-2008, 04:06 PM
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#24 (permalink)
| | Chizpurfle
Location: England Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 744
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Tinkerbell(Bell) Sabrina Evens
Second Year |
Quote:
Originally Posted by MAthI^_^  SAt??
Well take your time...we can wait
... and i'm supposed to be studying right now!!hehehe!
*takes a cookie from sabrina* | What i mean by SATs is that i have my real SATs in two weeks time. Help, i havn't revised at all yet. Better get revising
*Pulls out revision books*
luv ya
xXEvangelineXx | |
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04-22-2008, 12:40 AM
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#25 (permalink)
| | Bowtruckle
Location: N.S.W, Australia Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 258
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Steven Westaway
First
Ministry RPG Name:
Steven Westaway
Magical Law Enforcement |
fantastic Story! | |
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Have a very Harry day!!
