Students: 5644
Classes: 15
Professors: 15
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03-09-2008, 04:29 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
|  Neville, Brave At Heart - Sa13+
Awesomie Banner, made by MathI ^ ^ herself from ~*The Lost Book Of Graphics*~
Hi Peoples, my name is Gabrielle. Um.. Well, this is my first FF and I don't know if it will be any good. Let me know what you think. Heads up, I stink at spelling, so tell me if I spelt anything wrong or made any other mistakes. In the books, J.K. Rowling writes in Harry's point of view. well this is in Neville's point of view, what Neville is doing and thinking, so I hope you like it. Oh and there is somethings that will be differnt from the book, but alot of things will be the same.
A round faced boy with mousy brown hair and blue eyes was dragging a trunk behind him, as he ran to catch the train as it's whistle blew. He spotted a door that had been left open and ran quickly as the train started to move. He jumped and landed face first, with his trunk still in his hand and his feet hanging out of the train as it picked up speed and turned the corner. He stood up, wiped the dirt off himself, and checked his pocket to feel a lump in it. With a sigh of relief, he started to walk down the train's hall way, looking for a compartment. Near the back of the train, he found an empty compartment except for a girl with bushy brown hair readind the book, Hogwarts, a History. The boy opened the compartment and was about to say hello, when the girl spoke with a bit of a high voice,"Hi, I'm Hermione Granger". The boy looked at her for a moment, then said, "Hi Hermione, I'm Neville Longbottom, May I join you?" Hermione nodded and continued to read her book while Neville pushed his trunk under the seat opposite of Hermione's and sat down. He checked his pocker again, but this time, there was no lump. "Oh no, I lost Trever" moaned Neville as he got on his hands and knees, looking under the seat. "Who's Trever?" Hermione asked, "He's my toad!" Neville said in a worried voice.
Edit: I know that's really short, but that's just like.... I don't know, but all the other Chapters will be longer. 
Last edited by Hufflepuffyness : 04-16-2008 at 10:28 PM.
Reason: The Awesomie Banner!
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03-10-2008, 04:55 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Crup
Location: SS, duh Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,300
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Delilah Parkingston
First
Ministry RPG Name:
Isabella Longbottom
Magical Games & Sports |
I have no clue why I'm your first reader, this story is really good. And you will get a lot of Neville lovers. PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS PAMS | |
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03-10-2008, 08:22 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
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OMG!!! Someone read my FF *freaks out*
YAY!!! I will post later today, but I first have to finish my home work, I wrote this chapter at during science... | |
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03-10-2008, 09:30 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Kappa
Location: defying gravity Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,013
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Maura Felicia Silvermoon
First
Ministry RPG Name:
Violet Lakeshell
Magical Creatures |
Oh wow, this is so good! You're a good writer. (Why have only eric_2007al_2006 and me posted on this??) I think that this FF is even better than mine. Which I technically can't say yet because it's only one chapter. I meant so far. | |
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03-11-2008, 02:42 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
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Sorry for the delay, I forgot that I had to baby sit, and I am a SUPER slower typer, I hope to have it up soon. | |
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03-11-2008, 02:51 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
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^ Thanks hrmy_lvr_4evr and eric_2007al_2006, My two fans  !!! YAY! and hrmy_luv, I've read your FF, yours are WAY better.... Trust me!
Ch. 2
Hermione put down her book and looked around. "I'll stay here" she said "You go and look around in other compartments." and Neville was out of the compartment with out another word. He asked everybody in every conpartment if they had seen his toad, but they all said they hadn't. As Neville got closer to the the front of the train, he got more worried. And when he got to the last conpartment, which had a red haired boy and a boy with black hair and glasses, Neville freaked out," I've lost him! He keeps getting away from me!"
"he'll turn up" said the boy with the glasses, reassuringly
"Well, if you see him-" and Neville shut the compartment door and slowly made his way back to the back of the train. When he got back to the compartment, Hermione's butt was up in the air and her head under the seat, trying to see if Trevor was there, Neville guessed. He closed the door behind him and sat down. Hermione took her head out from under the seat "any luck", she asked as she, still on her knees, picked up her book, looked under it, and put it back. "How about I go look, just to make sure." Hermione asked as she stood up and looked at Neville, who was getting quite hungry. He nodded and she left. About a half-an-hour later, Hermione turned up and sat down her seat with a sigh. "Sorry Neville"
"Its not you fault, and don't worry, he alwas turns up sooner or later", Neville told her. There was a bell noise, and Neville turned to see a big colorful trolly out side the compartment door. A woman slid the door back "Anything off the trolly, dears?"
"Yes" Neville replied " two chocolate frogs and a Cauldron Cake."
"four knuts, dear."
Neville took off his sock (he kept his money there so he wouldn't loose it), took out 4 knuts, gave them to the lady and took his sweets. A few hours past, Hermione and Neville had changed into there robes and were talking about what house they wanted to be in when the train stopped. Hernione left the compartment while Neville did some last minute looking for his toad. He didn't find Trevor and left the compartment. But, he had to run back in there, because he forgot his trunk, then he had to run back in there again, because he wasn't suppose to have your trunk. When Neville finally got off the train, he heard a voice call, "Firs' years, firs' years over here!" Neville followed the voice at a run. He was behind everyone else and he heard the voice again "Firs' years, follow me."
I know that is really short, but I thought it would be longer, it took up 3 pages of notebook paper... | |
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03-11-2008, 10:56 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Glumbumble
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 208
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Yvonne Ginevra Potter
First |
Yay!! I'm the 3rd reader!!!congrats hufflepuffyness!!I'm Yvonne!!
This ff is awesome! | |
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03-12-2008, 01:41 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
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OMG!!!!! ANOTHER RAEDER!!!
welcome Yvonne....... YAY!!
P.S. I will post in a couple day..... GO SOX!!! | |
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03-12-2008, 06:46 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Plimpy
Location: Revision Land Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,050
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sabrina Dumbledore
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This is soooo good so far!! Well done! PAMS! | |
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03-12-2008, 08:35 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Kappa
Location: defying gravity Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,013
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Maura Felicia Silvermoon
First
Ministry RPG Name:
Violet Lakeshell
Magical Creatures |
Quote: | and hrmy_luv, I've read your FF, yours are WAY better.... Trust me! | Hrmy luv. I like it. (Don't know if that was a typo, but it may become my nickname, writing "hrmy_lvr_4evr" gets tedious.)
Well, thanks I guess...
Love the chapter! PAMS! | |
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03-12-2008, 09:02 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
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^umm............ It was a typo
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I see I have a new reader.... *screams*
Welcome Sabrina Snape. I'm suprised that I have any readers at all! In english, my last writing assighnment got a C-, She said I need to work on not using the word 'said' so much, which is true, but I don't think that would get me a C-....
and peoples,hrmy_luv's Super good FF is The Hogwarts four you guys should all read it.
Last edited by Hufflepuffyness : 03-13-2008 at 02:56 AM.
Reason: Bad speller...... spelt reader wrong, *blushes*
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03-13-2008, 02:05 PM
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#12 (permalink)
|  Urdu Mod
♥ SotS0palSotS ♥
JPFC Pres
KasTanBugbear
Location: { insandsandheels} Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 12,360
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Shel Ambrose
Sixth
Ministry RPG Name:
Corranda Melvicks
Special Ops |
You have a nice way with words, but you could work on spacing. Leave an extra line between paragraphs, and you're all set, hun. 
Keep the posts coming. =]
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03-14-2008, 02:15 AM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SenoritaMaxie  You have a nice way with words, but you could work on spacing. Leave an extra line between paragraphs, and you're all set, hun.
| thanks for the advice!!! I hope to have the next chapter up this weekend! | |
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03-14-2008, 03:43 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| | Plimpy
Location: Far away... Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,138
Hogwarts RPG Name:
[[Sebastian Milan]]
Second |
I'm going to hug you because you have such a good book!
*Hugging Huffypuffyness AND Neville, 'cause he's cool..* | |
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03-20-2008, 08:17 PM
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#15 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
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I'll post later today or tommorow
Sorry it has been so long, I've had SO much homework lately, but now it is spring break, and I will start to pick up the pace on my posts, I hope....
OMG!!!! a new reader!! Hi Sebastian Milan welcome!!!!
(I now have 6 readers, eep)
Last edited by Hufflepuffyness : 03-21-2008 at 12:18 AM.
Reason: or tommorow
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03-21-2008, 06:54 AM
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#16 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
|  Ch. 3
When Neville finally caught up with everyone, they were getting into boats by a lake. Neville shared a boat with Hermione and the boys in the compartment in the front of the train.
The red haired boy who had freckals and long legs' name was Ron Weasley.
The other boy with black hair and glasses was Harry Potter.
Neville had heard his story many times, for Neville's grandma wouldn't let him forget it. Voldemort, the darkest wizard who ever lived, killed Harry's parents, but when he tried to kill Harry, it didn't work something went wrong, what ever happened, it made Voldemort go away, Harry had become famous, he was called The boy who lived.
Neville had just noticed the scar on his forhead that was shaped like a lightning bolt.
They went in to a tunnel that seemed to be leading under the school untill they pulled in to a shore. They got out of the boat clampered on to rocks and pebbles.
"Oy! You there! Is this your toad?" Said a man who looked as if he were half giant.
"Trevor!" cried Neville blissfully, holding out his hands. Trevor jumped in them, Neville put him in his pocket and started to walk up to the castle with the other students.
They soon were were walking up a flight of stone steps and crowded around the huge, oak, front door.
"Everyone here?" said the abnormally big man as he knocked on the castle door with his garbage can lid like hands.
At once the doors opened to reveal a witch in emerald green robes, and black hair, who wasn't even smiling.
"firs' years, Professor McGongall" said the huge man.
"Thank you Hagrid, I will take it from here."
The big man named Hagrid stomped off past the first years and went down to the school yard out of sight.
Professor McGongall pulled the doors open. the entrance hall was so big, it looked like it could fit a small house in it. There was torches at every corner. The ceiling was so high, I don't know, it was just really high. A marble stair case was facing them, it led to the upper floors. Everyone followed McGonagall as she led them down a hallway to the left of the stair case.
Neville could feel his blood boil as he reached two more oak doors. The test that told him which house he will be was behind these doors, he just knew it. He hadden't given it much thaught intill now...
OK, OK... I know,a really short chapter, but next chapter is the sorting, and it will be WAY longer. But it will kinda be like rereading, because it's almost excactly what JKR said, but in Neville's piont of view.... So yeah. | |
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03-21-2008, 09:37 AM
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#17 (permalink)
| | Plimpy
Location: Revision Land Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,050
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sabrina Dumbledore
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Hi... finally you posted!!!
I'm loving this post... in the Harry Potter books, you never get anyone's point of view of the boat journey, but you captured it just like I imagined it!!!!!
Jemmz/Sabrina | |
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03-21-2008, 12:13 PM
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#18 (permalink)
| | Glumbumble
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 208
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Yvonne Ginevra Potter
First |
Great job Hufflepuffyness! Keep it going!
Yvonne | |
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03-21-2008, 07:08 PM
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#19 (permalink)
| | Plimpy
Location: Far away... Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,138
Hogwarts RPG Name:
[[Sebastian Milan]]
Second |
Mmh, I still like it.. 'Cause it has Neville in it! | |
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03-21-2008, 07:32 PM
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#20 (permalink)
| | Horklump
Location: Everywhere Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 65
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sienna LeStrange
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OhMyGwad! New reader!
PAMS PAMS! | |
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03-21-2008, 07:51 PM
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#21 (permalink)
| | Grindylow
Location: Forks,WA (I Wish!) Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 903
Hogwarts RPG Name:
unsorted
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Thank You guys SO much. I will post the next chapter with in a week, I hope.
Thank you guys SO much. you guys are great.
(Welcome Crush! Crush! Crush!)
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03-22-2008, 12:04 AM
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#22 (permalink)
| | Bowtruckle
Location: In my mind Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 242
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New reader here
This is great
keep up the good work
Love VOldyXOXOXOXOXOX | 
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03-22-2008, 09:02 PM
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#23 (permalink)
| | Kappa
Location: defying gravity Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,013
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Maura Felicia Silvermoon
First
Ministry RPG Name:
Violet Lakeshell
Magical Creatures |
Yay! You put up the new chapter! You did the boat scene really well too. | |
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03-22-2008, 09:10 PM
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#24 (permalink)
|  Trevor FinderRamora
Location: wonder why i took 15 Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 364
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Naomi Cambridge
First
Ministry RPG Name:
Zoey Cambridge
Magical Law Enforcement |
wow this is really good. i cant wait for the next chapter!!!!!!! post it soon!!!!! | |
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Have a very Harry day!!
