| Puffskein
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 2,438
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sub-rosa
1. Carried out secretly or confidentially
2. (adv.) In secret or covertly; privately or confidentially
Chapter 34
The Graduation
I was fidgeting. Since the moment I woke up I either had something in my hands, toying with it, or I played with my graduation robes. Aurelia was pulling down the bottom of the robes and I was pulling at the sleeves, the fabric in between my fingers.
“Stop doing that!” Aurelia snapped.
“Sorry,” I responded absentmindedly, my hands still playing with the sleeves.
“What’re you anxious about? It won’t be that bad.” Aurelia stood up and pulled down the robes a bit, making it more form-fitting. “Stop that,” she repeated sharply, swatting at my hands. I recoiled, effectively dropping them from my sleeves. “I deem you ready.”
I looked into the mirror and started to change my hair. It took awhile; I decided I would please my mum for the first time in awhile and show I do ‘appreciate my hair’, and have something to start with explaining to Harry everything he needed to know, I went totally blonde. When I saw it, I cringed but fought the urge to change it completely, and instead added a chocolate brown beneath. I did put one streak of purple on the right side for much-needed flair. Aurelia chuckled at this. I then used a series of spells that added some volume and enhanced my wave from the ear down, making it almost curly.
“Could you do something for me?” Aurelia asked hopefully.
“No problem.” After all, she did put up with helping me put on the graduation robes over top of my clothes, my fidgeting, occasional babbles...
I moved back and she took my place in front of the mirror.
“Anything in specific?” I asked. “Natural, how I like it, straight, wavy, curly...?”
“Go for any colour, I’m kind of in the mood for change. Just... don’t do a full head of purple and pink and a blue fringe or something.”
I smiled; a blue fringe? I’d never thought of that one before...
Keeping that thought in the back of my mind for later, I started to work on her hair. It took awhile because I had to take off a few inches, but in the end I curled it from the root softly, changing the colour from auburn to a golden brown, adding a few highlights throughout. I summoned a wide-tooth comb and brushed through the curls, making it look more natural.
“What do you think?” I asked, smiling at my work as I set the brush down.
“That you should do this professionally.” Aurelia’s fingers ran through her hair. “Thanks!” She turned around and suffocated me in a hug that would undoubtedly leave a bruise. I awkwardly hugged her back until she pulled away. “So you’re ready to go?” she asked.
I looked back at her, suddenly feeling petrified. I knew what was yet to come, but I didn’t know how long I had...
“It won’t be that bad,” Aurelia said softly. “The stupid ceremony will be over before you know it and you’ll be home.”
Of course she didn’t get it, but I wasn’t about to tell her the truth of how I really felt about today and leaving. It was most likely more than leaving behind an interesting Hogwarts year anyways; it’d be leaving behind the best thing that’d ever happened to me.
“Come on.” Aurelia linked her arm through mine and she dragged me out of the dormitory and into the common room.
It was filled with students of all years, the occasional person wearing a graduation gown while others wore simple house robes. We pushed through the crowds until we were out and heading down the dungeons and through the Great Hall. When we made it through the main doors, we were met by hordes of people. Most were clumped at the doors, making it nearly impossible to get through with such a big plug.
“I’ll see you at the pitch!” I had to yell over the volume of voices to speak to Aurelia, who was still next to me just barely.
“Ok!”
We then let the crowds take us away. As soon as I was out of the big crowd, I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in months.
“Rosa?”
“Mum?”
Surely enough, mum came running towards me and lifted me off the ground into the world’s tightest hug ever. I started to choke, an indicator my mom took clearly and let me go.
“I still can’t believe I’m back here. It’s been so long...” Mum’s eyes scanned the castle and then fell onto me. “And you here, graduating? I can’t believe that either.”
I mock gapped. “You never thought I’d graduate.”
She laughed. “Not, I didn’t think you’d graduate here of all places.” She then lifted my hair, analyzing it. “Finally come to appreciate the real you?”
I then burst out laughing. “For a day. Partially.”
“I see,” she replied, a slight tone of distain as she lifted the under-sections of my hair, the brown. She then looked me up and down. “You look thinner. Don’t they feed you here anymore?”
“Yes, they do,” I sighed in response.
Of course she’d bring up what Draco had been mentioning in letters to her on some level. I had lost some of my appetite for awhile due to learning the whole truth that is my life, but I’d been gaining it back now. I suppose that came with the antisocial ‘attitude’ I’d developed because of the truth.
I looked past my mum into the more open parts of the fields and saw Harry wandering away with Ginny.
“I’ll be right back.” I then ran off and towards them, not caring if mum was watching.
“Hey.”
I skidded to a stop in front of them. I looked at Ginny, a challenge in my eyes matching the competition in hers. “Can we have a moment alone?”
She smirked. “Not a problem.” With a nod, she turned around and walked away. Harry looked back at her, confused. I took this moment to look where my mum was; I watched her push herself into the crowds, disappearing into the throngs of people. Harry turned to me and smiled.
“Hey.”
He pulled me into a hug. I held onto him a few moments longer and, when he kissed me, held onto that longer than normal. My heart was pounding, my entire body filling with anxiety and dread over what had yet to come.
“You ok?”
I shrugged. “Been better.” I could make it pass for nerves. I was glad I chose today to tell him; it made lying about nervousness that much easier.
One of his hands lifted to my hair and held up a lock. “Interesting choice. I thought you hated Malfoy or something of the sort... unless you’re not aiming for that? It looks good on you though; rather... natural.” His tone was a mix of confusion and discomfort.
I pulled out of Harry’s arms and held his eyes. “Look... you know when I said my natural hair is black?”
“Yeah...?”
I sighed. “It’s not.”
His eyebrow rose, confused. “Ok... why lie about that?”
“Because it’s this. ‘Malfoy blonde’. It stinks but I can’t easily control it, either.”
He smiled slightly. “Fair enough. Did you think I’d find it weird? I’ve seen your friend, Daphne; she’s the same. Her sister is the same. It’s nothing major, being blonde. It doesn’t make you a Malfoy or something.”
I was silent for a moment at that; I'd never thought of Daphne like that. “Ok, that’s good to know.” I forced a small smile. This was nothing compared to what was to come. This was merely the beginning, my test for him, but based on his ‘Malfoy’ comment, well...
“Harry?”
He turned his attention to me again, looking back expectantly. “You remember when you told me... Ginny told you I had to tell you something?”
He thought about that. “Ok?”
“Well she is right, there’s something... well she wants you to know that she found out awhile ago on her own devices.”
“Harry?”
He turned around. I looked beyond him and saw Hermione dressed perfectly in her robes, her normally bushy hair much more neatly curled and held half-up. I could actually look at her without wincing; her day-to-day hair that looked like the after-effects of an exploded, leafy tree was now worthy enough for human eyes.
“We have to go.” She then looked at me, a grimacing twitch pulling the corner of her mouth up in an awkward smile. Her eyes didn’t hide the truth; repulsion. “Hello.”
“Hey...” I nodded.
“So what’d you want to say?” Harry turned back to me.
“It can wait,” I responded, smiling as reassuringly as I could possibly muster.
He returned my smile and reached out, took my hand and lifted it up, kissing it before letting it drop and hurrying away with Hermione. I just stood there, frozen to the spot.
“Rose?”
“Don’t call me that,” I snarled, looking up at Draco. He stopped in front of me.
“You have to go.”
My eyebrow rose, confused. We were leaving before this thing even started?
“We have to go... to the pitch,” he rephrased. I found his slowed speech disparaging.
I rolled my eyes and walked past him, making my way to the pitch. I was thankful my last name was Black and mum didn’t make me keep her last name – this way I was up front and not right next to Draco, as it would have been with McMillan. And Rosa McMillan... no. Just... ew, no. It sounded weird to me.
The entire ceremony was slow. It took ages for me to get up on that stage and get my diploma, let alone everyone else in the crowd of graduates. When the ceremony was over, I hurried off-stage. I told mum I would be a bit, so she went off and found some more people to chat with while I found Harry again.
“So you haven’t actually talked with...?”
“Hey!” I cut into Ginny’s sentence. She turned around, looked at me with a warning glare, and walked off.
“Hey.” Harry pulled me into a quick kiss, keeping his hands on my waist. “Liberating, isn’t it?”
“It sure is,” I responded, smiling slightly. “Who’re you here with?”
“I’m leaving with Ron’s family,” he responded, shrugging. “I’m staying with them until I get my own place, really. You’re going back with your mum?”
I nodded. Another pang of dread overcame me, but not for what had yet to come with Harry, but what was to come upon returning home.
“What do you plan on doing this summer?”
“I’m going to the Quidditch World Cup,” I responded, shrugging. I then realized I who I would be going with. “Look, there’s something you should know...”
“Hey, Harry!” Ron Weasley came jogging up to us. I was so frustrated by the constant interruptions I was ready to punch something. Where was Draco’s face when I needed it? Sure he might not take too well with it, but it’s not like I do such things to him anymore.
What a depressing thought; I really had gone soft this year.
Harry let me go and turned to Ron. They started to do this funny handshake and a real man-hug. “It’s finally over! We can sit around at home and eat and sleep all day,” Ron announced
“So much for education.”
I recognized one of the twins that worked at Weasley Wizard Wheezes come up to us.
“You’d think after 18 years he’d learn mum doesn’t take to that sorta thing.”
The other twin came up. Within moments, the rest of the huge Weasley family came up and took Harry away from me. I waited, and was surprised when he pulled me into their group, leaving his hand around my waist.
“This is Rosa.”
I looked at them, feeling somewhat awkward. I looked at the redheads around me, feeling very out of place.
Mrs. Weasley smiled. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” She shook my hand. I smiled back politely, feeling rather self-conscious. “Harry’s told us so much about you.”
“Yes, she has.”
Ginny popped up next to her mum, smiling at me with a fake brightness.
“We never knew Sirius had a girlfriend... or wife... whatever it was. It’s nice to know that he still lives on even more than we try to let him.”
“Yeah,” I responded simply, an odd yet familiar sensation of remorse I couldn’t find the right word for building in me for letting them believe such a lie.
Ginny’s eyebrow rose. “But...”
“Sorry, can I steal away Harry for a few minutes?” I asked, smiling hopefully at Mrs. Weasley. I could see Ginny’s flat expression, trying to hide the anger beneath. It was almost worth putting this off just to see how far I could push her until she broke and looked like a loony.
“Not a problem, dear. Come on, everyone. We’ll be waiting for you by the gates, Harry.” Mrs. Weasley led the family group away.
“So what’s so important?” Harry asked, leaning his forehead against mine. I let him kiss me one last time before pulling away slightly.
“There’s something you really should know.”
His eyebrows furrowed together. “Is something wrong?”
I bit the inside of my lip for a moment, trying to keep it from trembling in slight fear and in thought. “There’s... more I haven’t told you besides... my hair.”
“Like what? Your mum isn’t Slytherin or something?”
I chuckled once and sighed. “No. It’s more important than that. It’s about... Sirius.”
“What about him?”
“He’s not my father.”
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