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Join Date: May 2008 Location: Hobbiton
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|  7 lives in a hobbit hole || Ern and Touz's Nuzzle || roflysst || looking at a seed packet
 Made by Ama
January 2nd 2070
New Jobs: Still one
Reasons not to wear satin on a hot day: ∞
Article due: Fashion Tips for The Wolfish Wizard Three up, two across: Welcome to the Leaky Cauldron
Jane Holland is tragic. A hot mess in the sweaty, sticky way and not in the oh-so-sexy-someone-wants-to-volunteer-to-clean-her-up way. Self finds new co-workers unsettling. Particularly one with a sneer that must have been practiced in the mirror for a lifetime. At least the Daily Prophet offices feel like home.
The front door stuck.
Jane spent at least 3 minutes and 19 seconds tugging on the door frantically, her fingers grasping the handle and little straining grunts escaping her lips as she pulled on the door. Openopenopen! She let out a gasp as a man pushed the adjacent door open, feeling the need to bang her head against the door handle that her white knuckled grip was threatening to imprint permanently against her palm. Jane let out a deflated sort of sigh and unfurled her fingers. She’d worried for a minute that it was going to be a repeat of the hotel polka dot incident. Except that she was on the ground floor instead of a million floors up and she was wearing clothes. She was wearing clothes, right?! Heck!
While she was examining herself to be sure that this hadn’t turned into one of those terrible dreams like where you get up on stage to give a speech only to realise you’re naked, a woman in white whirled past her. Okay so whirled might not be the best word. Jane gaped after her. The woman sashayed along like she thought she owned the world, her white dress tugging across her hips like it was a second skin. She looked expensive and Jane instantly felt less. She looked down at herself. Okay, well maybe in some ways she was more but she definitely felt far less sure of herself. And she was still standing outside.
Blushing furiously, Jane pushed the door open and followed the woman inside, hyperventilating just slightly. First day on the job and things were going just swimmingly weren’t they? Oh Merlin, Oh Circe, Oh Cliodna; this was going to be a disaster. The boss was going to regret her and certainly regret hiring her after a Floo interview. Maybe he’d been busy or distracted or he’d just interviewed that woman and figured it meant he got a charity hire, his good dead for the day. Hiring Jane Holland.
The baby blue satin shirt she had chosen to wear was now proving to Jane that she should not have chosen it at all. She was sweating in that horrible cold sweat, bundle of nerves, self-conscious, furious blushing sort of way. She ducked into a bathroom en route and splashed cold water on her face, trying her best to breathe like a normie. She could do this. She could. She was an adult and she was sophisticated and intelligent and definitely qualified. She could do this. Jane tightened the belt around her middle and looked down at her plain black pants and the black satin pumps encasing her feet. She looked respectable enough but she felt horrible.
Jane stared at herself in the mirror, willing herself not to get blotchy. Nooooo blotchy. She whirled around and hurried into a stall, her heels clip-clopping on the ragged linoleum as she moved. Jane unravelled half a roll of loo paper in a flurry and headed back to the mirror. She dampened some of the paper and used it on her face, hoping it would cool her down. It's fine. You can do this. You'll be great. Oh yes. Why hellloooooo there hot stuff!
She made faces at the mirror and dabbed at her burning cheeks some more. She froze for a second and cautiously lifted one arm up, eyes widening slightly at the slightly damp patch where the satin sat against her armpit. Disaster! Why did I wear satin? In summer?! Panicking slightly, Jane wadded up some loo paper and stuffed it under the sleeve of her shirt in an attempt to get a little drier. She did the same with the other side and squeeeeeeeeezed her arms against her torso for a few moments, then she pulled the lengths of toilet paper out of her sleeve and flushed them down the toilet. She checked again and let out a little shriek. Its fine. It's fine. I just... won't lift up my arms. It will be fine.
She picked up her purse and took one more doubtful look at her reflection in the mirror. Jane took a deep breath, mentally repeating all the nice things anyone had ever said about her like a mantra. At least it was easy to find the conference room; a dilapidated sign pointed the way. Jane glanced around, taking in the somewhat shabby décor and feeling slightly more welcome. At least the Daily Prophet offices weren’t all shiny and sleek like the woman in white.
She reached the conference room, a bright and almost desperate smile plastered on her face as she hovered just inside the doorway. She was hard to miss really, being almost 5'9 and wearing heels that gave her another three inches on top of that, but Jane was at that moment, trying to fade into the background.
"You muzt be joooking wiz me!" The woman in white spoke in a terribly painful-to-Jane’s-ears accent. "Zat boy iz too little to be managinggg such a plaze like dis! It is... It is... c'est impossible! It iz impossibool!"
Jane glanced around nervously eyeing a woman who was cleaning, and noting that almost everyone in the room had various degrees of confusion, derision and impatience on their faces. Feeling completely alarmed by the woman in white and growing more alarmed by the second at the... well, the Frenchness of her, Jane eased herself along the wall and just stood there awkwardly.
Apparently the French woman, who continued to wax on about the look of the place, was more accustomed to nicer facilities. Jane herself, felt quite at ease with the not-quite-tidy and just-a-little-shabby look and feel of the place, but if someone else didn't feel the same, who was Jane to comment on it?
Who was Jane at all?
How zen.
"I'm Jane."
She hurriedly answered her own question, just in case the universe had a different answer. Then she promptly covered her mouth with both hands, startled at the volume her voice had come out at. Of course, because of the satin and the sweaty factor, Jane kept her elbows firmly pressed against her torso so that it almost appeared like her arms started at the elbow if one were judging by her movements. She pressed her back against the wall. It was safe and non-threatening and not at all like all the people at the table. It appeared that the majority of the people in the room were distracted by the one woman who was scrubbing at the table. What a strange time to have a maid working. Odd that she was so busy scrubbing at the table when the rest of the place was in a shambles around her. Not that Jane thought the place was dirty, it was just that the woman seemed to have some odd priorities. And timing. Apparently the woman was actually a layout editor and she had a thing about germs. Curiouser and curiouser.
One man, who looked and sounded like the boss, greeted her, inviting her to have a seat. Jane let out a little noise of dismay and embarrassment into her fingers then slowly took them away from her mouth, offering a nervous but thankful little smile at Rico. Rico! She couldn't possibly call her boss by his first name!
"Thank you Mr. Serio, I'm sorry about being late, I got held u..."
And then another man was talking and Jane's voice disappeared. She jumped slightly when he spoke to her and wondered how on earth the boss could be flustered when she was the one that was so incredibly and obviously out of place.
"Mr. Serio... was my father," The boss-man levelled his eyes at her, "Please. Call me Rico."
Jane smiled at him nervously and apologetically. Call him Rico. Call her boss Rico. Rico. Not Mr. Serio. Rico.
"We appreciate everyone's enthusiasm," an admittedly attractive and kind of suave looking Asian man spoke, Jane’s eyes immediately flicking to his hands as they tugged his robes. "However, there's a thin line between being eager and being insolent. Please, everyone, take a seat. Yes, including you, Jane. Don't make the boss flustered. There's an empty chair beside me. "
"Be-beside you?" Jane swallowed and offered a tentatively confident smile, heading over to take the indicated seat. What had been going on in here before she’d arrived? Surely Mr. Serio wasn’t the flustered one, it was her, right? She placed her purse in her lap and waited nervously, shooting little glances at the man.
"Boss man, I'm go for the staff meeting." A pretty brunette with a cute snub nose and a spattering of freckles was shooting looks at the gorgeous Asian man who had told Jane to sit. Jane tried to find meanings in those looks and her mind took some crazy flights of fancy as if the two were stuck in some tragic soap opera. This meeting surely wouldn’t be out of place in one. Whatever else was going on in the room, Jane was trying to ignore now, though she was tempted to ask for aspirin too when she heard a pretty looking man, probably close to her in age, ask the germ lady for some. Jane’s head was thumping from the nerves, the strangeness of her new co-workers, and the heat of course. She furiously ignored the gathering moisture at the small of her back and a few other less comfortable places. Sophisticated people did not dab at themselves in public.
"I'm Jane." She repeated in a half-whisper, fixing her eyes on the Asian man seated next to her. He really was extremely good looking. Jane offered her hand for him to shake in greeting and it was then, when she lifted her arm enough to do so, that a short length of loo paper was juuuust visible peeking out of the sleeve at her now dry armpit, like a little flag proclaiming that satin had definitely been a bad idea.
"Yes, Jane. I know." His finely shaped brow arched at her and he spoke slowly, like he thought she was a little dull or something.
I can’t believe I just did that!
Jane admonished herself when she realised that she'd introduced herself twice. And this man with the eyebrows that lived closer to his supercilious hairline than his judgemental eyes still had not offered his name. Jane got it. He didn't want her to know him. He was clearly somewhere 'up there' in the scheme of things, while she was just an annoying ankle-biter or something. One dressed in increasingly soggy satin no less. And then she was hit by a tomato blush of epic proportions, every visible piece of her skin joining in for the fun of it. He was breathing on her ear, had she judged him wrong? Maybe he liked the satin and was just being rude because secre...
"Not to be offensive but there's loo paper coming out from your arm hole. I'd keep my arms down if I were you."
She let out an audible gasp and, since he had not taken her hand to shake it in greeting, Jane dropped her arm and squeezed both of her arms against her body. Loo paper! Betrayer! Jane looked back at him in alarm and embarrassment, taking in the completely uncompassionate expression and flattering under it. Discretely, she attempted to tuck the loose piece of paper back into her sleeve so she could fish it out later.
It took some wriggling and far more blushing, but she managed it and finally sat quiet and subdued, not looking at anyone and hoping that the meeting would be finished quickly and no other alarming events would occur. Why did satin get scratchier and scratchier against her skin even as it got soggier and soggier from her sweat? She barely heard him clap and address everyone again; she was too busy being mortified. Breathing exercises were a good idea. The meeting began while she tried to centre herself and Jane tried to focus on what Rico was saying. He welcomed the new staff, apparently there were quite a lot of them and Jane actually felt a little normal in comparison, if a little dull.
The new Minister for magic… the Quidditch World Cup… Werewolves at Hogwarts... Jane quietly and discreetly took a notebook and stubby pencil from her bag. She listened carefully and took notes. Okay and she doodled just a little. She looked up as he asked for story ideas and hesitatingly raised her hand... from her waist, elbow still pressed tight against her side.
"Perhaps there needs to be an insider in the school? Maybe some students might volunteer information? Opinions? Or..." Jane considered carefully, "Maybe the Department of Education has information about how the roll has been affected? Complaints from parents and things like that?" Jane coiled some of her hair around her stubby pencil as she considered other ideas.
"If the minister wants us to work closely with the ministry, surely she'd allow us to talk with the appropriate divisions? Werewolf control and all, and does anyone know any healers at St. Mungos? Maybe someone can find out what happened right after the attack? They did go there right?"
Oh... wait. She was hired for lifestyle articles.
"...or um... Fashion Tips for the Wolfish Wizard?"
"I had ice cream with Bontecou last week and gained an exclusive interview, including confirmation that he is in fact infected with lycanthropy." Jane looked up at the woman who’s name Jane had realised was Hunter in wonderment. How’d she scored an exclusive? It was because she was pretty right? Totally was.
"Ah, I wonder if I could, opine a comment?" Jane’s eyes flickered to another Asian man, an older one. Pepper? Something like that. It kind of made Jane crave one of those muggle drinks, Dr. Pepper. She was muggleborn after all so it wasn’t completely bizarre for her thoughts to stray. She smiled faintly when he nodded at her.
"As my colleague-ess said, Mr Man, is it really, ah, appropriate for us to listen to the Ministry? We should not, um... play... nice?" He looked questioningly at the woman. "No, we should play bad. Bad, yes."
He had a strange way of speaking but it was kind of endearing. If Jane hadn’t been so concerned about the toilet paper she might have smiled at him properly. She mentally noted the man she was sitting with, the suave but snarky Ian Hoshino was taking notes too and asking Pepper to clarify himself. And what was this Mr. Man business? She lost the thread of the discussion going on around her as she tried to figure it out, her eyes coming to rest on Hunter who had addressed the boss man as… well, boss man. Ohhhhhhh. Mr Man. Right. Jane’s mind also decided to think about playing bad for a while, so she was already mid-blush and discreetly peeking at Ian, when Mr Boss Man addressed her again.
"You have some good ideas, Miss Jane, though uh, not so sure about the fashion one... heh..."
Jane was quite aware that she wasn’t exactly the kind of person who should be dishing fashion advice, except maybe for the curvier witches. She chewed her pencil stub and attempted to concentrate again, hearing one man suggest coffee and another suggest snitch shaped articles and less advertisements. It was sort of hard to focus on that when Ian was sneering next to her like some artist had decided that was the only way to paint the canvas that was Hoshino, so she had remained silent. She listened carefully to all the suggestions and the banter, holding her tongue a few times, even biting it in order to stop herself from responding when questions and comments that had nothing to do with her were asked. She was focusing that hard.
So werewolves... quidditch cup... surely that wasn't going to be the only focus of the paper? She twisted her hair around her pencil thoughtfully and then let go all of a sudden, the pencil remaining in her hair.
"Mr. Ser... Rico, perhaps we could have a few advertisements disguised as articles or just... articles that are subtle reinforcements of the advertisements being run? What I mean is Diagon Alley, now that the kids are all back at school, could be featured as a series, Diagon Alley as a whole; where to go and what to see for grown witches and wizards rather than excited children. Maybe a shop by shop feature, interviewing the shopkeepers and possibly in the process we might get information that will help the newsies with their stories too? Shop keepers see and here far more than most people think, we might find a few exclusives that can be used across the sections. Maybe we can even convince the shops to pay for their own articles, sell them as if they are... specialist advertising aimed at convincing the subconscious to shop at whichever store is being featured."
Jane looked around the table apologetically and added, "...and it would bring in more revenue."
"Uh..." Rico rubbed his chin as Jane talked. "...hmm. Go for it. Don't worry about making them pay for the articles just now... I'm not sure how persuasive you are, but the features sound great. Where are you going to start? The Leaky? Gringott's?"
"What I mean, Mr. Seri... Rico, is that any features I write would best be supported by advertisements for the same stores, it would be a featurette, but serve the same purpose as an extra advertisement, that is getting more customers for those businesses and appealing to a wider demographic of readers for us. Win-win. If it works well, I am certain I can be persuasive about payment for future efforts." Jane explained, her voice coming out surer and more confident as she warmed to her theme. "I'll start with the Leaky, it makes sense considering that is the gateway to the Alley itself."
“I like.. um.. Miss Jane's idea.” Nathan, one of the layout staff, –or was it advertising? - piped in and Jane offered a quick smile, thankful for the brief words of support for her idea.
"I'd be happy to do a review of the Leaky Cauldron, or maybe Eeylops??" Another writer offered up. And Jane straightened in her chair, staring the other woman down.
"There is noway you are stealing my article ideas." she interjected firmly, looking down the table long enough to make it clear she wouldn't stand for swooping, despite all her other obvious shortcomings.
Her idea.
Hers.
Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Ian turn toward her and wink. She blushed a little, though it sort of felt like she’d won something. Respect maybe. Or you know, whatever she’d lost from the whole toilet paper thing. Guh. He managed to remind her that she was encased in satin just with a look. She’d forgotten for a moment with her mind firmly on the job.
"Ah, yes. Yes to you all. Since it sounds like everyone has everything under control, I think this meeting is adjourned." Rico informed them, clapping his hands together. He asked Sienna and Ian if they had more to add and Sienna, some other boss person who Jane was already realising had a thing about deadlines, agreed that they were done.
Right. That had gone faster than she’d expected, more painfully too, though her nerves had settled at least a little. She was excited by two things, the first being the part where she actually started her new job officially and the second thing was recovering from the whole... toilet paper thing... She carefully stood up; elbows pressed to her sides and tried to be nonchalant and casual as she left the room, pencil still caught in her curls.
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