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firenjen · 08-01-2009, 07:35 PM

Ok new post
and this is a celebratory post, because i got a gryffindor scarf today

(yaaaaaaay!!!!)

************************************************** **********************

Leaving

“Enter,” called Dumbledore. There was a pause, in which Dumbledore frowned, but then the door opened slowly and Snape entered the room.

A small lump rose unexpectedly in Dumbledore’s throat as he surveyed Snape. He looked exhausted, his skin looked paler and papery, and dark purple shadows encircled his dead eyes. Dumbledore had seen Snape looking like this only once before – the night that he had learnt of Lily Potter’s death.

“Why don’t you sit down,” said Dumbledore. Snape hesitated and then walked forwards to the chair opposite the headmaster and sat, staring down at his hands, as if expecting to see something miraculous appear from out of them.

“I assume,“ began Dumbledore, “that your lateness is due to the fact that you didn’t know whether to come or not?”

Snape nodded slowly, still staring at his hands. “I nearly didn’t.”

“Why did you decide to come?” asked Dumbledore

“You wanted me to,” replied Snape. At this, a warm glow irrupted in the Headmasters chest. The fact that Snape was willing to do this, to discuss it with him when he really didn’t want to, meant a lot to him.

“Severus,” said Dumbledore, his voice almost a whisper, “I know that this is hard. You have just brought all the negative emotion that you felt that night flooding back. It’s understandable, but why would you want to hurt yourself like that, Severus?”

At this, Snape drew his gaze to meet Dumbledore’s, utter incomprehension etched in every line of his face.

“You think i liked seeing that image in the mirror?” He challenged. “Dumbledore, it was all I could do to stop from leaving right there, right then. I couldn’t not see her, Dumbledore, I couldn’t.” His voice cracked on the last word, and his eyes sparkled from wetness. It did not, however, reawaken them.

“Why?” Asked Dumbledore simply.

“Why? Dumbledore, you khow this!” He paused, and gave a slight shudder. When he next spoke, his voice was low and quiet, as if he was talking to himself. “I knew what I would see in the mirror, of course I did. But I couldn’t not go. It’s as though I lost all self control that night. I would have given anything to see her just one more time. I still would. You wouldn’t understand."

Dumbledore considered the broken man before him, his head in his hands and wandered if he was right. Did he understand? He thought he did, but perhaps there were depths that Snape had experienced that he, himself, had not.

He shook his head and looked at Snape over his long fingers – but Snape appeared to have forgotten he was there. He had continued to talk, as though to himself, still staring at the insides of his palms.

“You can’t imagine how I felt after it happened. I never though there was such a pain as that. I felt broken, barely alive. I would’ve given anything to be with her, to ... to die.
But I kept on going, everyday a bitter struggle until I could go home and slowly down in my misery. I was doing well, until he arrived.”

“He?” asked Dumbledore quietly.

“Her son,” Spat Snape. "It’s torture, having to look into those eyes all over again! They’re such a perfect match. Perfect! Its like having a little bit of her just dangling within reach, so tempting when you know you can never have it. That was the first time i felt that pain scorch inside of me since it happened. And so it remains, every day, every hour, every second.”

“You never stopped caring for her.” Whispered Dumbledore.

“Never.” Replied Snape simply, and Dumbledore noticed that the wetness in his eyes had escaped, and was falling down his sallow cheek. Snape did not attempt to remove it. “There was another reason I came tonight, Dumbledore, I-“

But Dumbledore had seen this coming.

“Severus,” he cut across him, “No.”

“No?” Snape challenged, “No?!” He stood up, anger pumping in every vein, causing it to surge around his body in great torrents. “I can’t stand this anymore. I can’t look at Potter anymore! I can’t be reminded, time after time, of the most painful event in my life, Dumbledore!” His face was even paler than it had been when he entered. “I cant,” he mouthed, no sound being able to escape from him any more. He mustered the strength for the final words.

“I’m leaving the castle. For good.”

He swept from the room, his robes whipping around the doorframe after him, leaving Dumbledore alone in the office, a single tear rolling down his old and wizened face.

************************************************** *********************
bit depressing, i know, but i do feel for snapeadoodle
what do you think??

08-01-2009, 07:35 PM	#23 (permalink)
firenjen SS100 Triumphant Mooncalf Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Yonder ♥ Posts: 7,769 Hogwarts RPG Name: Carve Hetcher Fifth Year Ministry RPG Name: Damelza Penndragon Magical Creatures	so you can convince yourself that im cute Ok new post and this is a celebratory post, because i got a gryffindor scarf today (yaaaaaaay!!!!) ************************************************ ****************** Leaving “Enter,” called Dumbledore. There was a pause, in which Dumbledore frowned, but then the door opened slowly and Snape entered the room. A small lump rose unexpectedly in Dumbledore’s throat as he surveyed Snape. He looked exhausted, his skin looked paler and papery, and dark purple shadows encircled his dead eyes. Dumbledore had seen Snape looking like this only once before – the night that he had learnt of Lily Potter’s death. “Why don’t you sit down,” said Dumbledore. Snape hesitated and then walked forwards to the chair opposite the headmaster and sat, staring down at his hands, as if expecting to see something miraculous appear from out of them. “I assume,“ began Dumbledore, “that your lateness is due to the fact that you didn’t know whether to come or not?” Snape nodded slowly, still staring at his hands. “I nearly didn’t.” “Why did you decide to come?” asked Dumbledore “You wanted me to,” replied Snape. At this, a warm glow irrupted in the Headmasters chest. The fact that Snape was willing to do this, to discuss it with him when he really didn’t want to, meant a lot to him. “Severus,” said Dumbledore, his voice almost a whisper, “I know that this is hard. You have just brought all the negative emotion that you felt that night flooding back. It’s understandable, but why would you want to hurt yourself like that, Severus?” At this, Snape drew his gaze to meet Dumbledore’s, utter incomprehension etched in every line of his face. “You think i liked seeing that image in the mirror?” He challenged. “Dumbledore, it was all I could do to stop from leaving right there, right then. I couldn’t not see her, Dumbledore, I couldn’t.” His voice cracked on the last word, and his eyes sparkled from wetness. It did not, however, reawaken them. “Why?” Asked Dumbledore simply. “Why? Dumbledore, you khow this!” He paused, and gave a slight shudder. When he next spoke, his voice was low and quiet, as if he was talking to himself. “I knew what I would see in the mirror, of course I did. But I couldn’t not go. It’s as though I lost all self control that night. I would have given anything to see her just one more time. I still would. You wouldn’t understand." Dumbledore considered the broken man before him, his head in his hands and wandered if he was right. Did he understand? He thought he did, but perhaps there were depths that Snape had experienced that he, himself, had not. He shook his head and looked at Snape over his long fingers – but Snape appeared to have forgotten he was there. He had continued to talk, as though to himself, still staring at the insides of his palms. “You can’t imagine how I felt after it happened. I never though there was such a pain as that. I felt broken, barely alive. I would’ve given anything to be with her, to ... to die. But I kept on going, everyday a bitter struggle until I could go home and slowly down in my misery. I was doing well, until he arrived.” “He?” asked Dumbledore quietly. “Her son,” Spat Snape. "It’s torture, having to look into those eyes all over again! They’re such a perfect match. Perfect! Its like having a little bit of her just dangling within reach, so tempting when you know you can never have it. That was the first time i felt that pain scorch inside of me since it happened. And so it remains, every day, every hour, every second.” “You never stopped caring for her.” Whispered Dumbledore. “Never.” Replied Snape simply, and Dumbledore noticed that the wetness in his eyes had escaped, and was falling down his sallow cheek. Snape did not attempt to remove it. “There was another reason I came tonight, Dumbledore, I-“ But Dumbledore had seen this coming. “Severus,” he cut across him, “No.” “No?” Snape challenged, “No?!” He stood up, anger pumping in every vein, causing it to surge around his body in great torrents. “I can’t stand this anymore. I can’t look at Potter anymore! I can’t be reminded, time after time, of the most painful event in my life, Dumbledore!” His face was even paler than it had been when he entered. “I cant,” he mouthed, no sound being able to escape from him any more. He mustered the strength for the final words. “I’m leaving the castle. For good.” He swept from the room, his robes whipping around the doorframe after him, leaving Dumbledore alone in the office, a single tear rolling down his old and wizened face. ********************************************** ******************* bit depressing, i know, but i do feel for snapeadoodle what do you think?? Last edited by firenjen; 09-03-2009 at 09:17 PM.