 SS 100 Triumphant Kappa
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Top Ramen plz?
Posts: 13,082
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Danny Logan Edwards
Sixth Year
Ministry RPG Name:
Rawr
Special Ops  x1
|  Shipper Queen Hippie Quad
A Promise
“Are you seriously not going to tell him? Because that is cruel to keep this from him!” Of course I was angry. No I wasn’t angry anymore, I was livid.
“Samantha, who is the adult here? I am. I know what is best for my son.” My mother retorted. If she was trying to make a point, I didn’t get. If anything, this made me even madder.
“I seriously don’t see an adult anywhere. How can you try and keep this from him? Isn’t it gonna be a little weird when we go over to Aunt Raine’s house and oh look at this! Lima is staying there. But where is Aunt Grace and Uncle Phillip?”
“Don’t say, “gonna.” It’s going.” My mother mumbled. But I completely ignored her.
“What about when Samuel comes to stay with us? Don’t you think he is gonna wonder what the heck he is doing here?” I was on the verge of tears. But I would never cry in front of my mother. It was a sign of weakness. I couldn’t afford to show weakness right now. I was once again defending my little brother.
“Samantha, can’t you understand this is a very difficult time for me? I just lost my older brother and my baby sister. Why do you have to argue with me all the time?” she asked.
I could tell she was beginning to break. I really should just walk away, but I couldn’t. How could she not tell Danny what happened with my aunt and uncles? How could she leave him in the dark like this? She wasn’t protecting anybody here. She was just making it harder for him. I care about Danny more than anybody in the world. Ever since Benny’s accident, I have become sort of a mother bear when it comes to him. I would defend him to the end.
“Mum. Do you know how wrong this is? If you keep this from him, it’s only going to be tougher when he does find out. And he is going to find out.” I had to practically force my voice to go down. I was going for the calm approach, and hoped that my mother would see reason.
“You weren’t here for the past ten months. You haven’t seen how Danny has closed himself off from the world. He still won’t talk to me. I even tried counseling-“
“That would never work. If anything you made him want to talk even less! You know he doesn’t talk to people unless he knows them. Why would you force him to talk to somebody he doesn’t even know?!” I blew up. How could I not? Danny was a shy boy. Even when he did talk to people, he never talked to strangers. Even if he was introduced and everything. It was just plain cruel to think she had forced him to go see a counselor. I know he would never talk to the person and they probably just scared him even more.
“I didn’t know what else to do! I’m losing him…” My mother said. I could see her eyes blur, but this didn’t stop me. If anything, she just made madder. How could she show weakness now?
“You’re not losing him. You’re just pushing him away! He will never open up to you again if you keep treating him like a child.”
“He is just a child. Did you forget how old he is?” she said.
“No I haven’t. But I think you forgot how he is smarter than most kids.” How could she not see his intelligence? He had to be the smartest boy I knew. It ticked me off that my mom ignored it all.
“This isn’t about how smart he is. This is about shielding him from the pain.” If she was trying to make me understand something, I was not seeing it. But when she said was shielding him from the pain, something snapped inside of me.
“Shielding him? Is that what you call it? You’re not shielding anyone here. You are just making it worst. You are the reason Danny doesn’t talk. You did this to him!” I knew I went too far, even before I was done.
“That’s enough Samantha.” My dad said from his kitchen chair. He had been quiet through our whole spat. My mom and I were both facing each other, red in the face. But now he stood and stepped in front of my mom. He was protecting her.
I always know when I go to far when my dad calls me by my full name. My mom was always calling me Samantha, even when I tell her over and over again I don’t want to be called that. My dad understood and always called me Sam, or Sammy. It was only in grave situations when he actually called me Samantha. The last time he had used it was right after Benny’s accident. It was probably the only thing that got me to back down now. He only had to say three words that got me to shut my mouth. I stormed out of the kitchen and went in the direction of the Danny’s room.
When I got to his room he used to share with Benny, it took all the energy I had left in my body not to slam the door. I closed it and turned around to face my little brother. He was sitting on the floor looking at me with his wide puppy dog eyes. Just looking at him made my anger begin to evaporate. I walked over in slow steps and sat down in front of him. I had planned on walking in here and telling him everything. But now I didn’t have the heart to do it. I felt like my world was shattering around me and any minute I would go crazy. Just looking at how innocent his face made me feel like I was the most horrible person in the world. How could I yell at my mother like that? I know this must be tough for her. But I just kept going at her like she was a bug underneath my shoe. How could I do that to my own mother?
Before I could even figure out was happening, I had tears streaming down my face. I used the sleeve of my shirt to wipe away the salty tears from my face. But they just kept coming. I couldn’t stop. I eventually hid my face in between my legs, letting the grief and the sorrow wash over me. A few seconds later, I felt somebody stroking my hair. I peaked up and found him standing over me, watching me with sad eyes. Danny was so tiny, that even though I was sitting down and he was standing up, our faces were level with each other. I used my sleeve again, to wipe tears and my running nose away. Then we just looked at each other. He ran his milky white hand through my hair soothingly, and I felt my body begin to relax. But this did the opposite to the tear ducts in my eyes. I began to cry even harder as my little brother began to comfort me. I shouldn’t be crying in front of him like this. I was supposed to be the bigger person here. I was supposed to make him feel better when he was sad. I was supposed to run my hands through his hair when he was crying. I was supposed to tell him everything was going to be ok, even if the future looked dark. I wasn’t supposed to be the one who was crying on the floor. I was supposed to be comforting him.
“I know what happened with Aunt Grace, Uncle Phillip, and Uncle Adrian.” Said a soft voice. I stared around the room until I realized Danny had spoke. How could he know? He couldn’t have heard us talking from the kitchen. It was way too far. His room was on the other side of the house from the kitchen. So how does he know? Did I accidentally tell him?
“How…How do you know?” I managed to get out. He looked down and his cheeks began to turn pink. He looked so vulnerable that I wrapped my arms around him. We sat there, with his arms around my neck and my head resting on his shoulder, for what could have been hours. It began to grow dark in his room as the sun set. But I still didn’t let my little brother go.
“Don’t fight with mum anymore.” He muttered gently in my ear. I finally let go of him and looked in his chocolate brown eyes that were identical to mine. In a way I knew how much my mom and I fighting hurt him. I also knew in a way that he was always able to hear us. He was always able to hear us even if he was outside and were inside fighting. There was something special about him, when it came to hearing. I bet somebody could be whispering in the room next to his and he would still hear them.
But now as he asked me not to fight with my mother anymore, I wanted to break down and cry again. “I’m sorry Danny. I just…I just didn’t….I wanted you…” I broke off, not exactly knowing what I wanted to say. I sniffed and bit my lip.
“Its ok.” Danny said in his soft voice, and played with my hair again.
I let him calm me down for a while, until I felt him begin to drift off in my arms. By then I had stopped crying, and I was beginning to think clearly again. I carefully lifted him in my arms and took him over to his bed. Tenderly, I set him down onto his bed and pulled a light blanket over his fragile body. Then I quietly left his room and started down the hallway. I could tell it was late at night by now. All the lights were off and I could see the milk glow of the moon seeping through the windows. But as I started for my room, I could see that the kitchen light was still on. My legs veered toward the kitchen even before my mind could register it.
My mother was sitting at the kitchen table by herself, drinking a cup of coffee. My dad must have gone to bed or is taking care of the twins. I slowly walked into the kitchen and sat down across from her. We sat in silence for a few minutes. I expected tension to be in the room, but all I felt was peace. It was comforting.
“Did you tell him?” my mother asked quietly. She didn’t sound mad, or upset. The question was almost stated like “Did you take out the trash?”
“He already knew.” I replied just as calmly. She didn’t ask me how. She didn’t even accuse me of lying. She just took another drink from her burgundy mug.
I knew I had to say it now. Even if I didn’t believe in the things she did, I still owed her an apology. “I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean what I said about you doing this all to Danny.” I looked down at the table. I knew if I looked at her while I talked I would break down.
She stayed quiet on her side of the table for a long time. I finally looked up and saw that she was looking down at her coffee cup. She couldn’t look at me either. I began to wonder why. Was it because I was such an awful daughter, she couldn’t even look at me anymore? Have I really become that bad?
“You were right.” She said and I blinked at her. I was right? Really? “I shouldn’t have tried to keep this from him. I just didn’t want to give him another reason not to talk to me.”
I watched as she began to cry. Full on tears of real sorrow. I always found tears as a weakness. It was something to do when you were alone and nobody was there to watch you. But now as I watched my mother cry in front of me, I found it as a sign of respect. It in a way brought us closer. I reached over and grabbed her hand with mine.
“Its not your fault. He doesn’t talk to me either.” It was a white lie but I needed to say it.
She looked up at me and she let out a shaky smile. “Yeah like I believe that.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that. She squeezed my hand, and silently we both agreed not to argue anymore. I was going to have watch my temper and I knew she was going to try and stop keeping Danny in the dark about stuff. It was a silent agreement, which I knew we both understood.
I may fight with my mom until our faces turned blue, but she was the strongest person I knew. She has had to deal with so much in this past few of months. Her oldest going into a coma. Her son closing off on the world. Her brother, sister, and brother-in-law all passing away so close to each other. And having to deal with me all the time. I had no idea how she was not pulling all her hair out or just running away from it all. She was so brave, and I always gave her a hard time. I promised myself from then on that I would try to understand her more.
“I love you mum.” I whispered.
“I love you too Samantha.”
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