So introductions, etc. . . .

Hi, I'm Kristin, as most of the people who know me here on SS call me (it is my name, so not a bad thing). My school RP charrie is Rhiannon Todd, and part of me is obsessed with her and refuses to let her go once she graduates at the end of this term. Anyway, I'd heard about these "diary" FFs, but never saw her as keeping a journal or anything. But before the beginning of this term, starting in Diagon Alley, she needed to get some thoughts down on paper, so this started.

And several people, you know who you are, requested that I post it here. So in honor of them, here it is. And a big thank you to everyone who's preceded me, as well as Khat for the banner.

A few notes. The title stems from the fact that Rhiannon has several sketchbooks, and one of them became her outlet for her thoughts. A basic, black-covered sketchbook. And there are sketches in it as well (but I'm not going to bother actually trying to do them, so don't ask). Second thing is: she doesn't date entries. She puts the location she is at while she is writing, and otherwise the time is indicated by what she writes.

Without further ado, *gestures* The Sketchbook . . .

Diagon Alley-

I’m not going to date this. It’s not a journal or anything. I just need to get some of my thoughts out on paper, to try and keep them out of my head. And maybe this’ll keep me from continually drawing the same thing. See the previous sketch to see what that subject is.

This is driving me crazy. And I’m just going to say this outright: I think I’m starting to have feelings for Josh. And I can’t think these things. If he was able to tell I was thinking about Tag and Ryan when he came to visit and we were talking to Jonathan before the wedding, I know he’d be able to figure this out. And I don’t want that. Because I don’t think there’s any possibility of him feeling anything other than friendship toward me. Even though he continually seems to want to take care of me. I mean, last term he talked me out of more than one depression, and then at the wedding . . . That was something else entirely. I hadn’t even realized he had followed as I was dragged away. And then he basically came to my rescue. I think the keeper on Jonathan’s team, I still haven’t gotten his name, is still possibly hurting from that beating he took. And then Josh seemed so worried about that bruise I had on my face. The one that I didn’t even realize was there for the longest time. And he was willing to camp out while I tried to get some sleep after the incident, in case the guy tried to come back. Which I didn’t really think he would, but the thought was what counted, right?

Anyway, he says that he had wanted to be a better friend to me after I healed him from the panther attack. Which I hadn’t done to get anything out of, other than trying out the spell. And I didn’t like to see him hurting.

Oh God. Maybe I had started to like him before this summer. I guess it’s possible. I mean, half of the time it seemed like he was the only one willing to talk to me. Mia was certainly too busy. And there was my little fainting spell, which still gets brought up occasionally. After that was weird. When he had kept asking if I was okay and everything.

But he had Lyra. And I think he’s still hurting from when she left. At least, I think he was when he visited me over the summer. He didn’t outright say so, but I think he was. Which is another reason any possible feelings I could have are wrong. I’m just going to have to try and pretend they don’t exist. That’s all. It’s not too much to ask, is it?

But I have a feeling Mia suspects something. She didn’t seem to accept my answer when she had asked about my summer, at least. Which is my other problem. How do I hide something like this from not one, but essentially both of my best friends at Hogwarts? I don’t know the answer yet, but hopefully I’ll find it.

The Leaky Cauldron -

Well, maybe it won’t be as hard as I thought, hiding my feelings. I’ve now seen Josh, and I don’t think he suspects anything. Other than the fact that he seemed weirded out by the fact that I had worn a dress. But at least he didn’t compliment me, like he did before the wedding.

To be honest, my feelings did try to push through a couple times while we talked. But I was able to push them to the back of my mind, and avoid showing them. At least, I think I was. I don’t know. He looked at me funny a couple times. I’m not sure what that was about.

At least we still are able to talk like we always have been. And I’m going to try and get him to have an appreciation for Shakespeare. I think it’s going to be a challenge. But I’ve never been one to turn down a challenge.

Mia’s another story. I’ve seen her again since the last time I wrote my thoughts down here. But we didn’t get a chance to talk much. She got distracted again by other people, and then I left to talk to Josh. So I still haven’t been able to test my ability of hiding things from her. But I think it’s possible. I’ll just have to be careful.


More will come, later. It might depend on the response this part gets. But there is more to come . . .