ooohhh...messy fight. Ouch poor Bill.
I was giggling at the Ron/Hermione part!
You should really think of putting more lines between the people who are talking coz it get's a bit confusing. For example: Quote:
“I don’t care if you want to talk to her, I’m her brother! It was my fault she yelled that and I think I should go talk to her first!” it was Bill. “NO!” Harry yelled. How dare he yell at my brother! “Harry, you’re the one that caused her to be single, so therefore you were the one that made her yell. I think you’d just get her more worked up.”
That can go to this:
“I don’t care if you want to talk to her, I’m her brother! It was my fault she yelled that and I think I should go talk to her first!” it was Bill.
“NO!” Harry yelled. How dare he yell at my brother!
“Harry, you’re the one that caused her to be single, so therefore you were the one that made her yell. I think you’d just get her more worked up.”
that way we know whose talking. just a suggestion...