ok, long post here.
More hints dropped... even though you all pretty much figure you know by now.
And I had to make Lupin meaner, so he’s a little more OOC in this chapter.

P.S: Title... plain as it may be, relates to the entire chapter. Parts of this chapter will show up later on btw.


Chapter 15
Lupin’s Talk

I lounged around in the room I was given for a few hours, reading books I had brought. I never had gotten bored, actually, even with not being able to sleep for awhile. Flipping the page in my book, I heard the door knock. I recognized the scent of dog; Lupin.

“What?”

“Can I come in?”

“Why?”

“I want to tell you something.”

“Go ahead.”

“Not through the door.”

I got the impression that Lupin was more of a passive... creature. I had never imagined how his voice would sound when he was determined with authority.
“Look...” I started to say.

“You know me as much as I know you. Who else does?”

That got me.

“Fine, come in. No promises, though.”

The door slowly creaked open, and his scent hit me like an ocean wave. I took in a breath and didn’t breathe.

“Your smell isn’t as pleasant either,” Lupin reminded me.

“I can choose not to breathe. Can you?”

He smiled and shut my door. Now I was on guard; what was so important that he had to shut the door? To make it so that no one could hear if something bad would happen? My eyes followed Lupin warily as he pulled the chair from the desk and sat in the middle of the room, looking at me.

“What’re you doing here?” he finally asked.

“I don’t know; what are you doing here?” I countered.

“I’ll disregard that,” Lupin said passively. “Did your master send you?”

“I don’t work for the Dark Lord,” I growled, spitting the name.

“Only his followers refer to him as that,” Lupin reminded me. I glared.

“It’s not my fault my parents are his followers,” I snapped back.

“Then what are you?”

“You made it clear you know. Why aren’t you blackmailing me as well?”

“Who’s blackmailing you?” Lupin asked, attentive.

“Why do you care?”

Lupin sighed lightly. “Look, I’m at least trying to be civil. It wouldn’t hurt for you to attempt it.”

I glared at him suspiciously.

“Enemies... kind to each other? What has the world come to?” I said dramatically, rolling my eyes.

“If I wasn’t who I can be, would you consider me your enemy?” Lupin pointed out.

“That doesn’t make any difference,” I snapped.

“You’re ignoring my question.”

“I wouldn’t know you if...”

“Why not?” Lupin cut in, curious.

“If my blackmailer hadn’t been... rash, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Is your blackmailer the one that left me with a scar on my right shoulder?” Lupin pushed.

Damn it! Can the wolf read minds too?

“Maybe.”

He gave me a condescending look.

“I didn’t choose this any more than you chose your life,” I pointed out, fighting myself to be civil. “I didn’t choose to find him,” I growled the word. “Either. If he hadn’t have found me, I wouldn’t have been pushed across the continent. Hogwarts was my last resort, and he still followed me here. He’s already threatened to reveal my... problem, and it’s barely been 3 months. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I’d be back in Switzerland, living a normal life as some senior.”

To my surprise, Lupin seemed to be listening.

“I’m honestly surprised you haven’t killed him yet. But considering...” he started.

“Don’t get started, I already had that flashback,” I cut in. “Because of that incident, I left Scotland for here.”

Lupin didn’t look apologetic, that’s for sure.

“How do you handle being around everyone else with your problem?” he asked curiously.

“I’ve mastered self-control.” I emphasized the word.

“Something ‘us wolves’ can’t,” Lupin responded, his tone still calm as he smiled. “I nearly killed a friend because of what happens after transformation.”
I winced. I never like talking about werewolves; it was twice as hard now since I was actually talking to one.

“Nearly?” I realized.

“He was an animagus... a dog ironically enough.” I rolled my eyes at the dry joke. “He pushed me off and I hurt him fairly bad, but didn’t kill. Nearly killed Harry and Hermione too because they were there; he was trying to protect them.”

“What happened to your friend?”

“He’s dead.”

I saw the pain in Lupin’s eyes as he said it. I then thought about it, and started to place it together.

“Did your friend relate to Harry in 3rd year?”

“He told you about his adventures in Hogsmeade, didn’t he?”

I nodded, inching to the opposite side of the bed. It felt uncomfortable not to breathe – it went against my natural instincts even if I didn’t need to - but it was better than taking in the scent Lupin gave off. I stopped when he started to speak.

“What’d he tell you?”

“Just how he nearly got caught, how he got in...”

“Not why he wasn’t allowed, right?” Lupin injected quietly.

If I didn’t have enhanced hearing, I wouldn’t have heard him. I nodded.

“Why was he so resistant about it?”

“It pains him to remember. Sirius Black was a friend of mine and his father’s. He was Harry’s godfather. When one of our friends, Pettigrew, betrayed his parents, Sirius went after him. The coward cut off a finger and transformed into his animagus form and ran off, eventually living as the Weasley rat Scabbers for 12 years. Sirius then had to hide because it was believed he killed Pettigrew and was a loyal Death Eater.

“In Harry’s 3rd year, Sirius escaped Azkaban. It was believed he was going out to search and kill Harry to get revenge for ‘his master’. As a result, Harry couldn’t go anywhere; he was a prisoner in Hogwarts until he came upon a map...”

“The Marauder’s Map...” I recalled.

“Yes. He used the map to get around Hogwarts when he shouldn’t have; it showed him the location of every person on the Hogwarts grounds and passageways. I confiscated it for the remainder of that year when I found out and thought he was putting his life in jeopardy for some freedom.

“You see, two years ago, Harry was seeing things in dreams...”

“Through the snake’s eyes?” I added, knowing Lupin was wary about mentioning it.

“Yes, through the eyes of Nagini. It was found out by You-Know-Who, and he planted images in Harry’s dreams of him torturing Sirius in the Ministry. Harry acted on this... in a rather rash way.”

I would’ve glared at this small take-down, but I felt I had to follow the story.
“He gathered a few students of Dumbledore’s Army, a group of students resisting changes in the school at that time, and flew to the Ministry. They found the Hall of Prophecy, a place he had apparently been dreaming about for months. He found his prophecy, but he didn’t hear it all until the Death Eaters came.

“They fought and were chased into a room. Within this room, there was a veil. It is unknown what the veil truly holds, but we know for sure that once you pass through it, you either come out as a ghost or die.

“Sirius was among us. He was battling his cousin, Bellatrix.”

Lestrange... The name suited her, she was very strange indeed.

“They fought for a long while until she sent a Stunning spell at him. It hit Sirius in the heart. He fell backwards and through the veil. He didn’t come out.” Lupin sounded very dark when he spoke this. “Harry’s been... a bit different ever since the experience. I don’t blame him, in all honestly. He lost his parents to You-Know-You, and they were betrayed by a friend they thought they trusted. His muggle life was... iffy, but it was better than nothing, despite how much he loathed to admit it. His aunt loved him enough to take him in, but not truly show love the way a parent normally would. The last person he had left was a man he had never known and was in danger just being around him because of being wanted by every witch and wizard that didn’t know the truth. He has taken too long to get over it though... he can’t seem to move on enough to talk about it.”

I listened, intent. As soon as the silence built, I remembered I was technically being held here by Lupin, and I put my guard up again. How could I be so stupid and let it drop? And in front of a werewolf, for Merlin’s sake!

“Now I’ve lost my train of thought...” Lupin muttered. I knew he didn’t intend for me to hear. Naturally, I decided to rub that in his face.

“You do know I can hear you as clear as a bell?”

Lupin’s eyes caught mine, and I recoiled slightly.

“When do you plan on telling anybody?”

“As long as I can put it off. If it works out, I won’t be telling anyone ever.”

“Won’t they notice when you don’t age? Or have a real birthday for that matter?”

I glared irritably at the weary-looking man. Wolves always have to make things difficult...

“Why do you care about me? Enemies aren’t exactly supposed to be... how did you say it? Civil to one another? I mean, look at Harry and Draco!”

He flinched faintly at the remark, but ignored what he didn’t want to hear.
“I care about Harry’s welfare as well as his friends’. He speaks highly of you in every letter he’d send, and I can only guess what he intends.”

“Not like he’s going to be able to...”

“It’s more that you’re not going to be able to,” Lupin corrected. “I can tell you still do have self-control, but how much? How long will it take to crack? And he also spoke that you had a tendency to linger about with a certain son of a strong, loyal Death Eater.”

“Look, they all take it the wrong way...”

“Because of who you are, you entrance them. They’re blinded by beauty, but it only goes so deep.”

“Into the body of a girl without a heart...” I muttered, sighing.

“I never said you don’t have a heart,” Lupin pointed out, forcing me to look at him again. “How would you describe a heart? An organ that pumps blood through a human body, or the complex emotions of anyone and anything?”
I grumbled wordlessly and rolled my eyes.

“You should tell them,” Lupin repeated.

“Why do you think I’m here?” I finally snapped. “If someone hadn’t told people about me, I wouldn’t be here. Harry knows I have a secret, and he says no matter how horrible it is, he’ll be there. Every person I know that knew I had a secret said that, and they were the ones that shunned me, refused to acknowledge my existence, sometimes bully me if they were bold enough. If it wasn’t for people not being able to accept me, I wouldn’t be here, like I said.”

“People are different,” was all Lupin responded with a shrug.

I opened my mouth to respond, but stopped dead, realizing something.

“Wh... I don’t need another parental lecture. Why’re you even here?”

“For one thing, to tell you that you should inform people about yourself,” Lupin said, shrugging. “And that if you’re that unwilling, at least act like you don’t hate me, which will be hard for you by the look of it, but for all everyone else knows... you just singled me out to hate. To them, you have no right reason to dislike me.”

I glared at him coldly.

“And to also tell you not to kill the Weasley’s pig, they’re rather attached to that creature and would prefer to keep it alive,” Lupin concluded.

“Why would I kill a pig? They taste sickening anyways,” I said disdainfully.

“Chickens?”

“They have... I won’t.”

“And don’t even think about...”

“Why do you think I live off of animals?” I cut in, knowing what he was about to say. Lupin just smiled faintly.

“How will you handle being around Bill?”

“Who?”

“Ron’s older brother. He got bitten by Fenrir. Surely you know him.”

I shuddered at the memories of Fenrir. He was much, much worse than Lupin, I could say that easily.

“It was between the moon cycles, so he bit Bill when he was still more human than normal. Bill has a... keen interest in rare meats as a result, especially bloodied meat.”

I swore in my head; this would be a problem, and Lupin knew it too well. Damn all werewolves!

“And for that matter, they’d want you at the Christmas dinner. What will be your excuse? ‘I’m not hungry’, while you’re thinking about how the turkey got killed?”

I growled. Now he got that image stuck in my head. I’ve been told Lupin was a kind man and read and heard about him, but how sadistic he was about my problems was just plain... sadistic! He was now chuckling at my expense, for crying out loud!

“You should tell them before your blackmailer does,” Lupin said. Finally, he got up and headed for the door. He opened it and added, “Remember that.” He then left my room.

And the images of me killing a turkey are still stuck in my mind.