You are...Rebel Snape! Found most commonly in Marauder-era fics, you also crop up occasionally in canon-era stories, usually when you're shocking the hell out of Harry with your utter coolness. With your leather clothing, tight body, laid-back personality, and skill on the Quidditch pitch, it's no wonder that everyone from Lucius Malfoy to Voldemort himself wants to shag you. However, when you flip your ponytail and take off on your antique motorcycle, readers might wonder just what happened to Sirius Black...

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