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Old 01-22-2007, 05:44 AM   #389 (permalink)

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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: *Nom nom nom*
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Hogwarts RPG Name:
Phoebe James
First Year

x7 x8

Ministry RPG Name:
Genevieve James
Law Enforcement

Ministry RPG Name:
Carrigan Howard
Accidents & Catastrophes
Made of Awesome | Ern-la the Best-wa | TZ's Apogee

For all who've begged for months, for Christy who came home and left and came home and left and then had a birthday, and for me who is determined to finish... finally. It was hard to write, but very easy once I got started. I hope it makes sense.

Tonks squinted at Remus. “My forgiveness for what exactly? You being a prat to me and ignoring me?”

He set his bottle on the table and squared it precisely before glancing up at her, his eyes sheepish. Remus’s eyes settled back on his bottle. “For starters, yes. I’m horrified at my unseemly behavior, and I can’t begin to explain it to you…”

She leaned forward and jerked his bottle towards her, pulling his glance up with it. “Try.” It was difficult not to smirk a bit at the faint blush creeping up his neck and the wide-eyed look of shock at her use of force.

His mouth opened helplessly more than once before finally he offered, “I didn’t know how to apologize for what I did.” Her silence was taken as an invitation to continue. “I didn’t know how to make things right.”

Tonks was not a stupid woman. In fact, you had to be more than a bit clever to get into the Auror program, let alone finish it and continue on into the field. The fact that Remus was talking complete nonsense, then, made her believe that there was some large clue she was missing. “The best way to make up for ignoring me would have been to stop ignoring me.” She pushed his bottle back into his hand.

Now it was Remus’s turn to look confused. “No, I’m not apologizing for ignoring you.” Her bug-eyed look had him hastily adding, “I’m definitely apologizing for ignoring you, but I was ignoring you for a reason. And I’m apologizing for that.” He emphasized ‘that’ as if it held all the secrets of the universe. In fact, Tonks was pretty sure that he intended for his ‘that’ to explain exactly what it was he was speaking of. It did not.

“Don’t be cryptic, Remus. I’m not skilled in Legilimens and I don’t have a crystal ball. Just tell me what you think you did that was so horrible you had to avoid my company for the past month.” She steepled her hands in front of her, watching the way her long fingers locked and unlocked on the scarred wooden table.

It was probably too much to hope that his avoiding her was unrelated to the kissing incident. In fact, Tonks had been sure that after Remus admitted he was spooked by her kiss, she’d have to eat her own smug self-righteousness and apologize for doing it. No matter that it had been entirely the most perfect kiss of her life and she didn’t want to apologize for it. No matter that even now, watching him stumble and search for words when he was normally so eloquent, even now she wanted to just shut him up and kiss him again. No matter that friends were good, but Tonks wasn’t sure they could ever really be friends again with that kiss hanging over their past.

He finally leaned in as if to impart the biggest secret in the world. “I kissed you.” Well, yeah.

Tonks raised an eyebrow and leaned in as well, her nose nearly touching his. “Was it bad?” His gaze flickered from her wide eyes to her mouth and back again before he caught himself and sat back abruptly in his chair.

“N-no. I mean YES!” His voice could be heard all over the pub, and Rosmerta popped her head out the door to check on them. Tonks waved the woman back into her taproom before turning to Remus again. “Yes,” he repeated more solemnly. “I mean… no.”

Tonks breath came out in a hearty gust. “Which is it? Did you or did you not enjoy kissing me?” Probably not the right time to sound so irritated, but really this was not a hard question.

Her tone seemed to help him gel his thoughts, and Remus was much more lucid. “It doesn’t matter. It was entirely inappropriate. That’s what was bad. I’m very sorry for taking advantage of the situation. Do you forgive me?” She hated that his tone was so impersonal and formal.

“I might, but there are two little problems. First… you didn’t kiss me. I kissed you. And I was going to apologize for it myself, but now I don’t think I will. I’m not sorry. You hear that? I’m not sorry I kissed you. I liked kissing you. I’ll kiss you again.” He looked a little too frightened by that for her to really enjoy the moment, but Tonks was so glad she didn’t have to hide how she felt anymore.

“And the other problem?” Remus looked ready to jump out of his chair and head straight for the door, and Tonks mused the possibility of tying him to his chair until they were through talking.

“The other problem,” and Tonks had her finger out and it was shaking at him wildly. “The other problem is that you liked it too. Just admit it, because it is more than obvious.” She paused, a question teasing at her mind, begging to be asked. The internal battle was too much, and she blurted, “Are you in love with me?”

Tonks’ instincts about tying him to the chair were accurate, as Remus bounced backwards out of his chair and sent it flying. Rosmerta scuttled out of her backroom once again, standing hesitantly at the counter while Remus backed for the door.

“You’re… don’t be… now listen here, Tonks,” his tone had gone very stern and very fatherly, and Tonks was almost inclined to smile. He pointed a finger at her and furrowed his brow. “That is enough of that nonsense. I’m far too old to be even considering settling down with a woman, especially a young woman such as yourself. I’ll not have you getting ideas into your head just because of some shared incident.”

“You’re not too old for romance,” Tonks interjected, but Remus wasn’t through yet.

“Too poor then. I have no job, Tonks. I have no prospects of a job. I have no money, no savings, and no house. I can’t support myself, let alone a family.” She was going to tell him that Aurors made enough money to live on, and that there was plenty of room in her flat for him, but the stubborn set of his jaw let her know it was for naught. “And… and I’m dangerous. I’m a werewolf, Tonks. I turn into a Dark Creature and kill things once a month.”

He didn’t bother to drop his voice, and Tonks could tell that everyone in the place was aware of their conversation. He raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting on her response. “You didn’t answer the question, though. I didn’t ask you why it’s a bad idea. I asked you if you were in love with me? I don’t mind…”

He laughed, bitterly. “You don’t mind? It doesn’t bother you if the werewolf is in love with you? Thanks for that, Tonks.”

“That isn’t what I…”

“No, Tonks. I’m not in love with you.”

She couldn’t read the look in his eyes at all, and before she could ask him, he had disappeared out the door. Rosmerta appeared with a tall bottle that was smoking slightly and one small glass.

“For the pain, dear.”
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