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Old 02-16-2004, 02:40 AM   #14 (permalink)
Biochemkris

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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: The Bowels of SS
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Technically technical all the time Bookaholic

"I've Got A Theory"
DUMBLEDORE:
I've got a theory
That it's a demon
A dancing demon!
No, something isn't right there.
RON:
I've got a theory
Some kid is dreamin'
And we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare.
(The editor isn’t sure how Ron knows about Broadway, but she liked this line too much to change it to something more appropriate)
NEVILLE: I've got a theory we should work this out.
LUNA/HERMIONE/RON/NEVILLE: It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?
NEVILLE: [jumps up]
It could be witches!
Some evil witches! [sees RON's and HERMIONE's expressions]
Which is ridiculous, 'cause witches they were persecuted,
Wicca good and love the earth and woman power
and I'll be over here. [sits]
(See editor’s note, above)
LUNA: I've got a theory! It could be bunnies!
(Silence. The others just stare at her)
HERMIONE: I've got a-
(Suddenly the tune changes to a frantic hard-rock beat with electric guitar and a roving spotlight that waves crazily over LUNA)
LUNA:
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!
They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses!
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
[playing air guitar]
Bunnies!
Bunnies!
It must be bunnies!
LUNA: (back to original melody) Or maybe midgets.
RON: (quickly sits down beside DUMBLEDORE and opens a book ) I've got a theory we should work this fast.
RON/DUMBLEDORE: Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed.
HARRY:
I've got a theory. It doesn't matter.
What can't we face if we're together?
What's in this place that we can't weather?
Voldemort?
We've all been there.
The same old trips
Why should we care?
ALL:
What can't we do if we get in it?
We'll work it through within a minute.
We have to try
We'll pay the price
It's do or die
HARRY: I've almost died six times.
(Pardon the interruption of the song, yet again, but the editor does realize that this line doesn’t fit with the music. The problem is that Harry hasn’t died twice like the original song proposed, so I had to tweak it a little. Thank you for your patience)
ALL: What can't we face if we're together?
DUMBLEDORE: (descant) What can't we face...
ALL: What's in this place that we can't weather?
DUMBLEDORE: ...if we're together...
ALL: There's nothing we can't face.
LUNA: (sits) Except for bunnies.
(end )

NEVILLE: See, that was disturbing.

RON: I thought it was neat.

HARRY: So what’s causing it?

DUMBLEDORE: I thought it didn’t matter.

HARRY: Well, I’m not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable pink socks but, there’s definitely something unnatural going on. And that doesn’t usually lead to hugs and puppies.

LUNA: Well, is it just us?

Harry opens the door to the kitchen and sees Snape in the foyer with a big smile on his face, holding up a robe that looks like it has just gotten back from the dry cleaners. He sings: “They got, the Elmer’s glue out!” Then, the backup singers/dancers in the form of Tonks, Lupin, Mad-Eye Moody, and Kingsley Shacklebolt, all carrying their robes from the cleaners finished the number with, “They got the Elmer’s glue out!”

HARRY: (closing the door and turning back to the others) It’s not just us.

4 INT. 12 GRIMMAULD PLACE : KITCHEN– AFTERNOON
Ginny walks in from school.

GINNY: Oh my god, you’ll never believe what happened at school today.

HARRY: Everybody started singing and dancing.

GINNY: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.

LUNA: Oh my god! Did it sing?

GINNY: So you guys too, huh?

(Ginny sees a talisman on the counter and pockets it during the conversation.)

NEVILLE: So what’d you sing about?

GINNY: Arithmancy.

HERMIONE: That’s right! The volume! The text!

DUMBLEDORE: What text?

RON: The volumey… text…

HERMIONE: We just have a few volumes back in the Gryffindor common room that might be relevant.

DUMBLEDORE: Well I’m just a hair’s breadth from investigating bunnies at this point, so I’m open to anything.

RON: We’ll check it out and give you a call.

HERMIONE: Yeah, this could blow the whole thing wide open.
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