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Govoni · 08-08-2015, 02:45 PM

presents

The Poop Scoop
by Eden McGee

So, let’s talk about poop.

Don’t get your knickers in a wad, either. I’m referring to poop of the…FERTILIZING VARIETY. Fertilizer is one of those things we never think about, but it’s just so necessary for plants, both magical and mundane, to function properly. Different plants respond differently to various fertilizers, but I’m about to let you guys into a liiiiiiittle dungy secret: all natural is the way to go.

And this is why we come to…POOP. Animal dung is gross, I get it, but it’s so nutritious for the plants! Think of it like….food for the flora. We need vegetables and fruit, and enriching their roots helps them to grow bigger and better! It’s the beautiful circle of life. Poop, better known as manure, is rich in nitrogen, potassium, and phosphorus, which are all things plants NEED to live. So…I’m here to help with all your manure questions!

Everyone poops...but in the case of animals, not all excrement is created equal. Meat eaters, in general, do not produce the best manure for plants, so kindly stop using hippogriff dung for your gardening. Also, there has been debate over the years about whether magical creatures or mundane creatures formulate the better fertilizer, but the general consensus seems to be that magical plants have the best response to magical manure. The alliteration there should emphasize just how important MANURE is!

Now, for starters, people have their preferences, but here’s just a few pointers on the dung-front! Dung of the Jobberknoll variety is best for plants that don’t produce fruit or flowers or some sort, because of the high levels of nitrogen in the bird’s poop. So, good for plants without fruit of flowers, but for the rest of them…it's a firm no. Another option for fertilizer is that of a knarl. Knarl excrement has high nitrogen levels, but it also has a good bit of phosphorus, too; making this manure superb for flowering plants or those with fruit. Plus, this 'brand' tends to not smell as horrible as other types of dung; a PLUS if you're sensitive to odors.

That brings us to Mooncalf manure, a favorite of both Enviro Department Head, Emmalee Quinn (whom I have very close correspondence to), and Headmistress Truebridge (we have our moments). It's exceedingly rare and hard to come by...and can only be harvested after a mooncalf has left its burrow. Very specifically, too. It must be collected under a full mooned night before the sun rises. While some herbologists steer away from this choice, not only because it IS rare and expensive, but because it also isn’t as strong in the nitrogen area as other manures are...it DOES help plants grow more quickly than other fertilizers. And is also safe for all forms of flora, unlike Jobberknoll and Knarl excrement. It’s the least likely to kill plants, magical and mundane alike, which probably adds to its price tag. As for plant-life of the less delicate variety, Abraxan manure is the way to go. It's hearty and extremely smelly, and not recommended for any serious greenhouse work; most certainly for any vegetation with flowers. So, I suggest it for shrubs, lawns, and certain trees.

So, there you have it! Whatever flora it is, there is a creature's poop out there prepared to nurture and advocate its growth, and to provide the best fertilizer for your needs and budget. The use of manure is not only the oldest trick in the 'green-thumbed' handbook, but it also gives us a reason to recycle wastes and do our part in protecting the planet. As well as everyone that inhabits it, mundane and magical creatures included!

08-08-2015, 02:45 PM	#31 (permalink)
Govoni MO & DMLE Blast-Ended Skrewt Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Dragonstone Posts: 15,589 Hogwarts RPG Name: Lyric Bayliss-Black Slytherin Fourth Year x12 x12	Zombie Apocalypse Team Leader ★ ★ in a crown of pepperoni and artisan cheese presents The Poop Scoop by Eden McGee So, let’s talk about poop. Don’t get your knickers in a wad, either. I’m referring to poop of the…FERTILIZING VARIETY. Fertilizer is one of those things we never think about, but it’s just so necessary for plants, both magical and mundane, to function properly. Different plants respond differently to various fertilizers, but I’m about to let you guys into a liiiiiiittle dungy secret: all natural is the way to go. And this is why we come to…POOP. Animal dung is gross, I get it, but it’s so nutritious for the plants! Think of it like….food for the flora. We need vegetables and fruit, and enriching their roots helps them to grow bigger and better! It’s the beautiful circle of life. Poop, better known as manure, is rich in nitrogen, potassium, and phosphorus, which are all things plants NEED to live. So…I’m here to help with all your manure questions! Everyone poops...but in the case of animals, not all excrement is created equal. Meat eaters, in general, do not produce the best manure for plants, so kindly stop using hippogriff dung for your gardening. Also, there has been debate over the years about whether magical creatures or mundane creatures formulate the better fertilizer, but the general consensus seems to be that magical plants have the best response to magical manure. The alliteration there should emphasize just how important MANURE is! Now, for starters, people have their preferences, but here’s just a few pointers on the dung-front! Dung of the Jobberknoll variety is best for plants that don’t produce fruit or flowers or some sort, because of the high levels of nitrogen in the bird’s poop. So, good for plants without fruit of flowers, but for the rest of them…it's a firm no. Another option for fertilizer is that of a knarl. Knarl excrement has high nitrogen levels, but it also has a good bit of phosphorus, too; making this manure superb for flowering plants or those with fruit. Plus, this 'brand' tends to not smell as horrible as other types of dung; a PLUS if you're sensitive to odors. That brings us to Mooncalf manure, a favorite of both Enviro Department Head, Emmalee Quinn (whom I have very close correspondence to), and Headmistress Truebridge (we have our moments). It's exceedingly rare and hard to come by...and can only be harvested after a mooncalf has left its burrow. Very specifically, too. It must be collected under a full mooned night before the sun rises. While some herbologists steer away from this choice, not only because it IS rare and expensive, but because it also isn’t as strong in the nitrogen area as other manures are...it DOES help plants grow more quickly than other fertilizers. And is also safe for all forms of flora, unlike Jobberknoll and Knarl excrement. It’s the least likely to kill plants, magical and mundane alike, which probably adds to its price tag. As for plant-life of the less delicate variety, Abraxan manure is the way to go. It's hearty and extremely smelly, and not recommended for any serious greenhouse work; most certainly for any vegetation with flowers. So, I suggest it for shrubs, lawns, and certain trees. So, there you have it! Whatever flora it is, there is a creature's poop out there prepared to nurture and advocate its growth, and to provide the best fertilizer for your needs and budget. The use of manure is not only the oldest trick in the 'green-thumbed' handbook, but it also gives us a reason to recycle wastes and do our part in protecting the planet. As well as everyone that inhabits it, mundane and magical creatures included!