Spotted: One very attractive Handsomepuff eagerly awaiting owl service in the Great Hall. Does Noel Wallace have a bevy of pen pals? Has he taken up writing to the prisoners in Azkaban out of the goodness of his badger-heart? The truth is less charming, we fear.

Noel was spotted recently chatting with himself on a bench in the courtyard, and there's good reason to believe those owls were delivering cheerful notes that Noel had penned to himself. We hope your multiple personalities are keeping you good company, Handsomepuff, but maybe you could take refuge with one of the many pretty girls making eyes at you.

Also, happy birthday, Handsomepuff.