Look out Hogwarts, there’s a new Romeo and Juliet roaming our modest corridors, sitting in our classes and dutifully distracting everyone present. Gryffindor Third Years Michael Toussaint and Zahra Kettleburn were seen discussing plans for the afterlife during an interesting—for lack of a better word—Muggle Studies lesson. Much like the Shakespearean duo, these two plan to be with each other, long after they’ve crossed over and join the likes of our beloved house ghosts and Moaning Myrtle. It begs the question of how well they thought this through. Myrtle’s been looking for friends her age for the last century or two. Who’s to say she won’t try snagging Little Toussaint right from under the nose of his overzealous girlfriend? It’s no secret he’s famous with the ladies, why should something as trivial as death change this?

On a livelier note, the Aparecium has not failed to get wind of young Cutty Mordaunt’s latest blunder. What does one do when they see blossoming seeds of romance out by the bridge leading to the rest of the grounds? Why obnoxiously demand they get right to the snogs before his wrinkles get wrinkles of course! Kudos to you Cutty for attempting the role of Cupid though we do suggest a lesson in subtlety before you make any future attempts.

You heard it here first, students embracing what seems like the obvious end for those caught up in this aging disease and others trying to do a bit of good before they go, as misguided as they may be.

Lofn