Chapter Five

December had that way of creeping up unexpectedly. Furthermore, work and social commitments also had a way of passing time, accelerating the progression of one week to the next. Between training, working, spending time with Gavin and making frequent trips to the West Midlands, Emily wasn't sure how she even managed to find time to sleep. Things were beginning to simultaneously slow down and speed up at work, in preparation for the holiday break. Processes sped up, meetings and debriefs were scheduled more frequently, and productivity was high. But there was a sense of finality as the year drew to a close.

With her pending weekend trip to France, followed by Christmas and New Years celebrations, Emily prepared herself for what was bound to be another difficult visit with Zeke. Since his mother had been admitted to the City Hospital, Emily had found it challenging to tolerate her visits with him. He was miserable, she was miserable, his mother was in a bad way and barely lucid. Still, she went. She had promised him that she would be there. For this reason, her visits had been particularly unpleasant. The misery in the oncology ward was one thing, compounded with the misery of the child and the need for paperwork to be signed... well... she'd have more willingly locked herself in a lift with a manticore. It took a great deal of patience, and equal measures of coaxing to get Veronica to sign all the legal documents required for her to have temporary guardianship of Zeke in the event she passed – which was inevitable. Emily had relied on the legal expertise of those few that she trusted most , so everything was done by the books-- only a little quicker in her case thanks to the strings she was able to pull. At any rate, Emily was confident everything would go through without a hitch.

“Today?” Emily asked, staring through the slits in the blinds looking into Veronica's room. Zeke stood beside her, pasty white with dark circles beneath his eyes. It looked as though he hadn't slept in days.
“Worse,” he said, his eyes trained on his mother as if she might disappear at any moment. From her brief discussion with the attending physician, Emily could tell it hadn't been good. Shorter bouts of consciousness, loss of control over bowel and bladder movements, and she was still physically deteriorating. How was it, that a woman as thin as a praying mantis, could still lose what seemed to be half of her body mass?
Emily placed a hand on Zeke's shoulder, drawing him nearer to her as they stood in the hall looking miserable together.
“You remember I have to go away this weekend, don't you?” she prompted, making sure he hadn't somehow forgotten. The last thing she needed was for him to be expecting her when she couldn't be there. The idea of the getaway made her feel selfish now, given everything that was going on. The only reason she hadn't cancelled it, was because she knew she needed it. One weekend. A short vacation. A break from all of her responsibilities, so she could wrap her head around this mess. That, and she knew Gavin would be insistent.
“I know,” he replied after a measured pause. “But you won't be long will you?”
“I'll be back Monday,” she confirmed, moving her hand to his hair to ruffle it lightly.

They ate cold sandwiches and had tea in the cafeteria, neither of them uttering a word until a call over the pa system announced that visiting hours were almost up.
“Can't I stay?” he asked, not for the first time.
Emily just shook her head. There was nothing she could do about it. Nothing.
“C'mon, let's go say goodbye,” she said reluctantly, slipping out of her chair and beckoning him with an open arm. There was nothing worse than watching him repeat his goodbye's over and over again on the off chance it would be his last, but she did it anyway. She imagined, the only thing that could be worse than watching them, was giving or receiving them.