Have you ever wondered how to give the perfect compliment to a girl? You could tell her her school shoes might have just the right amount of dirt, her hair might have one less pin than yesterday, hey her robes might not make her look that fat afterall but if you really want to impress a girl you might want to go looking for one Ascanius Stark. The boys never short on compliments.

Let’s face it girls. If you haven’t been called ‘gorgeous’ by this Slytherin Charmer, you’ve likely been living under a rock or assault his eyes in ways they weren’t supposed to be assaulted. Not to say you’re ugly. Is it possible for him to use such a word? It has yet to be seen. Not even the Professors are exempt from his compliments. Just what game are you playing at Mr. Stark? Truthfully, we don’t care, as long as it brings in the drama that keeps us around. We also have to question whether his Gryffindor girlfriend, Penelope Greenwell minds sharing her compliments with everything in a skirt. I sure would!

From what we’ve heard she isn’t the only Gryffindor learning the golden rule of sharing. Alice dear? How ‘gorgeous’ do your boyfriend’s eyes look when they’re plastered to another girl’s face? Our sources tell us the biting Captain has a lot of experience with this. That rumour of the pair sharing coping advice in a corner of the Common Room while the rest of the Pride sleeps is beginning to look even realer than when we first heard it.

Is it a coincidence that both boyfriends happen to be snakes? Come now dears, we all know the Aparecium doesn’t believe in such things. If you want, we could set you up with a book dealer selling ‘How to Train Your Boyfriend’. Send us a note if you’re interested. Until next time my darlings, remember to be good, we’re always watching.

Thor