It so comforting to see the Headmistress in the stands supporting the school's Quidditch teams this term. Raising the morale of the players and all that...but at the same time, something has been haltingly brought to our attention.

This is one lady that does not play games when it comes to her hair! Sure, it's a nice head of hair...but the way she's been diving under benches to protect it....Awfully suspicious, Headmistress Truebridge. In fact, I'm rather curious as to how she keeps it so...perfectly coiffed. We have a theory...and I know you're all just dying to hear it! So, I shall share.

Ready?

It's really just a beautiful wig that she removes at night!...It would explain the lack of frizz and it's perfect smoothness. Never a spit-end in sight! Has anyone ever seen her in a salon getting a trim? We didn't think so...and that color! Clearly bottle...or just plain synthetic.

It's not at all like Head Girl Selina Skylar's hair...or Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain Renesmee Dixon's. Not even theirs is that red.

Don't worry, Headmistress. Even though your head is red like a Quidditch quaffle, we'll keep the players at bay. Your secret is safe with us.